


Korrasami Week

by AutyRose



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: AU, Angst, Character Death, F/F, Femslash, Fluff, Korrasami - Freeform, Korrasami Week, Original Characters - Freeform, What Is Wrong With ME, alternative universe, and all that good stuff, completely random, in the avatar mapped world, legend of korra - Freeform, modern day AU, prompt driven, why am i not working on the arts, without bending and things of that nature
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-04-21 08:08:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 103,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4821641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutyRose/pseuds/AutyRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story of Korra and Asami taking on the challenges of the modern day together, blossoming from the prompts of Korrrasami Week September 2015 and continuing on through each Korrasami week/month thereafter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Flowers

**Author's Note:**

> Well, after some prompting on tumblr, I decided to give Korrasami Week a try! So, I wrote this first chapter based on the first prompt, Flowers. Turned out different than what I was expecting, but I still like it. Though, in hindsight, this was probably a bad idea because I need to desperately work on The Arts and my homework. Ugh. Yolo.

She watched her from across the library, completely uninterested in the “Team Dynamics and Peer Leadership” workbook in front of her. It seemed as though she found herself in this state more and more often these days. Midterms were approaching, and the library had been crammed to the brim with frantic students trying to cram for both their exams during this week of classes and the practicals that were to come in the week to follow. And every day that Korra had been in some part of the library, her eyes had fallen on the raven beauty that was nose deep in thick text books one minute and flipping through multiple notebooks the next.

Korra had been fascinated with this woman for years, though she knew very little about her. She remembered seeing her during orientation, which was a whole two years ago, but she hadn’t seen her much since then; her ROTC training had been too time consuming, much to the point that she had started struggling with her third year academics, and she didn’t doubt that the raven across the library wasn’t busy with her _own_ studies and life. And from what Korra heard, she was doing a _much_ better job in the academic department than the Water Tribe girl was. She would like to think that this was all due to her priorities in ROTC. While Korra was in good physical condition, her strive to be the best on the field amongst both the women _and_ the men had resulted in her running late into the evening, taking brief moments to shower and eat before trying – and usually failing – to get a handle on her medical classes. She could just forget about trying to sleep. Sleep was a distant dream in her world. Korra had become famous amongst her friends as the “narcoleptic”, in the sense that Korra could fall asleep anywhere in almost any position because she was so _tired_ that she tried to catch twenty minute maps whenever she could, _wherever_ she could.

Of _course_ she had to be the one to try and balance becoming a vet with training for the army. And in her case, it looked like she was heading more for the latter than the former.

While she was good with animals (particularly, her large dog, Naga, who lived off campus with her), all of this mumbo-jumbo body part terminology, molecular descriptions, and _latin_ , most of all, was driving her off the deep end. She still had a year to go in her coursework at the University, but it was becoming painfully obvious to her that, perhaps, she wasn’t quite cut out to be a medical professional.

That didn’t leave her with many other options, though.

But this was not something she wanted to think about at the moment.

Korra shook her head and brought her attention back to the woman a few tables away. She took a closer look, expecting another slurry of books opened to different sections in whatever course it was that she was studying; she knew the woman was a chemical engineering major, but she hadn’t a clue about what types of classes she had to take in her curriculum – minus the few they had shared, such as, well, chemistry.

Today was different, though. Today, she only had her laptop and a pack of graph paper on the table, from what Korra could tell. At least, she _assumed_ it was graph paper since it seemed like she had been drawing some sort of schematic on the faint-printed grid. The woman’s brow was scrunched in concentration as she flicked back and forth between her computer screen and the sheets in front of her. She slid the top one off and put it underneath a fresh page. She started tracing over the image she had previously drawn, her face an inch closer to the paper than it was before.

Korra rested her cheek in her palm, her elbows on the table top, as she stared at the woman – lacking a single ounce of subtlety as she did so.

_She’s so focused. I wonder what she’s doing…_

“Gazing at Asami again, aren’t you?”

Korra jumped from the sudden voice as her friend and fellow-ROTC comrade, Bolin, plopped beside her, a small stack of books following a similar motion onto the table.

“Wha – what? _No_. I – I wasn’t staring, Bo. I wasn’t staring at _her_ , I was just – staring in general. But _not_ at Asami.”

Bolin chuckled and tossed his backpack to the ground. “You’re not fooling anyone, Korra. And you’re especially not fooling _me_. Don’t you think I know you better than that?”

She sighed and turned back to her boring book. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. But I _wasn’t_ staring.”

“What do you call it, then?” He pulled a notebook from his bag and flipped it to a seemingly random spot in the middle of his borderline-illegible handwriting.

“Wishing I didn’t have to read this stupid book.” Korra turned a few pages at once until she hit the back cover. The outside slipped from her fingers and closed with a soft thud against the table.

This noise was followed up by the thump of Korra’s head in nearly the same spot.

“You didn’t sleep last night, did you?”

She shook her head and shut her eyes. “I took a nap this morning, but this book is literally draining me of life. I think I’m already graying.”

Bolin laughed. “Oh boy. I don’t have much to look forward to next year when I’m in that class, do I?”

“Nope.”

“Which book is that?” He slid it out from under Korra’s arms as she grumbled an inaudible answer. “Team Dynamics and Peer Leadership. How exciting.” He tossed it onto the table with another chuckle and returned to his own material.

“ _You’re_ telling _me_ ,” Korra replied, curling a bit more into herself and wishing that she was in bed with Naga instead of trying to study for her exams. Midterms week was her _least_ favorite week of the semester, with finals week coming in as a close second. She was pretty sure it was everyone’s least favorite, except for maybe…

She lifted her head just enough to see Asami from across the library once more. Her red lips were beautifully stark against her pale skin. The purple shadow of her lids complimented her peridot eyes. Her loose raven locks cascaded down past her shoulders, uninhibited by a tie and untouched by the stress that would be common amongst most of the students during these past two weeks.

_How does she do it? How does she manage to look so well put together, even now?_

“You’re _staring_ again,” Bolin chirped in a teasing tone. The grin on his face was cut short by a sharp pain in his arm. “Ow! What was that for?”

Korra gave him an obvious look and slammed her face back into the table.

“If you think she’s so interesting, why don’t you just go talk to her?” Bolin offered, rubbing what was sure to be a fresh bruise as he did so.

“It’s not that easy, Bo,” Korra groaned in defeat.

“Oh, come on! I’ve seen you take on tougher challenges than this. Remember when you broke your toe on the obstacle course and still kept going, even beating your best time? Or when you sparred with that _same_ broken toe and managed to kick ass??”

Korra sighed and sat up. “That stuff comes easy to me, though. Even though it was probably a stupid move to keep training while it was broken. The nail still doesn’t grow right on it – anyway, that’s not important.” She threw her hands up in defense as she refocused on the topic at hand. “Physical stuff is easy. Brain stuff? Not so much.” She glared at her invertebrate anatomy book sticking out of her bag with a mixture of disgust and apprehension.

“So where does that leave ‘talking to pretty girls’?”

“That’s with the brain stuff –” Korra almost continued when she saw the smirk on Bolin’s face. “What?”

“Well, you didn’t _deny_ that she’s pretty.”

Korra froze up for a second and tried to hide it. “Wha – well, she’s not _not_ pretty. I mean, have you _seen_ her? I – it’s not like I – she –”

“You like her, don’t you?”

Her cheeks shot red. “ _What? No_, no, I don’t – I don’t even know her.”

He grinned and sat back in his chair, arms folded over his chest. “Well, whose fault is _that_?”

Korra opened her mouth to argue but closed it just as quick. She turned away into a tired pout.

“ _Exactly_. You’ve been pining after Asami since I’ve known you. Just go say hi to her. It can’t be that hard. You came right up to me and introduced yourself during our basic training course.”

“Well, _you_ weren’t a pretty girl.”

“Hey, I would be a _beautiful_ girl! Just have to get a wig, wear some makeup, walk around in heels…”

Korra shook her head and chuckled. “You don’t know _anything_ about being a woman, do you Bolin?”

He shrugged. “At least I know how to talk to them.”

Korra’s pout worsened.

“Just go say hi. What harm could it do?”

“It could ruin any potential friendship we have!”

The annoyance on Bolin’s face was crystal clear. “ _What_ friendship? Right now, you’re just staring at her every day in the library or on the quad or in the food court. That’s not much of a friendship to me.”

“But what if she thinks I’m a creep?”

“Oh, why would she think that,” he asked sarcastically, “other than the fact that you just keep staring at her and looking away whenever she gets close to noticing you?”

Korra narrowed her eyes and gave Bolin another bruise.

“One of these days, I’m going to give _you_ an ‘affectionate bruise’, as you like to call them.”

She chuckled. “I’d like to see you try.”

“I’d like to see _you_ try to talk to Asami.”

Korra scoffed. “Why do you want this so badly?”

“Because _you_ want it so badly,” Bolin gestured as he pulled his ear buds from his bag. “All I’m saying is that I’m trying to look out for you,” he popped one of the buds in and plugged the wire into his phone. “Just give it a shot. Maybe then you won’t just seem like a creeper peering at her all the time.” He scrolled through his music as he fit the other earphone in.

“But I don’t know _how_.”

Bolin sighed as he found the album he wanted to study to. “Just be yourself. That’s how _we_ became friends, isn’t it?”

Contemplation consumed her expression.

_I suppose he’s right on that one._

Korra looked away and glanced across the library once more. Asami was packing up her papers and shutting her laptop down.

_Shit, she’s leaving._

_Maybe it’s for the better._

She peered at Bolin beside her.

_Or maybe Bolin is right._

_Well, you better get moving if you want to do something about it now._

Asami was approaching the door when Korra shot up from her seat.

Bolin watched her half-walk, half-run after the engineering student. He shook his head and chuckled to himself before returning to his chicken scrawl.

(-)

Korra ran up to Asami just as she exited the library. In the commotion of opening the second door, the raven managed to drop her phone. Korra jumped on the opportunity. “Oh, hey, let me get that for you,” she bent down and grabbed the phone, “your hands look a little full.” She offered the device back with a sheepish smile, her three wolf tails blowing in the gentle spring breeze.

Asami faced her, taken a bit aback by the person _right_ behind her. “Oh – um, thanks.” She mimicked the embarrassed grin and took her phone from Korra’s outstretched palm. She glanced down at it and almost turned away when she stopped. Her peridots met the oceans before her with a brow raised. “Wait, I’ve seen you before.”

Korra did everything she could to hide her mild panic.

_Oh man, she knows, she knows, doesn’t she? I’m the creepy girl that always stares at her even though I don’t mean to, I just – _

“You’re Korra, right,” Asami asked, cutting Korra’s thoughts off.

“I – uh, yeah! That’s me!” She pointed to herself with her thumbs and smiled again, using this as a defense mechanism to prevent the pure horror inside of her from leaking out to her surface.

_Relax. Breathe. Be cool. Be yourself._

“You’re Asami, right?”

Asami smiled and nodded, leaning against the chest-height wall of the walkway beside her. “You’re two for two.”

“That’s a good thing, right?”

She chuckled. “I would say so. It’s certainly better than zero.” Her phone pinged just as she finished. She glanced down at it and replied to the message at incredible speed, given she was only using one hand; the other had been holding a book too big for her cluttered bag.

Korra stood there in awkward silence for the three seconds that it took Asami to respond, somewhat frozen in admiration of the woman before her; this had been the closest she had ever been to the raven, and she was even more beautiful up close. The faint fragrance of lilies floated over to her nose. She did everything she could not to blush.

“Sorry about that; just a study group wondering where I am.”

“Oh! I’ll, uh, let you get to what you were doing.”

Asami smiled in gratitude. “Thanks again, Korra.” She slid the phone into her pocket and adjusted the strap on her bag before turning around to leave.

_You’re missing your opportunity, Korra. Do something!_

“Wait,” she almost hollered, forcing Asami to stop in her tracks at the end of the walkway. Korra jogged up to her as the engineering student faced her. “I – um, I was wondering if, well… I mean –”

_Get it together, Korra!_

“I – well, I’ve seen you around, a lot, and I – I think you’re really cool and, _stuff_ , and I was wondering, well, I’d like to get to know you so – _do you want to be friends_?” The words flew out of her mouth much quicker than she anticipated. A deep blush followed. Korra averted her eyes and turned her back on Asami out of embarrassment. “I – uh, never mind. I should get going.” Before she could sprint away, a hand on her shoulder stopped her. She let it guide in a half circle. Her sheepish blues met the peridots across from her, which held hesitation that was covered up with amusement.

“How about we get some tea sometime? The break from studying and working on projects would be nice.”

Befuddlement crossed her face. Perhaps shock would be a better word. “R – really?”

Asami nodded, knowing that there was no turning back on her decision. “Here,” she pulled a piece of paper from her bag – a piece of _graphing_ paper – and scribbled a number on it. “Text me.” She smiled and handed the sheet to Korra.

Korra took it in an almost dazed state.

_Is this really happening?_

“I – um, thanks. I will!” She grinned back, holding the page tight in her fingers.

“Cool. Maybe we can meet up tonight or something–” Another ping interrupted her. Asami sighed and pulled her phone from her pocket. “I’ve got to go; study group.” She turned and walked at a quick pace. “I’ll see you later, Korra,” she called over her shoulder, “text me!”

Korra watched after her, her smile morphing into a goofy one, as she waved back. “Will do,” she whispered to herself in disbelief.

(-)

“So, how’d it go?” Bolin pulled an earplug from his ear, his grin widening when he saw a piece of paper in her hand. “Looks like it went well!”

Korra smiled back and plopped into her chair. “Yeah, it did.”

“Sounds like _someone_ was right about _something_.” He crossed his arms, hinting at some sort of statement of appreciation and boasting nonetheless.

Instead, he got an “affectionate bruise”.

“So, what did she say?”

“She wants me to text her. She wants to get tea sometime.”

“Sounds like a good start to me!”

Korra stared down at the paper, tracing over the number time and time again.

“So, are you going to text her?”

“Of course I am. I just don’t know _when_.”

“Hmmm… if you do it too soon, then you might look desperate. But if you don’t do it soon enough, it might look like you aren’t interested. This is a tough one.”

Korra groaned and slammed her head onto the desk again. “Why are girls so hard, Bolin? _I’m_ a girl, I’m supposed to understand them, right?”

He shrugged. “Well, what would _you_ want to happen if you had given Asami your number instead?”

Korra thought for a moment before sitting up and shoving the paper into her pants pocket. “I’m gonna go take a walk,” she murmured as she packed her bag and slung it over her shoulder.

“You’re going to go ask Naga, aren’t you?”

 _Dammit, Bolin_!

Her cheeks flushed as she turned away from him and left the library. So _what_ if she was going to consult her dog on the matter? Who would know what to do better than her best friend?

_Maybe someone who can actually text._

Korra grumbled to herself and took the chain off of her bike. With a deep breath, she kicked off and raced home.

(-)

She stared at her phone as she lay on her couch, a soft breeze coming in from the window. Naga, of course, had not been much help. If anything, she just cocked her head and jumped into Korra’s lap for a snuggle fest.

“It’s been half an hour. I think that’s long enough. Do you think that’s long enough?”

Naga lifted her head, yawned, and lowered it back onto Korra’s chest.

She sighed. “Well, here goes nothing.”

               Hey Asami! This is Korra. We met outside the library today.

Korra almost tossed her phone aside after a few minutes of nothingness when she saw the little ‘typing’ icon at the bottom of her screen.

Hey, Korra! It’s Asami. We met outside the library today.

Korra chuckled.

               Good, you remember me then lol.

Of course I remember you. How are things going?

               Good haha. Just got home and now I’m hanging out with Naga.

Naga?

               Oh, Naga’s my dog! Forgot to mention that part.

You have a dog? That’s so cool!

               Haha, thanks. She’s a sweetheart. She likes to snuggle and she’s currently smothering me on my couch.

Aww. Sounds pretty adorable to me.

_Naga isn’t the only one who’s adorable._

Korra blushed.

               She pretty much is. You’ll have to meet Naga sometime.

How about tonight?

                Tonight? Do they allow dogs at the tea shop?

Not quite. But you could come to my place. I’ve got plenty of tea, though most of it is jasmine.

                That’s okay! I love jasmine tea!

Good then. Why don’t you stop over at seven?

Her heart fluttered.

                Sounds good to me. I’ll bring Naga.

I was hoping you would! See you then.

Korra grinned and checked the time. She had an hour to shower and get ready, though she wasn’t quite sure what _ready_ was. For now, it would be smelling better and having her wolf tails slightly more presentable than they currently were. She would work out the details later.

“Come on, Naga. I gotta get ready.” She pushed her dog off of her, much to Naga’s chagrin.

Naga barked and circled on the end of the couch before plopping down once more. She stayed that way until about quarter to seven and lifted her head only when Korra frantically rushed to her phone, tying her final wolf tail in place as she did so. She shot Asami a quick text and scratched Naga’s ear.

                Hey, Asami. Quick question. Where do you live??

Lol. 152 6th street.

                Thanks. On my way!

(-)

                Hey Asami. I’m here. I think... Do you see me?

I see you. I’m coming out now.

_Coming out?_

“Sit, Naga.”

Naga barked and did as she was told.

“Good girl,” Korra bent over and pet her dog just as Asami popped out of her apartment.

“Hey,” she skipped down the steps, a basket in the crook of her elbow. “Are you ready to go?”

Korra straightened and cocked her head. “Go where?”

Asami held the thicket carrier up. “I packed some food and tea. I thought it would be nice to get away from campus for a little while. You don’t mind, do you?”

She smiled. “No, not at all. This is Naga, by the way.” Korra stepped to the side a bit and gestured to her rather large canine companion.

Naga’s tail wagged in an instant as she panted.

“Hello there, Naga. It’s nice to meet you.” She bent down just a bit so that she was at Naga’s level. “Can I pet her?”

Naga barked before Korra could answer.

“That’s a yes,” Korra chuckled, an embarrassed hand behind her head.

Asami grinned and scratched Naga behind her ear, hitting her favorite spot without even trying.

_This is a good start._

“Alright, let’s go. I’ve got the perfect place in mind.” Asami rose and straightened her jacket. There were two half gears on the shoulder pads, the garb a mixture of red and black.

Korra nodded and followed her, beckoning Naga to come with them with a gentle gesture of her head. Not that the animal needed much convincing; Korra could already tell that Naga and Asami were going to get along just fine.

_Now it’s just up to me._

(-)

They walked for quite some time through Republic City, making small talk and getting to know each other as they did so. They conversed until they reached a park on the outskirts of the City. It was quiet as the sun hung low, not quite starting to set though its position brought about the coolness of a spring evening. An occasional runner or family would pass through. Birds flew overhead between the trees and squirrels ran about on the ground, though they sprinted away once they saw Naga eyeing them.

“I like coming to this park when I need a study break. It’s so gentle here.” Asami led them through the park until they reached its edge, its border facing the mountains surrounding the United Republic of Nations. They walked until they reached a small path lined with red brick. A sign was near the entrance that read “The Gardens”.

Korra looked around at the greening life surrounding her. Some areas had small, gradient blue and purple flowers blooming. Others were simply bushes, their thorns hidden by the incoming buds. Short plants with spiky, vertical leaves forced their way through the ground now that the frost had long passed.

“It’s much more beautiful here in the summer, though my favorite is in the fall.” Asami moved to a single bench in the center of the garden and sat on it, placing the basket on her lap.

Korra sat beside her, Naga at their feet. “Why is it your favorite in the fall?”

“Because of the roses.” There was a mixture of emotions in her voice. “Roses are my favorite. Some of the most beautiful roses I’ve ever seen I’ve seen in this garden. Orange ones and pink ones and white ones.” A gentle breeze passed through her hair as she glanced over at the section of the landscape that held all of the roses. A heaviness filled her heart. “It’s nice not to be alone this time.”

Korra raised her brow. “What do you mean?”

Asami opened the basket and removed a small container, its sides warm in her hands. She took out two small mugs and placed them on the other side of the bench as she poured the jasmine tea. “Usually, I come here by myself. Sometimes it’s nice, but other times, it’s a bit lonely.” She handed Korra a cup.

“I can see what you mean,” Korra replied as she took the mug from Asami. “Why do you come by yourself, then? Don’t any of your friends ever want to come with you?”

“Sometimes.” She left it at that, though _that_ was a lie; she didn’t want to admit that she didn’t have many friends. Even her study group was just a bunch of her project partners. They didn’t know her favorite song or her favorite color. All they knew was that she was smart, and that’s all they needed to know when it came to their academics. Asami shook this off and pulled several sandwiches from the basket. “I hope you like peanut butter and jelly. I haven’t had time to go shopping the past week or so.”

Korra chuckled. “It’s alright, Asami. PB and J is one of my favorites when I’m here.” She pulled the wrapping away from the sandwich and bit into it, a hum of satisfaction escaping her.

Asami smiled and followed suit. They ate their sandwiches in silence, enjoying the peace and quiet and ignoring the odd tension in the air.

“You know,” Asami spoke up, “I was wondering when you were going to introduce yourself to me. I’ve seen you staring at me for quite some time.”

Korra almost choked on her current bite. “What? _No_ , I – I wasn’t –”

Asami laughed. “I’ve noticed you staring at me since freshman year.”

She turned away to hide her red cheeks. “Really?”

Asami nodded.

Korra looked out into the scenery, the sky starting to shift in hue from the setting sun. “Then why didn’t you ever say anything? You could have told me to stop.”

“I didn’t want you to, to be honest.” It was Asami’s turn to avert her gaze. “I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while, too. But I was – I’ve been going through a lot the past few years. I haven’t… I wasn’t ready. I haven’t felt ready to branch out to people. But then you came up to me and you were so kind to me. I guess it was just the opportunity that I needed.”

Korra lowered her tea mug and stared at Asami, who was avoiding her ocean eyes. “What happened that made the past few years so rough?”

“Other than being an engineering student?” She chuckled, though it was just to mask the pain. She knew the real answer to Korra’s question and just didn’t feel right in hiding it. She took a breath to keep herself together. “My mother passed away my freshman year. She died of cancer. None of us saw it coming until it was terminal. I – I didn’t get to say goodbye.”

Her heart sunk. “Asami…” She didn’t know what to say. “Were you two close?”

Asami nodded. “I was like her little clone.” She smiled at this. “We used to do everything together. Her and my dad and I. It hit me hard. That’s why I – I’ve been a bit closed off from others…”

“Asami,” Korra reached out and held her hand in as innocent of a way as she could. “I’m here for you. I know it might be too late and we’ve only made small talk and what not, but – you don’t have to do this alone. You have a friend.”

The expression on her face was a mixture of happiness and utter heartbreak. Her insides waged war and she struggled to keep the tears from breaching. She had neglected her social life and self-care to focus on her academics, to be the best she could be for her mother, to _distract_ herself the best she could. She looked away, though she kept her hand in Korra’s. “I’m sorry for this. I know it must seem like a lot when we’ve just gotten to know each other for the first time. I’m not the type to dump my problems on other people.”

“I don’t see it that way at all, Asami.” She gave her hand a squeeze and glanced at the garden around them. “Were roses your mom’s favorite, too?”

Asami nodded. “We used to garden together. We had a rose garden. Her favorite was the limbo rose. She planted some the month I was born, because their color reminded her of me, of my eyes.” She lifted her head and stared at the budding rose bushes across the path.

“What’s _your_ favorite type of rose?”

“Me? I really like Kormarter roses. They look like sunrises.” She smiled and squeezed Korra’s hand back, grateful for just… _everything_. It didn’t seem like much from someone on the outside, but no one knew what it was like to be in her head. “Thank-you for this. _Really_. I – wasn’t expecting to have this reaction while being here with someone else.”

“Like I said, Asami, it’s okay. I’m – I’m just glad that you let me share this moment with you. If it’s important to you, then it’s important to me.”

Their eyes locked, a gentle grin on each of their faces.

But to Korra, it just didn’t seem like enough.

“Come on,” Korra pulled her up from the bench in a sudden burst of energy. “Let’s walk around and check out the gardens.” She chugged the rest of her tea, Naga already wagging her tail at her side.

Asami smirked and packed the basket, breaking the physical contact between the two of them. She tucked the carrier into her arm by the handle, thankful that she had given Korra a chance. She hoped _not_ to talk about the negatives for a while. Just the positives. Just for now…

Korra urged her onward, though she actively avoided the rose garden to ease Asami’s recalled pain.

Asami was drawn to the yellow flowers of the forsythias. Naga sniffed a white and maroon daphne, sneezing after taking in the pollen. Korra admired the blue and purple scillas, their colors reminding her of her home back in the south. They appreciated the simplicity of the moment, of the beauty around them, of the setting sun and the time spent together. Most of all, they welcomed not only the blossoming flowers, but the blossoming friendship between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I NEVER PLANNED ON IT BEING SAD I'M SORRY.


	2. Hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the continuation of the Korrasami Week fic. Hope you enjoy it. ^_^

Today was hot. Hotter than any other spring day Asami had felt before. Her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail as she tried to study in the crammed library. Finals were among them, the past few weeks flying by, and there were students of all types in the vicinity – from people who had been paying attention all year and were simply reviewing their outlines to people who didn’t even know what to put in their study sheets.

It certainly didn’t help that the air conditioning wasn’t working.

Asami wiped her brow with the back of her hand and took a sip of her water. Sure, there were other libraries on campus, but this was the only one with the software she needed installed on the computers in the cluster she had packed herself in.

Not to mention that the other libraries were just as full, if not moreso.

She turned back to her reactor design, looking over the specifications to ensure the system would run. It had been a part of the project that her and her group had been working on for weeks now, and it was up to her to make sure everything worked based on the information the others had calculated.

Of course, most of their numbers were wrong.

She didn’t understand what was so hard about gathering information from data tables. They were online on _one_ website, for Spirits sake. Even the equations could be found in the book or in the notes from the class. The professor clearly listed out their possible options for their wastewater treatment system, from the primary clarification all the way to the tertiary. They _had_ taken the anaerobic treatment route, but _still_ …

She groaned and shook her head as she adjusted the height of the reactor.

_Yeah, a thirty foot reactor. That’ll work._

She scoffed and brought the height up to fifty feet. She ran the simulation and got _better_ results, but not quite the _right_ ones.

Asami yawned and bent closer to her notepad, trying to focus on her work in the heat. A small piece of her hair fell into her face. She brushed it away in annoyance when her eye caught her phone. It lit up with a text from none other than Korra.

She smiled and unlocked her phone to see the message.

Hey, Asami. What are you up to right now? Still at the library?

                I’m pretty sure I have a permanent residence here, haha. But yeah, just working away. Fixing all of the mistakes my group made on our reactor design.

Haha, what would they do without you?

                Who knows? Probably design a reactor that would explode.

It’s a good thing you’re there, then. We don’t need any more industrial failures after that last oil spill.

                That’s certainly true. Cabbage Corp. should have done much more to failsafe their system.

She shook her head, feeling just a bit nerdish from her response.

Anyway, what’s up?

Nothing much, just sweating my ass off. Just got done with advanced training for today. So tired lol

                Why don’t you take a nap?

I still have a lot of studying to do. Speaking of which, can I join you?

                Join me?

At the library…

                Oh! Right. Sorry, my brain is slowly getting fried.

Haha it’s alright. So can I join you?

                Of course! I’m in the computer lab of Fan.

That’s the engineering building, right?

                Science and tech

Oh, right. I probably should have known that with all the science classes I’ve had to take there.

                Hahaha, you’d think so. We’ve only taken all of our chemistry classes here lol

Shut it, Sato.

                Just get over here before I find my project partners and go on a rampage.

Will do.

Asami smiled and focused on her work once more, a new energy coming over her. Her life had drastically improved since meeting Korra and _actually_ engaging in conversation with her. They spent time together almost every day after their first lunch in The Gardens, whether it was studying, sharing a quick meal, or just going on walks with Naga. They even dragged the other to activities that they never would have gone to alone; Korra had taken Asami to at least two parties while Asami had brought a reluctant-at-first Korra to a few local museums. It turned out that they both had fun in the end, though whether it was from the activity itself or just the fact that they were with each other was still to be determined.

It was no surprise that Asami had developed feelings for Korra in this short amount of time. As if that was such a hard thing to do. Korra was _amazing_. At least, Asami thought so. She came all the way from the Southern Water Tribe just to study at the university to become a vet, which in and of itself was a spectacular feat in Asami’s eyes. Asami was smart, but she doubted that she would be able to handle anything medical had she studied it in school. She didn’t know how Korra did it.

_I don’t think Korra knows how she does it, either._

She chuckled at the thought and flipped to an example problem in her textbook to help her model their system. This stuff, she could understand. Chemical reactions. Microorganisms. _Math_. Give her that any day and she would be a happy camper. But _medical_?

Asami scoffed as she wrote a few things down in the ledger of her notes.

_I’m sure if you applied yourself, you would do fine._

_Maybe you’re right about that. But I don’t know…_

_Asami, you’re smart. You could do anything!_

She shook her head to this and turned the page, the combatting voice starting to sound more like Korra’s argument than her own.

Because, in fact, it _was_. They had had this conversation before over noodles at the food court. Korra was trying to remember different body parts of cats for her quiz – something about a sartorius or something… something in the leg, Asami later learned – when she had mentioned that medical was something she wouldn’t do well in. Her previous reply in her head was almost verbatim of what Korra had said before slurping up another mouthful of noodles. Asami dismissed it inside, though she smiled on the out.

She sighed and wiped the sweat off of her forehead once more. The heat was becoming too much for her. She closed her eyes and rubbed them, the toll of sitting in the library for five hours straight starting to hit her. When her lids separated, they caught another flash of a text.

So, um, I kinda see you. At least I think that’s you. Can you see me?

Asami glanced around, seeing no one who looked like Korra in the room. She looked over her shoulder through the small window in the computer lab to find the Water Tribe girl staring at her, waving. Asami grinned and tried to return the favor, but Korra moved too quickly to see it.

Korra burst into the room and smiled. “Hi, Asami!”

To say she was taken aback was an understatement. She hadn’t noticed it in the flash of blue and brown that was Korra, but now that she was up close, it was all too apparent.

Korra had cut her hair.

Asami felt compelled to rise to greet her. So she did. “You cut your hair,” she half-asked, half-stated.

Korra threw a sheepish hand behind her head. “Haha, yeah. It got caught in some of the barbed wire during training today and I couldn’t get it out, so I just took my knife to it.” Korra adjusted the strap of her bag and looked around. “Hmmm, it doesn’t look like there’s much room here for me.” She brought her focus back to Asami, her face morphing into concern. “Is everything okay?”

She blinked several times, trying to put everything together that Korra had just told her. “Wait, _you_ cut your hair?”

“You already asked me that.”

She shook her head. “How much barbed wire did you get stuck in??”

Her cheeks flushed a very faint shade of pink as she looked away. “A lot.”

Asami reached around and ran her fingers through Korra’s hair, some parts longer than others, as if she had tried to even the bob out after the initial cut. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I really like it.”

The blush worsened. “You do?”

She nodded and lifted a piece up, just to watch it fall back to Korra’s head. “It looks really good on you.”

“Oh – I, uh… thanks,” she smiled, a nervous laugh escaping her. She was surprised she was even standing at all from the feelings that were crashing through her. Her quiet admiration of a few weeks ago had turned to full out, tumultuous feelings for the raven. She found herself daydreaming about Asami when they were apart. Bolin had told her _many_ times to “shut up about Asami already, I’m trying to study here!”. She thought about her more often than she would admit alone and it seemed as though each day they spent time together, Korra fell further and further into the loveliness that was Asami Sato.

And now she was touching her hair. Liking her hair. _Complimenting_ it.

Korra didn’t want to cut it, to be honest; it felt weird not having her warrior wolf tails. But there was no way in _hell_ she was going to let the others beat her out of the mud pit. So off it went. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t sure how Asami would like it, especially because she had to even it out after the fact; only two of her tails had gotten stuck in the wire, but she couldn’t walk around with one long chunk of hair on her right side and short for the rest. So she took her knife to the rest in the locker room, panicked, and sped-walked out before she had done more damage to her look. She even contemplated wearing a hat for a while until it grew back more.

But it was too _damn hot_.

She didn’t have to worry about it, though. Asami liked it. That’s all she needed.

Asami chuckled, knowing _exactly_ what Korra’s stuttering meant. “You’re welcome.”

Korra grinned and looked back to the somewhat-annoyed students around them who were trying to work through their commotion. Every seat that her eyes landed on was taken. She stretched her shoulders and brought her focus back to Asami, now that she wasn’t blushing anymore. “Wanna head somewhere else to study? It’s pretty packed in here.”

Asami hesitated. While she _really_ had to work on their system stimulation, she could use a change of scenery. Korra, of course, was a very good start to this change. She caved. “Sounds good. I can always come back later when it isn’t as busy and hop back onto one of the computers for the software I need.” She turned to her now-former work space and started packing her bag.

It was Korra’s turn to falter. “Hey, if you need to use the computer, I can always go study somewhere else –”

“No, this is good,” she mentioned over her shoulder as she saved her progress on her desktop and shut the computer down, “I really need a break from these screens, anyway.”

Korra smiled. “Good, because I know the perfect place we can go.”

Asami flung her bag onto her back and raised a brow. “Oh? And where is that?”

She smirked. “You’ll see.” She grabbed Asami’s wrist and tugged her along in excitement.

All Asami could do was laugh.

(-)

“Korra, are we going to The Gardens?”

“Nope.”

“Are you sure? Because this pretty much looks like The Gardens.”

Korra was quiet as they walked side by side, her hand still around Asami’s wrist. She had, indeed, wanted to take her to The Gardens, but she was tempted to change her plan now that Asami had caught on.

_How could she not? You didn’t even blindfold her or anything._

They passed through the park in the radiating sun. A group of shirtless runners passed them, their shorts _much_ too short for comfort. They both looked away and continued onward, Asami going wherever Korra was pulling her. While her entire body was hot from the warmth, the skin that was touching Korra’s was _burning_.

Korra led her past the entrance of The Gardens and stopped near the rows of colorful tulips and bushes of fragrant lilacs. She turned to Asami, a grin on her face. “We’re here! Well, for stop number one.”

“Stop number one?”

She nodded. “Stay here. I’ve got to grab a few things.” Korra scurried off, the curves of her muscles stark in her tight blue tank and short blue shorts.

Asami watched her with a mixture of amusement and confusion as Korra plucked several flowers from the lilac and mock orange bushes. She stopped and pondered before pulling off a single pink peony that was just starting to bloom, about half of its usual one-foot diameter. She returned with a smile, the flowers cradled in her hands.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to pick the flowers, Korra.”

“Shhhhh, no one has to know,” she looked around in exaggerated suspicion, slipping the flowers into one hand and grabbing Asami’s wrist with the other. She set off in a sprint, forcing Asami to run with her.

“Korra, where are we going,” Asami hollered between breaths; while she was in good shape, she was _nowhere_ _near_ Korra’s physical condition. She struggled to keep up.

“You’ll see,” Korra smiled, dragging the raven into the mountains that surrounded the park and the City. She had been here several times before – mostly on her own – though these weren’t the _exact_ hills that she liked to hike the most; she preferred the southern mountains instead of the eastern ones. Regardless, they were just what she needed to be spontaneous.

“Korra, can – can we slow… down,” Asami was panting, on the brink of falling down. They had run halfway up one of the trails. She noticed every foot she climbed as she fought for air. Korra didn’t even seem to be breaking a sweat.

“Oh, right! Sorry about that, Asami. I think I just got a little excited.”

“A _little_ ,” Asami half-chuckled, half-gasped as she rested her hands on her knees.

“Here, I have some water you can drink,” Korra fidgeted in her bag one-handed for a small bottle. She offered it to the engineer.

“Thanks,” she replied with a smile and guzzled the water down. After a few more minutes, she had stabilized and recovered. “Okay, let’s go. But let’s go _slow_ , okay? I want to enjoy this.” She grinned, throwing the now-empty bottle into one of the pockets of her bag.

“Okay,” Korra beamed back, though the expression was gentle. “We don’t have too much further to go.”

Korra led the way, her steps slow and careful, making sure it was a pace that Asami could mirror. They didn’t go all the way to the top; they just climbed to a high enough height to see the City and the park. Asami marveled at the view. She had never seen Republic City like this. She could see the many buildings that made up the City, the park they had just gone through, and if she squinted, she could see the shores of Yue Bay in the distance.

“It’s beautiful up here, Korra.”

She nodded in agreement and plopped down under a tree. Korra patted the spot next to her before pulling the ties of her bag open, the flowers beside her.

Asami smiled and joined Korra under the shade. It felt ten degrees cooler in the protection of the branches. She sat next to her and tossed her carrier to the side, watching with interest as Korra pulled several sandwiches and two large bottles of water from her bag. Her eyes narrowed. “You weren’t coming to the library to study at _all_ , were you?”

Korra chuckled. “Nope. You got me.” She handed Asami a sandwich. “Eat up. You tend to forget to eat when you’re studying in that damn library all day.”

Asami opened her mouth to disagree, but there was no lie in Korra’s statement. Her expression melted into a grin as she took the food. “Thank-you, Korra.”

“You’re welcome,” she replied as she leaned against the tree and unwrapped a sandwich of her own.

“So, what are we doing here? And what are the flowers –”

A ring of her phone interrupted her question.

Korra sat up in confusion as Asami fished for her device. “You get service all the way up here?”

“I guess so,” she shrugged, confused as to who could possibly be calling her. She didn’t recognize the number, but she answered it anyway. “Hello? Yes, this is Asami Sato, how can I help you?” Her face drained of emotion as the person on the other line spoke. She stood up, sandwich abandoned, and walked away from Korra as she listened.

Korra crawled to her feet and watched after Asami, helpless to do anything at the moment. The raven was too far away for her to hear the conversation that was taking place. She saw Asami nod several times, her hand shaking as it gripped her elbow. Once the dialogue was over, Korra called to her. “Is everything okay?”

Asami slid her phone in her pocket and hesitated for a minute. She faced Korra with a mixture of pure joy and pure sadness in her eyes.

“What’s wrong,” she asked as she closed the gap between them in just a few strides. She clasped the pale shoulders before her.

“That was a call from the University.”

“What was it about? Is everything alright?”

She nodded, a smile breaking through. “I got accepted.”

“Accepted into _what_?”

“I applied for an abroad study program a few months ago, but never heard from them until now. I – I got accepted.”

“Asami, that’s _awesome_! Where are you going? Is it for next semester?”

She nodded. “It’s a co-op. If I accept it, I’ll be studying in Republic City over the summer and going to the Fire Nation in the fall to train with their engineers.”

Korra was ecstatic, her grip on Asami’s shoulders radiating absolute excitement. “Asami, that is incredible! I’m so happy for you! I’m so _proud_ of you. And – wait.” She paused, reevaluating Asami’s words. “What do you mean ‘if you accept it’?”

This was when Asami looked away and the smile was overtaken by the grief that was hiding in her eyes. “I don’t know if I’m going to do it.”

“Why not? It would be an incredible experience!”

“I know it would, but it would mean leaving Republic City for a semester,” she locked onto the oceans before her, “and leaving _you_ for a semester.” She averted her eyes to this and held her elbows with her hands.

“Oh. I see what you mean.” Korra paused, trying to control the emotion in her voice. “But you should still do it. You should go to the Fire Nation and learn as much as you can. Don’t let the factor of whether I’ll be there or not hold you back.”

Their pupils met, Asami’s taking in the sincerity spewing from Korra’s.

Asami had to look away. “It’s – it’s more than that, Korra.” She broke from the woman’s grip and turned her back on Korra. “I would miss you… a _lot_.”

“I would miss you, too. But you should still do it. It’s an incredible opportunity.” Korra held Asami’s shoulders again, though her hold was loose this time.

“You were my first true friend here, Korra. I feel like we’ve just gotten to know each other, and now – now I’m leaving.” She faced Korra once more, tears threatening to breach her lids. “I don’t want to go. I like being here with you and talking to you and –”

“Asami,” Korra slid her palms across Asami’s cheeks and into her hair. “I’ll be here when you get back. And until then, we can keep in touch. I’m sure the Fire Nation has internet of some sort. I’ll send you so many messages that you’ll have to block me when you’re trying to work or give presentations because my little face icon will keep popping up every five minutes that I’m not busy.”

Asami laughed to this, one of the tears falling down her skin.

Korra wiped it away with her thumb, prompting Asami to lock onto her eyes. “It’ll be okay. _We’ll_ be okay.”

She smiled and wrapped her arms around Korra, her heart full of elation from the comforting words.

They melted into each other, the quiet sounds of bugs and birds and the distant noises of Republic City filling their ears. The pair stayed like this for quite some time, the gentle breeze drying the sweat on their skin.

“Come on, let’s eat.” Korra pulled away, taking Asami’s wrist as she did so. She guided her back to the tree and plopped down, shoeing a fly away from her sandwich once she was settled.

Asami sat beside her and resumed eating her sandwich, a mixture of emotions and thoughts crossing inside of her.

They finished their meals in silence, enjoying the view and the company of the other as they did so. By the time they were done, Korra was leaning against the tree and Asami was leaning on Korra. They stared at the scenery until Korra’s eye caught the flowers she had gathered on her right.

“Oh, right! I forgot,” she pushed herself up, forcing Asami to sit up as well. She gathered the flowers and turned to Asami, smiling. “Can I?”

She raised her brow. “Can you _what_ ,” she asked as she wiped her brow of sweat for the umpteenth time.

“Help you cool down.”

Both of her brows lifted this time. “I don’t think I follow.”

“Here, I’ll show you.” Korra scooched closer so that her front was to Asami’s back. “Is it alright if I pull your hair tie out?”

Asami hesitated for a moment; she wasn’t fond of people touching her hair.

But this wasn’t people. This was _Korra_.

To this, she caved and nodded in agreement.

Korra smiled and took the elastic out as careful as she could. Asami’s hair fell out before her, the gorgeous raven locks free from their restraint. Korra took a moment to admire the beauty – and the softness – of Asami’s hair before separating it into different strands. She started weaving Asami’s hair as her mother had taught her to do back in the Southern Water Tribe many years ago. “You know,” she spoke in a low, gentle tone as she braided some of the lilacs into her current plait, “I just got my assignment for the summer. During the summer of our junior years, we work under an officer in the military to help us train for our positions in the United Forces after graduation, should we take them.” She placed the stem of a mock orange into another spot and weaved it in. “I’ve been assigned to work with Commander Bumi in Republic City.” She focused on the other side of Asami’s head, mimicking the pattern from her previous work.

Asami probably would have jumped up in joy if she wasn’t stuck in a haze of relaxation. This wasn’t the first time that someone had braided her hair, but for some reason, Korra’s touch was just so… soft and gentle and calming. Enjoyable. She found her stress levels dropping and a minor warmth growing inside of her. She almost whispered her response. “What does that mean?”

“That means that, if you take your summer internship, we’ll get to spend the summer together.” Korra finished her intricate design, ending it with the pink peony she picked last from The Gardens. Asami’s hair was woven in an almost crown-like fashion from the sides, which joined together and trailed down her back, ceasing with her elastic band.

And Korra had been right on both fronts; they _would_ get to spend the summer together, even if that meant not seeing each other in the fall. The second thing? This braided hairstyle was _definitely_ much cooler than her somewhat-messy ponytail had been.

She turned to the Water Tribe girl, a gentle smile and excitement shadowed by ease in her eyes. “I would really like that.”

Korra smiled and caressed her cheek. “Good. Then you should take that co-op abroad experience.”

“And we’ll keep in touch?”

“Of _course_ we will.”

Asami grinned and melted into Korra, snuggling up to her side in her new-found comfort. “Is that why you brought me here? To tell me about your assignment?”

Korra wrapped one of her arms around Asami’s shoulders while the other one was complacent on the ground. “Actually, no. It wasn’t.”

“What was the reason, then?”

She took a breath, her heart jumping inside of her chest. While she had thought and planned this, conjured every detail and ran them by both Bolin _and_ Naga, she was blanking on everything she wanted to say.

“Korra?” Asami sat up, pulling herself from Korra’s arm as she did so. “What is it?”

A blush crossed her cheeks; she _knew_ she should have brought this up before weaving Asami’s hair. Her features shined with the scenery, from her face to her toes and back, and the beauty of her hair wasn’t helping matters. Korra straightened off the tree and struggled for air. She caught Asami’s scent and it nearly suffocated her. She looked away as she spoke, losing any amount of smoothness she might have had during her rehearsals with Naga. “I, uh – well… I – two months ago was when we first went to The Gardens together. I – I wanted to celebrate. And I wanted to show you one of the peaceful spots I liked since you showed me yours. And then, I thought ‘I can really impress her with the weaving mom taught me, and I could put some of the flowers from The Gardens in there, and I can make her a picnic since that’s what we did back then’ but then I couldn’t find any jasmine for tea and I almost ran out of peanut butter and I almost _forgot_ the food because I was trying to think of how I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend, but then Naga barked and reminded me about the food on the counter and –”

“Korra, Korra, wait. Slow down. You were going to ask me to be your girlfriend?”

She froze, her heart sinking instead of skipping a beat. Had she blurted that out in her panicked explanation without realizing it? Her flushed skin deepened in color. She peaked at Asami, a sheepish hand behind her head. “I… yeah, I was. But then I wasn’t sure if you wanted to with the whole ‘long distance’ thing or if you liked me like that and I really wanted you to go on that abroad internship experience because it’s a great opportunity and –”

Asami interrupted Korra’s doubtful rambling with a gentle kiss on her cheek. Just a quick peck, just enough to help Korra relax and ease from her self-induced torture.

“I – Asami?”

“I would _love_ to be your girlfriend, Korra. If you still want to be.”

Her famous crooked grin covered her face. She pulled Asami closer into a tight hug. “Yes! Of _course_ I do!”

Asami giggled and returned the affection in an embrace until Korra departed.

“I can’t believe it. Asami Sato is my _girlfriend_.”

She laughed once more. “Not many people get to say that, so relish the words.”

“Oh, I _will_!” Korra squeezed her again until her back was touching the tree once more.

They separated and stared into each other’s eyes, the sun starting to hang low in the sky. Asami was sitting on Korra’s lap, though the action was unintentional; it was just where she had ended up when Korra released her. She took in the warm air and smiled. “Want to watch the sunset?”

“ _Absolutely_ ,” Korra grinned, adjusting her position so that she was more comfortable against the tree.

Asami slid off of Korra and nestled into her side once more, resting her head on Korra’s chest.

Korra’s arm returned to her shoulders while the other fidgeted for her phone. “Can we take a picture together?”

“Of course we can,” Asami chuckled as she smiled up at the camera. She held her position until Korra finished taking about three photos. “My hair looks beautiful, by the way. You did a really good job,” she commented as she snuggled more into the Water Tribe girl that was holding her.

Korra blushed. “Thanks.” Her grin was gentle as she shoved her phone back into her pocket. She looked down at Asami, content in her position. Her free hand found one of the engineer’s. They laced their fingers together and stared out to the sun, waiting for it to begin its colorful descent. Elation and peacefulness filled them and at this moment, they had never felt so happy, so at ease. By the time the sun had fallen and the stars started to poke out of the darkness, they were slumped over in sleep. They stayed that way until the bugs of the incoming summer started chirping into the night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of the fluff. All of the time. *heart*


	3. Internet Girlfriends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Just wanted to take a moment to say thank-you for taking the time to read this. I hope you've been enjoying the story so far. ^_^ 
> 
> Also, as a side note, this chapter has some smut in it.

Bolin snuggled up in his coat as he made the long walk to Korra’s place. They were planning on studying for their midterms together, since Korra had already been through the ROTC classes that Bolin was “somehow struggling in”, as Korra liked to call it. He sighed and pulled his collar up to another late-autumn chill. He didn’t remember the walk being so far away. He groaned as he hit another intersection, waiting for the automobiles to pass through. After the road was clear, he hustled across and shivered his way down the street.

_You’d think you’d be used to the cold already. You’ve been living here your whole life!_

_Hey, it’s cold today. What can I say?_

He rubbed his elbows and continued on, climbing the steps two at a time. He pounded on the door and heard something slide inside. “Korra?” He twisted the knob. Luckily, it was unlocked. He stepped in with caution until he saw the sight before him. A ladder was overturned on the ground. A barking Naga was nearby, directing her howls upwards. He followed her line of sight to find a struggling Korra hanging from what looked like her internet router. “Korra?! What are you doing??”

She opened her mouth to reply when the screws in the router frame failed. Korra plummeted to the ground, router and pulled wires in her hands. She cursed as she sat up; she could already feel the bruise forming on her hip where she landed.

Bolin shut the door and rushed over. “What the hell happened?”

“I was trying to fix this _stupid fucking router_!” She tossed it against the wall, effectively breaking it into several large pieces from the force.

“Spirits, Korra. Calm down. What’s going on?”

“Bo, you of all people should know _not_ to tell me to calm down when I’m fucking upset.”

“Okay, okay,” he threw his hands up in a defensive position. “Do you want to go hit the bags or run or something?”

“ _No._ I _want_ to talk to _Asami_.”

“Ohhh, that’s what this is about.” He stepped closer and glanced at the hole in the ceiling. “Internet problems?”

Korra crossed her arms over her chest from her sitting position on the ground. “This is the third time this week that it’s conked out. I’ve called IT and maintenance twice to get it fixed.”

“Well, it looks like you’ll have to call them a third time,” he chuckled, trying to make light of the situation.

She couldn’t help but laugh at this. “I suppose it’ll take a lot more explaining than ‘it won’t connect to my computer’ for this one.”

“And a lot more _money_ ,” Bolin responded as he offered Korra a hand.

She groaned as he pulled her to her feet; she didn’t have enough cash as it was, despite getting a scholarship from the ROTC program each year. That, and her hip was _really_ throbbing. “Thanks, Bo.” She rubbed her injury with light pressure. “I’ve got to go ice this.”

He nodded and followed her into the kitchen, Naga on their heels. He shed his coat and leaned against the counter as Korra prepared an ice bag. “Did my knock scare you off the ladder?”

“No, no. You’re fine.” It was a lie. The thud _had_ , in fact, been what frightened her into losing her footing. Not that she was having much progress fixing the damn router light anyway. She winced as she applied the ice and let out an audible sigh. “It’s been a week since we’ve gotten to see each other, Bo.”

“You mean through the computer.”

She shot him an obvious look. “ _Yes_ , that’s what I mean. She’s all the way in the Fire Nation right now, of _course_ it would be through the computer!” She flailed her free hand up in frustration, following it up with another sigh. “Sorry. I don’t mean to lash out at you. I just –”

“You miss her. I know. It’s all you ever talk about.” He stretched his arms above his head and yawned. “Are we going to get to studying or not?”

“Yeah, yeah, let me just message Asami on my phone and let her know that I won’t be able to video chat with her tonight.” She limped over to her phone in the other room and plopped on the couch, her anger clear on her face. “First, her internet signal is really weak, so the video doesn’t come in all that well and it gets all pixelly and grainy and laggy. Now, she fixes her internet and _mine_ starts to act like shit.” Korra called out to Bolin as she tapped her finger violently on her touch screen. “What the _fuck_!?” Within a second of Bolin entering the room, a phone whizzed by his face. It, too, crashed into the wall. Lucky for Korra, her case prevented it from shattering.

“Korra, you really need to just breathe.”

“My phone fucking froze, too. _What is going on with all of my technology?_ ”

“Maybe there’s a technological apocalypse that we don’t know about. Airplanes dropping from the sky, routers not working, laptops smoking for no reason,” he joked, trying to get Korra to calm down. When that didn’t work, he tried a different approach. “Korra,” Bolin sat beside her, but not within “affectionate bruise” range in case this worked, “I know you miss Asami, but destroying all of your electronics is not going to up your chances of communicating with her when she’s halfway across the world.”

Korra sighed and sunk into the couch. “Yeah, I know. It’s just… frustrating.”

“You _were_ the one who egged her on into going –”

“Yeah, well I didn’t know I would miss her _this_ much.” She pouted.

“You’ve made it halfway through the semester so far. You’ve only got a few more weeks to go and Asami will be in your arms again.” He pushed himself up and wandered over to Korra’s phone. He grabbed it and held two buttons down, resetting the frozen device. “Here,” he handed it to Korra, “try messaging Asami again.”

She exhaled and took the phone from him. “Thanks, Bo.” She stared at the white screen until it finished resetting. A smile crept on Korra’s face when she saw her lock screen; it had been the photo she took on the mountain the evening that Asami agreed to date her. It was one of her favorite pictures of them together, which is saying something considering she loved _all_ of their pictures. She typed in her code and was greeted by a notification. “Asami messaged me,” Korra murmured as she tapped it open.

Hey, are you going to be online tonight? I finally got an Ethernet chord, so my computer should run a lot faster now in video chat.

Korra sighed, her heart heavy as she typed her response.

                I can’t. I kinda… broke my router… heheh

You broke your router?

                Yeah. I got frustrated because it wasn’t working again.

Red light?

                Mmhmm

Did you try to reset it?

                I did. I was up on the ladder trying to reach the button in the back when Bolin knocked on the door and…

And?

                He scared me with the knock and the ladder fell out from under me. Then I fell with the router that couldn’t support my weight.

Oh no! Are you okay?

                Yeah, I’m alright. Fucked up my hip a little bit, so I’ve got some ice on it.

Spirits. With that and your shoulder injury… please try to be more careful. I would like to come back to an intact girlfriend, not one in pieces.

Korra laughed.

                I only hurt my shoulder from our swimming drills.

It’s still hurt, though.

                Yeah, yeah.

Smh

You’re a dork

                Nuhuh, YOU’RE a dork

I’m pretty sure you are

                I

“Bolin, what are you doing?!” Korra jumped up to her feet as Bolin stole her phone from her hands. He laughed as he ran away, trying to type as he did so. “Bolin, _give me my phone_.”

Korra? Is everything okay over there?

                Oh, Asami. I licr tou so mu

Korra?

“Bolin, this isn’t funny. _Give me my phone_ ,” she demanded as she tackled him to the ground, ignoring the pain in her side as she did so. She wrestled with him, eventually twisting his arm behind his back, her hands on his wrist and elbow. “Phone. Now.”

“Okay, okay, you win.” He released the phone with a strained chuckle.

Korra let him up with reluctance, hobbling to the couch with her device in hand. “You can study your _own_ damn classes.”

“Aww, come on, Korra. I was just having some fun.”

She pouted as she brought the screen back up.

                Sorry about that. Bolin thought it would be funny to steal my phone.

Did you beat him up?

Korra laughed, eyeing Bolin as he scrambled to his feet, rubbing his arm in the process.

                Not quite. Just twisted his arm back.

No affectionate bruises?

She chuckled.

                Nope, not this time lol. I’m supposed to help him study but now I won’t

Aww that’s not very nice

                He took my phone and made me run after him! My hip hurts even more now.

Smh get that ice back on it!

                Will do.

Korra reached over and grabbed the ice bag from the floor. She put it on her hip and rolled to her uninjured side, ignoring Bolin while he pulled his books from his bag, pouting as he did so.

“Move your feet so I can sit.”

She scrunched up into a ball until Bolin was seated. Korra slid her feet onto his legs before he could put his books there. He protested in an exaggerated, playful way, but Korra disregarded it.

                Don’t worry, I’m gonna help him. I’m just gonna make him sweat a little.

Lol, yeah, he kinda deserves it a little bit. But only a little. Bolin is a sweet guy.

                That he is. So what have you been up to today?

Oh, just up to my ears in work, as usual. I thought the university in Republic City was bad. The Fire Nation gives out double the homework!

                That’s gross. Homework is no fun.

Agreed. How have you been?

                Alright. Just trying to get through my last year of advanced training without too many injuries.

How are classes?

                Annoying.

Hard?

                Extremely. I’ve been bombing a lot of my quizzes in my advanced invertebrate anatomy class. And biochemistry is really tough.

Awww, I wish I could help in some way.

                Nah, it’s alright. I’ll get it somehow. Someday…

                I miss you, Asami.

“Hey, Korra. When they say ‘ENFJ’, what do they mean?”

She glanced up over her phone to see the book he was studying from. “It’s the Myers Brigg personality test. Didn’t they go over that in class?”

He shook his head. “We didn’t get that far today. We’re a few classes behind after the trainer got food poisoning.”

Korra’s phone flashed a notification. “Right, right,” she replied absentminded as she looked back to the screen.

I miss you, too. The people in the Fire Nation Academy are a bit too friendly.

                What do you mean?

Some of the guys keep asking me to go out to dinner or a show with them. I always tell them I’m not interested, but some of them are persistent. I had to punch one of them in the face because he tried to touch me.

Korra had a mixture of worry and pride on her face.

                Good. They deserved it. Nobody touches you without permission. Just be careful. If you need me to, I’ll come down there and punch him in the face personally.

Haha, no, that’s okay, I can handle myself. I’ve got it all under control. He hasn’t bothered me since then. Most of them haven’t. It’s nice, actually. Gives me a chance to focus on my studies.

                I hope you’re at least doing some sightseeing and making friends who aren’t assholes instead of living in the library.

I don’t always live in the library.

                95% of the time.

“Apparently, I’m an E-N-T-P. Is that a good thing?”

“None of them are better or worse than the others,” Korra responded, not looking up from her phone, “they just mean you have different traits than other people. You get along better with different people than, say, an ESTP would.”

“What’s an ESTP?”

“ _Me_ ,” Korra replied, blowing a loose piece of her hair out of her face.

“We get along well, though! Unless you’re still mad at me…”

She smiled, “Nah, I’m not mad at you anymore.”

“It’s because you’re talking to Asami, isn’t it?”

She ignored him as she waited for Asami’s response.

I suppose you’re right. I do spend a lot of time in the library. I’m just more comfortable there. People tend to bug me less.

                Have you made any friends?

Sorta. I have a few people in my project group that I chat with and get lunch with, but that’s about it. I think they see me more of a mom than a friend.

                That’s because you’re good at being there for people. You look out for them.

Yeah, true.

But I miss you.

                I miss you, too. You’ll get to see me soon, though. Just a few weeks!

Exactly! I’m excited to come back to Republic City. The Fire Nation is cool and all, but I miss home. And I miss the food! The food here is a bit too spicy for me.

                Haha, I can only imagine. Have you tried fire flakes yet?

I had about four and started watering.

Korra giggled and readjusted her position on the couch, stretching her feet out more onto Bolin as she did so.

                I understand. I’m not great with hot food, either, though you know me, I’ll eat almost anything lol.

That’s very true. Like the time you ate an old noodle from the table just because Bolin dared you to do it.

                It was the easiest ten yuan I had ever made!

Smh. You’re a dork.

                But I’m YOUR dork

Yes, yes you are.

Korra smiled.

                And you’re my dork. My library inhabiting, low-spice tolerant, engineer genius dork.

Hahaha. That’s all pretty true, especially the spice part. I’ll probably be avoiding hot food for the rest of my life lol

But it’s no matter. The only hot food I need is you.

A deep blush covered Korra’s cheeks. She tried to hide it from Bolin, but she was pretty sure she failed to do so.

It’s a shame that your internet isn’t working. I’ve got this new bra that I've wanted to show you all week…

The reddening worsened. A small pulse radiated between her legs as she bit her lip.

                Pic?

Lol you know the rules.

Korra sighed.

                Yeah, I know. No nudes or things like that unless it’s video.

:-)

I suppose it doesn’t help that I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.

                What do you mean?

Oh, you know…

                I don’t think I do

She paused for a moment.

                Oh. Oh!

Yeah, there’s a lot of that. ;-)

Korra curled into herself a bit, trying to hide her flustered look. The throb intensified at the thought of Asami thinking of her and…

                I wish it was me doing that stuff to you.

Don’t worry. Just a few weeks.

And then I’m all yours.

Every

Part of me

Korra licked her lips. She recalled the few times things got heated in the bedroom over their summer vacation together, towards the last few weeks they were together. And in all honesty, it was one of the things she missed the most. All of her attempts to do anything on her own just resulted in lackluster disappointment.

But _Asami_ , Asami was a _goddess_ when it came to making Korra squirm…

_And other things…_

And she did just that on the couch as she tried to think of a reply, suddenly very uncomfortable in her position.

Bolin glanced over the top of his book, shook his head, and returned to studying.

                Mmmm, I can’t wait.

What are you going to do to me?

Korra paused, glancing over the top of her phone as she did so. She slid her feet off of Bolin and sat up, avoiding his eyes as she did so. “I’ll be right back, Bo. I’ve gotta pee.”

He nodded, too focused on his work to give a verbal reply. Did he believe her? Only a little. If anything, he was expecting her to pretend to go to the bathroom but instead, sit on her bed and squeal like a preteen girl texting her crush.

_Well, it’s not that far off_.

They weren’t quite preteens and they weren’t quite texting. In fact, they weren’t quite crushes, either. They were two of-age adults messaging each other through the Internet (and cellular data, in Korra’s case), and they were _definitely_ in love. It wasn’t hard for Bolin to tell, and he’s usually oblivious when it comes to these kinds of social cues.

But after hearing Korra talk day in and day out about Asami, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together. So he dismissed Korra’s “bathroom break” and tried to focus on what personality types he got along with, as if this was really something he needed in his future career in social work.

Korra slid into the bathroom and locked the door. She sat on the edge of the tub, a sly smirk on her face.

                Anything you want me to do.

Hmmm, anything?

                Anything.

Would you kiss me?

                All over.

Where would you start?

Korra felt her breath grow shorter with every reply. The throbbing between her legs worsened.

                Your forehead while we cuddle. To show how much I missed you.

That’s so sweet!

                Not as sweet as you taste.

There was a long pause before Asami’s reply. She imagined the engineer biting her lip to her response.

You taste much better than I do. I would take you over fire flakes any day.

                Because I’m just as hot?

Even hotter.

Korra chewed on her lip again.

                Spirits, I miss you so much.

Yeah?

                Yeah.

How much?

                More than I’ve missed anyone before.

Enough to get you hot?

                I’m always hot.

Yes, you are.

Hmmm…

Korra paused. Her leg twitched. She tried to simmer herself down, almost considered abandoning her phone, but she just… couldn’t.

                Are you thinking about me right now?

Mmhmm.

                What about me?

Your muscles all around me.

Your hands trailing up and down my body.

Your tongue finding the spot in the nook of my neck, the spot that drives me wild.

“Fuck,” Korra whispered. Warmth spread between her thighs. She wished with all of her might that Asami was there with her right now. She closed her eyes for a minute, picturing everything Asami was messaging her.

                I want you so bad right now.

I want you, too.

I want to grind my hips against you.

And grab fistfuls of your hair.

                Fuck, Asami.

What?

                You’re driving me crazy.

Good. That was my intention.

                Gah, Bolin is right in my living room.

Are you in the living room right now?

                No, I’m in the bathroom.

Good. Then he won’t see you squirm from my messages.

Korra slid down onto the floor and tossed her head back until it hit the edge of the tub.

_Fuck. Why does she have to be so good at this?_

I wish I could see you, though.

And that you could see me.

I think you’d like what you’d see.

Korra tapped her foot on the ground, the warmth morphing to wetness.

_Fuck it._

She stormed out of the bathroom and into the living room, where Bolin was half-curled on the couch, nose deep in his studies.

“Korra?”

She ignored him and grabbed her laptop, her phone still in hand. She snatched her cable, avoided his eyes, and zipped out of the room.

This time, he heard her bedroom door close instead.

_I told ya._

                Get online. Now.

I am online?

                No. On video.

But your internet is broken.

                I’m making a hot spot on my cell phone.

Korra plugged her white cable into her phone and her laptop, activating the hot spot via USB.

Won’t that run your bill up?

                Nah, the cycle expires tomorrow. I’ve got some data to use.

                Besides, I don’t give a fuck about the bill right now.

I want to see you.

I bet you do.

;-)

Korra sprawled out onto her bed, lying on her stomach as she stared at the screen of her laptop. She watched the little icon in the corner as it tried to connect to Asami’s computer in the Fire Nation. She threw her ear phones in for safe measure – mostly so that Bolin wouldn’t hear anything.

A beep rang in her buds. Within an instant, Asami was on her screen, smiling back at her.

In nothing but a red and black lace bra, from what Korra could see.

Her cheeks flushed. Her heart raced. She was sure she drew blood from biting her lip.

Asami bent out of the screen and reappeared with headphones. She put them on and grinned at Korra. “Hi.”

Korra struggled for words. “H – hey.”

She giggled. “Do you like it?” She rolled her shoulders back and twisted her torso a few times.

Her eyes were glued to the screen, taking in what she could of her long distance girlfriend. The bra hiding the supple breasts she loved so much. The taut stomach that flashed occasionally into sight. The raven locks that bounced off of her as she turned, framing her face as if it were on stage. Her purple-shadowed lids were closed, her red lips stark against her pale skin.

All she could do was nod.

Asami opened her eyes and smiled. “I thought you would.” She rested her head in her palm, her elbow against her desk. “It’s really soft. I’m going to bring it with me when I come back to Republic City.”

“It won’t be on you for long.”

It was Asami’s turn to blush. She bit her bottom lip and twirled a strand of her hair with one of her fingers. “Oh, really?”

Korra nodded, sliding closer to the screen as she did so.

“And do you plan to take it off of me?”

She bobbed her head again.

“And what if I,” she danced her hands behind her back as she spoke in a sultry tone, “beat you to it?”

Korra watched in awe as Asami’s breasts lowered just a bit from each sever of the clips that held her bra in place. Her heart raced. There was a well-defined wetness and warmth between her legs, the pulsing begging her to act on it.

Asami slid each of the straps down, keeping the bra in place with her hands.

“Fuck, Asami,” Korra muttered, her body still in anticipation.

She giggled and picked the laptop up so that only her face was visible. She walked it over to her bed, the Ethernet cable reaching it with ease. Asami set it down so that it faced the wall.

Korra stared at her screen with intent. She saw a flash of the bra from above until it plummeted onto the unseen ground.

The camera shook as Asami crawled onto the bed and settled. When she turned the laptop around, her chest and torso were covered with a sheet, a mischievous grin on her face.

Korra’s face faltered just a bit.

_Dammit, Asami._

“Aww, what’s wrong? Not what you were expecting?”

Korra pouted. “You’re such a tease.”

“Oh, am I?” Asami almost moaned as she slid a hand down behind the sheet, taunting Korra. “Mmmm, I certainly _am_ a tease.” She bit her lip while her fingers snaked down between her legs. “Though I think the only thing I’m teasing right now is myself.”

Korra forgot how to breathe. She was on fire, the throbbing below overwhelming her.

“Mmmm, don’t you want to join me, Korra? It feels so _good_.”

She chewed on her lip, trying to resist her girlfriend. Unfortunate for her, Asami knew all of Korra’s buttons and just how to push them and when and in what order and how hard or soft or –

Korra gripped the sheets so that Asami couldn’t see. But she knew in actuality that it didn’t matter; Asami pretty much knew everything when it came to picking up on Korra’s signals.

“I wish this was your hand between my legs,” she whispered as sultry as she could, her hand sliding out from its hiding place. It wasn’t hard for Korra to see the shiny slickness on her skin. “And _you_ on my fingers,” she licked each of her tips one by one before popping them into her mouth.

Korra’s body jerked. She was losing control. But she wasn’t craving her own touch; her own touch would lead her nowhere. If anything, she was craving _Asami’s_. She opened her mouth to reply when a pound on the door startled her.

_ Fucking hell! _

Asami had heard the pound too and automatically shriveled out of the screen in embarrassment.

Korra ripped her ear buds out and jumped off of her mattress, her legs a bit wobbly from her… _situation_. She pulled the door open with an-almost-look-of-death on her face. When she saw Bolin recoil from her expression, she pulled back. “Oh, hey, Bo. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna head home to study.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I figured we could meet up again and you could help me when you’re not… _occupied_ ,” he glanced over her shoulder at the laptop on Korra’s bed, knowing full well she was talking to Asami.

Korra threw a sheepish hand behind her head. “I’m sorry about that, Bo. I – uh –”

“I know. You miss her.” His tone was half-teasing, half-sincere. He shot her a wink and slung his bag over his shoulder. “You two have fun tonight. But it’s you and me tomorrow, Korra. Or else I might fail my midterm.”

“Right, right, of course! I’ll meet you at the library, bright and early, okay?”

“Let’s make it around noon. I don’t want to get up early.”

Korra laughed as she ushered Bolin to the door without words or gestures. “Alright, noon it is.” She pulled the door open and waited for Bolin to step out. “I’ll see you then.” She waved for a brief moment before shutting the door and locking it.

Bolin shook his head and sighed. “Lovebirds,” he murmured to himself.

Korra leaned against the door and exhaled in relief. She rushed back to her bedroom, ignoring the lights and the curious dog that was following her. “Not now, Naga,” she muttered. She closed her bedroom door and crawled back up to her bed.

Asami peered into the corner of the screen, her cheeks bright pink. “Is he gone?”

Korra pulled her ear buds from the jack in her computer. “It’s just you and me, now.”

“Good.” Asami whispered as she climbed back into sight. She was dressed in pajamas now, the solid purple fabric cascading from her torso to her shoulders, where it changed into a light sheer instead. She rearranged the laptop so that it was beside her in the bed, where a second pillow could have fit at the head. She lay next to the computer and wrapped her arms around a mess of sheets.

“He kinda ruined the mood, didn’t he?”

“It’s not his fault. He didn’t know that we were… _you know_ …”

Korra blushed and threw a sheepish hand behind her head. “Haha, yeah…” She averted her eyes in embarrassment.

“Your hair is growing back,” Asami murmured, getting comfortable on the bed.

“Yeah, it is. I figured it would help keep me warm during the winter.”

Asami chuckled. “Good idea.”

Korra looked back to the screen and smiled. “Are those fire lilies on your dresser?”

She glanced over her shoulder and grinned. “Yes, they are. I picked them in a field not too far from campus when I went on a walk.”

Korra smirked. “I thought you weren’t supposed to pick the flowers, Miss Sato.”

Asami laughed. “Don’t worry, no one saw me. And no one has to know. Besides, I got them because they reminded me of you.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because they are this burning red-orange color, almost like the sun itself. And, well –”

Asami was interrupted by a scratching and howling against Korra’s door.

“Hang on, Asami,” Korra squirmed from her mattress. She twisted the nob and a bolting Naga pushed right past her. She hopped onto the bed and barked at the sight of Asami.

“Hi, Naga! I miss you! Have you been a good girl for Korra?”

Naga yipped and walked around in a circle.

“If you can’t tell, she misses you, too,” Korra chuckled as she wedged her way back onto the bed. She adjusted her laptop as well so that it was in the empty pillow space next to her head. “Come here, Naga. You can lay with me and talk to Asami for a while.”

Naga shook her fur and legs out before collapsing half-on Korra, half-next to her.

Korra wiggled around until she could see the computer screen again.

Asami’s eyes were filled with a happiness and longing that couldn’t be matched. She wanted to be beside Korra and Naga as she had been throughout much of the summer. She wrapped herself in the sheet to feel some sort of comfort and yawned. “You look tired, Korra.”

“I always look tired,” she chuckled as a response. She, too, stretched her limbs out and curled up into Naga. She stared into Asami’s eyes, falling into a deep trance from their beauty. “Asami,” she whispered, her heart fluttering to the thought.

“Yes?”

“I – I love you.”

Asami smiled, the motion gentle but full of joy. “I love you, too, Korra.”

They reached out to the screen at the same time, touching their fingers together. They slid their hands to the side, fingers still in faux connection, until they were no longer in contact. A sigh escaped each of them as their lids wavered, the last sight before they fell into a deep sleep being the one they missed so much. Their thoughts were filled with memories, but they couldn’t make up for the distance between them.

Soon, they would be together again, and even in their sleep, they felt this ache.

At least they could be close to each other in their dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh the cuteness.


	4. Lips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains a lot of smut. If that's not your thing, click the end notes to see a summary of what happens in this chapter.

Asami straightened out her dress in the mirror, making sure everything was in place. Her hair was loose as it cascaded past her bare shoulders. There were two layers of red fabric to her garment – one light and one dark – which cinched together at her waist due to a deeper red-colored belt. It flowed much like her hair did, the sheer red shawl-like sleeves around her back and upper arms completing the look. She took a gold chained, red-stoned necklace from the dresser beside her and clasped it on. She slid a golden cuff onto each of her wrists, matching both the necklace and the loops of her dress to bring her outfit together. She had picked most of this up at the Fire Nation during her time abroad; red was very much her color, and the Fire Nation was most _definitely_ filled with red and gold garb of all shapes and sizes.

She leaned closer to the mirror as she applied a fresh coat of ruby red lipstick, her “trademark style” – as she liked to call it. She spun one last time, ensuring every detail was perfect, when she heard her phone ping.

Asami rushed over to the bed and read the text.

Hey, Asami, I’m here!

            Okay, I’m coming!

Asami crossed her room and stopped at the mirror one last time, checking over everything once more. With a smile and a wink, she slipped through the doorway and over to the entrance of her apartment. Everything was clean and spotless, just as she liked it. The evening was upon them. There was food warming in the oven. She even set the table with candles and imported sake from the Fire Nation.

_Well, “imported”._

In other words, she had snuck it with her on the plane. It wasn’t a big bottle, but _Spirits_ , it was powerful. And in case it wasn’t enough, she also had a bottle of her favorite red wine from the groves on the eastern border of the United Republic of Nations. She scanned her apartment in her peripherals as she approached the door, and just as she had planned it, everything was perfect.

_Tonight is going to be a good night._

She twisted the nob and pulled the door open. A smile and a burning blush covered her face at the sight of Korra, who was wearing a long sleeve, white button up shirt with a dark blue, pinstripe vest over it. It was tight against her skin, showing off her curves without a hint of fault. Her pants matched her vest in color and design. Her hair was pulled back into a single tail, which was unusual for her; Asami was more accustomed to seeing Korra in her three wolf tails or with hair too short to tie back.

Not that Asami was complaining. If anything, she thought Korra was absolutely _beautiful_ in this outfit.

_Sexy is more like it._

Her flushed cheeks deepened, but lucky for her, she wasn’t the only one staring agape at the woman before her.

Korra was in very much the same state, any ounce of smoothness and planning on her face completely gone at this point. There was a hand behind her back, though it hung low with her other one. She eyed Asami up and down, admiring every inch of her. Her outfit. Her hair. Her eyes. But most of all, she stared at her lips, those ruby red wonders that she had missed so much.

“You – you look _beautiful_ , Asami –”

Before Korra could finish, Asami’s arms were around her. “You do, too,” she whispered, biting her lip after her reply.

“Thanks,” Korra embraced her back, careful to keep whatever was in her hand a secret from Asami. “I’ve missed you. I’m so glad you’re back.”

“Me, too,” she responded as they departed, eyes locking. It had been a whole semester since they saw each other in person, and the day Asami touched back down in Republic City, Korra wanted to see her. The feeling was mutual, of course. So Asami planned a nice dinner at her place, where they could sit in quiet and just enjoy each other’s company again.

“I don’t know what you’re making, but it smells delicious!” Korra beamed, slowly coming down from her frozen internal stuttering.

Asami mimicked her expression. “Thanks! I made one of your favorites.” She gestured Korra inside and closed the door.

“Oh? And what’s that?” Korra challenged playfully, still keeping her present hidden behind her back.

Asami stepped closer to her, moving in a seductive manner until Korra was against the wall. She ran her fingers across Korra’s cheeks, holding her jaw in place. “Oh, you know…” she whispered, an inch away from Korra’s ear.

Korra flushed, almost dropping the gift in her hand. She shuddered in anticipation and shut her eyes. “Is it you?”

Asami giggled, successful in her taunting. She pulled away as she laughed. “Nope. It’s arctic hen,” she continued as she left the hallway and entered the dining room where the table was set.

Korra blinked several times as she descended from her high. The heat inside of her simmered, though it didn’t go away completely as her eyes caught Asami’s back and rear during her exit.

She shook her head and trotted behind Asami, a goofy grin on her face. Her smile widened when she saw the table set before her. “Wow, Asami. Everything looks so nice and elegant. I think I should have dressed fancier than this,” she chuckled, feeling very inadequate in her outfit.

“Nonsense,” Asami turned and crossed back over to Korra. She fiddled with her vest as she spoke. “You look adorable,” she smirked at her, winking before she left the room.

Korra was a puddle of gushy, blushy messiness.

_This is how I’m going to die, isn’t it? This is how I go. I’m not going to survive this night._

She tugged on her collar a bit, feeling much too warm much too quickly. She followed Asami into the kitchen and reveled at the smells leaking from the oven. It had, indeed, been arctic hen, and she had no idea how Asami managed to get it; the bird was native to her home in the Southern Water Tribe and even _then_ , it was a delicacy. “How in the world did you get arctic hen?”

Asami smiled. “I have my ways,” she replied over her shoulder as she slipped oven mitts on and pulled the hen from the oven.

Korra could tell by its color that it was cooked to perfection. Her mouth watered; she could hear the skin crisp in whatever oils or fats Asami used to roast it in.

She set it on the stove and uncovered several sides: noodles that were in some sort of yellow sauce, mixed-veggie dumplings, and a small bowl of soup, though she couldn’t quite tell what was in it.

It wasn’t the custom Water Tribe sides that went with arctic hen, but Korra didn’t care; it had been years since she had had arctic hen. She would take any sides thrown at her if it meant getting a piece of that breast. “I don’t know how you did all this or when you got to be such a good cook, but everything looks _delicious_ Asami,” she crossed the kitchen and wrapped her free arm around Asami’s waist.

Asami grinned. “I had a bit of practice in the Fire Nation. I had to cook a lot of my meals on my own since their food was too spicy,” she chuckled and brushed a piece of her raven hair behind her ear. She rotated so that she was facing Korra’s front. Her forearms rested on Korra’s shoulders, her eyes getting lost in the oceans before her. A small grumble of her stomach reminded her of what she was doing before she got distracted by her beautiful girlfriend. She turned away and grabbed one of the pans of food. “Can you help me bring the dishes in or is your hand still preoccupied with whatever you’ve got hiding behind your back,” Asami smirked as she walked past Korra into the dining room. She placed the arctic hen in the center of the small table and returned to a blushing Korra.

“How – how do you know?”

“Because I haven’t seen that hand since I’ve opened the door,” she giggled as she grabbed two smaller plates of sides. “All that’s left is the soup. I think you can get that with one hand, if you still want to keep your surprise a secret.”

Korra watched her leave the room and grumbled inside.

_Dammit, Asami. You’re so observant._

She grabbed the bowl and smirked.

_That’s okay; you’re not the only person who can get things imported._

She joined Asami at the table and placed the soup down. She took the spot across from her _without_ revealing the gift behind her back. She set it on the ground as gentle as she could before returning to her empty plate, a sly smile on her face.

“You’re going to make me wait now, aren’t you?”

Korra nodded, her expression showing a hint of mischievousness.

Asami chuckled. “Alright, it’s your surprise, so you can show me when you want.” She picked up a knife to cut into the hen. “Let’s eat!”

Korra mimicked her excitement and dug into the food. They split the portions up evenly and spent more time eating than they did talking. It wasn’t due to the fact that they had nothing to say to each other; they had _plenty_ to talk about and catch up on after a semester apart. No, they were silent because their mouths were full of delicious food and their hearts were content with everything around them. Asami opened her warmed bottle of sake and poured them each a glass. By the time they finished their meal, they were onto the red wine, each a bit more-than-tipsy despite how much food they ate.

They sat across from the table and stared at each other, stuffed and satisfied from the first meal they shared together since Asami’s return. It was at this point that they realized they were _much_ too far apart from each other; the table was small enough, but it wasn’t _close_ enough, either.

“Wanna sit on the couch,” Asami asked with a gesture of her head to the living room.

“Sounds good to me. You go first, I’ll follow in. I want to show you my surprise,” Korra responded in pieces, a tad bit tipsier than Asami. While they had consumed the same amount of sake, Asami definitely held her liquor better than Korra.

“Alright,” Asami grinned, having forgotten about Korra’s secret surprise. She pushed herself to her feet and took both her half full glass of wine and the bottle with her.

Korra followed shortly after with her own glass and the gift she had gotten for Asami. “Okay, are you ready,” she called from the entrance as Asami got comfortable on the couch.

“I’m ready.”

“Close your eyes,” Korra beckoned, taking a sip of wine afterwards.

Asami shut her lids and went so far as to cover her sockets with her hands. She listened as Korra approached. She heard a gentle tap of her glass on the coffee table, felt a plop beside her on the couch. Her nose was soon taking in a familiar scent, but she couldn’t _quite_ identify it in her buzzed state.

“Okay, Asami. Open your eyes.”

She did as she was told. Tears immediately swelled in them. “Korra – I – _how_?” Asami’s heart was elated as she stared at the flowers before her. They weren’t just _any_ flowers, though. They were roses. _Kormarter_ roses. Laced between them were small bunches of lilacs, mock oranges, and pink peonies. She took the bouquet with shaking hands and closed her eyes, inhaling each of their separate aromas as she did so.

“Oh, I have my ways,” she boasted, leaning against the back of the couch in as sly of a way as possible. “I hope you like them.”

“Korra, I _love_ them. And I love _you_ ,” she bent over to Korra and gave her a quick – but deep – kiss. It had been their first since she had gotten back, and _each_ of them felt the rush and sparks as if it were their first time all over again. “Where did you find flowers, especially _Kormarters_ , when everything is frozen over?”

“The magical power of the internet, Asami,” she chuckled, kissing her cheek after gaining her composure from their last one. “Apparently, Kyoshi Island has a lot of greenhouses and decent climate. Their boutiques manipulate the light and temperature and self-pollinate and what not – it all sounded very long and complicated on the phone. But _anyway_ , I searched around through like twenty different shops and finally found all of the flowers I needed. I had them shipped overnight so that they were as fresh as possible.”

“Oh, Korra. This is so sweet of you. I hope it didn’t cost too much.”

Korra flicked her hand. “I’ve been saving up for it. I’ve wanted to do it since you left in the fall, so I set money aside earlier in the year and –”

She was interrupted by another kiss, this one slightly messier than the first. Asami’s lips were intoxicating, even moreso than the sake. Korra was left a bit dazed when Asami departed.

“Korra, this is one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me. You even remembered my favorite flower. I only told you _once_.”

“Well, it was important to you. And what’s important to you is important to me.”

Her heart melted. How had she gotten so lucky to have a girlfriend as amazing as Korra was? She wanted to kiss her again, but there would be time for that later.

“I’m going to go put these in water. I think I’ve got a vase around here somewhere –” Asami jumped to her feet and half-jogged to the kitchen, smelling the flowers with each step.

Korra watched after her in a stupor, ecstatic that her gift went over well. She grabbed her wine glass and finished the last few sips that she had. She filled hers up and topped Asami’s off, emptying the bottle.

Asami returned with the flowers in a clear vase, the plastic around the bouquet gone. “They’re so beautiful, Korra. I love them so much.” She set them in the center of the coffee table and straightened them, still in awe.

_This was definitely worth waiting for._

She sat beside Korra and picked up her wine glass. “Filled me up, huh,” she chuckled as she took two large gulps.

Korra smiled and threw a hand behind her head. “You and me, both.”

“Let’s make a toast.” Asami held her glass up. “To us. To being friends, to being girlfriends, and to being in love.”

“And to being together again at last,” Korra added, stretching her arm out to reach Asami’s.

“To being together again at last,” Asami repeated, clinging their glasses together. She took another swig of her wine and smiled. “No more internet girlfriends and long distancing. I can actually see you in person now. I can touch your face and not just a screen.”

Korra finished her mouthful and chuckled. “I’m glad you made it back safely and that you’re here,” she inched closer, hoping Asami would follow through on touching her face. “I missed you so much, Asami.” Korra stared at Asami’s red lips, wanting nothing more than to kiss them. When Asami didn’t act, Korra took the initiative. She leaned forward and grazed her lips with her own.

Asami was breathless for a moment, a new sensation surging through her. She kissed Korra as soft as she could, her cheeks flushed both from her girlfriend and the alcohol. “I missed you, too,” she whispered when their lips no longer touched.

Korra smiled and sipped her wine again. “Tell me all about being in the Fire Nation. What was it like? Who did you meet? Did you do anything fun?”

Asami took a gulp to this, trying to take some of the edge off inside. She usually had better control over her emotions and desires, but the warmth growing inside her was too much to ignore. She shook her mental head and focused on Korra’s questions. “I met a bunch of people – mostly other students. I did get to see the Fire Lord, though. That was pretty cool.”

“You got to meet Fire Lord Izumi?”

“Not quite,” she admitted after another swig. “She spoke at the Academy, but I didn’t have any sort of one-on-one with her.”

Korra lowered her glass and swallowed. “Really? What was she there to speak about?”

“She wanted to address everything that’s been going on in the Earth Kingdom lately.”

Korra frowned and took a rather large gulp of her wine. “I’d been hearing about that a lot in my ROTC classes. Things have been escalating for three years now, ever since their monarch died.”

Asami nodded and sipped her wine. “Yeah, things have been getting worse there. A lot of people on campus had been uneasy with what was happening. I’m surprised you were even able to get any flowers from Kyoshi Island.”

She smiled. “Luckily, Kyoshi is ‘separate’ from the Earth Kingdom and much harder to conquer, in a sense. Still, though…” Korra looked into her half-full glass, sadness in her expression. “Kuvira needs to be stopped. She’s building an empire, just like Chin the Conqueror did centuries ago. I don’t know why the nations aren’t trying to stop her. People are suffering…” She shook her head and guzzled more of her wine, looking to force these thoughts out of her mind. She brought her attention back to Asami. It didn’t take long for her to focus on the woman’s ruby-lined lips again; it was one of her favorite parts of Asami. They were just so… beautiful, and perfect, and lovely. She narrowed her lids as she stared. The makeup on her face hadn’t smudged yet from their kissing.

Little did Asami know, Korra was looking to change that.

She chugged the rest of her wine and put the glass on the table. “But enough of that.” She slid her hands up to Asami’s shoulders and pulled her closer so that Asami’s knees were on the couch on either side of Korra, the rest of her balanced on Korra’s lap with her wine glass in hand. She ran her hands over to Asami’s hips and squeezed them. Their eyes locked, a mixture of love and slight intoxication in each. “Tell me more,” Korra murmured, her tone almost-sultry. “Tell me everything about your stay in the Fire Nation.”

Asami grinned and sipped more of her wine. Sparks flew throughout her as Korra clasped and massaged her hips; it was one of her favorite things. The warmth between her legs grew stronger. A mild pulsing began to thrum. She rested her forearms on Korra’s shoulders. “Well, I learned a lot about environmental and structural engineering. It was a nice change of pace from all of the industrial stuff I’d been doing. I met a few people. Stayed in the library most of my time there. Went on walks around the Academy, admiring the view. But something just didn’t feel right.”

Korra raised her brow. “What do you mean?”

Asami finished her wine and set it on the table behind her. She brought her focus back to Korra, staring deep into her eyes. She put her hands on each side of Korra’s face, cradling her jawline. “It felt empty. Lackluster. Because I brought my mind there, but I left my heart behind.” She leaned down and kissed Korra’s lips, missing their surprising softness and their taste now more than ever. She bit the Water Tribe girl’s bottom lip and pulled it as she departed. “I don’t intend on doing that ever again.” She gazed into the hazy oceans before her, the alcohol and lust and love getting to both of their heads. Asami locked onto her lips once more, the kisses increasing in passion and speed with each breath.

Korra tightened her grip on Asami’s hips, luring her deeper and deeper into their kiss. Their tongues met and tangoed. Their lips never stopped. Korra slid her fingers back to Asami’s rear and squeezed it.

This forced a muffled moan from Asami’s throat. Every inch of her that Korra touched sent her flying off of the deep end. The throbbing got worse. It didn’t take long for wetness to intermingle with the warmth between her legs. She rotated her hips, grinding them against Korra’s lap in as sexy and as satisfying of a manner as she could. She wanted to be touched, _needed_ to be touched, needed the friction to just rub against her until she was panting and moaning.

It had been much too long for her.

She ran her hands into Korra’s hair, clutching her scalp and skipping breaths. Her hips kept going. She pulled Korra towards her, their chests touching, their lips never close enough even though they were in full contact. She tangled the fingers of her right hand into the brown locks and balled her hand into a fist, forcing a gentle tug of Korra’s hair.

Korra groaned to this, a deep, primal moan that she had been holding back for too long. She had missed Asami, _dreamed_ about her, about being with her, just like this. And she wasn’t going to waste the opportunity.

She also wasn’t going to let Asami get away with how much she teased her while she was gone.

Before she could take another breath, Korra had lifted her off of the couch. She wrapped her legs around Korra’s waist by instinct alone, her hold on Korra’s head stronger to prevent her fall. Not that she really needed the protection; Korra was powerful and she carried Asami around like she was a mere sack of rice. She brought her to the nearest wall and pushed her against it, a bit forceful in her movement.

It was alright, though; Asami liked things rough and Korra knew her limits and boundaries. They had established a protocol long ago and whenever things got _too_ heated, they would stop for the night and do something else. But this shove into the wall only elicited a moan from Asami, the noise begging Korra to do more.

Korra held her up by her rear and massaged her cheeks. She closed any gaps that may have been between them but broke off the kiss.

Asami gasped for air but found herself breathless again as Korra started kissing her neck. The kisses turned into licks, the licks into nibbles. She moved from her neck to her earlobe, where she flicked her tongue over the edge. Asami let out a loud moan and squeezed Korra with her legs. She tilted her head, exposing more of her neck and skin. Her hands were buried in her hair, pulling Korra’s mouth closer and closer into her.

Korra moved down to the nook of Asami’s neck and sucked on the tender spot.

Asami lost her mind. She moaned Korra’s name and ground her hips against her. The throbbing had taken over. She was sure she had soaked her panties. But Korra still wasn’t close enough. She would _never_ be close enough. “Bedroom,” Asami panted, surprised she was able to form any coherent words in her stimulated state.

Korra refused her half-request, half-demand; she wasn’t done with her yet. She sucked on the spot again and bit down on it, pushing the envelope.

Lucky for her, this also drove Asami wild.

“Korra,” she whimpered, throwing her head back and pulling Korra more into her. Sweat formed on her brow. The pulsing was unbearable. She was sure she would explode from a single touch between her legs. She tried just that; one of her hands snaked its way out of the brown locks as Korra switched to the other side of her neck. She sucked on _all_ of this side now, knowing that this was Asami’s more sensitive side. Her hand froze in place, sparks and surges and waves flying through her. “Fuck, Korra,” she exhaled, trying everything she could to get Korra to just _touch_ her, touch her where she needed to be touched. She moved her fingers further south, trying to sneak a rub in.

Korra was having none of it.

She grabbed Asami’s defiant arm by the wrist and pinned it against the wall, using her other hand and her body weight alone to hold Asami up.

Asami whined. Her hips kept moving. “Please, Korra.”

“Please _what_ ,” she replied, the response muffled as her mouth was still against Asami’s skin.

“Take me to the bedroom.”

“Why?” She bit down on Asami’s collarbone, satisfied with the large trail of hickeys she left down Asami’s neck.

Asami bit her lip and exhaled, trying her damnedest to speak. “I want you to.”

“Want me to what?” Korra kissed her way to the bit of cleavage that was exposed from the cut of Asami’s dress.

“Take me to the bedroom,” she whispered, trying to lean her head down so that she could reach Korra’s ear. “Take me to the bedroom and _fuck me_.”

Without an ounce of hesitation, Korra lifted her up, freeing her hand from the wall. She carried her to the bedroom as requested and laid her out on the mattress. Korra kicked her shoes off.

Asami did the same.

She almost jumped onto the bed and crawled on top of Asami. She was hers, after all. Every. Single. Part of her.

Their lips met, Asami completely and utterly at Korra’s mercy. She wrapped her legs around Korra’s waist and held her jawline. “Touch me, Korra. _Please_.” She was expecting her to disregard her plead until she felt fingers slide between her legs. She gasped and arched her back to the sensation, her head thrown back to the absolute _wonder_ of Korra’s fingers against her clit. She didn’t even need to take off her dress or her underwear; this was enough for the level of turned on that she was. She rotated her hips against Korra’s hand, her legs unraveling and spreading wider against the mattress. It didn’t take long for her to feel the pressure building up inside of her. She was on the edge of orgasm when Korra’s mouth returned to her neck.

This was the final blow.

Asami felt a tightness in her feet as it all became too much. Every muscle in her body clenched, her nails scraping down Korra’s vest. She let out a loud moan as everything released, the throbbing turning into the rhythmic, body shaking pound of an orgasm. She moaned Korra’s name over and over again until her climax died out. Her legs loosened until they fell onto the sheets.

But Korra wasn’t done yet. Oh no; Korra was just getting started. Because Asami had returned; this was her first night back in Republic City and it was going to end with a bang.

_Or several of them._

She placed gentle kisses on Asami’s lips, signaling to her that she wanted more.

Asami obliged; she could take another. In fact, she _wanted_ another one. She let out a soft, whimpering sound, the pressure slowly starting to build back up inside of her.

Korra departed for a moment and sat completely still. She waited until Asami opened her eyes. She stared into the peridots and smiled. “I love you, Asami.”

She grinned. “I love you, too.”

Korra brushed a strand of hair that was stuck to Asami’s sweaty face and kissed her forehead. “Do you want to go again?”

“Absolutely.”

“Good. Because I have a lot more planned.” Korra’s expression was mischievous. She kissed her forehead again and moved down to her lips. Her motions were soft, giving Asami a chance to recover. She trailed her neck, proud of the deep marks she had left there, marking Asami as hers. Her fingers danced over Asami’s shoulders and tugged on her shawl.

“Mmm, Korra, wait.” Asami pushed herself up, Korra immediately moving away with the request.

“Did I hurt you? Did I do something wrong? Should we stop?”

“No, no, not at all! I was just going to unzip my dress for you.” Asami reached behind her back and pulled the little zipper down. “I don’t want you to rip this one.”

“Hey, I didn’t _mean_ to tear the shoulders off of that dress. I just, well… um –” She blushed and threw a sheepish hand behind her head, unable to come up with a good justification in her nearly-drunken state.

Asami giggled. “It’s alright; I forgive you. That’s why I’m unzipping this one now,” she carried lust in her eyes as she slid the sides of her dress down, “to make it easier for you.”

Korra watched her hands move with intent. Familiar straps started to show. By the time the dress had left her torso, Korra’s mouth was partly agape. Asami had been wearing the same bra that she teased Korra with for _weeks_ in their video chats.

It was even more beautiful in person.

Her fingers moved to it immediately. They took in the absolute softness of the material, their caressing inadvertently massaging Asami’s sensitive breasts.

She stopped taking her dress off. Instead, her hands were behind her against the mattress, her head thrown back and her eyes closed to the sensation. She let out a soft moan, urging Korra on.

“Lay down,” Korra whispered in her ear, biting the lobe and squeezing Asami’s breasts after the fact.

Asami bit her lip and did as she was told. Her hands found Korra’s hair and her fingers wove into her now-loose ponytail. Her arms moved with Korra’s descent. Teeth scraped against her nipples through the fabric and she wanted nothing more than for Korra to be closer; that’s all she ever wanted, even when they were as close as could be. It would _never_ be enough. Her hands pulled Korra into her breast, beckoning for more.

Korra’s hands left her chest and slid to her back. She unclipped Asami’s bra with remarkable speed, considering she was usually _horrible_ at getting the clasp open. Her mouth departed only so that she could rip the bra off of her.

Asami heard it collide with the floor in a gentle pat before her focus was completely lost. Korra had wasted no time. Her lips surrounded Asami’s nipple, her tongue circling it as it hardened. Asami bit her lip and moaned, her back arching into Korra. Her hands were tangled in the sheets now, balled into fists. The pressure was building more and more with each flick, the wetness and warmth intensifying. “Korra,” she breathed, pleading for more. The exhale turned into a moan as Korra started sucking and nibbling on Asami’s nipple, one hand playing with her opposing breast while the other snaked down to her groin. She teased her clit, her fingers following the same pattern as her tongue.

Asami was losing it very quickly. She ground into Korra’s hand again, breath refusing to come to her as Korra pleased her nipples. She was disappointed only for a second when Korra departed, but the kisses down her abdomen and the hands now tugging at her dress told her _exactly_ what was to come. “Fuck,” she whispered, already throbbing and pulsing and _begging_ for another orgasm.

Korra kept her underwear on for about a minute, admiring its beauty and sliding her tongue between the lacy waistband and Asami’s skin.

She moaned to this, of course; Korra was playing her like a fiddle. “Please,” she whimpered.

Korra kissed her way up and down Asami’s thighs, intoxicated by the smell radiating from her. She was completely soaked through, though Korra knew this from the moment her fingers trailed down to her nethers; even on the outside of her dress, she could feel it. Her mouth stopped in the center. She moved slow, her teeth taking the fabric while touching Asami’s clit in the process.

Asami arched into Korra, a death grip on the sheets. She let out a loud exhale as Korra pulled her underwear off with her teeth. She watched as Korra flicked her head, the panties flying onto the floor. Her eyes closed and her head craned back the second her tongue made contact with her folds, a deep gasp filling her. It felt _amazing_. Korra licked her length, diving deeper with each line. Asami’s thighs tightened against her head, her hands abandoning the mattress to bury themselves into Korra’s hair. She pulled her closer.

Korra didn’t mind in the slightest, even moaning herself; she had missed the way Asami tasted, missed her _other_ pair of lips. She flicked her tongue all around Asami’s slit, taking in as much of her as she could.

Then, she went for the kill.

She surrounded Asami’s clit with her mouth and sucked on it, her tongue playing with it between breaths.

Asami moaned. _Loud_. But she didn’t care. This felt _too_ amazing. She tightened her hold on Korra and rotated her hips to the rhythm of her tongue. She let out a grunt when Korra slid two fingers into her, then three.

Korra teased her opening at first, then moved deeper. She curled over Asami’s spot again and again, bringing her to a whole new kind of climax. Her tongue never stopped moving. She enjoyed every minute of this, every moan and sound and squeeze. She felt a pulsing between her own legs, accompanied by the warmth and wetness that she knew all too well. She kept going, kept rubbing, kept sucking, feeling Asami get closer and closer to climax.

Everything in Asami tightened and burned. She was so close, so _fucking_ close. Her legs seized up again. Her feet cramped as her toes dug into the mattress. She was inches away.

One more flick.

One more suck.

One more pump.

And everything came out, quite literally. A moan escaped her very core, one that was even louder than her last, as she repeated “Korra, Korra,” over and over again. A warm fluid gushed out of her, her walls tightening and opening around Korra’s still-moving fingers. She saw sparks in her closed eyes, the sweat almost dripping off of her skin. Asami collapsed onto the bed once her climax was over, her legs sprawled to her sides, exhausted. She couldn’t take another hit and she knew it. She panted and kept her lids shut. Her hands fell to her sides. Her clit twitched as Korra lapped up the remains of her orgasm. “Korra,” she whispered between breathes, her peridots locking onto the oceans that looked up to her. She lifted her hands, beckoning her.

Korra obliged with a smile. She crawled up to Asami and locked onto her lips in as gentle of a kiss she could muster.

Asami’s fingers trailed down to Korra’s waist as they continued. She unbuttoned and unzipped her pants. She shoved the bands to Korra’s slacks and boxers down until she was exposed.

“Asami,” Korra questioned, a bit of confusion in her tone.

Asami pulled her closer, the action forcing Korra’s pants and undergarments to slide further down to her knees. She half-gripped Korra’s hips, half-gripped her rear until her slit was within reach of her tongue. She got to work, wasting no time in making the woman she loved squirm and moan.

And it didn’t take her long, either.

Korra was already wet and throbbing, and once she realized what Asami was doing, she adjusted her position against Asami’s mouth. She gripped the headboard and rotated her hips, grinding against Asami’s face like this was the first time she had ever been fucked.

And in a way, it was; she had never sat on Asami’s face before. But _Spirits_ , did it feel good.

“Fuck,” Korra muttered, gritting her teeth as Asami’s tongue flicked across her clit in different patterns. Her pants were to her ankles by now, her legs starting to tire, even in her physical shape; this wasn’t a motion she was used to.

Asami pulled her closer, not getting enough of the Water Tribe girl. She had missed Korra’s lips – both pairs of them – and _yearned_ for the way Korra tasted. She moved faster and faster, throwing in a few sucks and nibbles in between her tongue play.

“Asami,” she whispered, feeling tension grow in her legs and walls. She closed her eyes and lifted her head, her hands tight on the headboard. She was close. Just a few – more – licks – and – “Fuck,” she grunted, the pressure building up and releasing rather quickly. Her hips slowed in their rotation up to a standstill as she rode her orgasm out. Her head was thrown back, sweat on her brow, knuckles white. Asami knew just how to get to her, just how to lick her to make her climax in a few minutes flat.

And it had been everything she had anticipated, everything she was waiting so long for. She wanted more, _needed_ more, and Asami knew this.

Asami flipped Korra around so that she was sitting up, back against the headboard, legs sprawled out and clit beckoning her. She crawled up to Korra and began sucking once more, wasting no time between Korra’s highs.

And Korra didn’t mind this in the slightest.

Asami started off slow, giving Korra’s sensitive clit time to adjust to what was happening. Then, the pressure started building again. Asami moaned when Korra dug her fingers into her hair, going so far as to fist it and push Asami further into her. She took advantage of the closeness and increased her speed, a single finger teasing Korra’s opening.

“Asami,” Korra murmured, head against the wall.

She kept going, having no desire to stop eating her dessert. But she drew this one out, making Korra twitch and jerk and beg and plead through motions and whispers alone. And she loved it. She loved being in control, of making Korra dance under her fingers and tongue.

“Asami, please,” Korra whimpered, teetering on the edge of her climax.

“Please _what_ ,” Asami questioned, though the words were muffled.

“Please… please fuck me,” she responded, her cheeks red as she did so. “Get me off like only _you_ can.”

Asami smiled against Korra’s folds and went all out, her tongue working in fast rhythms while her fingers slid into and out of Korra, just the way she liked it.

“Fuck,” Korra moaned, increasing her hold on Asami’s hair. She was inches away.

_Just a little more…_

She let out a loud sound as the pressure exploded inside of her. Her walls clenched around Asami’s fingers, her bent legs shaking as the orgasm blew through her. She panted, holding Asami’s face tight until her climax simmered. She hunched forward, sweating and exhausted from the experience.

Asami pushed herself up on her elbows, just close enough to reach Korra’s lips. She kissed them, a soft, tender connection.

Korra pulled her closer in a gentle manner. They continued to kiss, neither one of them wanting to separate. But instead of this being from passion, it was from love. When they departed, their eyes locked, a smile on each of their lips. Korra brought her legs together and Asami adjusted her position so that she was next to Korra. She cracked her knuckles as Korra laid on the bed, a yawn escaping the Water Tribe girl.

“Don’t you want to take this off,” Asami whispered, not having the strength to speak louder.

Korra shook her head. “Too tired. Let’s just – sleep,” she yawned again, wrapping an arm around Asami’s shoulders in the process. “We can do more in the morning if we aren’t hung over.”

Asami chuckled and melted into Korra’s side. She found her free hand and laced her fingers with the tan ones. “I love you, Korra,” she muttered, closing her eyes as she spoke.

“I love you, too, Asami.” Korra kissed Asami’s forehead and ran her thumb against the back of her pale hand.

Their bodies simmered, exhaustion and alcohol taking over. But they were content; they were together again, and that was enough for them to be happy. The smiled as they drifted into sleep, snuggling each other for warmth throughout the cold winter night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Korra and Asami have a nice dinner together at Asami's apartment after her return from the Fire Nation. They drink sake and wine and eat arctic hen. Korra gives her flowers, a mix of Asami's favorite roses and the flowers Korra wove into her hair before asking her out. They talk about the increasing tensions in the Earth Kingdom with Kuvira on the rise of uniting the settlements after the fall of the monarch. Asami also mentions her shift in studies, seeing Fire Lord Izumi speak on the issue of the Earth Kingdom, and other things she had done during her time abroad. Sexy times ensue. 
> 
> For a while. 
> 
> Then, they snuggle up, say I love you, and fall asleep. 
> 
> ^_^
> 
> The end!
> 
> PS - Things start to get real in the next few chapters. I will put warnings up before those, too.


	5. Modern Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to warn each and every one of you right now; this is the chapter when shit gets real. Like really real. I had to change the Archive Warnings after this chapter. I am going to go to all lengths possible to let you know that there are triggering words and circumstances in this fic, including derogatory terms for people in the LGBT community, drugs, violence, and non-consensual actions. If any of these trigger you, I would advise you to look at the end of the chapter for a summary of what happens so as to not force you to read through the whole thing.

Korra was busy hustling about, trying to make sure she had everything she needed. She had showered and put on several layers of deodorant to ensure she smelled extra nice. She spritzed herself with her typical “Deep Water Blue” body spray before throwing her undergarments on. Her wet hair was up in a towel as she scurried across the living room to her phone. Naga watched from the couch as Korra checked the time, made a face, and returned to the bedroom to put on more clothing. The TV was on in the background, the news of the evening fading in and out as Korra moved around. One particular report caught her eye as she passed through the room again, her fingers buttoning up her white, long-sleeve undershirt. She stopped in her tracks and watched the footage on the screen.

“…reports have told us that Kuvira is still on the rise in the former Earth Kingdom. She has overtaken many of the previously untethered territories, bringing them together under her own sanction, acting as what the new citizens call her: ‘The Great Uniter’.”

An image of a woman with tied-back black hair appeared on the TV. She wore a dark green outfit, metal plating her shoulders, neck, and biceps. She stood atop a podium as people bowed before her, a banner falling over the sign of what was Omashu.

“Our reporters in the Earth Kingdom tell us that only a few colonies remain untouched by Kuvira’s army, including Zaofu and Kyoshi. Unfortunately, ties with our reporters seem to be breaking during our campaign to document what is happening in the Earth Kingdom. We have live feed coming in now from one of our people on the ground. Zhang, can you hear me?”

A video cut in of several armies marching forth, though the images were blurry and shaking, as if the camera man was hiding somewhere as he shot the footage. Korra sat down in wide-eyed shock as she watched the tanks encroach on unsuspecting villages. The soldiers stormed in. There was muffled shouting in the background before the view cut into static.

“Zhang?” The reporter put a hand to her ear piece. There was nothing but silence on the screen. Her face grew grave. “We – will do everything we can to keep you up to date on what is to come. Until then, let’s – turn to Ming for the weather. Ming?”

Korra tuned out what the man was saying as he gave his forecast. Her eyes took in the picture of rainy skies to come but her mind did not process it. There was a faint ringing in her ears as the images played over and over in her head. She felt outside of herself, enough so that Naga had stood on all of her feet and let out a soft bark to get her attention.

It wasn’t until her phone pinged that she snapped from her daze. She shook her head and brought her attention to her dog, who licked her cheek the moment she was moving again. “Hey, girl. I’m fine,” she replied with a half-smile and a half-scratch of her ears. She looked down to her phone to check the notification.

Hey Korra. I’m almost here. Are you ready?

She typed a quick reply before jumping off of the couch to finish getting ready.

                Almost just give me a sec

Korra rushed around, hopping into her black pants and shoving her arms into her black overcoat. She fumbled with her black skinny tie in the mirror until it was acceptable. She ripped the towel from her hair and frantically tied her three wolf tails up.

Naga lifted her head – having returned to her curled up position – and watched Korra look over everything in the living room mirror. She glanced at the door when the bell rang.

_Fuck_ , Korra thought as she adjusted her tie and sleeves. _Alright, I think I’m ready._ She skimmed over her outfit one last time: _black dress pants, shoes, and long-sleeved suit coat, check. White dress shirt with all of the buttons in place, check. Black tie_ … She finagled with it again. _Okay, good._

“I’m coming, Asami,” she called to her as she half-jogged to the door, more than grateful that she had layered up the deodorant. She pulled it open with a “hey” but stopped short when she caught the sight of Asami in a simple-but-somehow-not little black dress. A faint blush covered her cheeks. She threw an embarrassed hand behind her head. “H – hey,” she repeated.

Asami smirked and kissed her cheek. “Still blushing when you see me?” She kept her grin as she walked past Korra into the apartment.

Korra turned around and shut the door. “I – well – you…”

She was grateful for Naga running up to Asami at this point; it was the distraction she needed to help get herself under control inside.

_It’s not my fault Asami still gives me butterflies… and stuff…_

“Easy, Naga. Don’t jump up on me, okay?” Asami knelt down and scratched Naga’s ears once she obeyed.

“She’s just excited to see you,” Korra walked up to her and smiled. “She likes you better when you’re not in a screen. So does my laptop.”

Asami giggled when Naga licked her face. “Okay, okay.” She gave her one final scratch before standing up and brushing her dress off. “Do you have the reservation made?”

She nodded. “Yep. The fanciest noodle place I could find. Seven sharp.”

“Hmm, we better get going, then,” Asami muttered as she checked her phone for the time.

Korra bobbed and turned to Naga. “Be good, girl. Asami and I are going out tonight. Don’t chew on anything while I’m gone, got it?”

Naga whimpered and barked before hopping back onto the couch.

“Good girl,” Korra praised with a ruffle of her fur. “We’ll be back in a little while, okay?”

She yipped again.

Korra smiled and grabbed her keys. “Ready,” she asked as she turned to Asami.

“Of course,” she replied with a smile.

“Bye, Naga,” they both called over their shoulders as they slid out of the apartment.

Naga barked back when she heard the key turn in the lock. Once their footsteps were out of her hearing range, she slumped onto the couch, huffed, and fell asleep.

Korra and Asami walked side-by-side down the street, the cool mid-semester air forcing a shiver across Asami’s skin; she wasn’t expecting it to be this cold. The clouds overhead didn’t look promising, either.

Lucky for her, Korra picked up on this. She wrapped her arm around Asami’s waist and pulled her closer, hoping her body heat would transfer even though they weren’t _quite_ touching.

Asami glanced over to her and smiled before pecking her cheek. “I think you look really nice tonight, too,” she mentioned, throwing her own arm over Korra’s shoulders.

She couldn’t help the blush that hit her cheeks; why she was still such a flushed dork around Asami would remain a mystery to her. She didn’t understand how Asami could act so cool and calm and collected.

But that’s the thing; that’s just who Asami was.

That, and _many_ other things.

“T – thanks, Asami,” she choked out, forcing some of her rather _inappropriate_ thoughts out of her head.

“Korra, you’re too adorable. Even after a year, you’re still all flustered around me.”

“What can I say,” she replied as she brought them to a near halt, “you still give me butterflies.”

“After all this time,” Asami asked, completing the stop and facing Korra’s front, both of her hands on the woman’s shoulders.

“After all this time,” Korra smiled back, her palms on both of Asami’s hips. They closed the gap and shared a rather passionate kiss on the lips, their eyes fluttering shut at the same time.

At this moment, they _both_ felt butterflies.

The sound of two men fake-vomiting floated to their ears. They stopped their embrace and looked up at the same time.

Two college jocks stood across the narrow street, one of which was wearing a jacket embroidered with frat letters while the other had a varsity athletics coat on. “Get a room you fucking faggot-dykes,” one of them hollered, the other one laughing after.

Korra went from clear to half-red vision in an instant. She put a protective arm around Asami and pulled her closer as she yelled back “fuck off”.

“Go jump off a cliff you cunts,” the other man screamed, throwing the empty bottle of whatever he had been drinking at them.

It missed by a few inches, shattering at their feet.

Korra motioned to lunge, to sprint across the street and kick their asses, but Asami stopped her.

“Korra, don’t.” She had a death grip on Korra’s forearms, struggling to keep her in place.

“Ooooooh, what’s the little pussy sucker gonna do? Steal my girlfriend?” They both laughed as they antagonized the pair, walking casually down the block to wherever it was they were planning to go.

Korra tried to jerk away, jaw clenched.

“Korra,” Asami repeated, a bit gentler in her tone. She walked around and faced her, her palms now on her shoulders. “Sweetie, don’t. They aren’t worth it.”

She growled, her hands in fists. Her eyes were glued to the assholes.

“Korra,” Asami called to her in almost a whisper, sliding one of her hands onto Korra’s cheek.

The skin-on-skin contact and the coolness of Asami’s palm was enough to break her from her fire-red rage. She whipped her focus to Asami. When their pupils met, calmness started to descend upon her. She took a breath, trying to lower her raging heart.

“Ignore them. They’re drunk assholes who don’t want us to be happy. _Fuck_ them. We’re here for _us_ , not them. Okay?”

Korra’s jaw was still clenched. Her eyes wandered back to the pair of jocks as they rounded the corner, effectively out of sight.

“Korra.”

She met her peridots once more.

“Let’s try not to let them ruin our night, okay? We’re celebrating, remember?”

Korra eased into a smile, which was a relief to Asami. It was a small curve, but she would take it.

“You’re right, Asami. We _are_ celebrating tonight. One year of knowing each other, of being friends for the first time.”

“One year since that girl who kept staring at me finally started talking to me,” Asami grinned back, both palms on Korra’s face again.

“You have Bo to thank for that. He’s the one who convinced me to do it after I had been too nervous to say hello for, I don’t know, two and a half years?”

“I’ll have to send him a personal thank-you letter, then,” Asami brought Korra closer. “Thank-you, Bolin, for helping me find my best friend and the love of my life.”

Korra giggled and received Asami’s lips with a smile. “Don’t give him _too_ much praise, though; he’ll never shut up about it.” She grinned, hands back on Asami’s waist.

They kissed again and didn’t depart until a group of people were forced to walk around them. They pulled away with deep blushes, all contact gone. With averted eyes, they continued their walk to the noodle eatery.

Korra slowly lowered her hands to her sides. She glanced over at Asami, admiring the way her black locks cascaded down her back and danced in the light breeze. How did she get so lucky? At this moment, she thanked the Spirits that she liked girls, even if it had made her self-conscious or had been an inconvenience at times. Not to mention, a target. And while this frustrated her, almost to the point that her _actual_ _discovery_ of her sexuality had, when she looked at Asami… it was all worth it. The struggling. The teasing. The assholes. If it meant getting to be beside Asami at night, then it was worth going through. She stretched her pinky out as far as it could go, the rest of her fingers following the subtle movement of her arm. She closed in on Asami’s hand and walked her fingers across her palm.

Asami looked down and smiled before joining their hands together, the fingers now laced. She was content like this and the grin didn’t leave her face until they reached the restaurant.

The pair sat down at a small table that Korra had reserved for their special night. It was set with candles and fancy silverware. A small centerpiece of yellow forsythias, white and maroon daphnes, and blue and purple scillias was in the center.

Asami couldn’t help but grin to this; they were the flowers they had liked the most on their first trip to The Gardens a year prior, where they first became friends. She pecked Korra’s cheek, her heart too full of elation to do more at the moment.

They opened a bottle of Asami’s favorite red wine and ordered their food. They talked and smiled and clasped a single hand across the table as they waited for their meals. Korra got seaweed noodles. Asami chose the wheat. Their glasses were empty by the time their entrées were on the table. Their fingers remained locked as they ate, finishing their bottle and ordering a second. After all, this was _their_ night, and _nothing_ was going to ruin it if they had anything to say about it.

This, of course, did not prevent them from noticing some of the stares they got as customers walked by, either for the restroom or to leave the restaurant after gorging on noodles. Korra’s hand always tensed to this. There were times when she wanted to pull it away, but Asami stopped her with a squeeze of her fingers and a reassuring whisper. They knew who they were, and while this hadn’t been the first time they received dirty looks or words or the occasional man with a sign strapped on his chest yelling about how they were ‘abominations’, it seemed to bother Korra more today than any other.

“Korra,” Asami spoke softly, rubbing the back of her hand with her thumb.

She brought her attention back to Asami after inadvertently staring at an older woman who scowled at them as she passed, something that she hadn’t even realized she was doing until Asami called to her. “Sorry,” she muttered and looked down, pushing her noodles around with her free hand.

Asami squeezed Korra’s again. “Hey,” she beckoned, waiting for Korra to look up before continuing, “I love you, with _all_ of my heart. And you are the best, fastest, prettiest, strongest, most thoughtful girlfriend in the whole wide world.”

Korra blushed and smiled. This hadn’t been the first time Asami said such wonderful things to her, but it always had the same effect.

“You are an amazing, loving, generous person with a great sense of humor and a caring heart.”

She looked away, the grin growing. “Thanks, Asami. I really appreciate it,” she replied as she took a sip of her wine.

“And you’ve got a great ass,” Asami added, leaning forward to do so.

Korra almost spit her wine out in laughter. Some of it went up her nose while the rest was either in her mouth or her windpipes. She swallowed and flipped between laughing and coughing.

Asami giggled, glad that she finally got Korra to smile.

Their eyes met, absolute love pouring out of each pair. Korra’s expression softened. “I love you, too, Asami. If I tried to list all of the reasons why, we would be here all night and would probably stack up more wine than we can pay for.”

She chuckled and blushed, just a bit. “Aww, Korra. You’re too sweet. I should have added that to the list,” Asami replied as she, too, took a sip of her wine.

“You can call me ‘Korra Sweet Ass’ for now on,” she boasted, a smile plastered on her face.

Asami snorted, wine now up _her_ nose. She burst out into choking laughter, prompting Korra to do the same.

“Excuse me, ladies,” their waiter approached them. “Can you please keep it down? You’re disturbing the guests.”

“Sorry,” they responded at the same time, averting their eyes in embarrassment.

“Could we actually have the check, please? I think we’ve had enough food and wine for tonight after we finish this bottle.”

“Of course,” the waiter replied, leaving them at once.

Asami filled their glasses, effectively emptying the bottle. She held her glass up to Korra in her free hand. “Cheers.”

“To us,” Korra asked, bringing her glass up to Asami’s.

“To us,” she answered, clinking them together.

They finished their wine rather quickly while figuring out the checks. They were more than buzzed by the time they counted out the yuans for the bill and a tip, so much so that they used each other for support until the rush of standing subsided. They left the restaurant, giggling and almost falling over each other.

“Asami, I love you so much, you cute little fuck, you,” Korra laughed, kissing Asami’s cheek as they walked down the sidewalk.

“And _I_ love _you_ ,” she grinned, pecking Korra in much the same way.

The pair wobbled down the block, Korra’s arm around Asami’s waist once more.

“So what do you want to do now?” She pulled Asami closer. “We could go for a walk to The Gardens. Or we could just sit somewhere and talk or look at the stars. Or we can go back to my place and fuck each other’s brains out,” Korra concluded with a rather hard nibble on Asami’s neck.

She giggled and pushed her away. “ _Korra_ ,” she chuckled, prompting Korra to laugh with her. “I don’t know. I’m kinda in the mood to dance.”

“Dance? Hmmm… I think Bo is at a party right now with this girl he met a few days ago. Opal, maybe? I think that’s her name. We could go there. I’m sure they’ve got some obnoxiously loud music we can dance to.”

Under normal circumstances, Asami would have hesitated; while she had been to a few parties with Korra before, she still wasn’t a big fan of them.

This, though, was not a normal circumstance.

“Let’s go,” she smiled, wrapping her arm around Korra’s shoulders as she did so.

“Okay, okay, let me text Bo to see where he is and then we’ll walk over and dance a bit. Sound good?” They stopped on the sidewalk while Korra pulled her phone out.

“Sounds good,” Asami responded, kissing Korra’s cheek. She glanced up and saw another drunken college jock stare at them, though this time, it was with inward lust.

“Kiss her again,” he hollered.

Asami ignored him, turning to Korra and mentally preparing herself to calm her down. Lucky for her, Korra was too focused – and too buzzed – to hear what he said.

After just a few minutes, they made their way to a party a few blocks away.

(-)

Korra and Asami entered arm-in-arm. The house was packed, an even amount of men and women dancing about. The room smelled of heat and must and liquor. The lights were low and flashing. The music was loud in the background, but less noisy in other areas. The DJ spun the latest hits while the bartender was serving jungle juice and shots. They felt many pairs of eyes on them, most of which were men’s, but passed it off as their status of being strangers at this party. They morphed to locked hands as they surveyed the floor.

“Wanna get something to drink,” Korra called over her shoulder, standing on her toes to look over the heads of the people there.

_I hate being short sometimes._

“Maybe just one more,” Asami replied over the drop of the bass. “But then, that’s it. No more for me.”

“Alright, come on,” Korra pulled her as she navigated the crowd, half-looking for Bolin and half-looking for the faux bar.

She found the latter first. It was manned by two guys, one that was all muscles and the other that was a bit less. Korra glanced at them both, the body-guard looking guy with a drink in his hand familiar to her. She dismissed it after being unable to figure out who it was and addressed the second, who ended up being the bartender. “Two, please. One for me and one for my girlfriend.” She pulled Asami closer and engaged her in a deep, closed-eye kiss as he prepared their drinks.

They departed when the bartender nudged them, drinks in hand.

“Thanks,” Korra grinned as she took the red solo cup full of purplish-liquid displayed to her. She took the other that was stretched to Asami and handed it to her. “Drink up!”

They smirked and downed half of their drinks. Whatever concoction was in those cups went straight to their heads.

Korra turned to Asami and grabbed her hand. “Let’s find Bo so we can dance,” she called over the music, pulling Asami with her as she moved.

It took them quite some time to pilot the floor – almost half an hour. They were too drunk to care about the dancing crowd pushing them around. The bump of the bass was core shaking.

Asami started to feel drowsy. She had had alcohol before – perhaps in quantities more than this – but this time, she had felt much worse than the others. Maybe it was from mixing liquors? She didn’t have a clue, not in _this_ state. She blinked slowly several times. The room started to spin around her. She tried to mutter Korra’s name, but she either didn’t get the syllables or the volume she needed. She couldn’t tell if she was nauseous or if she had to pee or both, but her body was telling her that she needed a toilet sooner rather than later. She squinted when she felt Korra’s hand separate from hers.

“Bo!” Korra hollered, happy that she had finally found the bastard.

“Korra, you made it!” He cheered, taking her into a tight bear hug.

“Ah! Bo, put me down, you’re gonna make me puke!”

“Sorry, sorry.” He lowered her to the floor and twisted his torso. “Korra, I want you to meet Opal,” he introduced, an arm around her shoulders.

“Hey, Opal,” Korra beamed. “I’ve heard a lot about you from this guy over here. He’s great, in case you haven’t heard.”

“Oh, I’ve heard _plenty_ ,” she smiled and took a sip of her drink.

“Opal, I want you to meet someone very special to me. This is –” Korra turned around to show off her girlfriend only to find her missing. “Asami?”

Bolin looked over her shoulder.

“Where’d she go,” Korra asked aloud, scanning the crowd with frantic eyes.

“Was she the one with black hair in a black dress?”

Korra faced Opal with urgency. “Yes, that’s her! Did you see where she went?”

“I think I heard her say something about a bathroom while you two were hugging. A guy came up to her and said he’d show her where it was. It was the same guy that was standing at the bar – the one with the muscles.”

“ _What?_ ” Korra abandoned them, not even waiting for her question to be answered. She pushed her way through the crowd, calling Asami’s name as she did so. Each step filled her heart with anxiety and her veins with adrenaline. She found a hallway off the main room where the music was quieter and the walls weren’t filled with people. She passed the bathroom, which was, in fact, empty. “Asami,” she yelled in a panic. Her ears tuned into a muffled sound coming from another room, as if her hearing had developed tunnel vision. She followed her gut, heart racing. “Asami?” She twisted the nob on the door.

When a protesting noise reverberated through the crack of the door, Korra acted. She tackled the center of it, using all of the force she could muster and even getting a running start on each charge. Eventually, through brute strength alone, she smashed through the flimsy, hollow wood, the broken edges cutting her along the way. She didn’t give a single fuck about that when she saw the sight before her.

A man – the same man by the bar that Opal had described – was on top of Asami. Her body was motionless, her cup spilled nearby. Her legs were splayed in a grotesque manner as the man fumbled with her dress.

Korra’s sight went red in a split second.

“ ** _What the fuck are you doing?!_**” Korra screamed on the top of her lungs, tossing her drink aside. **_“Get off of my girlfriend! Now!”_** She rushed over to him, his hands not stopping, and ripped him off of Asami.

He stumbled into the wall, bleary eyed.

Korra closed the gap between them and punched him in the jaw.

The man hobbled but blocked the next jab, countering it with a blow of his own.

The force of his fist against Korra’s face was enough to make her fall to the ground. She pushed herself to her feet, her left eye burning from the hit, and growled as the man tried to go after Asami again.

**_“Get the fuck away from her!”_** She tackled him to the floor, fueled by absolute rage.

They skirmished back and forth, the man landing another hit on Korra’s face – this time on her lip where he drew blood. He tried to overpower Korra, to flip their positions, but Korra was having none of it. Every second that went by, every release of adrenaline and ire sent her over the edge.

She forced herself onto him and punched him in the nose. She could feel it crack under her knuckles. She didn’t care. She punched him again, his hands trying and failing to block. He grabbed her arms. She broke away. She punched him again. And again. And again.

**_“You –”_ **

**_“Fucking –”_ **

**_“Son –”_ **

**_“Of a bitch!”_ **

“Korra!”

Bolin rushed in and grabbed her from behind, hauling her up by her armpits.

She squirmed and kicked, still too lost in her rage to see her damage. “Get _off_ of me! _Get off of me!!”_

“Korra, Korra, stop.” Bolin tried to hold her back, surprised at the strength she exhibited in her fury.

Several people stood in the doorway, drinks in hand and expressions carrying horror. The music had stopped thrumming outside. The lights were no longer flashing. The muscle-man was on the floor, his unconscious face covered in blood, just as Korra’s bruised knuckles were.

“Let me _go_ ,” she screamed, breaking away from Bolin. She dropped to the floor and crawled over to Asami. Korra lifted a shaking hand to her face. “Asami,” she whispered, pressing her bloody fingertips against her skin. She immediately put an ear to her nose and a finger to her neck, checking for breathing and a pulse. Luckily, she found both. While part of her was overwhelmed with relief, the rage had never left. She glanced over and found Asami’s cup turned over, most of the dark purple liquor spilled out. It was then that Korra saw a very small amount of powder stuck to the bottom of the cup.

Her shaking grew violent. Redness blinded her even more.

**_“You son of a bitch!”_** Korra hollered again, lunging at the unconscious man on the floor.

The person who was beside him checking his injuries jumped away, fearing for his life.

Bolin was right behind her. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her away before her hands got hold of his throat.

“Korra, Korra, _stop!_ ”

**“That asshole! That asshole fucking drugged her! He _drugged_ her. He tried to rape her, that _fucking mother fucker_!”**

“ _Korra, stop!”_ Bolin spun her into the wall and held her there, her back against the plaster. “ _You need to stop. The damage has been done._”

Korra struggled against him until her eyes lifted to the people at the doorway. It was then that she realized the room – the entire _house_ – was quiet. The lights were on. Asami and her assaulter were unconscious on the floor, one of them covered in blood. Korra looked down at her hand and saw that _she_ , too, was covered in his blood.

She started shaking, though this wasn’t from rage; it was from shock. She collapsed into Bolin and started crying.

“Shh, shh, it’s going to be okay,” he lowered her to the ground and hugged her.

“Bo –”

“Shhh… breathe, okay? Simmer down and breathe.”

Korra nodded and buried her face into his shoulder. Her heart calmed. Her head started to come back to her. The alcohol had little effect on her anymore. One person came to her mind, the most important person. “Let me go, Bo.” She pulled away from him and crawled over to Asami. She slid her arms under Asami’s knees and back and lifted her, careful to keep her head in place. She brought Asami to her core and rose to her feet. More tears streamed down her face when she heard a faint mumble of her name from Asami’s lips, as if she was calling out to her in her drugged, unconscious state. “I’m here, Asami,” she tightened her hold, bringing her close enough to kiss her forehead. “We’re going home, okay? We’re going home.” She looked up to the crowd at the door with fire and authority in her eyes.

Bolin stood up behind her, concern on his face.

“ _Move_.”

It was all she needed to say. They either flattened or fled as Korra walked through, head high, glare straight ahead. She carried Asami in her arms as she crossed the silent dance floor, the drunken partygoers smart enough to get out of her way.

“Korra?” Bolin called out to her as Korra descended the steps to the sidewalk.

She just kept walking.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Korra and Asami go out to dinner to celebrate the one year anniversary of them becoming friends and going to The Gardens (essentially what happened in "Flowers"). They kiss on their walk there and two college guys yell slanders at them. Korra gets upset but Asami is able to calm her down. They go to dinner, drink way too much wine, and generally have a good time, though they still receive an occasional glare from people walking around the restaurant, which makes Korra uneasy. Asami calms her once again. 
> 
> A bit more than buzzed and wanting to dance, they decide to go to a party where Bolin and his "new friend", Opal, are. They get there and each get a drink. By the time Korra finds Bolin and Opal, Asami is starting to feel drowsy. While Korra and Bolin are hugging, a guy shows Asami where the bathroom is after overhearing that she had to go. Opal tells Korra this and she immediately goes looking for Asami. She was not in the bathroom; rather, the guy had taken her to a bedroom and was trying to do non-consensual things to Asami. Asami was unconscious. Korra gets the guy off of her and beats the shit out of him, taking a few hits herself. Bolin finds her and pulls her off the guy. When Korra goes to check on Asami, she finds out Asami had been drugged, which sends her into another fury. Bolin stops her. Korra looks up and realizes that the party has stopped, the music has died, the lights are on and everyone is staring at her. She breaks down into tears and carries Asami out of the party in her arms. When Bolin calls after her, she just keeps walking.
> 
> Well, that chapter turned out to be more intense than I first thought. I knew this stuff was going to happen but DAMN. Um, well... yeah. My take on modern day. 
> 
> I am sorry.


	6. Safe again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is a bit late, even though I changed the publication date to when it was supposed to be. Life got in the way. And by life, I mean homework. But here it is!

Everything was swirling. Her head was pounding. Her stomach was turning. She tried to lift her arms, but found they wouldn’t move. Her mouth was dry. Her body was cold, though it was under a blanket.

_W – what?_

She found it hard to formulate her thoughts. She wasn’t even sure if she was thinking, to be honest; she had no idea what this was. Everything she tried to remember was a blur that spiraled into blackness.

_I –_

The line came and left. A crack of thunder floated into her vague conscious. She used it as an anchor, searching for the sound of the accompanying rain to bring her back into reality. When she heard the drops pound against the window and the wind whip against the wall, she knew she was close. The air started to get cooler around her. There was a pain in her shoulder that was surfacing.

The feeling was coming back.

Unfortunately, the memories were not. Nor were her motor skills. A thin layer of sweat was on her forehead. It felt warm, despite the chills in her core.

She found her vocal chords and made a sound, _any_ sound.

And that sound was a name.

“K – Korra?”

An image followed the call once her voice echoed in her ears. She could see the woman’s face, though it was blurry. The background started to fill in. She felt a cup in her hand. Music made her bones shake.

They had been at a party. She pieced those parts together. The preceding events trickled in. They were looking for Bolin. They got drinks. They walked to the house, storm clouds overhead. They had two bottles of wine over noodles. They had kissed.

“Korra,” she muttered again, finally getting enough strength to find her eyes. She opened them.

They were in Korra’s apartment. She had no idea how they got there from the party. The flash of lightning from the window across the room filled her sensitive eyes. It made her flinch. She shut her lids, preparing herself for the thunder.

There was none.

When she cracked them again, they wandered around the room. She tried to lift her head and found she couldn’t.

She had never felt like this before. She didn’t like it.

She glanced down at the foot of the bed. Korra was sitting there, knees bent nearly to her chest, arms resting on the joints. There was a bottle of water loose in her right hand.

There was also _blood_.

She squinted, trying to take her in in the lowlight from the street that crept into the window. Korra’s stare was blank. It was as though she wasn’t even there at all. Her hair was barely tied back and matted. An occasional water droplet trickled down from her scalp.

Had they gotten stuck in the rain? How did they get here? And what happened to Korra’s hand?

The questions in her head wouldn’t stop. “Korra,” she called for a third time, though in actuality, it seemed more like the first; her previous attempts were only whispers, if even that much.

Whatever sort of stupor Korra had been in was penetrated. She faced her with urgency. “Asami,” she asked in desperation and relief. She crawled over to her, water bottle abandoned to the floor.

Asami heard it hit several others that must have accumulated in the time that she had been unconscious. Korra was trying to sober up.

Her warm, tan hands held each side of her face. “Asami,” she exhaled, tears in her eyes. She leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

It was on the departure that Asami noticed her skin. “Korra,” she spoke with a mixture of softness and worry. “Your face.” She tried to reach up to her. She still couldn’t move.

Korra looked away, shame oozing from her pores. “I’m fine.”

“What – what happened?”

Korra met her eyes, sadness in her stare. “You don’t remember, do you?”

Asami wanted to shake her head. Nothing happened. “No,” she responded, concern flushing over the parts of her body she could feel. “The – the last I remember… we were at the party, looking for Bolin. Then it… it gets blurry. I think I drank too much and blacked out.”

She averted her eyes and shook her head, successful in what Asami had tried to do. “You didn’t drink too much, Asami.” Her expression faltered, flicking between anger, guilt, and sorrow. “Somebody at the party drugged you.”

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Someone drugged her? In real life? This wasn’t just a PR scenario for safe behavior at parties. Someone had _actually_ drugged her.

And she fell for it. She went to a party with people she didn’t know, mildly intoxicated from the start, and fell right into the trap.

Asami cringed inside. The motives of drugging were no mystery to her; she had heard enough lecturing about it from her father. Another feeling returned to her; blame. This was her fault. She went to a party. She wasn’t careful. She got _drugged_ and couldn’t remember a damn thing about what happened. She tried to examine her body inside, but all that came to her was a whirling head, a throbbing shoulder, and incredible nausea. The thought of someone, some strange, disgusting, possibly drunk _man_ on top of her, trying to take advantage of her…

“I think I’m going to throw up,” she panicked, feeling her stomach turn and twist inside.

Korra rushed to the floor and grabbed the trashcan. She brought it to Asami and angled her head to the side.

Asami stared at the bottom of the can, which had an old piece of gum and a finished deodorant stick in it. She was completely disgusted with herself. Her body felt disgusting. Everything felt disgusting, just like the trash; used and thrown away once it was depleted.

She heaved, but not in the vomiting manner; it was a sob, the nausea pushed down by the tears.

“Asami,” Korra spoke gently, returning the can and embracing her. “It’s going to be okay. You’re safe again.”

“Korra,” she choked out, more feeling coming back to her. There was a dull thrum in her ears. Her hip felt bruised, as if she had fallen on it. Her right ankle twinged in slight pain. “Korra,” she repeated, unable to translate her thoughts into words.

She tightened her hold on Asami, bringing her head to her shoulder and burying her hand in Asami’s hair. The other was on her back, rubbing it. “I’m sorry, Asami.” There was a degree of devastation in her voice that made both of their hearts sink. Tears of her own fell down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”

Asami glanced up to her, now able to move her head just a bit. “What do you mean? Why are you sorry?”

Korra struggled for air. “I should have been paying better attention. This shouldn’t have happened. I should have protected you. It’s all my fault.”

“Korra,” Asami tried to move her arm. It jarred about an inch, but that was it. “Korra, this isn’t your fault. You weren’t the one that drugged me. If anything, _I_ should have been paying attention to what he was doing. But I was too buzzed and in the moment and –”

“Don’t you _dare_ say this was your fault.”

Their pupils met. There was a fire in Korra’s eyes that made Asami flinch inside.

“Asami, you didn’t ask for this. This isn’t your fault at all. You’re not a regular partygoer. I should have been watching –”

“Korra, this isn’t _your_ fault, either. We – I, I was preyed upon. And I didn’t even know it…”

Fresh tears fell down her cheeks, some of which skimming over the small amount of blood dried on her face.

“I – I feel so used. So dirty and… and _disgusting_ –” The nausea rushed back to her. She half-lunged out of Korra’s arms; it was more of a head jerk, if anything.

But Korra knew what it meant. She grabbed the can and brought it up to her face.

This time, she _did_ throw up.

Korra held her hair back. Tears escaped the corners of her lids.

“Why would anyone –” she wretched again from the pure thought of what might have happened. She _knew_ why someone would do this; she didn’t even need to finish asking her question to know it. “Korra,” she choked out again, her mouth tasting of fruit drink and bile.

She returned the can to the floor and helped Asami sit upright against one of the three walls that touched the bed. Once she fixed the pillows behind her back and Asami was settled, she let her go. She grabbed a bottle of water from the half-empty twelve pack next to the bed and twisted the top off. “Here, drink,” she muttered, climbing onto the mattress and tilting the bottle to her smudged red lips. “It’ll help.”

Asami nodded and took the water in. It felt revitalizing, even though it left her saddened; she couldn’t even hold her own bottle up. The thought closed her throat. She turned her head to push the bottle away. If she was this helpless now, how bad had she been when the drug was in full effect?

She didn’t have an answer to this question. She grasped at straws that would never come to her.

Her tears were silent this time, full of sadness and disappointment. Repulsion. She hated herself, hated that she let this happen.

Korra read this on her face. She put the bottle aside and crawled up to Asami. Her hands found each of her pale cheeks and craned her head until their eyes met. Korra didn’t know what to do or say. Her heart ached; it broke inside her chest. It showed. She never thought she would see Asami like this, never thought that this would have happened to them.

And she hated herself, hated that she let this happen.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around Asami’s torso and burying her injured face into her shoulder. “I shouldn’t have let you go. I should have kept you close. Then he wouldn’t have been able to get you away from me.”

Asami’s heart dropped. The nausea came back, but it was superseded by a mixture of fears and tears. “Korra,” she spoke in between a gasp. “Korra, _please_ tell me nothing happened. Nothing happened, right? He – he didn’t… I…”

She shook her head. “Nothing happened. I stopped him before it could.”

Relief washed over her. She sighed in relief, even going so far as to feel like smiling.

When they departed, that sentiment dissolved instead into worry.

“Is – is that how you got these bruises?” She wanted to lift a hand to Korra’s busted lip. Her arm spasmed in its place.

Korra nodded and looked away. “I – I don’t know what happened, Asami.”

“You don’t remember, either?”

She shook her head. “No, I remember it. I remember it _all_. I think that’s the worst part.”

Concern crossed her face. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to remember what happened. What I did. I – I don’t know what happened to me, Asami.” She shriveled away, her back to her girlfriend. She put her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her shins. Her eyes found the window, the same empty stare on her face that she had had before Asami woke up. “I – I became a monster.”

“Korra?”

“I attacked him. I tackled the door until it busted open. And I attacked him. And if Bolin hadn’t been there to stop me, I would have killed him.” There was no hesitation in her statement. She knew, after nearly an entire night of contemplation, that she wouldn’t have stopped. His bloodied face came back to her sight. She closed her eyes and looked away, tears falling down her cheeks. “I would have killed him, Asami. Fuck, I punched him enough to break his nose and make him bleed and knock him out. That’s when Bolin pulled me off the first time. When I found the powder in your cup, I went after him a second time, went right for his throat. Luckily, Bo grabbed me. It wasn’t until I realized that everyone was staring at me and that the party had stopped that I – I turned back to me again.” She struggled for breath, the shaking in her arms visible and the trembling of her lungs audible. “I don’t – I don’t like what I became. I don’t want that to ever happen again. I – I almost _killed_ him…” Korra buried her face in her knees.

Asami wanted nothing more than to hold her girlfriend and embrace her, to tell her that everything was going to be okay and that they would get through this. But she couldn’t because her arms wouldn’t fucking _move_. There was a knot in her throat, a fresh trail of tears down her face. After several minutes of silence, she was able to find her voice again. “Korra…” she whispered, beckoning her to come closer with her tone.

Korra didn’t move. She continued to stare into the darkness created by her curled position, too afraid to close her eyes and see what she had become once more.

Asami tried with all of the strength inside of her to lift her left arm – the one that was closest to Korra. After a sharp inhale, she managed to bring her shaking limb up off of the sheets. She steadied it the best she could and reached out for Korra’s bruised, bloodied right hand. She managed to clasp onto it, her grip light.

This got Korra’s attention. She twisted around and met Asami’s peridots. They were soft and sincere. Compassionate. Loving. After everything that had happened, there was still love in those watery eyes, even if it was unspoken for the time being.

Asami’s face strained and she dropped her arm, unable to keep it up anymore. The drugs were still in her system – she could feel it.

Korra accommodated. She crawled closer to her and wedged herself into the corner against the wall, still somewhat curled up. She wrapped an arm around Asami’s shoulders and brought her to her chest.

She moved what parts of her body she could into her girlfriend. She tried to lift her hand again. This attempt was more successful than the last.

Their fingers locked together. Korra’s thumb traced patterns against the back of Asami’s hand, her other doing the same for her back; she had been through enough and she didn’t doubt that the unconsciousness that Asami was under earlier wasn’t actually _sleep_. Sleep, _true_ sleep, would help. The drugs had to run their course and there was nothing she could do about it except urge Asami to drink more water.

And that she did.

She helped Asami upright each time, holding her pale palm against the bottle while bringing it to her mouth to reduce her feeling of helplessness. They finished one and it was enough for Asami; her strength was fading, the drowsiness consuming her thoughts about what Korra had told her. Was she afraid of Korra? The answer was a definite ‘no’ though it came from a conflicting quarrel of emotions inside of her. But she knew in her heart that Korra would never strike her. She had her hot-headed moments, she had her protective moments, but those were never directed at her.

And if it wasn’t for Korra, Asami would be on a floor somewhere with a guy fondling and fucking her against her will.

While the… _process_ by which Korra went about protecting her may not have been the best, it was something they could work on. They would grow from this. But for now, they would just have to work towards accepting what happened.

And what had happened was that Korra saved her in a fit of drunken rage.

Korra must have felt the tumultuous emotions inside of her because she pulled her closer at that moment. She felt a gentle kiss on her forehead after that, a kiss that said more than words were capable of.

Asami closed her eyes, a soft sigh escaping her. Korra was love. Korra was warm. Korra was comfort. Korra was just as pained and hurt and afraid of everything that had happened as _she_ was. Most of all, Korra was _safety_ , and she knew that as long as Korra was around, she would be safe again.

Korra glanced down at Asami, exhaustion in her eyes. She was too afraid to sleep; she wanted to stay awake until Asami was better. But the thought crossed her mind: _would she ever be better? _She would never be the same, that was for sure. An overwhelming amount of guilt filled her. She blinked and his bloody face came back to her. She shook it off and narrowed her lids at Asami.

She had fallen asleep.

_Good. She needs the rest._

Korra slid her hand down Asami’s arm and grabbed onto the sheet under her elbow. She wrapped Asami in it before resuming her protective hold over her. She looked at the window, waves of enervation washing over her. The rain was still pouring. The wind still whipped. And from the looks of it, it was going to continue for a long time.

A loud roll of thunder burst out.

She didn’t move.

It was enough to startle Naga, though, who came barreling into Korra’s bedroom, whining. She stood at the foot of the bed, waiting for permission to hop up.

Korra had told Naga to stay on the couch when she walked in with Asami earlier that night, soaked from the rain. When Naga protested, Korra got a bit sterner, which was enough for her companion to understand the gravity of the situation. She stared at her dog with a tired, empty expression. After a moment, she motioned Naga to join them with a gesture of her head.

Naga jumped onto the mattress, careful not to wake Asami. She whimpered at the sight of both Asami and Korra; she knew something had happened, something _bad_.

“We’ll be okay,” Korra responded to Naga’s hesitation, beckoning her with the hand that was on Asami’s back.

Naga walked up to the pair and squeezed between Korra and Asami. She lowered herself down, hoping to bring them both comfort and protection.

Korra smiled. “Thanks, girl,” she whispered through a yawn, losing the battle against sleep. Her eyelids fluttered shut, her last sight before succumbing to slumber that of the raging storm outside.

(-)

Asami awoke in a gaze, though this one was much less severe than her previous bout of consciousness. The smell of sweat and alcohol and vomit pierced her nose, forcing her to recoil out of her rest.

That, and the empty spot beside her was jarring.

“Korra,” she mumbled, still getting a hold of her motor and speaking skills as she opened her eyes. The muffled light of a rainy daytime shined into them and she winced. Soon, a tongue was licking her dried-out cheek. “Er, Naga,” she half-questioned, half-urged her to stop. She could feel the quick puff and suck of the dog breathing through her nose against her skin. She cracked her lids once more to find the animal standing over her, excited to see her awake. Asami couldn’t help but smile, even if it was a small one. “Hey, girl,” she greeted her, lifting her hand from under the sheet without as much strain as before. Asami scratched behind Naga’s ear, knowing it was her favorite spot.

She was thankful for the company.

The bed felt empty without Korra, though. The fact that the Water Tribe girl wasn’t there worried her.

“Do you know where Korra is,” Asami asked, rubbing her head while she forced herself up onto her elbows for the first time since she was drugged.

The thought brought about a swirl in her head and a turn in her stomach. She still couldn’t remember what happened, and at this point, she wasn’t sure she _wanted_ to.

A crinkle sound caught her attention. She glanced over and saw a piece of paper folded up next to her. Asami sat against the wall the best that she could and opened the note.

‘ _Asami,_

_Had to go to advanced. The sergeant called me to go in. Will be back soon._

_Love,_

_Korra.’_

Asami squinted at the scrawl that was Korra’s handwriting and set the paper aside after reading over the words several times to make sense of them. She massaged her lids and sighed, wishing that everything would just go away. She still felt dirty and disgusting. Blame resurfaced in her. How could she be so stupid? How could she let all of this happen? Now that her mind was fresh and the drugs were almost gone, it began tearing her apart. Question after question reprimanding and belittling her came up in her mind.

She pulled her knees to her chest, finally able to do so, and locked her hands around her legs. She wouldn’t admit it aloud, but this wasn’t only helping her stay upright; it was helping her stay together. So many things had happened so quickly. But she was lucky, she thought to herself; a lot worse _could_ have happened, if it wasn’t for Korra.

But she couldn’t get this feeling out of her. Too many emotions were mixing inside and draining her. Every inch of her skin felt grimy and repulsing. She wanted to rip it off and throw it out. She felt tainted and used. Not to mention sticky and sore.

Asami slid her palms over her arms, gauging how much strength she had in her. Emptiness and exhaustion filled the void space created from her raging thoughts and emotions. She gazed at the foot of the bed for quite some time, slowly creeping out of her body until she was no longer there.

Naga stared back at her, worry in her eyes. She walked up to Asami and rubbed against her before forcing her head into Asami’s lap.

She broke away from her dissociation enough to look down at the animal and put a hand on her head. “Do you have to go out, girl,” she asked when she had returned enough to reach her vocal chords.

Naga glanced up at her, moving only her eyes. She could feel the emotion – or lack, thereof – exuding from Asami. She collapsed onto her side and pushed herself more into Asami until she was covering most of the raven’s thighs.

Asami tousled Naga’s fur for a bit, but her gaze went right back to the foot of the bed. She wanted to be clean again. She wanted to just get away. “Will you be okay by yourself, Naga?”

She looked at Asami with a tilt of her head, now standing on all four paws.

She didn’t wait for a response. She pushed herself away and touched the floor with her toes. Her shoes were missing; she suspected Korra might have taken them off when they got here, _however_ it was that they had. Their conversation came back to her. She felt empty again, outside of herself.

Asami stood slowly, giving her legs a chance to follow without failing under her weight.

Naga followed her as far as she could, until a door was closed in her face and she could see Asami no more.

(-)

Korra walked up the steps to her apartment one arduous stair at a time. She had slept very little before Bolin started texting and, eventually, calling her early that morning, telling her to get her ass to advanced. She didn’t want to go; she wanted to stay with Asami. And that’s exactly what she did until the sergeant called her himself. With a sigh, she changed into uniform, as was expected of her. She tied her hair back into a single bun and dragged her tired feet out of her apartment, though not before writing Asami a quick note about where she was. It was raining when she left, but she didn’t care. So what if her uniform got wet? So what if she didn’t even bother tucking her shirt in all the way under her grey, ribbon-covered ROTC jacket? She gave almost no fucks about ROTC right now.

If anything, walking around in this uniform made her feel disgusting inside.

She didn’t feel like a soldier. She didn’t feel like the leader they were training her to be. She felt like a killing machine, even though she hadn’t actually killed anyone. She felt sick from her violent behavior. She wanted to tear the ribbons off because she didn’t deserve them, throw the uniform to the ground as if it would shed away the monster that she felt she had become.

So she showed up at advanced, tired, bruised, bloodied, and late – even after the sergeant had called her in personally. She didn’t look at any of them as she walked into her spot in the front line of their formation, her eyes to the ground the entire time.

And of course, the sergeant had addressed her. But it wasn’t because she was tardy or that her uniform was slightly untidy or her posture was off balance. No, he brought up the marks on her face and the bruises on her knuckles.

Why?

Because the man she had attacked in defense of Asami was _also_ there, standing at the other end of the front line.

It came back to her now, why he had looked familiar to her in her drunken state– and why she _didn’t_ recognize his face as it haunted her during the night; the one she kept seeing was covered in blood while _this_ one was covered in bruises and anger.

So the sergeant asked about it. And Korra laid it out bluntly; she didn’t care what would happen to her at this point. Kick her out of the ROTC program? Go ahead. She didn’t want to be in this uniform at the moment anyway. Take her scholarship away? Fine. She was flunking her classes this semester anyway – or so it felt – and wasn’t expecting to actually get into vet school, so it didn’t matter. Kick her out of school? She was anticipating that happening anyway, so she might as well let it. So she told her story, her words laced with rage and hate even though she was indifferent about her punishment.

Because this was Asami she was talking about, and Asami meant more than any of this did.

So she told him – told the whole fucking advanced group that was there – about how this man had drugged her girlfriend, how this man had tried to rape her, and how she beat the hell out of him for doing it. And the sergeant let loose.

But it wasn’t on her; it was on _him_.

He did _not_ tolerate such behavior, and he made sure _everyone_ knew it. He kicked the man out of the program immediately. He defunded him. He had him arrested on the spot and filed a report with the University Police. Then, he took Korra into his office while he made the rest run their morning miles.

She took off her jacket and handed it to him as she sat in the chair, expecting the same punishment but in a private setting.

He pushed it back to her.

Korra stopped at the door, her hand hovering over the handle of her apartment entrance as she recalled the words he said.

_“I don’t doubt you didn’t try to reason with him before attacking. You demanded that he get off of her and he refused, so you resulted to force. Even in that instance, you exhibited the willingness to negotiate out of the problem; you used words before actions. And when you used your actions, you were effective. You did the right thing, Korra. You stopped him from assaulting Asami. Your actions could have been less extreme and probably should have been. I know you know how to disable people relatively easy without, well, nearly bludgeoning them to death. But you were angry, and you had every right to be. You took your anger to an extreme, though, and we will work on managing that before you do any more damage to yourself and others, but you weren’t in the wrong here. You have a high moral compass. You protected her. And in my book – when it comes to sexual assault – that’s the most important thing. Sexual assault is not some sort of quandary where you don’t know whether you should do it or not; you should never do it. And he did. He couldn’t be reasoned with, so you stopped him. You did the right thing, soldier. But you look rough. Go home. Take care of yourself. And most of all, take care of your girlfriend; she needs you more than I do right now.”_

Her arm started shaking.

_He wasn’t there. He hadn’t seen what I had become. If Bo wasn’t there, I would have killed him. I would have bludgeoned him to death, just like he said. I could have disabled him, but I didn’t. I went right for the face. I let my anger control me, just like he said. _

_But you protected Asami._

_I became a monster._

_But you protected Asami. You stopped her from getting raped. Sure, you could have disabled and put him in a lock and done all of these fancy things. But what’s more important here? Stopping him from raping her or making sure you have ‘proper technique’?_

She lowered her head.

_All I’m saying is that you acted. You told him to get off, he didn’t, so you got him off. _

_I didn’t have to keep going. I could have stopped. I should have._

_We all make mistakes, Korra. Don’t forget, you were drunk._

_That shouldn’t be an excuse._

_Well, you can’t change what happened. All you can do is move forward and make sure it doesn’t happen again._

She sighed, the rain still falling on her. She twisted the handle and pushed the door open.

Naga ran up to her, excited that she was home.

“Hey, girl,” Korra greeted with an empty voice. She shut the door behind her and drug her feet through the living room. “Asami,” she called as she entered the bedroom, only to find the bed empty. Korra froze, her heart sinking into her chest. “Asami?” She paced out to the dining room and found it barren. She moved a bit quicker to the kitchen; nothing. “Asami,” Korra projecting as she jogged down the hallway.

She stopped at the bathroom door. She put her ear up to the wood and heard water running inside.

“Asami,” she questioned, much gentler this time, as she turned the handle.

The door was unlocked.

Korra stepped inside, steam billowing into her face. Asami’s clothes were on the floor. She walked to the shower curtain and peered inside.

Asami was curled up in the corner of the tub, back to Korra. She leaned against the wall and stared blankly ahead, arms around her legs. The water pelted her front and dripped down her face.

Korra knelt down and slid the curtain to the side, not caring about any water that spilled out onto the floor. She reached out and brushed a loose raven lock behind Asami’s ear. “Asami,” she muttered, her tone tender.

Asami glanced up at Korra, the touch bringing her out of her stupor.

Their eyes met and softened.

Asami stretched her arms to Korra, beckoning her.

Korra obliged. She shed her uniform – thankful to do so – and climbed into the tub with Asami.

They curled into each other. The water hit both of their bodies, warm in its embrace.

Korra leaned against the wall, letting Asami meld into her.

They sat, motionless and quiet, for what felt like hours, grateful for the heat of the water and each other. Thoughts kept flowing through their heads, each looking over everything that had happened.

“Thank-you,” Asami broke the silence, her voice above a whisper.

“For what?”

She departed just to angle herself so that she could look into Korra’s eyes. “For saving me.”

Korra looked away. “You’re welcome.”

Asami slid her hand under Korra’s jawline and tilted it upwards. She ran her thumb over the injury on Korra’s lip, being as gentle as possible. “Please don’t blame yourself so much for this,” she responded, now looking into Korra’s blue irises. “We were victims here. They drugged me and tried to take advantage of me when I was vulnerable. You got hurt in the process and lost control because you were vulnerable, too. You were trying to protect me and things might have gotten out of hand.” She brought her fingers up to Korra’s eye and traced the outside of the swelling bruise. “I’m not saying that we don’t need to be more careful, because we absolutely do. But the fault isn’t entirely our own; us being vulnerable doesn’t make what they did _right_.” Asami held Korra’s jaw with both of her hands now, keeping it in place in a soft grip. “I know it’s not going to be easy and it’s going to take a lot of time, but we are going to be okay. We’ll get through this, _together_.”

Korra sighed, though her expression lightened. “You’re right. We’ll get through this. One step at a time.”

“And Korra?”

She put her hands on Asami’s waist. “Yes, Asami?”

“I love you.”

She smiled. “I love you, too.”

They shared a soft kiss, one that barely grazed the lips but spoke more than even their most passionate ones did.

“We’ll be more careful from now on,” Korra muttered as Asami melded back into her, “and I’ll work on getting better. And I’ll be here to help you get better, too.”

“Thank-you, Korra. I – I just… I’m glad you’re here. I don’t think I would be here right now if you weren’t. I don’t think this is something I can handle on my own.” She curled more into Korra before continuing. “I want to get better and to get through this. And I want you to get better, too. I’m here for you,” she locked their fingers, “if you ever want to talk… or _anything_. Whatever you need me for.”

Tears streamed down Korra’s face. She smiled and kissed Asami’s forehead. “We’re going to be okay.”

“We’re going to be okay,” Asami repeated, both of them feeling warmth and hope inside again.

Asami twisted upwards so that they could kiss once more.

“Want to stay here for a while?”

She nodded and melted back into her girlfriend. She closed her eyes and held Korra’s free hand. “Korra?”

“Hmm?”

“Can we not go to any parties for a while?”

She chuckled. “Good idea.”

They smiled and scooched into each other. They both let out an audible sigh and relaxed, the hot water and the steam lulling them into sleep. Their last thoughts before drifting into slumber were of each other, of how strong their love was, and how they were going to persevere through everything that had happened, no matter how long it would take.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it possible to sigh, cry, and have warm feelings inside all at the same time? Because that is how I feel right now...


	7. Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I am like 1500 years latte without Starbucks, but it's finally here! The next chapter of my Korrasami Week fanfic based on the day seven prompt.

She awoke to an empty bed. She couldn’t tell if it was the light shining through the cracks of the blinds or the fact that the space beside her was void, but it was enough to pull her from the depths of sleep. She sat up, still confused in her half-groggy state. She rubbed her eyes and muttered, “Korra?”

A faint smell wafted to her nose. It was something warm, something fresh.

Asami sat up and stretched out her arms and shoulders in a single move. She yawned and did the same for her legs. She slid the covers off of herself and stepped onto the floor, a creak in the boards almost echoing in the mostly-quiet room.

“Don’t get out of bed, Asami,” she heard Korra call to her from the other room. “Get back in bed!”

She raised a brow in befuddlement. “Why?”

“It’s a surprise!”

She narrowed her eyes.

_What is she up to?_

Asami decided to play along and crawl back under the sheets; after all, this had been the most animated she had seen Korra in quite some time.

It wasn’t easy getting through what had happened just a month and a half prior. While they still weren’t the same as before – nor would they _ever_ be – they were better than they had been when it all started, even if it was just a _little_ bit. After Korra had told her sergeant about the incident, the air on their campus carried a thick tension whenever they were around. They ignored the looks they received from passersby and former colleagues alike, but the stares and hushed whispers took their toll on them in private.

It didn’t help that the whole college knew about what happened to Asami.

A few days into the week that followed, Korra and Asami went to the counseling center together. They didn’t necessarily ask for treatment, but they requested a week long sabbatical; they needed time to themselves, time away from everything and everyone but each other.

Lucky for them, the counselor was empathetic. She agreed and wrote them a notice to get them out of class and Korra out of training, which she was _more_ than thankful for. Asami knew she’d be able to make the work up that she missed. Korra, on the other hand, was just grateful for the break; she didn’t give a damn about missing classes _or_ ROTC. In all honesty, this worried Asami.

So they took a week away and set up camp in the mountains near the border of the Earth Kingdom and the United Republic of Nations. The scenery was quiet and peaceful. They had left their phones behind. Korra showed Asami different means of surviving and they even spent a chilly night in a shelter they built themselves from tree branches and ground cover. And Asami enjoyed every minute of it. It took their minds off of things for a while – just enough for them to gather the strength to talk about their thoughts and feelings in the open.

They spent their nights by the campfire, Asami curled up into Korra’s side, Naga on the opposing, staring at the stars under the moonlight. They talked about _everything_ ; how they felt, what they did wrong, what they did right, and everything in between. Communication never stopped flowing between them; it was one of the things that made them stronger.

Korra held Asami tight when she cried as she told her how used and disgusting she felt from the incident.

Asami wrapped her arms around Korra when the tears fell, her turmoil about losing control of her anger and becoming someone she didn’t like coming out in bits and pieces. It was much easier for Asami to pick up on Korra’s _silent_ cues than the reverse, but she refused to close the channel; she wanted Korra to talk about it instead of keeping it inside – for she knew this feeling too well, and knew that it didn’t help all that much to bottle it up.

Or at all.

They were reluctant to leave the forest. It had been so tranquil. It gave them strength of heart and mind. By the time they got back to the City, they felt like they were suffocating.

The workload picked up. Even Asami was frantic to catch up. Korra was being drilled in ROTC at dusk and dawn. She had weekly meetings with her sergeant to discuss her anger management training – something she was required to do and somewhat thankful for, even if she _was_ stubborn about it at times.

But something was still… _different_.

A spark inside of Korra had gone out. She wasn’t excited about wearing her uniform anymore. She stopped trying to outcompete everyone. In some cases, she barely even tried to finish. She slowly started focusing more in her classes than in her training. She didn’t do an extra run before bed anymore.

And there was something else that Asami noticed; Korra wasn’t eating the way she used to. More often than not, she had gotten smaller portions and barely touched them.

She knew this wasn’t a good sign.

So Asami spent more time with Korra. They walked to campus together and walked back, going only to attend classes and nothing more. They didn’t study in the library anymore; there were too many people, too many stares and glances and “is she the one” whispers as people passed by. And Asami knew that this drove Korra _insane_. Korra _hated_ the way people looked at her, not just for who she was and who she loved, but who they _thought_ she was, and for the way they shot expressions at Asami. So they looked for other places to work. Mostly, they stayed in Korra’s apartment; it was spacious enough. Plus a fluffy Naga was always a pick-me-up. Korra was more comfortable there.

In all honesty, so was Asami.

As time passed, Asami had filled a drawer of Korra’s dresser with her clothes and toiletries. They shared a bed together every night, snuggling up in alternating-big spoon positions and comforting the other into sleep. They had sex for the first time since the party just a few days prior, and it had been slow, gentle love making; Asami was hypersensitive to being exposed after everything has happened. It took her nearly a month just to lay in the bed naked with Korra again, and even longer to have passion and feel comfortable enough to be touched in a sexual way.

But Korra didn’t mind; she understood these things, and if there was one thing she had learned in her classes, it was patience. So she held Asami close in these times when she wanted to be held, and left her to be when she wanted to be alone.

It seemed the only time Asami was comfortable with being naked was in the shower with Korra. They rarely showered alone after the incident. During the first few weeks, they had taken showers that were _hours_ long, both of them enjoying the heat and the security the other one brought them. They placed soft kisses on the other’s lips, the tenderness remaining even after Korra’s had healed. Their fingers would always rake through the other’s hair, massaging in shampoo under the stream of the water.

Sometimes, they talked during these moments. Other times, they were as quiet as space. These were the most profound. Without realizing it, they had opened themselves up to the other. The emotions flowed, and their energies mixed as they relied on each other for peace.

And it was in the shower that Korra had broken down after weeks of inward decline.

Asami held her close and listened to the sobs. She couldn’t read everything that Korra was feeling until she closed her eyes and just _felt_.

Korra was feeling lackluster. She was unhappy – not with Asami, but with her life. With ROTC. With what she had done. For not stopping things sooner.

She still blamed herself.

Asami spoke tender, encouraging words to her. She urged Korra to let it out, but Korra wasn’t good with words. She wasn’t good with fears. She wasn’t good with self-loathing and self-hate.

She understood the feeling. Asami hadn’t quite let go of her self-blame either, despite their weeks of what they believed was recovery.

But it _was_ recovery; they were better than they had been. But it was a slow, agonizing process. This wasn’t going to go away in a few days or a few weeks. But they held on, they trudged through it, because they refused to succumb to the pressures outside and within.

Asami started taking Naga on more walks, which enticed Korra to join her. The walks turned to hikes. The hikes turned to runs. And although Asami couldn’t quite keep up with Korra, she was happy to see her running again. She would go through the horrible torment of self-induced suffocation and exhaustion from the _blasted_ exercise that was running if it meant seeing Korra improve.

Soon, they started working out together – not in the gym, but in the forest. They wanted to avoid the stares, so Korra taught her what she knew without weights or machines or any equipment of the sort.

It had begun with Asami trying to climb up a branch. She wasn’t _unfit_ in any sense of the word (especially after all of that running), but she didn’t have the _best_ upper arm strength.

This, of course, gave Korra the opportunity to show off to her girlfriend.

She pulled herself up the branch chin-up style over and over again.

Asami, undeniably, was agape at Korra’s muscles and body. She egged her on for _many_ reasons; partly to keep Korra’s confidence going and to give her an outlet to blow off some steam, and partly because _Spirits, Korra had a nice body._

Korra did this until the branch broke. They laughed when she plummeted to the ground (after they had made sure she was okay).

So began Asami Sato’s training regime. They worked on all sorts of muscle groups and Asami found herself sore in places that she didn’t even know she could be sore in. But this was okay, because Korra’s smile was worth it. Eventually, they moved into combat training after a play-wrestling fight over who would get to pick the takeout place for their weekly movie night resulted in Asami showing impressive skill in dodging Korra’s tickling fingers. From this, Korra taught her everything she knew about self-defense.

This seemed to bring a bit of ease to Korra’s heart. She got to spend time with Asami, she got to let out her frustration, and she got to teach Asami how to hold her own even moreso than before.

They eventually got protective gear and sparred in a forest clearing every week. Though sometimes, their sessions were more of Asami holding up the pads while Korra beat the shit out of them. But this was exactly what Korra needed, and in all honesty, Asami was getting some good out of this too; it really _was_ a good way of getting your frustrations out.

When Korra started eating more, returning to her normal-sized portions and slurping down the noodles with a satisfied grin, Asami felt a rush of relief. Korra still had reservations about being in her uniform and going to ROTC, but she was trying harder now. She started running again, with Asami by her side. And best of all, she still carried her motivation to do well in her classes, going so far as to apply for several vet tech positions for when she graduated in just a few weeks.

Asami, herself, was weighing several options over when it came to her career. She could go back to school and get her advanced degree. There were a few firms – her father’s included – that were interested in hiring her on as their new engineer, from chemical to process to industrial. But she hadn’t given any of them a solid answer yet. They didn’t mind, though; Asami was hot merchandise, and they were willing to wait.

_I wonder if that’s why she’s so happy. Maybe she got a call about the vet tech position._

Asami’s thoughts were interrupted when Korra pushed the door open with her elbow. She stepped inside, carrying a tray of steaming food in her hands. “What’s this,” she asked through a smile.

“Breakfast in bed! Or – more like lunch… _food_!” Korra grinned and set the tray on Asami’s lap.

“Wow, Korra. You made this all yourself?” Asami eyed the bowl of noodles before her, several vegetable dumplings on the other side of the tray. There was a cup of tea in the corner, and from what she could tell, it was jasmine. Her mouth watered to the aromas. She picked up one of the dumplings and blew on it before popping it into her mouth.

“Well, I had some help from Naga.”

Naga barked, wagging her tail behind Korra.

Asami stopped chewing. “Um, _how_ did Naga help,” she asked, horror crossing her face.

Korra chuckled. “Moral support, mostly.” She grinned and kissed Asami’s cheek. “Her paws didn’t go anywhere near the food this time, don’t worry.” She turned away from the bed and made her way to the bathroom.

“Wait,” Asami choked out, swallowing a bit too quickly, “where are you going?”

“To get ready.”

She raised a brow and opened her mouth to follow up, but Korra was already gone. Asami glanced down at Naga, who sat on the floor, panting and staring at her with big eyes. Her heart softened. “Alright, but don’t tell Korra,” she whispered before tossing one of her smaller dumplings to the dog.

Naga caught it in her mouth and pranced about as she chewed.

By the time Asami finished her meal, Korra had stepped back into the bedroom, drying her hair with a towel as she did so. “Oh good, you’re done,” she exclaimed with the same amount of excitement as before. She took the tray from her lap. “Now go get ready!”

Asami ripped the sheets from around her. “Ready for _what_ ,” she responded, sliding onto the floor as fast as possible.

“To go!”

With that, Korra slipped out of the room.

“Korra, wait!” Asami ran to the doorway. “To go _where_?” She glanced into the living room to find it empty. “Korra?”

_What has she got planned?_

Asami half-smiled and half-sighed. Either Korra was going to do something fun and spontaneous to celebrate something, or she was going insane. She hesitated at the frame before deciding to follow her instructions. To the shower she went while Korra bustled around, getting ready for _whatever_ it was that they were going to do today.

_At least she’s happy_.

This made Asami’s grin widen.

_At least she’s happy._

(-)

“You still haven’t told me where we’re _going_ ,” Asami pestered, pulling her arms in a bit from an unusually cold breeze.

“That’s because it’s a _surprise_ ,” Korra replied, smirking as she did so.

“This isn’t a practical joke, is it,” she questioned while they made their way through the City.

“Nope,” Korra chuckled, sliding her hands under her bag straps.

“What do you have in the bag?”

“It’s a _surprise_ , Sato,” she teased. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

They approached the City line when Korra stopped.

“Alright, Asami,” she started. She took the bag from her back and unzipped it. “First, I need you to put this on,” she dug around and found a small piece of fabric. She held it up to Asami from her crouched position on the ground.

Asami accepted the cloth with bafflement. “What is it?”

“A blindfold!” Korra almost cheered, jumping up to her feet. “I need you to put it on so that you can’t see anything.” She swung her bag back on.

She hesitated. “I – I don’t know about this, Korra.”

Korra closed the gap between them, going from over-excited to calm and reassuring in one second flat. She held Asami’s shoulders as she spoke. “Don’t worry, Asami. I’ll keep you safe. We aren’t going anywhere dangerous, I promise.”

Asami exhaled. After a moment of thought, she smiled. “Alright, I trust you. Just don’t walk me into any poles, got it?”

Korra nodded. “I won’t!” She watched Asami tie the dark fabric over her eyes in anticipation. “Can you see me,” she checked, waving her hand in front of Asami as she did so.

“Not at all.”

“Good.” Her tone was ecstatic again. “Can I have your hand, Miss Sato?”

Asami grinned. “Always,” she added as she offered Korra her left hand.

Korra blushed before interlocking their fingers. “We aren’t too far away. Hopefully people won’t look at us funny.”

“I think we’re a bit too late for that one.”

She paused. “Yeah, I guess we are,” Korra half-chuckled as they made their way through the City. She navigated the best she could, using her phone as a guide. After about half an hour and several detours around new construction work, they had made it. “Okay, Asami,” Korra whispered, positioning Asami in the center of the area. “Open your eyes.”

“They _are_ open.”

“I meant take off your blindfold, dork.”

“Oh, right.” Asami laughed, feeling a bit foolish from her statement; she was definitely not awake yet. She pulled the fabric off and shielded her eyes to the light. Once they adjusted, a grin covered her face. “Korra, The Gardens…” She was speechless.

The Gardens were prettier than she had ever seen them before. They were blooming bright and strong. There were several new plants all around, their flowers fragrant and colorful. Tears almost breached her lids when she saw the rose section; it was full of rose bushes – though they were out of season and not flowering – but there had been almost double the types there were before, including a whole new bush of Kormarters and even some limbo roses.

“Korra?”

“I’ve been working on this for a while now, every morning before advanced,” she circled around until she was looking into Asami’s peridots. “I got permission from the City to help maintain the flowers here. I did a bunch of research and found native species of flowers that bloom all different times of the year and made sure they had enough space to grow with the ones that lived here already and made sure they wouldn’t compete too much with each other and could survive and – Anyway, I sent a proposal to the City and they said if I funded it, they would allow it, so I did.” Korra gave her a soft smile and took her hand. She turned around and walked her slowly through the pathways. “I wanted to do this because this is the first place we came to when we first became friends. I wanted it to serve as a constant reminder of our growth together, and how beautiful we’ve become, even if the process is slow and still happening – just like how these flowers take a long time to bloom and wait months and months for the cold to go away. Most of all, I wanted to plant them because of _you_ , Asami.” Korra stopped and faced her once more. “You’ve brought beauty into my life. And all of these flowers aren’t enough to even get _close_ to comparing to how beautiful you are.” She took Asami’s other hand in her free one. “I love you, Asami Sato, with all of my heart.”

Asami was in tears. She had no idea what to say. This was overwhelming in the most positive way it could be. “Korra,” she whispered. “This is beautiful. _You’re_ beautiful. And I love you.” She closed the gap and kissed her, the motion full of passion but wrapped in tenderness. “This is so unexpected,” she muttered as they departed. “And it’s just – it’s so wonderful, Korra.”

“Happy Anniversary, Asami.” Korra kissed her cheek and let go of her hands. “If you don’t mind, I have to go grab something.”

Asami watched in half-amazement, half-guilt as Korra gathered three types of flowers: lilac, mock oranges, and a single pink peony. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she had forgotten that today was the day that Korra had asked her out officially. In her mind, the time they spent together blurred together; she had always remembered the date of when they first became friends. She supposed the hard fall she had for Korra made the rest of their days as just-friends seem like a haze to the point that they had _always_ seemed like they were dating. She hid her remorse as Korra returned, several flowers in hand.

“Ready,” she smiled, the soft breeze pushing the loose strands of her hair around.

Asami nodded and offered Korra her hand.

They locked fingers and made their way into the mountains, to the same spot Korra took Asami a year ago. They sat down just the same. Korra pulled out sandwiches from her bag and several bottles of water. It was almost a mirror of their first time there.

Except for the phone call.

Instead of Asami’s ring going off, it was Korra’s.

She jumped up and answered with urgency. “Hello? Yes, this is her,” she muttered as she walked away, to the exact spot Asami had.

Her tone was excited, from what Asami could make out of it.

“Yes, yes, thank-you. Thank-you so much!” Korra hung up and sprinted to Asami, who had just gotten to her feet.

The force of her hug brought them both to the ground.

“Asami, Asami,” Korra cheered, her body on top of Asami’s. “I got the job! I got the vet tech job in Republic City! They just want to see my final exam scores in a few weeks but _I got the job, Asami!_ ”

“Korra, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for –”

Asami was cut off by a rather passionate kiss – the most zealous one since everything happened several weeks ago. She didn’t mind in the slightest, to be honest; she felt safe with Korra and Korra alone.

By the time they separated, they were _both_ out of breath.

“Asami,” Korra whispered, her fingers diving into Asami’s hair.

“Come here,” she beckoned, her hands folding around Korra’s neck. They shared another kiss. This one was gentler, like the kind they had been used to during their on-going recovery. “I’m so proud of you. So very proud.”

“Me too, Asami.” She kissed her a final time before crawling off of her. “I got the job,” she whispered in disbelief to herself as Asami sat up. She turned to her bag and pulled the final item out; a small bottle of wine – Asami’s _favorite_ wine. “I brought this in case we wanted to celebrate our anniversary, but I wasn’t sure –” She glanced over to her girlfriend in hesitation. They had been laying off of alcohol since the last party they went to, having only an occasional glass on their nights in when it would only be the two of them and Naga. This would be the first time they drank out in the public since–

“It’s okay, Korra,” Asami clasped her hands over the tan ones on the bottle, “it’s a small one. We can celebrate here.” She slid the wine from Korra’s grip and twisted the stopper open – having been a bottle they had already drank from before. “We can have a few swigs here while we watch the sunset,” she crawled closer to Korra and whispered in her ear, “then we can go home and keep celebrating.”

Korra blushed. Shyness spread through her at the thought of what Asami implied. “Oh – okay,” she managed to get out before taking a gulp from the bottle. “I still have to do your hair, Asami,” Korra reached for the flowers nearby and placed them in her lap. “May I,” she questioned, fingers on Asami’s hairband.

She swallowed her mouthful of wine and smiled. “Absolutely.” Asami closed her eyes as Korra began her work, her fingers weaving her hair with utmost delicacy. She was almost asleep by the time Korra finished.

“Wanna see,” Korra asked after another sip from the bottle.

Asami nodded and squeezed in closer to Korra.

Korra held her phone up and flipped the camera. They took a picture together, similar to the one they had exactly a year ago. “You look just as beautiful, if not moreso,” Korra mumbled in amazement as she made the picture her new home screen. Their first was still on her lock screen. She flipped between the two, noting the obvious differences, such as Korra’s hair being longer than before, and the _not_ so obvious ones – the hint of exhaustion in their faces from everything they had endured. Her attention was taken away when a hand slid under her jaw.

It was followed by Asami’s ruby red lips, tender against her own. The sun started to set around them as they kissed more. Asami crawled into Korra’s lap and curled herself into a ball, her side against Korra’s front. Korra wrapped her arms around Asami and traced patterns on her back.

“Korra, this is perfect. Thank-you so much.”

She smiled. “I’m just happy that I got to meet you and spend time with you and make you happy. And you’re my _girlfriend_. I never would have thought that would happen in a million years. When did I get so lucky?”

“I think we _both_ got a huge chunk of luck when it came to each other.” Asami sat up and looked deep into Korra’s oceans. “You are the most amazing person I have ever met. I can’t imagine my life without you.” She kissed Korra once more, sliding her fingers into Korra’s hair as she did so. “I love you, Korra. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, Asami.” They kissed again. A cool breeze broke them apart.

“Let’s get home. I want to keep celebrating with you and give you _my_ present.”

Korra smirked and watched Asami stand. Her eyes were on one part in particular. “Is it that sweet ass of yours?”

Asami giggled and put the cork back into the now-empty bottle. “ _You’re_ the one with the sweet ass, remember?” She walked up to Korra and put her hands on her tan shoulders. “You have a sweet a _lot_ of things.”

“But you’ve got the sweetest taste,” Korra replied, licking her lips at the thought of Asami’s. “Come on, let’s get home before we end up doing it in the forest.” She finished picking up their things and shoved them into her backpack. Korra lifted her phone up to get the GPS going for the construction detours. Right when the location services locked on, the battery died.

Asami chuckled. “Don’t worry, Korra. I know my way back. Come with me.”

They locked fingers and made the long journey back to Korra’s apartment. The sun was long gone by the time they got to the door, though they made the trip in almost half the time that their previous when Korra was leading the way. They took a moment to walk Naga together, hand in hand for the entirety. Once they returned, they made their way to the bedroom.

Their clothes came off slow and steady. They took their time, still rediscovering the comfort in being naked in the bed together. The alcohol certainly helped, though. They crawled onto the mattress, tender but passionate, as they kissed. Their fingers danced across the other’s body. The lips moved from face to neck, neck to chest, chest further south.

Korra was the first to dive in, moving only to Asami’s comfort levels. It had been the first time since her face was down there since the incident. It took some adjustment, but the more she watched Korra do it, the more relaxed she felt. They were alone. It was just her and Korra. She was safe. She closed her eyes and threw her head back, the pressure building inside of her. It didn’t take long for her to climax, and even that was gentle, as their love making was.

When Asami finished, she beckoned Korra to her. Asami crawled on top of her and sat near her hips, grinding and touching her breasts as she did so – just the way Korra liked. The more she did, the hotter Korra got. And each thing brought about comfort inside; Asami was in control. She dictated what happened and when, and Korra obliged unless it was outside of her own boundaries. Asami liked this control. She kept a firm grip on it as she made love to Korra several times over, until Korra’s legs were shaking; besides, Asami _did_ have to use this as her present to Korra until she got her something better. But for now, she figured this would be more than enough, by how much Korra was calling her name.

She collapsed after the fifth climax, unable to take any more from Asami. Even though the sex had been light, Asami knew all of the spots to hit, all of the things to turn Korra on, how much tongue to use and when and where. It, too, had been the first time Asami ventured south since the incident, and she forgot how much she had missed it. They _both_ did.

“Asami,” Korra whispered, calling her to her lips.

Asami crawled up to the head of the bed and kissed Korra. “I’m not done yet,” she muttered, hands squeezing Korra’s shoulders.

She shook her head. “I – I can’t take anymore.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Asami smiled as she got off of Korra. “Roll over.”

Korra did as she was told.

Asami sat on Korra’s rear and started massaging her shoulders.

“Mmmm, Asami,” Korra breathed; she liked massages more than most things in the world. Her back was always full of knots and other tense spots from all of her training, and Asami always had a way of melting them right from her bones.

“Shhhh, relax,” Asami whispered before kissing her cheek. “Let me take care of you.”

Korra mumbled something incomprehensible and relaxed, Asami’s kneading hands putting her to sleep.

She smiled. “I love you, too, Korra.”

(-)

A loud pound on the door startled them. They jumped awake at the same time. Light rain was hitting the window.

“Who the hell could that be?” Korra rubbed the side of her head as she crawled out of bed. She glanced over at the small clock on her desk while she threw a robe on. “It’s two in the morning for fuck’s sake.” She meandered over to the door.

Asami followed, adjusting the tie on her cloak.

Naga was alert near the entrance.

Korra twisted the knob.

A man in a grey uniform stood before her as Asami caught up.

“Sergeant?”

“Korra, I’ve been trying to call you for hours now. Why aren’t you answering your phone?”

She blinked several times. “Because it’s two in the morning,” was her first response. Then the realization came. “Oh, my phone died earlier. I guess I forgot to plug it in.”

“Well, I’m just glad I got to you. This is important.”

“What do you mean?”

He paused and lowered his head to gather himself. “Korra, there’s been an attack.” His strong eyes met the shock in hers.

“An attack? Where?”

“On the United Republic of Nations. Kuvira attacked.”

Her heart dropped. “She _attacked_ the United Republic of Nations? Why?”

“She wants to wage war on the world, take what she thinks is rightfully hers as part of her Earth Empire.”

“But why are you telling us,” Asami asked, her heart racing. “Surely this is something we could have heard from the news.”

“This next part isn’t.” He brought is attention to Korra. “I’m – I’m sorry to say this, Korra, but you’re being shipped out to active duty.”

Both Korra and Asami’s heart were out of their bodies. Their stomachs turned.

“Wh – what? How am I being shipped out? I’m not even a soldier –”

“That’s the same thing I told them. But this is above my head. They need you in the United Forces, as well as a bunch of their recruits in Academies across the world.”

“But _why_? The United Republic of Nations has _plenty_ of soldiers.” Asami stepped in, having read up on the military after learning about Korra’s enrollment in ROTC.

“ _Not anymore,_ ” he spoke sternly. “Kuvira didn’t just attack _any_ part of the Republic; she attacked the main military base. She had some sort of new stealth technology that was completely off our radars.”

Horror was on Korra’s face. She tried to form words but found she couldn’t.

“Were – were there any –” Asami couldn’t finish her sentence.

He shook his head, already knowing what she was going to say. “They’re all dead. There were no survivors. Just the signal alarms sent out to the other bases once the power started failing. We got some visual before the cameras cut out. When responders got to the base, it was blown to smithereens. There are no more soldiers there; just rubble and blood and body counts…”

“And they just expect to send us out as if _we_ can fight Kuvira off when _they_ couldn’t? Commander Bumi wouldn’t allow this!” Korra spoke up, fear filling her.

“Commander Bumi is _dead_ , Korra. There is no more Commander Bumi. There is no more United Forces presence at the border. If we don’t get soldiers there, Kuvira will walk right in and destroy _everything_.”

She looked away; this was more than she could handle. Her hands started shaking.

_This can’t be happening. It can’t._

The sergeant put his hands on her shoulders. “I tried, Korra. I really did.”

Their eyes met.

“I fought tooth and nail to keep you and the others here in Republic City. But I’ve done all that I can do. You’re one of the few who the United Forces has been funding for four years. You have an obligation to the military that is out of my jurisdiction; it was in the contract you signed freshman year. Even though I told them that it was ridiculous to just send students out when they haven’t finished the program… they deemed you and a few others trained enough for deployment. It’s – it’s above my head now. I’m sorry, Korra.” He released her when she looked away and took a step back. “Your plane leaves tomorrow afternoon, Gate 2B. You’ll be going to the Fire Nation for assignment.”

Korra stared at the ground. Her ears rang. Everything felt very distant. She was outside of herself. Empty in shock.

“The Fire Nation,” Asami asked, confused on the manner.

He nodded. “That’s where they want to send all of the soldiers while the ones who are currently there get sent out to the frontlines in the Republic. Korra,” he addressed her though this didn’t get her attention. He continued on, “you’ll most likely be taking their spots and posts patrolling the Fire Nation instead of being in combat.”

There was no response.

He clasped her shoulders again, trying to get her to look at him. “I’m sorry, Korra. I’m sorry.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks.

“I’ll be at the airport to see you off. Get some rest, soldier.” He stepped away and saluted her.

There was no response.

He turned away and walked down the steps into the rain. His heart was heavy. He was out of earshot by the time the door shut.

“Korra?” Asami took her pale hand off of the handle and faced her girlfriend. “They – this can’t be true. They can’t just take you away, can they?”

There was no response.

“Korra?”

More tears fell. She balled her trembling hands.

“It’s true, isn’t it? You’re obligated to go.”

There was no response.

Korra’s knees shook. She collapsed into Asami’s arms, bawling.

Asami lowered her to the floor and held her to her chest. She shed her own silent tears.

This would be the last night they would be together for Spirits know how long. Korra was leaving tomorrow, and there was nothing she could do but sob.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart.


	8. Airport

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry this is so so so so so so so late. Life has been incredibly busy! But here it is, the last chapter of the Korrasami Week fic for this past month's Korrasami Week. But this is not the end!!! Look for more updates in November during Korrasami month!!!!!!! If you want more information on that, check out the korrasami-month tumblr page. 
> 
> I would like to say a big thank-you to everyone who has taken the time to read this story. I appreciate each and every one of you and I can't wait to see where this story goes.
> 
> Much love, AutyRose.

Prompt 8: Airport

It was silent. It had been silent for a long time. It morphed to an eerie sense of normalcy. The engine hummed in the background. The sun was shining. Cars zoomed around them, consumed by their own lives. It was warm. There was a gentle breeze. It was absolutely beautiful.

But today… today was _not_ absolutely beautiful; it was anything but.

She pressed her foot on the brake as they approached a red light. The car came to a halt. It thrummed, waiting to move again.

The air smelled fresh. The windows were cracked.

Asami released the pedal once the signal switched. She drove down a road she had taken before. This, though, had been during a much happier time, when they were talking in excited tones about her trip to the Fire Nation and how much they would miss each other.

While the latter was still true, the former was not. She was not the one going on the trip, and _neither_ of them was excited about it.

The car was silent. She made another turn. Left down tenth, just as before.

She stole glances at the woman beside her. It wasn’t hard for her to notice the difference in her skin; it looked pale despite its tan color.

Korra stared straight ahead of her. She didn’t move. Didn’t say anything. Didn’t peek at Asami as she had done to her.

Naga was in the back seat. Her head was not out of the window. Instead, she was trying to hop into the front seat to sit with Korra, unable to do so from her size. After many failed efforts and no acknowledgement from her companion, she plopped into the rear and gazed at the door, uninterested in the passing cars that she was once so eager to chase.

Asami returned her focus to the road. They hit another red light. She dropped her eyes and stared at her hands, the fingers loose but the palms firm against the wheel. She looked back over at Korra. There hadn’t been any change. The green signal stole her attention. She accelerated, each mile feeling like ten. Her hands started to shake again. The tears were threatening to breach once more. She was surprised she had any left in her.

She glanced at Korra before switching back to the street. “You don’t have to do this,” she choked out, her voice dry and rough from the sleepless night.

Korra said nothing. She didn’t move an inch. Asami was convinced that she didn’t even blink.

“You don’t have to do this,” she repeated, a bit more strength in her voice.

And a bit more desperation.

“I can turn the car around. We don’t _have_ to go to the airport.”

Korra said nothing. She didn’t move an inch.

“We can leave the United Republic of Nations. We can go to the Southern Water Tribe. We can be safe again.”

Korra said nothing. But she _did_ move. This motion, though, was a shake of her head and a drop of her eyes. She stared at her hands in her lap, unmoving and unwavering in her emptiness. Her ears were still ringing in the silence, perhaps _creating_ the silence. The sound of her mother’s sobs echoed in the back of her mind. The tone of disappointment in the voices of the staff at the Republic City Veterinary Hospital created a consistent hum in the back of her neck. She had called both this morning. The Hospital was first. She had to reject their offer. She was going to war. Her mother was next. She had to relay the news. She was going to war.

She was going to war. She was going to war. She was going to _war_.

It repeated in her head. She was going to war.

Had she not expected this?

She was going to war.

Is this not what she signed up for?

She was going to war.

What did she think ROTC with the United Forces in Republic City meant?

She was going to war.

She was ripped from everything she had been doing, as if nothing else mattered.

Because nothing else did. She was going to war.

A warm palm gripped her left and gave it a squeeze. Asami was never warmer than her.

And Asami made note of this, for she _knew_ this to be true. And as terrified as she was, her tumult of emotions could not compare to the void inside of her girlfriend’s chest.

Korra was going to war.

Asami would have to watch her leave.

Korra was going to war.

Asami would have to survive without her.

Korra was going to war.

Asami would be losing her girlfriend, her best friend.

Korra was going to war.

She bit back her tears. She had to be strong – for _Korra’s_ sake.

Because Korra was going to _war_.

It repeated in her head. She clamped down on her tongue and tightened her hold on Korra’s hand, putting all of her effort into focusing on the road ahead of her.

Korra was going to war.

But what she was afraid of the most was Korra not coming _back_.

She made a sharp right to this. They were ten blocks away. Too close. Too soon.

Korra’s sergeant had assured them that she would just be doing patrol in the Fire Nation. Korra would be safe. She wouldn’t be on the frontlines. Asami had no reason to worry about Korra’s safety or her life.

She had _been_ to the Fire Nation. She had observed the military forces and protection at the border. She had seen the soldiers at the Academy.

And some of them had seen _her_.

One of them had met the fate of her fist from an unwanted advance. That was another thing that worried her; Korra would be surrounded by people she didn’t know or trust. What if they hurt her? What if she got herself into trouble? What if they _killed_ her?

It was a thought she threw away in the wee hours of the morning, when the sunlight breached the horizon and threatened them with the start of their last day.

But the feeling was there. And it didn’t matter _what_ scenario she thought of; she would be worried for Korra _no matter what_.

Korra was going to war.

Two blocks. They had only two blocks left. The silence ensued. Their hands never departed. Korra never made a sound or moved a muscle, not until Asami brought the car to a halt.

They separated. Asami shifted the gears into park and shut off the engine.

The quietness was deafening now. Neither of them had realized the comfort the thrum of the engine had brought.

They sat still, gazing with empty stares at different things. Their targets didn’t matter, though; the emotion was all the same.

The sound of an incoming flight forced them from their solitude. The air became jagged as it touched down, black and sleek in its design.

They remained motionless until the engines hissed off in the background.

Asami reached over and took Korra’s hand again. She hated herself for the words that left her mouth. “Your flight is going to leave soon.”

Korra nodded, but didn’t move the rest of her body.

Asami squeezed her palm and departed. She stared at the wheel for a moment before removing her keys from the ignition. The jingle hardly reached her ears. She unbuckled and pushed her door open, the rush of warm air entering the vehicle doing little to warm the growing chill inside.

She circled first to the trunk. She popped it open and retrieved Korra’s United Forces Issued army bag. She hauled it over her shoulder.

Next, she approached the rear passenger side door. She yanked on the handle and took hold of Naga’s leash, urging her outside onto the pavement.

Last was Korra’s door.

Korra sat inside, staring at her hands.

She was going to war.

The sound of the door creaking open alerted her, but she didn’t move.

“Korra, sweetie.”

The voice was gentle. It came from the woman she loved. The woman she was forced to leave behind.

She was going to war.

“Korra.”

A hand followed, soft against her cheek.

Korra didn’t move. She couldn’t. She didn’t want to. But she had to.

She was going to war.

A kiss on her other cheek. Fingers through her hair. Those tearful green eyes that she wanted to avoid for the rest of her life.

But she knew this was only the beginning of the tears. Asami would suffer. There was nothing she could do about it.

She was going to war.

A call for arrivals at Gate 2B echoed into the parking lot of the airport over the PA system. Asami glanced over her shoulder. Twenty-five minutes. That’s all they had left.

Korra inhaled. The air brought her nothing that she could feel. The ribbons of her uniform caught her peripheral. There were too many of them. She didn’t like it. She didn’t want it. She _hated_ it. But the void was too much. It consumed her.

She was going to war.

She blinked. It was slow. It felt as if it were the first time she had done so since the unexpected news. Her eyes were dry. The skin underneath was shaded with bags of sleep deprivation. She was far from slumber that night. Far from slumber for many nights to come.

She was going to war.

Another ring. Twenty minutes. She had to go.

Korra pushed herself out of the car after unbuckling. Her eyes were glued to the cement. It was as gray as the uniform that she wanted to shed.

The sound of the door slamming behind her did nothing. She was motionless. Distant.

She was going to war.

Korra walked beside Asami without thought or motive. Their pace was slow. They dreaded every step.

1A. 1B. 1C.

The sounds of people surrounded them, their white noise doing nothing to bring them comfort as the engine unintentionally had.

1F. 1G. 1H.

Another ping. Fifteen minutes.

A man cut in front of them. They didn’t notice. A woman nearly spilled her coffee at their feet. They didn’t notice.

Asami adjusted her grip on Korra’s bag strap. Her arms shook.

She took a breath.

And there he was, Korra’s sergeant, waiting for her. Two other recruits were in line, getting cleared for boarding.

Asami stopped short.

Korra did the same.

It was happening; it was really happening.

Korra was going to war.

She turned around and faced her girlfriend, those oceans void of the spark they usually carried. Asami set the bag down and dropped her eyes to Korra’s feet. She traced up her body one last time. She brought her trembling hands up to one of Korra’s loose buttons and fiddled with it, trying to get it closed. She failed time and time again, tears getting closer to breaching with each attempt. When she managed to get the button clasped, a pair of tan hands covered hers. She glanced up.

Korra brought Asami’s hands up from her abdomen and into her chest, clasping them against her heart. She closed her eyes and took a breath. She muttered a word for the first time in hours.

“Asami.”

The tears fell; Asami was helpless to stop them. She freed herself from Korra’s loose grip by sliding her arms back behind Korra’s neck. She pulled her into a tight embrace. She didn’t want to let her go.

“Korra,” she heaved.

Korra was going to war.

Emotion overwhelmed her. It came rushing back in a devastating blow. She grabbed onto Asami, pulled her as close to her as she could. Her hands were firm across her back. Tears streamed down her cheeks.

“I don’t want to go,” she whispered, unable to speak above a hushed tone from her cracking vocal chords.

“I don’t want you to go, either,” Asami whimpered back. Her head felt light. The world was slipping away. _Korra_ was slipping away.

Korra was going to war.

They cried in each other’s arms. Another ding. Five minutes.

To this, they departed.

Naga rubbed against Korra’s legs, whining and pawing at her boots.

Korra crouched down and buried her fingers into Naga’s scruff. The tears continued to roll. “You – you’re a good girl, Naga.” She looked into her dog’s eyes. The crying worsened. “I – I have to go away for a while. I don’t know – I don’t know when I’ll be back. Asami is going to take care of – of you until – until I’m – I’m back, okay? You, you be a good girl for her, okay, N – Naga?”

Naga barked and whimpered and licked Korra’s face.

Korra wrapped her arms around Naga and held her close, wetting her fur with her tears. “I’m going to miss you. Be – be good, okay?”

Naga whined.

They departed. Korra looked deep into her eyes. “I’ll – I’ll be back. I promise.” She petted her dog one last time on the head before rising to Asami.

They embraced. They buried their faces in the other’s neck, their fingers burrowed into the other’s hair.

Ding. Two minutes.

“Asami,” Korra muttered, fighting desperately for breath.

They separated. Blues met greens.

Korra put her hands on either side of Asami’s face. She closed the gap. They kissed.

Ding. Final boarding. Their time was up.

They locked eyes once more. “Will – you wait for me,” Korra choked out.

Asami nodded, a fresh stream of tears cascading over Korra’s fingers. “Will you come back to me?”

Korra nodded, a fresh stream of tears cascading onto Asami’s arms.

They kissed one final time, a deep, passionate locking of the lips.

When they departed, their foreheads touched.

“I love you,” Korra whispered.

“I love you, too.”

“Korra,” the sergeant approached them, a palm on Korra’s shoulder.

Korra closed her eyes and breathed. She took a step away from Asami and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. She picked her bag up off of the ground and slung it over her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Korra,” he spoke softly with a squeeze.

Korra dropped her gaze and trudged over to the gate with the sergeant. He handed the attendant her ticket. She glanced over her shoulder one last time at Asami and Naga before boarding the plane.

Once Korra was out of sight, Naga started whining and tugging at the leash.

Asami kept a firm hand on it. The sound of the bridge detaching was rigid and rough. It made her heart skip a beat. The pace increased with each passing second.

This was it. Korra was going to war.

She walked with an absent mind to the floor-to-ceiling window nearby. She glanced at the large jet as it prepared for launch.

Naga stood beside her, pawing and barking and jumping at the glass.

Passersby stared as they went on their way.

Asami watched the jet back out of its spot near the gate. She noticed a small figure in the very last seat. She squinted. She could just barely make out a tan hand against the glass.

It was Korra’s.

She put her pale palm against the window, fresh tears escaping her. She stayed this way as the jet rounded the take-off zone. She stayed this way as the jet accelerated across the ground. She stayed this way until the jet was in the air. She stayed this way for several minutes after the jet was out of sight.

Her legs grew weak. Her knees shook. She collapsed and cried against the window.

Korra was gone to war.

Naga rubbed against her and shared in her pain.

Korra was gone to war.

Their heartache was communal, but not with the people who glanced their way as they passed; it was with the woman on the plane, whose palm was still against the glass.

She felt a prick in her jacket that she wasn’t used to. She took her hand away to inspect the inside. Korra pulled a small piece of paper from the inner pocket of her coat.

It was a four-by-six. It was a picture. It was _their_ picture, their first picture together in the mountains outside of Republic City. There were flowers in Asami’s hair that Korra had handpicked and hand woven into a braid. The sun was setting on their skin. Their smiles were wide. Their eyes held excitement. She held it up to look at it closer. There was writing on the back.

_To Korra, my best friend._

_I wanted you to have this while I was away; I know it’s your favorite picture of us together._

_I’ll be back from the Fire Nation soon, in just one semester. Be strong. We’ll keep in touch._

_Love, Asami._

This was from a frame in Korra’s apartment. Asami must have slipped it in her uniform pocket before she had gotten dressed.

There was another inscription on the bottom. A new one.

_To Korra, the love of my life, my best friend._

_Be safe. Be strong. Keep in touch if you can._

_Use this to keep your faith._

_And come back to me. I love you, I love you so much._

_Keep this close to your heart, just as you’ll be close to mine._

_Love Always, Asami._

Korra’s hands were shaking. She held the photo against her chest.

She was going to war.

She was going to war.

She was going to war.

Korra curled into herself and wept as the jet made its way to the Fire Nation.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very sorry.
> 
> *hides*


	9. Autumn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! As you may know, Korrasami Month is afoot, and I have decided to continue this story based on the prompts provided. I plan on using one prompt per three day release, for a total of ten new chapters to this story. It will be a direct continuation from where we left off in Airport, though this particular chapter occurs several months after those events. I hope you enjoy! And I'm sorry for feels and what not. Also, thank-you for taking the time to read and leave reviews/comments on my story. I greatly appreciate it. *heart*

The leaves crunched under her feet.

They were as dead as she felt.

The wind was cold, making her nose pink.

It was as chilling as her heart had been.

The outskirts of the City were quiet.

Just as quiet as her soul.

The only thing moving that wasn’t her feet was her mind. It replayed memories as it always did when she wasn’t drowning herself in work. It showed clips of her current projects when she was at her desk, face inches from whatever it was that she was designing or analyzing or building. When her brain was too exhausted to think of engineering, it wandered to other things. To the war. To the broadcasts and news reports that she had a love/hate relationship with. She loved them only in the sense that it kept her up to date with what was happening.

But she hated it because it _reminded_ her of what was happening.

That’s when her thoughts would succumb to her heart, fueled by yearning and a form of desperation that she had no fondness for.

All of which was stemmed by love – a love too potent for her to find any control over.

She stopped at the corner, waiting for the morning traffic to clear. Once the light switched color, she went on her way.

When her feet weren’t crunching leaves, they were clicking against the stone of the sidewalk. She kept moving, moving as she always had, as she always tried to do.

And from this, the summer had been a blur.

She had gotten a job and dove right into her work, spending long hours from almost sunrise to almost sunset in the factories. She had decided to continue her studies, finding that work wasn’t enough of a distraction for her. So she split her time at the facilities into chunks so that she could pursue her advanced degree and sharpen her engineering skills. And this was great during the day, when she moved from work to class to homework and back again.

But at night, when her assignments were complete and her mind was too tired to think about her latest project – that was when things became deadly.

That’s when her thoughts would wander while she laid alone in her oversized bed. That’s when her thoughts wandered to _her_.

Asami came to a halt, reaching her destination. She hadn’t been here since May, since… She clicked across the small path and sat in a nearby bench, an empty gaze at the scenery ahead. She stared at the sign that read “The Gardens”, unable to enter yet from her own restraint. Her heart was trying to break out of the cold shell Asami had kept it in. It turned on occasion as it tried to escape. She forced it down but remained still on the bench. It wasn’t enough. She wanted to leave.

She couldn’t.

It took her weeks to work herself up to get here. And she hated it. She wanted to be numb, wanted to push all of this away and function normally.

So why in the _hell_ was she here?

She pulled out her cell phone and brought the display to life. The image on her screen reminded her _exactly_ of why she was here. She slid the lock open. She tapped her way to her voicemails and scrolled through the work related ones until she found the one she wanted – the only _real_ important one, in her opinion. She clicked on it and held it up to her ear, closing her eyes in the process.

“Hey, Asami,” a shaky voice started, “it’s me. I – I have something I need to tell you. And I want to tell you before I don’t have the chance to anymore. You’re probably busy or sleeping, and that’s why you didn’t get this call, but they’ll be taking my phone away soon, so I don’t have much time.”

There was a long pause.

“Asami – I’m going to war. Like, actually – actually going… The lieutenant… I – they’re sending me to the frontlines, Asami.”

The whimpering started.

“They’re sending me to the frontlines. To the Earth Kingdom. I – I won’t be in the Fire Nation.”

There was another pause, though this one was not a silent one as the previous had been.

“I’m sorry, Asami. I – I don’t know why they are doing this. I – I –”

Asami’s hand started shaking. She took a breath and buried her feelings as she seemed to do more and more in these situations.

“I won’t be able to communicate through phone or text or internet. There won’t be service out there and they’re taking anything with GPS chips in it out of the ground units so that Kuvira can’t track us like she did with the last squadron that went out there. But –”

There was a crinkling and fiddling on the other end, mixed between sharp breaths and sobs.

“They gave me a way you can reach me. Through letters. If you send them to the military base in the Fire Nation, they’ll be able to get it to me. Address it with my name and Squadron 727, Lieutenant Colonel Xinku. I’ll try to write back as soon as I can, whenever I get your letter, okay?”

The sobbing intensified.

“Asami – Asami, I love you. I love you with all of my heart. And after – after this is over, I’m going to come back to you. Okay? I’m going to come back and do everything I can to stay alive.”

A sharp intake of breath. A ten second pause.

“I love you, Asami. I have to go – they’re coming now to collect our phones. I hope you get this message. I’ll be okay; don’t worry about me, alright? And _please_ , take care of yourself.”

A final pause before the final sentence.

“I love you.”

The static faded out as the message ended.

This had been four months ago. Four months since this voicemail. And it was the last piece of Korra’s voice that she had.

Asami held her phone close to her chest. It wasn’t the first time she had listened to this voicemail, and from the looks of things, it wouldn’t be the last. But she had cried less and less each time. Instead, she felt herself sink more with the repetition, more into stillness and coldness as the weather had with the change of the seasons. She didn’t cry anymore. In fact, she didn’t really feel _anything_ anymore.

It had been a long time since she cried over Korra, even during those nights where she felt lost and alone in her empty bed. More often than not, she would shove those emotions down, roll over in her stubbornness, and try to sleep in her barren room. When this didn’t work, she moved to her small couch, the feeling of the back of the couch against her helping, if only somewhat.

In the more shaken times when her emotions were rawer and out of her control, she slept on the floor with Naga or invited the massive dog to lay on her bed. For Naga, too, had been affected by Korra’s absence – much more so than she knew how to handle.

At first, she didn’t welcome Asami’s company; while she loved the engineer, she wasn’t _Korra_ , she wasn’t the best friend she longed for. She would sit by the door, waiting for Korra’s return, only to be disappointed when Asami walked through the frame.

For she wasn’t _Korra_.

Soon, the hope began to fade. She stopped sitting by the door. Stopped rushing to it from her bed. In fact, she hardly _moved_ from her bed on the floor in the living room, unless it was to eat or relieve herself.

Eventually, the loneliness took over.

She had approached Asami late one night at the large, cluttered desk that the engineer was accustomed to working at in such wee hours of the morning. Naga had put her head in Asami’s lap, commanding her attention.

When their eyes locked, she knew.

From then, it had become commonplace for Naga to sit somewhere near Asami when she was working, whether she was within range of being petted or not. Even when Asami caressed her, though, the motions seemed to be empty, lacking that certain inflection of touch that both of them needed.

Even when Asami had crawled onto the floor with Naga or when Naga had leapt onto Asami’s covers, it wasn’t _enough_.

Because it was lacking what they kept trying to hold down in belief that restraint was success in the situation. It lacked _emotion_. They weren’t confiding in each other. They were simply using the physical presence of the other as a false form of comfort, a means of trying to make up for the absence of the boisterous person that they missed and denied missing so much:

Asami looked up and took a breath. A cough erupted from her chest, brought about by the cold of September and her own exhaustion. It was the only reason she had time to be here right now; she was banned from working by her boss – her father – until she healed. Even _he_ could see how much Asami was working herself, and he urged her in the past to rest.

But she didn’t listen. She overworked herself right into sickness, and now she was forced to stay home and address the _cause_ of her symptoms.

She wasn’t referring to the virus in her body.

Asami pushed herself to her feet and held her elbows, both for warmth and to hold herself together. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

The wind urged her forward, urged her to enter the garden.

So she did.

She wandered through the vine-covered gate, blank in her stare. Her phone was still in her hand, still against her breast. She pushed her emotions down with every step until her steps stopped.

Everything erupted when her eyes fell upon the sight of the rose garden.

It had been the place that Korra and Asami had come to when they first became friends. It was the place that she had been avoiding for that very reason; coming here meant being reminded of Korra, of the happier times, of the times that reminded her that Korra _wasn’t_ here and that Korra could be _dead_ and all of the things and emotions and thoughts that she was trying so desperately to get a grip on and control and push down.

But pushing emotions down was not controlling them; it was just burying them, neglecting them, covering them with a layer of dirt and a carpet to be unseen.

This didn’t stop them from being _known_. For Asami _knew_ they were there, _knew_ the emotions were lingering under that rug.

And she avoided them, just as she had been avoiding the rose garden.

Asami blinked again and rubbed her eyes, part of her believing that this wasn’t real. When she opened them, everything was the same as it had been moments before. At least, to her eyes.

But something had _changed_.

She walked up to the flowers in disbelief, the fallen leaves crunching at her feet. Most of the rose garden – what was originally there – had lost its flowers and even its leaves, which scattered along the dirt with the others. The surrounding trees were in a similar state, their leaves turning colors and detaching as was commonplace for the autumn.

It was a trademark, actually. An expectation. The colors would flourish into magnificence, into warm oranges and reds and yellows, and drop into brown, into decay, into nothingness with the onset of winter, buried by the cold ice and snow.

For autumn was the birth and death of beauty as the world knew it.

Yet, here she stood, mouth agape at what was before her.

Several bushes of roses – the roses that _Korra_ had planted – were green and flourishing. In fact, they were even blooming, despite the cold temperatures and late season.

And this absolutely _baffled_ Asami. It was like nothing she had ever seen before – even in her years of rose gardening with her mother.

Not only that, but this was the first time that she had seen the flowers that Korra had planted for her bloom.

There were roses of all colors, from whites to pinks to purples and reds, to greens and oranges and back again. The dark pinks and light purples of the Seven Sisters littered the background in rows of small – but thick – bushes. This was followed by several Heritage roses, spotted with their white and pink roses that bobbed from the breeze. The pale gold of the Limonas contrasted against the deep reds of the Black Magics. In the front was a row of stunning Limbo roses – her mother’s favorite. Two types of roses were in the center: the vibrant orange-to-pinks of the Kormarters, the sunrise roses, the roses which were _her_ favorite and were in the exact center of the arrangement. 

What she _wasn’t_ expecting to see amidst this confusing display of life and what she had never even _seen_ before were the roses surrounding her Kormarters. They were blue and white striped roses, to which she didn’t know the name or that they even existed.

But she knew the reason.

She stepped closer to the flowers that Korra had set up, taken aback by the beauty and potency of their bloom. Her motions were shaky from shock. The sentiments that she had been burying for months were forcing themselves out.

Asami kneeled down to the Limbo roses, face in disbelief. She felt a knot in her throat but held back her tears. She put her nose to the petals and inhaled the familiar scent of the flower with closed eyes. It was just as she remembered in the garden that her and her mother had tended to years ago before her passing. It was then, for the first time, that she noticed the small metal sign almost hidden amongst the flourishing blooms. She leaned closer to it and read to herself:

_In memory of Yasuko Sato._

Asami traced the lettering with her fingertips and touched her lids, struggling to keep herself together.

“I love you, mom,” she whispered, paying her respects to her late mother. She held the edge of the sign for a moment longer before rising from her spot.

She slipped between the Limbos and crouched beside the mysterious blue roses, coughing as she did so. She sniffed them and shivered, an almost cold smell radiating off of them – if that was possible.

“What _are_ these?” She leaned forward and found the small metal sign that accompanied them. “Blue striped dragons,” she read aloud in wonder. She eyed the flowers again, not believing that they were even real. She even took her glove off to squeeze the stem, fully expecting some sort of synthetic material, only to be met with a real, _actual_ stem.

There they were, right in front of her. A _blue_ rose.

“ _Her_ rose,” she half-smiled, half-frowned, knowing that was the exact reason that Korra had planted them. It was to remind Asami of her, of the Water Tribe girl that she yearned for.

She took in their arctic-like aroma once more.

“I miss you,” she whispered to the flower as if it was Korra herself, tears coming to her eyes. She tightened the hold on her phone and rose. She was falling apart.

Asami moved onto the Kormarters, moved onto the flowers she was the most accustomed with, looking for some form of stability. She inhaled their familiar scent. It wasn’t working, wasn’t bringing her the calmness she was hoping for.

If anything, it was making things _worse_.

She forced herself away from them, shoved herself out of the center of the roses and onto the pavement again.

Then, she collapsed.

She fell to her knees and cried, phone abandoned on the cold ground. She held her face in her hands as her tears fell. Asami struggled for breath. She sat back and curled into herself, trying to feel more together. Her gasps turned to painful coughs. The tears wouldn’t stop, though.

She had let her emotions build up too much. She had pushed everything down and overworked herself to sickness and a form of numbness that she thought was healing but was, in actuality, hiding.

Asami hadn’t given herself a chance to feel. She had pulled away in self-defense, in fear of falling, in fear of dependence, in fear of _weakness_. She had let herself become as dead as the autumn leaves around her, as cold as the autumn breeze.

But she wasn’t weak. She wasn’t dependent. She wasn’t dead or cold. She was just _hurting_.

Hurting because Korra was gone. Hurting because there was nothing she could do about it.

Hurting because she wasn’t sure if she would ever see Korra again.

Asami let herself fall apart in the comforting silence of the rose garden. She let herself feel ugly amongst the beauty of what Korra had given her.

But her emotions weren’t ugly. They weren’t something to hide from or something to bury down, never to be felt. They weren’t illogical. They weren’t dangerous.

_Her emotions were valid_, and it had been something she was denying herself this entire time.

All this time, all of these months that had passed, she was telling herself not to be sad, not to be lonely, not to feel these things and to just carry on like the mature adult that she was.

But maturity was not burying and numbing emotions away. Maturity was dealing with them. And dealing with them meant letting them be _felt_.

Asami brought her knees up to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her forehead on her knees as she cried. Her cold heart was warming inside her heaving chest, coming to life as the roses behind her were.

_The roses._

She lifted her head and turned to them, still in disbelief that they were blooming and strong and _alive_. She crawled over to the Limbos and caressed their thorn-ridden stems, her eyes transfixed on the color – on the _beauty_ – of their petals.

Asami pushed herself to her feet. Her legs shook underneath her. She grabbed her phone from the ground and brought the display to life.

The image of her and Korra on the lock screen brought a smile to her face in what felt like years but was only months. She flicked up to turn the camera on.

Then, she took pictures. She captured the arrangement in its entirety. Then, she moved onto individual blooms, catching their beauty at different angles. When she reached the blue flowers, she bent over and inhaled their aroma, the scent somehow making her feel closer to Korra, making her feel more _alive_.

Korra’s gift to her had come to fruition in the cold, wet autumn conditions, the rain bringing them much needed life after the drought of the summer, and their blooming persisting well past that of normal roses.

And although she didn’t know _why,_ she didn’t care. Asami simply _loved_ it.

Just as she loved Korra.

She smiled and filled her phone with pictures of the roses. She would have the best of them printed, the ones she took when her hands were less shaky and her grin was more concrete, when the tears weren’t pouring and her breath was more stable. She would litter her walls with them at work and at her desk, where several pictures of her and Korra already sat. In that way, she would always have a piece of the garden with her, always have a reminder of their beauty and the happiness they brought her.  

Once she finished, she sat beside the roses, her knees pulled up to her chest, and rested her chin on her legs once more. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. For once, she found peace in the silence. She felt a tingling in her core that she couldn’t explain. It was almost like a sense of protection, as if Korra was right beside her, holding her tight.

“I miss her,” she whispered to herself, separating her lids upon the statement. She stared at her phone, looked into the blue irises of the woman she had fallen in love with, the woman who hopelessly had her heart in a tight grip.

This made her stomach turn for a moment as the challenge of her independence came up yet again in the back of her mind. Was Asami dependent on Korra?

No, she decided. That certainly was not the case; Asami Sato was in no need of anyone to help her succeed and get where she wanted to go in life. She needed no one to sustain herself; all she needed was everything that she was, everything that made Asami Sato Asami Sato.

But that was the thing, the thing that she had been denying and burying down with her feelings; Korra _was_ part of that, she _was_ part of what made Asami who she was. She had slipped into her very being and put a part of herself there, a piece that persisted even when she was away. She noticed it in some of her behaviors, when she was stubborn and challenging, just as Korra was. And it wasn’t the _first_ time that Asami had felt this, either. It had started in the Fire Nation when she studied abroad. She found herself staring out over the water at times, gazing at the horizon as if she could see Republic City in the distance. That’s when she became aware of the piece of Korra that was part of her. That was when the longing had begun.

And now, it was worse than before, and its potency is one of the reasons Asami started pushing it down in the first place.

Though Asami was sure that it was the war that was making it so profound. For this was not a matter of need; in actuality, it was a matter of want, and it was a matter muddled with worry.

As much as she didn’t want to, she had followed the reports of the war when she could bear it.

And from what she heard, it wasn’t going well.

Many of the territories in the Earth Empire were still under Kuvira’s control. Some of the citizens even _fought_ for her. It seemed as though the reports of lost troops on the side of the United Forces increased as the months went by.

And that was when the worry came in. And the _fear_.

Asami glanced at her phone, recalling the voicemail that she had just played about an hour beforehand.

_“I’ll try to write back as soon as I can, whenever I get your letter, okay?”_

This is what frightened her. She had written Korra several times since she got this message in May.

It was now September, and she hadn’t gotten a single response.

_‘What if she was killed?’_ was always her first question when she found her mailbox empty after work.

It wouldn’t be implausible; Korra _was_ on the front lines, after all. And with all of the reports…

_‘Maybe she’s just busy_ ,’ she would justify, for fighting in a war was straining, and the constant need of being in survival mode didn’t make things any easier.

_‘Or maybe she forgot.’_ She didn’t necessarily dispute this in its entirety; Korra _did_ have a habit of forgetting to do things sometimes, like taking out the trash or paying her rent.

_‘But something this important_,’ she would question, knowing that Korra would _never_ just forget to write her back. She _always_ remembered the important things.

_‘Maybe the letters got lost_ ,’ was her go-to conclusion. This was the most probable, considering her letters first had to travel to the Fire Nation, and _then_ travel back to the Earth Kingdom and go wherever it was that Korra was located.

_‘And who knows where that could be_,’ another voice would chime in. ‘ _Who knows if she’s even here anymore?’_

And so came back the thought of death. It was this tension, this helpless feeling of not knowing whether her love was alive or not, that made her emotions and her need for Korra to be in her arms so severe.

Her nostalgia for the days before Korra was sent to war kicked in. The drumming thoughts of those days being a long forgotten memory as the weeks of silence went on took over in her darkest hours. And she found the only way she could keep herself from falling into that infinite loop was to keep herself busy and bury the cycle one shovel-full at a time.

And so she did. It was what she was good at. She kept her mind turning and her hands moving until she was too tired to go on. She’d end her day with a hot shower after spending some time with Naga and catching a small meal. She’d curl up in her sheets until her thoughts erred the edge of safe and move to her small couch to feel less lonely in her large bed. The next step, of course, was sleeping on the floor by Naga, just to feel closer to Korra.

And there were times when she thought it was all ridiculous for her to be acting this way. She was an _adult_ , not a melodramatic teenager longing for their lost love. She’d force herself to sleep in her bed, force herself to act in a way that she believed was mature when, in actuality, it was her pushing her emotions down in stubbornness until she couldn’t feel them anymore.

It was always the mornings that followed those nights when she would hear a report on the news or see something in the paper about the war, as if it were purposefully reminding her of the severity of the situation.

She’d chug her tea in those mornings, take Naga out for a short walk, and head straight to work to distract herself. She kept doing this until now, until she was too run down to keep going, until she finally had the breakdown that she needed beside the roses in The Gardens.

It was _now_ that she realized she was handling her emotions in an unhealthy way.

Asami rose to her feet and stretched her legs, too sore and too cold to stay in her folded position any more. She glanced at the roses once more and smiled, a determined sensation coming over her.

_“I wanted to do this because this is the first place we came to when we first became friends.”_

The words floated to her ears as the memory played from this past spring before Korra was sent to war.

_“I wanted it to serve as a constant reminder of our growth together, and how beautiful we’ve become, even if the process is slow and still happening – just like how these flowers take a long time to bloom and wait months and months for the cold to go away. Most of all, I wanted to plant them because of you, Asami.”_

She saw Korra turning to her, her blue eyes vibrant and full of love.

_“You’ve brought beauty into my life. And all of these flowers aren’t enough to even get close to comparing to how beautiful you are.”_

She could feel Korra’s hands holding hers.

_“I love you, Asami Sato, with all of my heart.”_

A tear fell down her cheek.

“I love you, too, Korra,” she whispered, sincerity in her voice.

She struggled with the concept, struggled with her sentiments, struggled with what she kept thinking was dependency.

But it was that moment that she realized that she wasn’t feeling this way because of insecurity or a need for affection or a crutch.

She felt this way out of love. Out of worry. Out of _fear_.

“Come back to me,” she added, her palms now at her chest, one holding the other against her coat to bring herself comfort. “Come back to me alive.”

The leaves swirled around her, reminding her of the imminent death that autumn brings.

But the roses; the roses were still alive. In fact, they were _blooming_ , just as her hope was, blossoming out of the cold, against the odds, against the death surrounding it.

And that was what Asami, too, had to do.

She turned away from the roses and left The Gardens with a sense of renewal, for her feelings were _valid_ , and she had no reason to hide them anymore.

(--)

Asami walked up the steps to her apartment door with rigid motions. While her spirit was renewed, her heart was raw, and her body was much too cold and sick to be doing all of this moving. She twisted the key in the lock and pushed the door open.

“Naga, I’m home,” she called, putting her ring on the hook near the door as she did so.

She turned to the mailbox and flipped the lid open, already preparing herself for the binary of either nothingness or an assortment of bills and junk mail that she was accustomed to.

Sure enough, there were several envelopes wrapped in a wad of advertisements in her box.

Asami pulled them out and closed the door behind her. A shiver ran down her spine and she sneezed in her coldness. She sniffled and tossed the mail on the coffee table next to Naga’s bed.

“Do you need to go out, Naga,” she asked as she blew her nose.

Naga simply stayed in her bed, showing no indication of moving any time soon.

“Alright. I’m going to go make some tea to warm up,” she hollered over her shoulder while she left the living room and entered the kitchen.

Asami pulled a teapot from her cupboard and filled it with water. She turned the burner on under the kettle and gathered some Echinacea for her sickness.

When she returned to the living room several minutes later – her cold fingers wrapped around her mug – Naga was on her feet.

“What’s up, Naga,” she questioned as she approached the coffee table.

Naga’s nose was deep in the bundle of ads. Her tail was wagging almost violently.

“Naga?” Asami’s brow rose. She set her tea down and wiped her nose with her sleeve at the same time. She bent over and grabbed the mail. She started flicking through it as she sat on the couch.

Naga jumped up beside her – taking up a majority of the space – and watched on with curiosity. Her tail was still flapping to and fro.

Asami tossed the flyers onto the coffee table before her. She took her tea and sipped on it while inspecting the envelopes.

“Bill.” She threw it on the table without looking up.

“Credit card.”

Onto the table it went.

“Bill,” she mumbled.

It, too, ended up with the others.

She was in the middle of taking a sip of her tea when her eyes fell on the last letter.

The sip turned into a choking gulp.

Naga barked as she coughed, though it wasn’t because she was coughing.

Asami set her mug down and stared at the letter in her shaking fingers, bringing it up to her face until it was inches away, making sure she was reading it correctly.

_‘Asami Sato_  
151 10 th Street  
University District, Republic City’

It wasn’t her address that was making her quiver. It was the return address.

_‘United Forces Outpost_  
1500 Ember Ave  
Sea Coast County, Fire Nation’

Naga sniffed the envelope out of curiosity and barked again. She tried to grab the parcel from Asami’s grip.

“No, Naga!” Asami’s tone was stern to hide her fear as she pushed Naga’s snout away.

Naga growled but didn’t try to take the letter again.

Asami’s heart was racing in her chest. She turned the envelope over to open it when a red stamp caught her eye.

_‘Squadron 727’_

She ripped the envelope open and pulled the wrinkled paper out from inside. She tossed the envelope to Naga and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees to steady her hands.

_‘Dear Asami,_

_I’m not sure when you’ll get this. I’m sorry it took so long. They don’t do mail runs often here, and the warzone has been too thick lately to get anyone through without some risking their lives, so we’ve had to wait until we reached a safer area. Our last carrier was shot just outside of the compound. And you wouldn’t believe how hard it is to come by paper and a working pen here, let alone an envelope._

_I miss you. I miss you so much. And Naga, too. Make sure you let her know. I’m sure you’re taking good care of her. I just hope you’re taking good care of yourself, too. I wish I was there. I don’t want to be here in the Earth Kingdom. I don’t want to be in this war. It’s_

_Asami, sorry. I forgot what I was saying. We just had to pack up and go; Kuvira’s people are on our trail. It’s quiet now, though. But it’s raining. And it’s cold. Luckily, we were able to stay in a small village that we liberated from Kuvira’s soldiers. They were actually grateful for us being here. I can’t really say the same thing for all of the villages and towns, though. Many of them are heavily united with Kuvira. I don’t think they realize the means through which she’s controlling them, or that she’s been separating people and – well, sending them to ‘re-education camps’. I’m not sure what that means, exactly, but it doesn’t seem like it’s a good thing._

_It’s confusing, though, based on what I’ve heard from the people who support her. She’s been giving the people supplies and helping them. It’s ri– it’s weird. Sometimes, these people speak so highly of her and talk about how she saved them from death. But other people speak so ill of her._

_We’ve gotten mixed receptions here in the Earth Kingdom. I’ve tried to spend time with some of the families who have been affected by the war – particularly the ones with children. Some have welcomed me into their homes while others have slammed the door in my face. A guy tried to pull a knife on me before, and that ended up with me getting reprimanded for being out of our designated camping area. The Lieutenant Colonel is a real asshole._

_Before that, I didn’t spend much time in our camps and bases. I’m put on guard duty a lot during the night, and I’m pretty sure it’s because I rubbed the LC the wrong way. Guard duty – it’s exhausting. But tonight, I get to rest. I finally managed to get a working pen and an envelope from one of the villagers, though I had to trade my extra pair of shoelaces for it. Well worth it, though, because I’ve been wanting to contact you for weeks now but haven’t had the means._

_I miss you, Asami. I dream about you all the time. They keep me sane. It’s re – it’s fucking crazy, this war. All of these people shooting at each other, and these missions and all of the de – I’m going to do everything I can to make sure I get home to you in one piece. I just want this war to be over, but it doesn’t seem like it will be ending any time soon._

_This has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. There’s so much th–shit, I’m running out of space and I don’t have enough room to write about it all. But people are fucked up, Asami. Ugh, I probably should have thought this through better before blindly writing. I only have one sheet of paper, other than the ones from the letters you sent me. I keep those in my bag for safe keeping. I keep our picture in my jacket, for safer keeping._

_I hope everything is going well for you. I’m so happy and proud of you that you got a job at your dad’s business and that you’re getting your advanced degree. I know that you’ll succeed in whatever you do. Just please take care of yourself. Try to do some things that make you happy. And try not to worry about me too much, okay?_

_I put a little present in your letter. Hopefully, they’re still in there. I found them while I was on tour near the base of some mountains we were travelling through, and I just had to grab them. I’m not sure what kind it is, but I think you’ll like it._

_Well, this is the last bit of space that I have. I love you, Asami Sato. With all of my heart.’_

Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She brought the paper to her chest and sat back into the couch. She closed her eyes and sobbed.

“Korra,” she whispered, her heaving blocking out the sound of the leaves hitting her window from the breeze.

Naga crawled into her lap and nudged her with her head.

Asami sniffled and wrapped an arm around the animal. “Thanks, Naga.” She kept the letter in her grip and hugged Naga tight. “She’s alive,” she breathed in relief. “She’s alive.” Once she calmed down and opened her eyes again, the envelope caught her peripheral.

_‘I put a little present in your letter.’_

She flipped the paper over and found nothing but the sheet. So she moved to the envelope. That, too, was empty.

Asami’s shoulders dropped. She glanced at the floor when she noticed something small on the hardwood.

_Many_ somethings, actually.

“Move, Naga,” she spoke softly.

Naga stepped aside and watched her with curiosity.

Asami slipped onto her knees and picked up what had speckled the boards. She held them up to her eyes and narrowed them in examination.

_Are these seeds?_

She rotated one of them between her fingers. Then it made sense.

Korra had gotten her seeds from a plant in the Earth Kingdom. That was her present.

She gathered them and glanced down. There were about ten of them in her palm.

_They must have flown out when I ripped the letter open_.

Asami blushed in a bout of embarrassment from her actions. Afterwards, she poked the seeds around in her hand.

_Why would she get me seeds, though?_

_Think about it, Asami. Why would Korra think seeds in the first place?_

_I don’t know, unless they came from a –_

A light bulb went off in her head.

_A rose. She got me rose seeds._

_Because you love to garden. And because gardening and roses make you happy._

A smile crawled onto her face. She closed her hand and held the seeds to her heart.

For autumn may bring about death to the leaves, but it also brings about harvest to the fruit – that of which leads to seeds. It brings beauty before the fall, and in a strange way, beauty afterwards, in the restoration and rebirth of life.

Asami opened her hand and stared at the rose seeds. Everything made sense. She felt enlightened, she felt happy, she felt _emotions_. She pushed herself to her feet, excited to sow what Korra had given her.

But Korra had given her more than what she was sure to be a beautiful rose, just as she had given her more than just a beautiful rose garden. The garden gave her a place to be strong and to find solace in her time of need, but these seeds gave her something else:

Hope.


	10. Future/Superhero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! For this chapter, I somewhat combined both the "Future AU" and the "Superhero" prompts, though in a bit of a different way from what most might expect/consider. I hope you enjoy it!!
> 
> Also, I didn't think to do this before hand, but I forgot to trigger warn this. There is smut in this chapter, as well as graphic depictions of war violence. If you would like a quick description of what happened in this chapter, please see the end notes.

“Korra?” A voice whispered to her.

She opened her eyes to see Asami shaking beside her, cheeks and nose red.

“I’m cold,” she murmured, shrinking into herself to conserve her heat. “It’s making it hard to sleep.”

Korra smiled. “Well, here: take more of the pelt. It’ll help.” She wrapped Asami up in the fur until almost every inch of her body was covered.

The corners of Asami’s lips lifted into a grateful grin. She melted into Korra’s side and curled up into her. “Is it always this cold here?”

She shook her head. “Not always. This is actually isn’t even the coldest it gets.”

“ _How_ did you survive?”

Korra laughed and pulled Asami closer. “You know me; I’m always hot.”

“Yes, you are,” Asami smirked. She pushed herself up to her knees and kissed Korra, crawling into her lap in the process. She settled and kissed her lips again. Then, she buried her cold nose into Korra’s neck. “I’m glad you’re back,” she whispered, a tremble in her voice and her hands.

Korra rubbed Asami’s back. “Me, too.”

They separated and looked into each other’s eyes, which were full of relief, exhaustion, love, and pain. They shared a slow, tender kiss before Asami nestled back into Korra.

Asami rested her cheek on Korra’s chest and listened to her heart thrum around. The rise and fall of her lungs was soothing, bringing her closer and closer to sleep.

Korra played with Asami’s hair, something that she never thought she would miss so much during her time in the war. She planted a soft kiss on Asami’s forehead, taking in her flowery scent as she did so.

“Asami,” she whispered, like she was under a spell.

Because she _was_.

“I missed you so much,” she continued, caressing her girlfriend’s hair. “And I love you, _so_ much.”

Their eyes locked.

Their lips met again.

And again.

And again.

Korra felt her face flush with each repetition.

When Asami finally pulled away, Korra remembered how to breathe.

“I love you, too,” Asami whispered in her ear. “And I missed you,” she added, lips close to her lobe, “so, _so_ much.” She skimmed the ridge of Korra’s ear with her lips and gave it a gentle tug with her teeth.

Korra suppressed a moan and turned her head, granting Asami more of her skin.

Asami kissed her way down from Korra’s ear lobe to the crook of her neck. She spent quite a bit of time there. She kissed, from soft touches to more passionate ones. Her tongue interjected at times, flicking against Korra’s tan skin between the kisses and the soon-to-be nibbles.

Korra squirmed underneath her. Her nails dug into Asami’s back.

Asami started rotating her hips against Korra’s. Her hands wandered down to Korra’s breasts and massaged them.

This brought out a deep moan from inside Korra’s chest. She arched into Asami and scratched her way down her back to her hips. She squeezed them as they circled against her. Every inch of her body felt hot. The pulsing between her legs grew with the wetness.

“A–sami,” Korra muttered, taking deep, panting breaths.

Her hands found Asami’s hair the second she started sucking on her skin. She pulled her closer, wanting more, _needing_ more, needing their bodies to have nothing between them, needing Asami’s tongue to continue tracing the same patterns against her skin as her fingers were to her nipples, needing Asami’s scent and her moans and her touch, just needing _Asami_.

Asami slid her hands down Korra’s chest and to her sides, her skating fingernails sending shivers up Korra’s spine. She found the hem of Korra’s shirt and slipped underneath it.

Korra tensed to the cold of Asami’s skin for just a moment until the heat from her own took over. She arched into Asami’s palms when they burrowed under her bra and played with her nipples directly.

To this, she moaned, throwing her head back while she did so.

“Keep going,” she whispered, her tone anything but short of begging. It had been too long since she had been touched, too long since she got to feel the sensations of Asami’s clever hands.

Too long since she got to feel loved.

Asami sat up, allowing the fur to slide down her shoulders to her gyrating waist. She tugged Korra’s shirt upward, signaling her desire to remove it.

Korra allowed it and straightened off the bed to assist.

She pulled Korra’s shirt off and tossed it behind her, wasting no time in going for Korra’s bra. She unclipped it with one hand. It, too, went to the floor.

“Fuck,” Korra moaned, her head falling back and her hands digging into Asami’s hair to push her closer into her breast.

Asami’s tongue circled around her nipple while the rest of her mouth sucked. One of her free hands teased the opposing breast while the other danced its way down Korra’s front. It played with her waistband. Her hips continued to grind into Korra.

The throbbing was taking over. Korra was sure she was starting to soak through her pants, despite their heavy nature for the cold. Her leg twitched on occasion and she held her breath every time Asami’s fingertips grew close to penetrating the barrier to her underwear.

“Asami,” she mumbled in panting desperation. “Fuck me,” she whispered, tightening her hold on Asami’s head. “Fuck me.”

In an instant, Korra was on her back. The fur was long abandoned to the floor. Her pants soon followed.

Asami crawled up to Korra’s spread legs, a dark lust in her eyes.

Korra watched her in anticipation, her chest heaving to catch her breath. Her leg twitched again. They fell open even more, _begging_ for Asami to enter them.

Asami inched closer. And closer. And closer.

Korra could feel her breath through her underwear, the exhales chilling the wet fabric. A shiver crawled up her spine. But she kept watching, kept waiting, kept silently pleading for Asami to touch her.

It had been too long.

Asami closed her eyes and kissed Korra through the cloth of her panties.

Korra’s head fell back. She arched into Asami, fists full of sheets. “Please,” she whispered, “more.”

Asami kissed her slit again, taking more of Korra into her mouth and flattening her tongue against the fabric.

She let out a moan and pushed herself into Asami with her legs. When Asami did nothing more, she begged again. “More.”

To this, Asami took Korra’s underwear between her teeth and pulled, sliding the panties all the way off of Korra’s legs.

Korra watched it all happen. Once they were off, their eyes met, a silent pleading in Korra’s and a mischievous fire in Asami’s.

She smiled, winked, and tossed the underwear to the floor with a flick of her head. She left Korra’s oceans to focus on her pinks. Asami crawled closer, her face just an inch away. Korra’s scent was intoxicating to her, and she could feel her own wetness between her legs.

“Asami,” the request came through a muffled voice as she jerked against the sheets.

Asami kissed her deeply, her palms pushing against Korra’s thighs.

Korra threw her head back and moaned.

Asami’s tongue delved into her folds, exploring, tasting, _savoring_ the woman she had missed for so long. Her fingers teased Korra’s opening as the tip of her tongue made its way to Korra’s clit. It flicked against it, soft at first, and increased speed with Korra’s panting and moaning and thrashing against the bed.

Korra’s fingers tangled into Asami’s hair and pushed her closer and closer and closer – even if it wasn’t physically possible to get any closer, it just wasn’t close _enough_.

The pressure built inside of her.

Asami didn’t even need to go inside Korra to finish her off, and she _knew_ it.

But she did it anyway.

Korra let out a deep sound, a noise she wasn’t even sure was real, as Asami’s fingers curled inside of her. She was close.

But still not close enough.

She arched into Asami, her hips grinding in time with Asami’s tongue. Her legs tensed. Everything was coming together. The pressure was insurmountable. Korra was mere _seconds_ away from her climax when a loud, booming sound shook her to the core.

Korra jumped up, panting and sweating. Her eyes scanned the area as quick as possible. It took her mind several moments to realize where she was and what was happening and that what she had saw – what was making her leg twitch and her throbbing violent in real life – was merely a dream, a hope of what may be in the future.

For her lover was _not_ in her arms – or, more accurately, in her legs. She was not in that cold bedroom making passionate love to her girlfriend.

No, she was in a place just as cold but not _nearly_ as inviting. She was in a corner, on a hard stone floor, her rifle and her bag in her lap.

Korra was no longer asleep. And the second bang outside reminded her that Korra was still at _war_.

She jumped to her feet at the screams that followed and sprinted from the civilian house, rifle in hand and bag abandoned. When she burst out the doorway, she immediately dove into the prickly brush as a plane passed overhead. Bullets pounded the dirt where she had stood mere seconds before.

_Fuck!_

She waited for it to pass before heading toward the source of the explosion.

“Korra!”

She turned to the call and headed that way, recognizing the voice as a fellow soldier. Korra rolled into the trench housing her comrades. Bullets whizzed over the tops of the sandbags that reinforced their barrier.

“Kitsune, what _happened_?!” She hollered with a frantic tone, adjusting her helmet as she did so.

“They found our location and they’re bombarding us.”

“Fuck,” Korra exhaled, her breath floating up to her sight. Adrenaline pumped through her. They had made more progress on the war since the fall, advancing on more and more of Kuvira’s army and reclaiming more and more territories from the reign of the Earth Empire.

But it was the dead of winter now, and they did _not_ have the advantage in this weather.

Most of the people who were fighting in this squadron of the United Forces were either from the Fire Nation or the United Republic of Nations. They weren’t used to this type of cold up north near the longitude of Kima and Ba Sing Se.

The winds of the mountains certainly didn’t help.

Many of the soldiers had gotten sick. Some of them almost died.

Korra seemed to be the only one who _wasn’t_ shivering from the temperature right now.

This didn’t mean that she wasn’t shaking.

She got her footing and crawled over to the edge of the deteriorating sandbag barrier. Korra peeked around the corner and retreated three times as quick when several bullets came her way. They burrowed into the icy ground just inches away.

“Fuck,” she repeated, back to the sandbags.

“We have to retreat,” Tuzi called from the other side of Kitsune.

“We can’t,” Korra responded to him, pointing to the plane that was making its way back to the village.

They watched in helpless horror as it picked off three soldiers trying to flee the area.

When it started to come towards them, Korra acted.

“Get out of the way!”

She dove and grabbed both of them by the jacket with a hand for each, her gun abandoned in her spot. Korra rotated and rolled them away from the sand barrier as a line of shots skidded across where they just were.

“Come on,” she hollered, wasting no time. She sprinted the second the toes of her boots dug into the ground, pulling Kitsune behind her by the wrist and shielding her own face with her free forearm.

They managed to make it to a building a few yards away, the shots of the helicopter enough of a distraction to prevent Kuvira’s foot soldiers from hitting their targets.

Korra slammed the door shut and locked it. She slid to the floor and panted, her throat rough and dry from the cold winter air.

Kitsune and Tuzi bent over, hands and rifles on their knees, in much of the same state.

When Korra opened her eyes, she noticed a pair of people huddling in the corner of their small home.

A woman held a child close as he cried.

Korra crawled to her hands and knees and inched towards them.

“We’re going to get you out of here, okay?”

She offered her hand to the woman.

Another bomb sounded outside. It made the walls of the house shake.

The woman took her hand, fear in her eyes. She rose from her spot, the child in her free arm against her chest. She crossed the window.

Glass shattered.

Kitsune and Tuzi dove to the ground on instinct.

Korra watched as the woman hit the ground as well, but not from purposeful action. Korra’s eyes widened in horror.

Blood pooled out of the woman’s skull and onto the stone floor. Her eyes were still open, but her body was still.

“Mom?!” The boy questioned, crawling out of her grip. He stayed close to the ground and looked at her face with horror. “Mom?!!” He shook her.

She didn’t move.

“Mom,” he cried, burying his face into his mother’s shoulders.

Korra was frozen in her spot, jaw dropped. There was a ringing in her ears.

It wasn’t until another explosion sounded and pelted the side of the house with ice and stone that she snapped from her stupor.

Korra flattened against the wall that shared the broken window. She pulled out her knife and used the reflection to peek out the window. She noticed three soldiers prone on a cliff nearby. She retreated quickly and sheathed her knife. “Kitsune, there are three snipers up top. Can you get a clear shot on them?”

Kitsune sunk into the shadow of the opposing corner and lifted her rifle. She focused her sight and cleared her mind as she always did when she was about to kill.

She picked the first off quickly with a shot to the head that shattered more glass. She shot the second in the neck before he could pull the trigger. She shot the third in the shoulder, but not before he shot her in hers.

Kitsune yelped out in pain and rolled from her spot. She held her shoulder as it bled from the bullet.

“Fuck, we have to get out of here!” Korra crawled to Kitsune and inspected her wound. “It’s deep,” she called over her shoulder. “Tuzi, keep an eye out. See if we can get the fuck out of here.” She ripped off her coat and wrapped it around Kitsune’s bullet wound in an attempt to slow the bleeding.

She started to sob; the pain was excruciating.

“Kitsune, listen to me.” Korra tied her jacket arms together after getting several layers of fabric around the injury. She tightened it for pressure.

Kitsune closed her eyes and threw her head back.

“Kitsune, look at me!”

Korra held her shoulders tight.

Watery fires met determined oceans.

“You have to focus. We have to get out of here. The sooner we do, the sooner we can get you to a medic, alright?”

Kitsune took a breath and nodded. She wiped her cheeks with the hand of her uninjured arm.

Korra nodded. “Good.”

“Korra, it’s clear!”

“Alright, come on!” She jumped to her feet as Tuzi bust the door open.

Kitsune sprinted out the door behind Tuzi, both their rifles in hand.

Korra wasted no time. She ran as fast as she could, yanking the small boy away from his dead mother at the same time. She pulled him against her chest as she crossed the doorway of the exit.

Bullets whizzed by them as they made their way to another sand barrier further back from the frontlines. They dove over the wall and smashed into the icy ground.

“Fucking hell, Korra! What the fuck were you thinking?”

“Now is _not_ the time, Gankona,” she growled, almost wishing she was back in the bullet wave rather than with _him_. She gritted her teeth until the shaking child in her arms got her attention.

Korra set him down so that his back was against the fortification.

“Got one of the fuckers!” Gankona cheered with a laugh, as if this were just another day on the hunting range.

Korra closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She ignored him and focused on the boy. “What’s your name?”

He sniveled. “My – my name?”

She nodded, locking onto his watery green eyes.

“M – Maque.”

“Maque? That’s a very nice name. What does it mean?”

“It – it means sparrow.”

“Korra, are you here to fight a war or to talk to fucking children?”

“Fuck _off_ , Gankona!” There was enough violence and threat in her tone to make him shut the fuck up, which is _exactly_ what she wanted. She had been sick of him and his voice since the first week they were shipped out, if not before then at the outpost.

Not to mention after all of the altercations they seemed to have.

She shook her head and looked back at the boy.  Her expression grew gentle. “I’m going to make sure you get out of here safe and alive, alright Maque?”

He rubbed his eyes and nodded.

“Good. You need to stay close and listen to what I tell you, okay?”

He bobbed his head once more.

“Good. Stay here, okay?”

He nodded.

Korra smiled. When she turned around, her face was full of seriousness.

Gankona laughed as he shot another one of Kuvira’s men in the face. “Headshot!”

She tightened her fists and glared at him for a second while she made her way to Kitsune. Korra kneeled beside her. “How are you feeling?”

Kitsune just shook her head.

Korra gripped her shoulders and looked deep into her fire irises. “It’s going to be okay, alright? Just stay with me. Can you do that, Kitsune?”

Another explosion went off several yards away.

Kitsune jumped into Korra’s grip and closed her eyes from the shock. She nodded, feeling safe in Korra’s arms.

“Okay. Good.” Korra released her and scanned the area around her. She could hear the airplane coming to make another round.

_If we don’t find some sort of shelter, we’re doomed._

She narrowed her eyes and looked in the distance. She could make out a small convoy of United Forces soldiers retreating to one of their armored trucks.

_If we can get to that truck, we’re safe._

The propellers of the plane grew louder. Bullets scattered on each side of the sandbag barrier.

“Guys, there’s a convoy back there, about fifty yards away. If we can make it there, we can get the fuck out of here and regroup.” She pointed to the vehicle in the distance.

Tuzi and Kitsune nodded in agreement, along with several of the other soldiers behind the wall.

Gankona was too focused on picking off Kuvira’s men to pay attention.

“Alright, now we just have to –”

A gentle clicking and rolling sound interrupted her. Her eyes widened when she saw a grenade at her feet.

“Grenade!” Tuzi hollered.

Every person froze for a moment before scattering. They started to sprint towards the convoy, each soldier attempting to flee except for Korra and Maque.

Before Korra knew it, she was acting, the back of her mind knowing that everyone was still in danger with how close this grenade was. The pops of the gunfire around her were a distant ringing. The sound of the plane approaching overhead was long lost. Her hands flew up to her helmet. She ripped the strap apart and took a firm hold of the protective casing. “Get out of here,” she shouted over her shoulder at Maque. She watched the boy run towards the rest of her soldiers in the corner of her eye as she scooped the grenade up with her helmet. Korra chucked the helmet holding the grenade away from her just as the device exploded.

Her helmet split into several pieces and shot at her, along with the shrapnel from the grenade. The largest piece of the helmet smashed right into the side of her head, forcing her into the icy ground. She pushed herself to her elbows. The cuts on her face from the debris stung. There was a hard throbbing in her skull that made her vision blur and double. Her ears were ringing from the bang of the grenade. She noticed a bullet whiz by her from above and curled her body inward, head in her hands, to shield herself from the attack.

When another grenade bounced beside her, she acted faster than before. She stayed in her prone position and launched the grenade with a roll of her body.

The second it left her hand, she took off.

She could hear a very distant holler of “grenade” from Kuvira’s frontline before the pop of the explosion.

By then, she was almost to the convoy, bullets whizzing by her and making the snow at her sides shoot up. She caught up to Maque, who was limping and bleeding in his left leg, and yanked him from the ground. She held him close.

The truck started taking off.

_No!_

She sprinted faster, watching in vain as the truck sped up more and more. She could see Tuzi and Kitsune rushing to the front of the truck, most likely to stop it from going.

But on it went.

Korra ran faster – faster than she ever had in her life – the sound of the plane and bullets growing in her ears.

When she was close enough, she shielded Maque and dove into the back of the armored truck, scraping her landing arm and rolling in the process.

Two opposing soldiers pulled on chains to shut the truck door.

Korra lay on the bed of the truck, panting and bleeding, sight twisting even with her eyes shut and a death grip on the child in her arms.

“We made it,” she whispered, bracing herself when the truck went over a rather large bump. Her head slammed back onto the bed and she winced for a moment. It made the throbbing in her head worse, but it didn’t stop her relief. “We made it,” she muttered a final time before blacking out from her injuries

(-)

“Korra? Korra?”

She groaned and shielded her eyes to the brightness around her. “Wha – what happened? Where are we?”

“We’re back near the temple in the high mountains, back at Delta Base.”

Korra rubbed the side of her head and attempted to sit up. A pain in her abdomen sent her crashing back to the bed.

“Korra, don’t move! You need to rest. You got hurt pretty bad.”

“I just got a helmet to the face,” she muttered, wincing as her palm passed over the swollen portion of her head. She opened her eyes once more to see a blurry version of Kitsune beside her, shaking her head.

“No, you got hurt much worse. Didn’t you feel the shrapnel in your sides? A huge piece of your helmet lodged into your abdomen.”

Her eyes widened in disbelief. “What?!” She tried to sit up again only to fall back into place.

Kitsune nodded. “They had to remove it on the truck on our way back. Otherwise, you would have bled out. We’re – we’re not really sure how you’re alive, right now, with all of the blood…”

Korra rubbed both of her eyes with her hands, still in shock from the news. She gritted her teeth to the discomfort and lowered her arms back onto the bed. She glanced over at Kitsune with clearer sight.

“How’s your shoulder,” she asked with a faint point of her right hand.

Kitsune squirmed in her sling. “I’ll be fine. No major damage, luckily, but it’ll take some time to heal.”

Korra pushed herself upright at an angle as she choked out her words between her teeth. “So what’s our next move?”

“ _Our next move?_ ” Kitsune repeated in incredulity. “Our next move is _nothing_. The Lieutenant Colonel is still reviewing everything that happened and trying to devise a strategy. We lost a lot of people in that attack. Most of us were injured,” she lifted her arm a few inches, “and some of us… didn’t make it.”

Korra frowned and looked down at her hands. The palms were wrapped in white gauze. “What about Tuzi? Is he alright?”

Kitsune scoffed. “Tuzi is _fine_. Not a damn scratch on the kid.”

 _The kid_.

Korra met Kitsune’s eyes. “What about Maque? Is he safe?”

She grew very quiet and averted her gaze to the floor. She replied with a small, solemn shake of her head.

Korra’s expression showed devastation. She stumbled over her words. “But – what, what happened? He was with me when I got on the truck. He was _there_. He was _safe_.”

“I know, Korra. I know. But he – he had lost too much blood when he was trying to run away. By the time we got to the two of you, you were passed out and he was in shock. We – we couldn’t save him. We could hardly save _you_.”

Korra dropped her eyes to her hands, tears blurring her vision.

“Korra,” Kitsune called to her. She wrapped her fingers around Korra’s hand. “You did everything you could. You tried.”

She hung her head lower. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

“Korra, you _do_ realize that we _all_ should have died, right?”

She lifted her head with a brow raised. “What do you mean?”

“Our situation – we were only one of three surviving convoys out of _ten_. _Ten_ , Korra. And we got the brunt of the force from Kuvira’s people.”

Her brow furrowed. “What are you saying?”

“What I’m _saying_ ,” Kitsune leaned forward just an inch, their eyes meeting, “is that we would have _died_ if it wasn’t for you.”

“For me?”

She nodded. “You got us to safety. First from the central sand barrier, then from the building, and then from the village itself.”

“ _And_ I got Maque’s mother killed and – and Maque died, and you got shot,” she looked away, more tears pouring down her face. “I– I’m –”

“You’re too hard on yourself.” She gave Korra’s hand a squeeze. “You _saved_ us. And you did everything you could to save Maque and his mom. I _watched_ you.”

“You still got you shot.”

Kitsune scoffed. “I got _myself_ shot, Korra. I made the biggest mistake I could and stayed in the same place with the low ground. And I paid for it,” she lifted her injured arm a few inches once more. “But the way you took charge and maneuvered us, the way you got that grenade away from us before it exploded and killed us all – you, you’re a _hero_ , Korra. And you survived all those injuries? You should have died with that giant piece of helmet in your gut.” She narrowed her eyes at Korra, who was avoiding hers still. “Are you sure you aren’t a superhero or something?”

Korra chuckled amidst her tears. “I’m not a superhero, Kitsune.”

“You sure? You moved _pretty_ fast back there.”

She shook her head, a smile creeping into the corners of her lips. “I’m not a superhero,” she repeated, her face growing solemn, “and I’m not a hero, either. I just did what any one of you would have done.”

“Does that _include_ Gankona?”

Korra gritted her teeth. “No. He wouldn’t have done that. He wouldn’t have given two shits about any of us dying out there.”

“You’re right, considering he shoved me and Tuzi out of the way so he could get to the truck –”

“He _what_?” Korra was staring into her eyes again, fire in her oceans.

Kitsune blushed and looked away. “Shit. I wasn’t supposed to tell you –”

“He better not show his face around here –”

“Korra, don’t.” Her tone was stern. “We don’t need any more issues with him. Let’s just – let’s just be happy that, that you’re alive.” She choked out.

Korra calmed down, worry in her expression. “Hey,” she called to her. She waited until their eyes met again before continuing. “I’m alright, okay? I’ll be fine.”

Kitsune smiled and wiped her tears away. “I was so worried that you weren’t going to make it.”

Korra grinned. “Oh, come on,” she boasted, “a little piece of plasticy metal stuff isn’t gonna take _me_ down.”

She laughed. “Apparently not.” She sighed with a smile on her face and looked away to the other side of the room. Her eyes fell on Korra’s jacket. “Oh, right! I almost forgot.” Kitsune rose and walked over to the chair. “Here’s your – um, coat.” She faced Korra and held it up with a guilty expression. “I got a little blood on it.”

“A _little_?” Korra joked, considering three quarters of the coat was stained with dried blood.

“I’m pretty sure they should have another one for you,” Kitsune reassured as she held the coat over the trashcan.

“Wait!” Korra extended her arm out and lurched forward, regretting it the moment the pains shot through her abdomen.

Kitsune froze, jacket still in hand. “What?”

“I need something from that.” Korra motioned to stand but found she couldn’t move her core an inch. “Something important!”

Kitsune crossed back over and handed Korra the coat, her brow raised in interest.

Korra dug through the jacket until she reached the innermost pocket. Her fingers brushed against the familiar piece of paper. A soft smile was on her face, though her eyes were excited. “It’s still here,” she breathed, pulling the sheet from the coat. She tossed the jacket on the ground and stared at the picture in her fingers.

The edges were a bit curled and there was a wrinkle towards the middle. The lining in the pocket kept it safe from the blood.

“What’s that,” Kitsune joined her side.

Korra’s cheeks reddened and she almost jerked away.

“Oh, she’s pretty,” Kitsune commented before Korra could hide the picture.

The flushing worsened. “T – thanks.”

“Who is she,” she asked, a mixture of emotions in her tone.

“She – uh, she’s – she’s my girlfriend, back in Republic City. Her name is Asami.” Korra stuttered, photo tight in her fingers, the image against her abdomen.

“Oh, that’s –”

“Kitsune, I told you to leave Korra alone and let her rest,” a female medic entered, a clipboard in her hand. “You’ve been at her bedside the second I released you, haven’t you?”

It was Kitsune’s turn to blush. She turned away to hide it and rose to her feet. “Sorry. I was just worried.” She scurried out of the room, avoiding both of their gazes as she exited.

Korra brought her attention to the medic, who smiled at her.

“Glad to see you’re awake and alive. I was worried about you.” She walked over to the bed and adjusted Korra’s pillows. “You need to rest, though. Alright?”

She nodded.

“Good. I’ll be back to check on you in a few hours. And I’ll keep this door locked so that your rest is _undisturbed_.” She shot Korra another grin and closed the door behind her as she left.

Korra sighed, still a bit frazzled from everything that had happened. She flipped the image back up and stared at the two of them in the mountains on the outskirts of Republic City and The Gardens. She traced over Asami’s portion with her thumb. She stared into her peridots and caressed her raven hair. Her finger trailed over Asami’s lips and she recalled her dream from earlier in the day with a blush.

 _Soon_ , she thought to herself. A tear ran down her cheek. She brought the photo to her chest and held it there. A heave passed through her. _Soon_ , she repeated, wishing for nothing more than this war to be over so that she could return to the person she loved and missed so much:

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the winter time. Korra has a dream of doing the do with Asami (future au part), but then she is startled awake by an explosion nearby. Kuvira's soldiers are attacking their camp and they have to try to fight back or run away. Korra and two fellow soldiers, Kitsune and Tuzi, take shelter in a small home to get out of the gunfire. There is a mother and child in the corner, sobbing. Korra offers her hand to the mother and tells her that she's going to get them out of this. The mother crosses the window to join Korra's side and she is shot and killed. Kitsune takes out the snipers but she is shot in the shoulder. They flee the house with the child and find shelter among another ditch with other soldiers, including the asshole-ish Gankona. A grenade gets tossed their way and Korra tells them all to run. She scoops the grenade up with her helmet and chucks it, but the grenade explodes and sends pieces of Korra's helmet barreling into her. It knocks her on the ground. Another grenade comes her way. Korra quickly throws it from her position and runs to the armored trucks nearby. She picks up the child, who has been shot in the leg and is also trying to run to the trucks, and carries him. The trucks start to leave and Korra just barely makes it on. She immediately blacks out from blood loss. She wakes up in an infirmary in one of their other bases, where Kitsune was by her bedside for a majority of the time. She learns that Gankona had shoved them out of the way so that he could get on the truck and that the boy did not make it. The nurse then shoes Kitsune away and she leaves with a blush. Korra pulls the picture of her and Asami from her jacket and misses her, telling the picture that they'll be together again soon.


	11. Warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I just wanted to take a moment to say thank-you to those of you who have read this story and have supported it thus far. I am so grateful for you. *heart*

Asami shut the door to her apartment with excitement. She had been waiting _months_ for this moment, and she wasn’t about to let anything stand in her way.

She walked up to her Satomobile with a smile, spinning the key ring around her finger as she did so. She took a deep breath, enjoying the warming smell of spring. The air was fresh and comfortable, the snow on the sidewalks was reaching its last leg of life, but more importantly, the streets were _finally_ clear of ice.

_Finally_ , she thought as she slid into her Satomobile. Her hands caressed the steering wheel with yearning. While she _did_ drive to work every day, she had been stuck under the incorrigibly slow speed of winter traffic and dangerous icy roads.

And being the speed demon she was, Asami was itching to get back on the street and put her Satomobile to the test.

She had been working on upgrades for all of winter in a small garage at her Estate, where her father lived. She went there more and more as the days grew darker and the nights grew drearier. While she _had_ been tending to the roses Korra had sent her – nursing the small seeds to life – she soon found that she needed _more_. The winter weather was trapping her inside, and there wasn’t all that much to do in her apartment other than surf the web or read a book or play with Naga. Which she still did extensively. But she needed something _else_.

It was when she had broken down on the side of the road and managed to fix her Satomobile with just a bit of duct tape from her trunk that she remembered how much she _missed_ tinkering around.

So, the trips back to her home had begun. She would journey through the cold, icy roads with Naga in the passenger seat, panting excitedly at the opportunity to run around in a more open, less crowded space. Naga, of course, _loved_ the cold, being from the Southern Water Tribe, and each time she saw Naga jump into a snow bank and roll around in absolute delight, it would remind her of when she and Korra had done much of the same last winter when they were together.

Though it was more of _Korra_ doing the diving and Asami doing the laughing until Korra tackled her or pulled her right into the snow.

They would return to Korra’s apartment on those nights cold but satisfied. Korra would make the both of them tea and start the fire place while Asami snuggled up in Korra’s loose blue sweatpants, her Water Tribe parka, and the pelt that she kept on her bed during the winter months.

Asami always remembered the smells on those nights. The scent of the fur around her shoulders. Korra’s aroma that was embedded into her parka and lounging pants. The wonderful fragrance of the jasmine tea mixed with the burning wood of the fire.

And the odor of wet dog, which she _didn’t_ care for all that much.

Asami inhaled deep to clear her nose of Naga’s stench, as if she were still there in the room with the animal and the woman she missed so much. The heat of those moments warmed her chest.

_Korra_ , she sighed inside, resting her wrists on the steering wheel. She hadn’t heard from her in months; not a single time since the last letter in the fall. It was the beginning of spring now, and Korra had been at war for almost a _year_.

Asami took another breath, helping her calm down from the threat of the sad thoughts in the corner of her mind. She breathed again, the smell of her Satomobile filling her nose instead of the wet dog she was expecting from the memories that played in her head.

_Just as it should be,_ she added.

She pushed the key in the ignition and brought the car to life. It purred under her touch. This brought a smile to her face as she remembered Korra’s words from the letter:

_“Just please take care of yourself. Try to do some things that make you happy. And try not to worry about me too much, okay?”_

A mischievous fire lit up in her eyes. She cracked her knuckles and adjusted her rearview mirror, catching a glimpse of herself in the process.

Her grin widened. She revved the engine and flipped a panel over on the front console. She pushed a small black button.

The roof of her Satomobile rolled backwards, switching it from covered to completely open.

Asami closed her eyes and inhaled, the sweet scent of spring and warmth filling her. The sun felt wonderful on her skin.

She put the windows down and placed her hand on the gear shifter.

At this moment, Asami Sato could not think of a single thing that would make her happier than to speed off in her Satomobile.

And so she did.

She started off slow, trying to make her way to one edge of the City. Once she was on the outskirts, she gunned it. Faster and faster and faster, until the wind was whipping her hair in a frenzy. She danced around any other cars in the road and slowed down for no one.

There was a genuine grin on her face. Her Satomobile was performing like no other vehicle that she had driven before – not even one of her father’s customized cars could compete with this. She shifted gears with ease, the transition smooth like cutting through butter with a warm knife.

The speed made her feel alive, just as it always did. She tightened her grip on the wheel, almost halfway across the perimeter of the outskirts of Republic City.

That’s when she heard a faint noise behind her.

Asami glanced in her rearview mirror.

“Fuck!”

Police lights flashed into view. The siren grew louder. Never before had the cops managed to catch her on her speeding joyrides, and this certainly wasn’t the _first_ one she had gone on in her life. She had managed to avoid detection, being as sly and sneaky as she was fast.

Until now.

Asami had two options; she could gun it and push her Satomobile to the absolute limits, _just_ to see how well it could perform and if it could out speed the cop car, or she could do the _right_ thing and pull over.

Part of her hesitated, that adventurous side that she had been giving little to no attention to since Korra left for the war poking through, egging her on to ‘keep going, just a little more’.

She eyed the car behind her in her side mirror. _Could_ she out speed him? She wasn’t entirely sure. He was gaining ground on her, but she wasn’t at full capacity yet, and with all of the modifications she had made...

Asami paused for another moment. After some contemplation, she sighed and lifted her foot off of the accelerator. She slowed to a stop at a curb several blocks away from her initial release of the gas. When she parked on the side of the road, her Satomobile was almost silent, the thrum of the engine minute. This made her smile, until the slam of the door of the cop car behind her pushed it away.

“Is there a problem, officer?” Asami glanced up at the man and met his amber eyes with certain _look_ in her peridots; she was well aware of her beauty and how to use it at times. She was hoping that this time, of _all_ times, she could use it to her advantage and get out of a ticket.

While the officer tried to keep a stern tone and expression on his dark, furrowed brows, he couldn’t help the minor blush that popped up on his cheeks.

_She’s beautiful_.

He shook it off inside and focused. “Do you have any idea how fast you were going?”

Asami raised an innocent brow. “Not entirely, no.”

It wasn’t a _lie_ per se; she _hadn’t_ been paying attention to her speedometer.

But she was well aware that she was going _way_ over the speed limit.

Was she about to admit it to him, though?

Absolutely not.

“Maybe you should pay more attention when you drive.” He glanced down at his pad and flipped the cover open. He started scribbling on the sheet. “License and registration.”

“But how fast _was_ I going?” Asami asked as a means to toy, stall, and through general curiosity of her gun speed.

“I pegged you at 110,” he replied, continuing to write in his booklet. “ _License and registration_ ,” he repeated.

Asami frowned, though her insides smiled at the feat. “I had no idea I was going that fast, officer.”

“You couldn’t feel or see the difference when you were going almost _double_ in a six –” He glanced up from his writing and found himself stuck in the middle of his sentence.

He didn’t know _who_ this woman was, but he just _couldn’t_ get past her beauty. She looked familiar to him, though he wasn’t sure how, and the sun was hitting her skin at just the right angle to make her purple shadowed eyes pop and her ruby lips glow.

He fought the blush on his cheeks and went back to his work. “License and registration,” he repeated, a bit lighter in his tone.

Asami sighed. She wasn’t sure she was going to get out of this one. She fished for her registration in her glove compartment painfully slow, trying to stall for as long as she could. “I’ve never gotten a ticket before,” she mumbled, “searching” for her registration.

It was right in front of her, of course. But _he_ couldn’t see that.

“A ticket should be the _least_ of your worries, with how fast you were going.” He lowered his hands and watched her lean over her center console to look for her registration.

When Asami finally drew out that process for as long as she could, she retrieved her paperwork and handed it to him.

Their eyes met once more.

He stood still, taken aback just a bit by the energy radiating off of her. He reached out with the same look on his face and pulled the registration from her hand. He glanced down at his pad and started filling in the form based on the information from the paperwork.

“What about your license,” he muttered, trying not to look at her anymore.

“Oh, right!” Asami played dumb and felt around her pants pockets.

_Wait a minute_.

She patted herself down once more.

_Shit. Where is my license??_

She searched for a third time, even scavenged the pockets of her jacket, her cool, calm, and collected persona fading fast into panic.

He raised his brow and glanced up at her during her frantic search. “Is there a problem?”

“No, no,” Asami replied quickly. She left it at that and bent over the console once more to search the glove compartment for her wallet. When it turned up wallet-less, she slammed the door shut with gusto.

He crossed his arms and shifted his weight. “Can’t find your license,” he asked with a bit of smugness in his tone.

“Let me check the trunk,” she mumbled, shutting the Satomobile off as she did so. Asami motioned to open the door and waited for the officer to step back before proceeding; the last thing she wanted was to piss him off or give him a reason to arrest her. She spun the key ring around her finger out of habit and unlocked the trunk.

He followed her and watched as she bent over into the trunk, searching the mostly empty space for a wallet or a purse that wasn’t there.

With a frustrated sigh, she slammed the trunk door shut.

“Not there?”

Asami ignored him and pulled the back door open. She inspected the backseats and even crawled through the area under all of the seats.

She growled in frustration and crawled out of her Satomobile.

_Of all the days I don’t have my license, it’s the day I get pulled over for the first time._

Asami turned to him but avoided his eyes. “It appears I’ve left my license at home.”

“Left your license at home?” He repeated with that same smugness as before.

She nodded and stared at the ground, embarrassment in her eyes.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You do know that’s _illegal,_ right? Just like how fast you were going.”

“I’m well aware,” she replied, crossing her arms and shifting her weight as she did so.

“Well, I can go look you up in the computer and see if you’re there. _Stay here_,” he instructed, taking both the registration and the booklet with him.

Asami watched him out of her peripherals and leaned her back against the side of her Satomobile. Her arms remained folded but her eyes and expression shifted from frazzled to frustrated.

_How could I be so stupid? Forgetting my license and getting caught!_

She glanced over at the officer for just a moment to get a better look at his face.

It looked familiar to her, though she couldn’t figure out where she had seen it before. He wore the standard grey and blue uniform issued to the members of the Republic City Police Department. His hair was somewhat spiky in the front and his amber eyes were framed with thick brows.

Brows that were scrunched as he searched the database.

Asami brought her attention back to the wall that she had been staring at prior when he stepped out of the vehicle.

“Miss Asami Sato,” he started, finishing up the ticket that he was writing on his paper booklet. “Related to _Hiroshi_ Sato, I presume?”

She nodded and took back the registration that he was handing her.

“You of all people should know the rules of the road.” He ripped the ticket off of the pad and handed it to her, still not looking directly at her face. “You have two weeks to pay this fine for speeding. If I catch you without a license again, I’m not going to let you off with just a ticket, got it?”

Asami bobbed her head and looked over the paper between her fingers.

_Wait, this guy’s name is Mako? Isn’t that –_

He turned to leave when Asami spoke up.

“Are you Bolin’s brother?”

He froze and faced her, suspicion in his ambers. “You know Bolin?”

Asami smiled. “I do!”

Mako narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. “How?”

“I met him at a party last year,” she leaned against the Satomobile as she spoke. “We go to the same university in Republic City.”

A light bulb went off in his head, and he remembered _why_ she had looked familiar to him when he first laid eyes on her.

“Now I remember! Bolin has mentioned you to me a few times before.”

“Hopefully, they were good things,” she half-stated, half-questioned with a smile and a flip of her hair.

This took Mako off guard. He buried another blush. “They _were_ good things. He said you were one of the smartest people he ever met.”

Asami giggled behind her hand, mostly to hide her reddening cheeks.

Mako smiled and shifted his weight, visibly easing in his tension. He seemed more like a person now instead of an officer.

“That’s very nice of him to say that,” Asami responded after ceasing her laugh.

“It is. Though, that doesn’t excuse you going 110 in a 60. Doesn’t seem very _smart_ of you.”

Asami looked away and put her hair behind her ear. “Sorry about that.”

“You could have gotten someone hurt. Or you could have been hurt yourself.” He stepped forward and lowered his hands. “Just, _try_ to be more careful next time? And don’t speed anymore.”

She met his eyes and smiled. “I won’t, no worries.”

“And keep your license _on_ you, Asami.”

Asami’s smirk grew. “I will, I will.”

He gave her a quick grin and a nod before turning away. He watched Asami climb into her vehicle with wide eyes. He saw her cram the ticket into her pocket and sink into her seat. Her hands gripped the wheel, but she didn’t start her engine yet. Mako decided to be the first to move. But when he turned the key in the ignition, nothing happened.

He furrowed his brow and turned the key again. Faint sounds muffled their way from under the hood to the interior. When he glanced up, there was a bit of smoke coming out of the front of his police car.

Mako jumped out of his car and ran to the front. He lifted the hood after having popped it before exiting. Smoke rose up into his face, forcing him to cough and move away.

Asami was in the motion of putting her key in the ignition when she heard the commotion. She glanced up and saw the sight before her in the rearview mirror.

There was much less contemplation between her doing the right thing and her leaving than there was before.

“What happened,” she called as she rushed over to him, guiding him away from the smoke.

He bent over and coughed until his lungs filled with fresher air. “I don’t know. I tried to restart the car and it started smoking.” Mako walked back over to the hood and waved the smoke away. He motioned to touch one of the hoses when Asami pulled him away.

“Are you _crazy?!_ The engine is _way_ too warm; you’ll burn yourself.” She guided him several feet away and returned to the smoking automobile solo. She waved some of the smoke away and glanced at the machinery under the hood.

_It’s way too hard to see everything._

_Perhaps, I can …_

“Where are you going,” Mako questioned as Asami made her way to the driver’s side of _his_ vehicle.

She crawled inside and searched for the ignition.

The engine stopped making muffled noises, the smoke too thick for Mako to see her in his car.

Asami reemerged with the keys and tossed them to Mako. “ _Don’t_ touch it,” she asserted. “It’s too warm. You need to let it cool down first.” She leaned back over the hood and waved some of the smoke away.

“How do you know anything about cars?”

Asami glanced over her shoulder and met his eyes with a smile. “Who do you think made all those modifications to my Satomobile to make it go so fast?” She brought her focus back to the steaming rubber pipes and noticed a bubbling liquid on the hot surface of the engine.

Mako crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at Asami’s back. “Wait, I thought you said you didn’t _know_ how fast you were going.”

She ignored this and kept inspecting the equipment. She traced the issue to a broken coolant line, which looked to have blown rather recently. “Your coolant line is broken,” she hollered, angling her face around the shredded tubing. “That’s why your engine got so hot. And that’s why it’s smoking now; the coolant is all over the metal of the engine.” Asami blew some air on it to try and see the damage better. “You’re going to have to wait a while for this to cool down before you can do anything to fix i–”

Just then, the boiling liquid burst into flames.

“Fuck!” Asami straightened and faced him in a flurry. “When was the last time you got this _serviced_?”

He scratched his head. “I’m not sure, to be honest.”

Asami shook hers as she sprinted past him, scolding along the way. “You need to get this stuff checked out so that this type of damage _doesn’t_ happen.” She dug her keys from her pocket and ran to her trunk.

Mako watched with an intrigued and worried look on his face.

She spun back around with a fire extinguisher in her hands, which she always kept in her trunk in case of emergencies such as _these_. Asami grabbed the hose and pulled the pin. She aimed at the base of the fire and squeezed the handle.

Foaming chemicals shot out from the nozzle and smothered the fire in Mako’s hood.

When the smoking stopped, Asami lowered her arms and took a breath, thankful that the fire hadn’t burned _her_ in the process when she was so close to the engine earlier on. She set the extinguisher on the ground and walked back to her trunk, running her hands through her hair as she did so.

Mako’s astonished eyes followed her, the rest of his body frozen in place.

Asami pulled a roll of duct tape from her trunk and a large, black cloth. She approached the hood and began wiping away the chemicals from both the extinguisher and the coolant. “Do you have any spare parts in your trunk,” she asked over her shoulder.

It took him a moment to find words. “I – uh, yeah, I think I might? I’m not sure. Let me check.” He fumbled with the keys as he walked by Asami. He pulled the trunk open to find it void of anything but jumper cables. “I’m assuming jumper cables won’t work, right?”

Asami shook her head, though he couldn’t see it due to the hood. “No,” she replied loud enough for him to hear. She blew on the warm engine again, trying to get it to cool further.

That was when she noticed the nitrous hose.

“Go in my trunk and hand me my knife,” she called to him, making quick work of removing the damaged coolant line from its connections. “It’s in the small toolbox, top drawer.”

_She has an entire toolbox in here?_

Mako scurried over to her trunk and pushed the opening more. There was a small, two tier toolbox in the back corner of her trunk. He slid it closer and retrieved the knife. “What do you need this for,” he asked as he handed it to her. He watched her work, now that the smoke was lighter, if not almost gone.

“I’m cutting the hose off of your nitrous to use for your coolant,” she described while slicing through the nitrous tubing. “You won’t be able to use your nitrous boost for your engine oxygen combustion until you get this fixed, but I can seal this off with the duct tape for now so that you don’t lose any gas from your nitrous tank.”

_Why does he have nitrous in the first place?_

_Because he’s a cop, Asami? Remember? The one that was catching up to you when you were zipping down the road?_

_Oh, right. Well, that explains why he was able to go so fast…_

She exchanged the blade in her hand for the duct tape beside her. She bent a small amount of the tubing that she left on the nitrous line over and wrapped it up tight in several layers of duct tape. Once she determined it was gas-tight, she moved on to the coolant line.

Asami was able to make the connections to the coolant line with minimal amounts of improvisation and large amounts of screw tightening and, yes, duct tape. It was one of an engineer’s two best friends, after all.

“Now this is _definitely_ not a permanent fix,” she started, finishing up her work and making sure the connection was strong, “but it should be enough to get you to the nearest mechanic without paying for a tow truck to come in.” Asami straightened and wiped her dirty gloves on her dark brown pants. She gathered her tools and trudged over to her trunk. She tossed them inside and fumbled through the small containers of chemicals she had kept in her Satomobile, _specifically_ for this test run of her speed and power modifications.

_He doesn’t have to know about that, though_.

Luckily, she had a very small bottle of coolant that she had packed last minute in case her own coolant lines burst. She turned to him with a smile and added a small amount of coolant to his machinery.

Asami leaned close and inspected the hose.

_No leaks. Perfect._

She added a bit more and popped the cap back on.

“Wow, Asami. Bolin was right,” he mentioned – a bit agape – as she walked past him to get to her trunk. “You really _are_ smart.”

Asami couldn’t help but smile to the compliment. “I _am_ an engineer, after all.” She slammed the trunk shut and faced him. “You should be all set to go now. Just take it easy on the riding and _take it in_ _to get serviced_.”

He grinned and nodded to her. “Thank-you so much, Asami. If there’s anything I can do to repay you, let me know.”

She put a hand on her hip and smirked. “You could _always_ rip my ticket up, you know.”

Mako furrowed his brow. “Doing nice things for officers won’t get you out of breaking the law, Asami.”

She pouted in a way that reminded her of Korra. Her heart twisted a moment, but she hid it well. “Damn. Well, it was worth a shot.”

He chuckled and adjusted a loose button on his uniform. “Well, thanks again, Asami. I appreciate you helping me out.”

Asami grinned. “You’re welcome. Thanks for giving me a ticket,” she replied sarcastically, which got another laugh out of Mako.

He paused, something urging him into action.

He went with it.

“Well, maybe I’ll get to seeing you around sometime. I’m sure if you’re friends with Bolin, we’ll see each other again. Maybe we could – uh – get together and hang out sometime?”

To this, Asami smiled. It had been a while since she had seen Bolin – maybe a bit _too_ long. Perhaps a get-together _was_ in order for them. “Sure, Mako. That sounds nice.”

He smirked and watched from a few feet away as Asami walked to the front of her car. She crawled inside and started her engine, hers running smooth, quiet, and not-on-fire. He almost waved but thought against it. Instead, his amber eyes followed Asami while she pulled off into the road and sped away – over the speed limit already, from what he could tell.

Mako shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. A deep sigh escaped him as the feeling that this would not be the _last_ time that he’d cross paths with the law-breaking side of Asami welled up inside of him.

_As long as she’s careful, I guess._

He stared out into the now-empty road, wondering just _when_ he’d get to see Asami Sato again – law-breaking side or not.


	12. Anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm sorry this is a few days late; I've been super busy and haven't had the time to edit this to post until now. As you can probably predict, the next prompt is going to be a bit late too. My apologies.
> 
> I wanted to trigger warn this ahead of time because this chapter is... well... tw for drug use, strong depictions of violence, and references to sexual assault. There is a summary of what happens at the end of the chapter if you would prefer to read that instead.

Korra sat down on her bunk and fished a wrinkled piece of paper from her pocket. She dug in her jacket for a pen she had found on the ground during their travels through the outer slums of Ba Sing Se and scratched it against the sheet. When nothing transferred, she licked the tip and scribbled again.

Still nothing.

Korra’s brow furrowed. She shook the pen as hard as she could, trying to get the ink to flow.

_Come on!_

With a grunt at the end, she put the pen to the paper for a final time. She ran it vigorously along its surface.

“Yes!”

A huge sideways grin hit her lips.

_ Finally _ . 

She huddled into the corner of her bunk and tucked her knees up, trying to use them as a hard surface. When that resulted in the pen pushing right through the sheet, she frowned and flipped her position, using the wall instead to write.

Korra leaned forward until she was just a few inches from the paper. She wrote in small sections, having to shake the pen every now and then to get it to work.

_‘Dear Asami,_

_I hope everything is going well for you in Republic City. I haven’t heard from you in a few months, since around winter time or so. Maybe before. It’s hard to keep track of the days sometimes. I lost all of my belongings in a raid that happened in the dead of winter, including the letters from you that were in my bag. I still have our picture, though. I look at it every night before I go to bed – well, when I get to go to bed. Things have been rough lately. We’ve been here for almost a year now – just a day shy – and it still doesn’t seem like we are making much progress on the war._

_Luckily, we have a bit of a safe haven for the next few days. We’re approaching the center of Ba Sing Se based on some intel that Kuvira might be stationed in the Palace so that we can end this. It’s tough, though; it is not an easy thing to get through the massive walls of Ba Sing Se. We’re in the outskirts right now, in the slums. We have a very small base here that we were able to win back from Kuvira’s control. It’s pretty fortified, so we should be safe for a while. The people here are a bit mixed about our presence, too, which seems to be happening in every village and town we go to. Some of them are still loyal to the queen despite her death, and they’ve actually helped us overtake the base. Others, well… not so much._

_It’s nice to have a roof, though. I spent a lot of the past winter and spring in tents when I was lucky, or in the trucks when we could. I wish I had my pelt that I had packed in my original bag. But I suppose I should be thankful I even got another bag and blanket; supplies have been running pretty thin lately the deeper we get into Earth Empire territory, and the lieutenant colonel isn’t exactly fond of me._

_I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write to you. I hope you got my two letters in the winter and the spring, though. I miss you so much, Asami. I think about you every night._

_And I know this won’t get to you in time, since I’m writing it the day of, but Happy Anniversary! It doesn’t really feel all that much like an anniversary though, does it?’_

Korra sighed and shook her pen for the tenth time, a frown on her face.

_‘I wish I could be there with you in Republic City to celebrate. Or that I had something to give you. But I don’t have anything, really. I’m sorry. I hope that you’re taking care of yourself, though, and taking care of Naga._

_Sometimes, it keeps me up at night, when the flashbacks don’t. I think of you and I wish I could have you in my arms. I know this probably isn’t easy for you, but the end of the war is getting near._

_At least, we hope it is._

_I’m not sure how much longer we’ll have to be here. I heard they might be sending some new recruits in. I really hope they don’t send Bolin. It’s not that I don’t miss him, which I do! He’s one of my best friends._

_It’s that – I don’t want him to be in this. The movies and books glorify war so much, but it’s terrible, Asami. People get shot in the blink of an eye and they don’t come back._

_It’s terrifying.’_

Korra took a breath and closed her eyes, trying her damnedest to calm her shaking hand.

_‘It’s scary. I’ve seen people shot right in front of me. I’ve tried to save others. Training as a vet has actually helped a lot in that regard. While they aren’t quite dogs, bleeding and stopping the bleeding is pretty much the same. Though, some of the people here are dogs, and not in the literal sense. There are some fucked up people here, Asami. And I ’_

Korra halted when she heard hollering down the hall.

_What’s going on now?_

She sighed and set her pen and paper down next to her bag. She made her way through the corridor with haste, the sides of her open jacket fluttering behind her as she went. The closer she got, the clearer the noise became.

But it wasn’t so much noise as it was a chant.

Korra pushed the door open as the hoots and hollers of “chug, chug, chug,” pounded in her ears. She was taken aback when she saw several people holding Tuzi down as they poured a bottle of pijiu down his throat.

When the container was empty, they all cheered and released him.

Tuzi crawled to his feet, his head swirling. It had been his fifth or six, which were seven over his limit. He rushed past Korra and vomited in the garbage near the doorway.

“Oh, Tuzi, it looks like you’re going to have to start over.” One of the male soldiers called to him from the group.

Korra heard another wretch and put her foot down.

“He’s not doing _anything_.”

She turned to her friend and rubbed his back.

“Get it out of your system, Tuzi.”

He nodded, not even aware of who was beside him, and threw up once more.

“What a fucking wimp.” One of the other soldiers hollered.

“Do you _always_ have Korra fight your battles for you?” Another laughed.

“Fuck _off_.” She growled back before returning her attention to Tuzi. “Ignore them.”

It was when Korra felt a half-full bottle of pijiu hit the back of her head that she decided to take action.

She tried to jump to her feet but a hand around her wrist stopped her.

“K – Korra? Don’t – don’t leave.”

Korra looked at him with sympathy. She took a breath to calm her anger as she was taught to do back in Republic City and helped Tuzi to his feet. Her patience was wearing thinner and thinner with this lot of Fire Nation Soldiers, and they _certainly_ knew her opinion of them with how much she vocalized it and told them time and time again to ‘fuck off’.  She turned her back to them, Tuzi’s arm around her shoulder for support, and made her way to the exit with her intoxicated friend. 

“Fucking savage _bitch_ ,” one of them murmured in a drunken stumble and threw another bottle at her.

This one was empty. It smashed at her feet.

Korra halted, closed her eyes, and took another breath. She recognized that somewhat-deep voice; it wasn’t hard to tell it was Gankona. As much as she wanted to throw Tuzi off of her and punch the fucker in the face, she _couldn’t_ ; Tuzi would probably break his neck from the fall with how drunk he was.

_Just let it go._

She inhaled once more. When her lids separated, she pushed her way through the door, ignoring the cackling behind her and the faint complaints from Tuzi about her squeezing his wrists too tight.

Korra took him to the women’s bathroom and leaned him against the wall near the sink.

“What the hell were you _thinking_?” She growled, turning the tap on in the process. She cupped water in her hands and splashed it on Tuzi’s face.

He jerked from the cold of the water and stumbled, using the wall behind him as a support.

“I – I don’t know. I just… I wanted to forget.”

“Forget _what_?”

“ _This._ ” He barked back, gaining some control over his motor skills. His hands clenched to fists. “This _fucking_ war. And all the death and bullshit and everything else that goes on.” He took a step towards her, anger in his stance, only to fall over to the sink and vomit in it.

“Fucking hell,” Korra grumbled, holding him up before he could collapse onto the floor.

It was then that she realized he was sobbing.

“I can’t do it anymore, Korra. I – I can’t. I’m not strong enough.”

Korra slid him to the ground and propped him up against the wall. She cupped more water in her hands but this time, offered it to him. “Drink. It’ll help.”

“The only thing that will help is pijiu,” he yelled, smacking her hands away.

The water splashed onto the tile of the floor.

“I just want to forget,” he cried, curling into himself. “We’ve been here for so long, Korra. I – I –”

Korra embraced him as gentle as she could. “I know, Tuzi. I know. But getting shitfaced isn’t going to solve anything. You’re just putting a bandage on a symptom, not curing it.”

“Well how the _fuck_ am I supposed to cure this fucking war?” He pushed her away, anger in his eyes again. “I can’t just _run away_. It’ll bring dishonor on my whole family! Not to mention, I’ll go to jail as a deserter.”

“I’m not saying run away.”

“Then what _are_ you saying?”

She looked deep into his pupils, his alcohol laced breath suffocating her. “I’m saying you have to _survive_. It’s the only way you’re going to get out of this alive.”

He shook his head and looked away, tears rolling down his cheeks. “What if I can’t? What if I don’t make it? What – what if I don’t want to?”

Korra’s heart dropped. She gripped his shoulders to get his attention.

Once their eyes locked, she continued.

“You’re going to make it, Tuzi. And I’m going to make sure that you do. Now get the _fuck_ up and drink some _fucking_ water.” She forced him to his feet and bent him over to the sink. Korra turned the tap on. “Drink. _Now_.”

Tuzi sucked some water in and swallowed. After a few more gulps, he pushed himself away. “I want to go home,” he spoke as he swayed. A sob escaped his chest. “I want to go home.”

Korra put a hand on his shoulder. “We all do. The only way we’re going to get there is to get out of this war. And it looks like the only way we are going to get out of this war is by _winning_ it. And we can’t win it if you’re drunk off your ass.” She slung his arm around her back and eased him to the door. “How long have you been drinking with _Gankona_?” She spit his name out like poison on her tongue.

“A few days. Since we got here and realized there was alcohol. I – wanted an escape. And I wanted to fit in.” He stumbled over his steps.

Korra caught him.

“Things are different when you’re forced to bunk with him. I didn’t want to be an outcast anymore.”

Korra lowered her eyes to the floor, knowing the feeling too well. She shook her head and kicked his door open.

There, on the mattress opposite of Tuzi’s bed, sat a sobbing Kitsune. There was a bruise on her left eye. Her lip was swollen. Though it wasn’t by much, her clothes looked tattered and disheveled. She glanced up and met Korra’s eyes, instant fear radiating from hers.

“K – Korra? What are you doing here?”

“I should be asking _you_ that,” she replied with a stern tone. She lowered Tuzi into his bunk and rushed over to Kitsune. She sat beside her and stared deep into her eye, inspecting it. “What the hell happened to you?”

Kitsune looked away and took a shaky breath. “I – I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

Korra was having none of this. She held Kitsune’s shoulders and brought her attention back to her worried oceans. “Kitsune. _What happened_?”

Her lip quivered. She caved and buried her face into Korra’s shoulder.

Korra could feel the tears wet the fabric of her open jacket, all the way down to her undershirt.

“I – it – it was – Gan – Gan – Gankona.”

Korra tensed. She pushed Kitsune away to look into her eyes once more. “What do you mean? He did this to you?”

She nodded and avoided Korra’s intense gaze.

Her grip on Kitsune grew stronger. She could feel the onset of shaking in her arms. “ _What_ did he do to you, Kitsune? Is this all he did? And _why_ did he do this to you?”

“Because he’s an _asshole_.” She closed her eyes. More tears spilled out over her cheeks. “Korra, please,” she heaved.

“What happened, Kitsune?”

“I – I was – was on my way to my room, when he strong armed me. He pin – pinned me against the wall and then he – he forced me into his room. This room. He was bunking with Tuzi. I had hoped Tuzi would be here, but he wasn’t. He – he –” Kitsune collapsed into Korra once more, too shaken to continue.

It didn’t take Korra long to put it together. The sheets beneath them were slightly creased and ajar. Kitsune’s hair was disheveled. And if Gankona wanted to beat the shit out of her, she’d have more than just a bruised eye and a swollen lip.

But no, he wanted something else, and Korra knew _exactly_ what that was.

And at that moment, she saw red.

Korra rose to her feet, fists clenched at her sides.

“K – Korra?” Kitsune watched as Korra turned to the door. “Where are you going?”

This got even the drunken Tuzi’s attention. He sat up as Korra stormed out.

They followed her, Tuzi slightly behind Kitsune because of his intoxication.

“Korra? What are you doing?”

Korra pushed the doors open and scanned the room full of soldiers until her eyes caught sight of one person in particular.

He finished drinking from a bottle and swallowed as Korra approached him. He was too drunk to see the fire in Korra’s eyes. Instead, he chuckled. “Oh, look who’s here bo–”

That was all he got out before Korra’s fist struck him in the jaw. He stumbled back, bottle still in hand.

The entire room went silent. Kitsune and Tuzi stood in the doorway, mouths agape as the rest were.

Gankona swayed and put his fingers to his lip. The tips came back red. When he glanced up, he saw an angry Korra standing before him. A split second later was another fist to the same side.

The force was enough to send him into the wall behind him.

Korra aimed another punch at his nose.

He jerked his head to the side, finally realizing what was happening.

Korra’s fist smacked right into the concrete. She was _sure_ she felt a bone crack, if not several. The shock was powerful enough to shoot all the way up her arm.

She had no time to recover, though, as a bottle raced at her face.

Gankona hit his mark, smashing the glass into pieces.

Korra fell to the ground, the impact making her sight swirl. When it refocused, Gankona was on top of her.

He sent a punch to her face.

It hit.

He sent another from the opposite hand.

It hit.

It hit.

He tried a fourth, but Korra stopped him with a forearm block.

She struggled against his body weight and the force of his drunken blows. The red rage would not cease in the corners of her eyes.

He attempted a strike with his other arm, but Korra blocked it as well.

They fought each other for power, Gankona trying to inch his arms closer to Korra and Korra doing everything she could to keep him away.

When she finally managed to push his arms to either side, she attempted to punch him in the throat.

Even drunk, Gankona was fast. Fast and _big_. He put pressure on Korra’s abdomen with his weight alone and parried her jab. Soon, his hands were around her neck.

“Die you fucking savage _cunt_!”

Korra refused to give in, the ire in her too potent. Sparks flicked in her sight, intermingling with the red. She put all of her might behind her right fist and sent it barreling at his nose.

Lucky for her, he was just a few inches away from her. She hit her target with perfection.

Gankona stumbled back, giving Korra just enough space to push herself away with her legs. She slid across the floor, blood dripping into her eyes. She glared up at him and growled, forcing her way up to her feet.

He was already barreling at her, the pain not registering in his intoxication.

It was then that she noticed he had a knife.

Korra sucked herself in and jumped backwards to avoid the swipe of his blade.

He extended his arm the other way, aiming for her face.

The knife made contact with the corner of her cheek. She cried out in pain and staggered from the quick burn of the cut. When she glanced up, the blade was lunging right towards her gut. Korra sidestepped out of the way, narrowly avoiding the stab.

Gankona snarled and turned to her.

Korra tried to punch him again, but he blocked it.

He shot the knife out at her throat.

Korra’s arm went up in an instant, bringing his attack to a halt. She swept her arm outward in the same motion and twisted his, forcing the knife to fly from his grip.

It bounced off the floor several yards away.

Korra maneuvered behind him and pinned his arm against his back.

Gankona surprised her and sent her flying much like his blade with a powerful back kick to her ribs.

Korra smashed and rolled across the concrete ground, tattering and scraping both her jacket and her skin in the process. Before she could gain her footing, Gankona sent another powerful kick to her ribs.

If they weren’t broken before, Korra was sure they were now.

She curled into herself and held her abdomen, horrible pain shooting up into her. She was forced onto her back with a push on her shoulder.

Gankona crawled onto her and struck her several times in the face.

Blood dripped down her skin. Her face was on fire with pain and swelling. Her arms fell limp at her sides, her breathing erratic.

A horrible grin curled up on Gankona’s lips.

It was a smile that she knew she would never forget, should she live through this.

He pulled the open ends of her jacket apart, eyeing the prize he was going to claim.

Korra motioned to stop him when he punched her solar plexus. She gasped for breath, each inhale that tried to come making her rib pain worse.

“Well what do we have here,” he taunted, pulling the folded picture from Korra’s jacket.

She tried to reach up to him but found her arm wasn’t moving. She simply coughed on blood and fought for breath.

“Awww, is this your _girlfriend_ ,” he flipped the paper around and pointed to Asami in the image. “She’s _beautiful_ ,” he sneered, darkness in his eyes. He ripped the picture in half down the vertical, separating Korra from the image.

Her heart wrenched at the sound. She could feel it drop just as the portion containing her face fell to the floor.

“I think I’m gonna find her once this war is over,” he snarled under his breath, leaning closer to her, “and I think I’m gonna _rape_ her next.”

Korra lost it. Any amount of control that she had in her conscious or subconscious was completely gone. Rage and ire and pure _hatred_ filled every cell in her body. Memories flashed back to her, horrid images of seeing Asami sprawled out on the floor at a party, drugged and unconscious, a man crawling over her body with lust in his eyes.

Her wrath was only a speck back then in comparison to now.

Korra’s hands had no time to shake from her fury. She punched him square in the throat with every ounce of her newfound strength.

Gankona fell backwards, picture abandoned to the floor. He held his neck, fighting for breath.

She was on top of him in an instant. She punched him in the face with her right, ignoring the horrible pain that shot into her arm because of it.

He tried to block her left, but she was too strong.

She shoved it away and continued her assault.

Another block.

She twisted his arm to free the path to her target.

It was becoming a blur, the sound of each collision and the grunts coming from Korra as she struck him echoing against the walls, the sound moving around the motionless people in the room.

But Korra was far from them. She wasn’t in that room at all. She was back in the dark, back at the party a year ago, punching Asami’s aggressor in his bloody fucking face. It morphed into a bright room, one that was lit just as much as where she _actually_ was. But it was empty. Only Korra and Gankona were in this room, and she kept assaulting his face until she could no longer feel her fists.

From this, she reached down her curled leg and into her boot. She pulled her knife out of its sheath and held it to his throat, just a small jerk away from slicing right into his esophagus.

“You think it’s fucking _funny_ , don’t you?!” She leaned over him, blood dripping from her own facial wounds. “You think it’s fucking _funny_ , huh!?!” Her voice boomed. She moved an inch closer to him, her vengeful eyes meeting his fearful ones. “You think it’s fucking _funny_ to rape someone? To beat them and force yourself inside of them against their will?!” She growled, a hand squeezing his throat while the blade remained against his skin. “Fucking **_answer me_**!!! You think this is a _fucking game, huh? Is this a fucking game to you?_”

When there was no response, she grew more violent.

“How about _this_ fucking game?”

Tears rolled down his cheeks as the blade started to slit into his taut skin. It wasn’t enough to split the tissue or cut through his esophagus, but it was enough to make him feel the pain of the blade.

And feel the terror in his pounding heart.

“What in the hell is going on here?”

Everyone but Korra glanced up in horror as the Lieutenant Colonel’s voice shook them to the core.

His eyes fell on Korra and Gankona.

In an instant, Korra was ripped away from Gankona, though she didn’t leave reluctantly.

“Get the fuck _off_ of me!” She hollered, thrashing her arms and legs, trying to break free of whoever was holding her. She swung the knife out in front of her until it was pried from her grip, her red rage blinding her from everyone except Gankona, who laid choking and sobbing and bleeding on the floor. She struggled all the way into whatever corridor she was being taken into, and it wasn’t until a blunt object smashed into the back of her head did she snap out of her fury.

Her sight came back to her in a swirl. She was in an office, slouched in a chair. There was blood dripping from her face onto her uniform. Her right hand was red and mangled. It hurt to breathe. Her ribs ached. Her face felt afire. She lifted her eyes up to the man in front of her, who was leaning over his desk with his palms flat against the top.

“What the _hell_ are you doing?”

Flames flicked into her eyes.

_The Lieutenant Colonel._

“You think it’s just alright to assault and almost _kill_ a fellow soldier?”

“He’s not a soldier,” she choked out, just now realizing how fucked up her jaw was. “He’s a fucking abusive, cowardly _asshole_.”

“He is a soldier and you had better learn to _respect_ him.”

“Oh, and I’m _not_ a soldier?” She growled back. “Kitsune isn’t a soldier, either? Doesn’t _he_ have to respect _us_? Or is this just a one way street?”

“He doesn’t have to give you _shit_ that you don’t deserve,” he snarled, hatred in his eyes.

“I don’t _deserve_ respect? Kitsune doesn’t _deserve_ respect? Are we just pawns to you? People you can send out to the frontlines and toss and throw away like your little fucking _play things_?”

“You are and will be whatever I _tell_ you to be!”

Korra clenched her fists, as much as it hurt to do so. “So it’s okay for Gankona to drink and _rape_ Kitsune?” Her jaw was set, the blaze in her eyes intensifying.

“I want you to listen to me loud and clear and get this through your _fucking_ head,” he leaned closer to her, meeting the level and intensity of her glare, “ _women don’t win wars. Men do. The women are here to serve the men while the men serve the nation._” He bent forward. “They’re here to do what it takes to keep the men charged and strong, whether it’s bringing them their food or taking a bullet or an occasional _fuck_. Satisfied men win wars. And the women are and always _will_ _be_ in the back while the men are the heroes.”

Korra couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She struggled to find her voice in both her shock and her anger. “You’re just going to let this _slide_? You’re just going to let Gankona and the rest of the soldiers _fuck_ _us against our will_?”

“If that’s what it’s going to take to win this war, then that’s what it’s going to fucking take!” He yelled back, slamming his fists on the table. “And as long as I’m in charge, then that’s how it’s _always_ going to be. Are we clear?”

The ire returned to her. She pushed herself to her feet. “No, we _aren’t_ fucking clear. If you think for one _second_ that I’m going to just stand aside and let these assholes _rape_ Kitsune and every other woman in this squadron, then you clearly didn’t read my background check before you signed me on for this motherfucking war,” Korra growled, taking a step forward.

He looked back at her, frustration in his eyes.

“And if you don’t like it, fine. Kick me out of the army. Send me home. Imprison me. I don’t give a _flying fuck_.” She tightened her fists and took another step. “But you’ve got another fucking thing coming if you think I’m going to just sit idly by and let this happen. You can go _fuck_ yourself for all I fucking care.” Korra put her palms against his desk and matched the level and intensity in his eyes. “And if you’re gonna fucking kill me over this, then you better make sure the gun is to the back of my head, because that’s the only way you’ll _ever_ be able to stop me.”

They glared deep into each other’s eyes, hatred and fury pouring out of their irises.

Korra maintained her stabbing gaze.

The Lieutenant Colonel narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brow.

“Get the _fuck_ out of my office,” he sneered.

“Gladly.” Korra pushed herself off of his table and walked strong and tall, going so far as to turn her back to him in her defiance. She twisted the knob to the door and left, not a single bullet in her back.

Though this didn’t mean his gun wasn’t drawn.

(-)

Korra made her way to her room, passing through the main hall with her head held high. There was blood and glass spattered on the floor. It was then that the cuts she had gotten from the bottle on her face and her arm began to sting, as if reminding her of the incident from sight alone. She glanced around for the torn picture of her and Asami and found nothing.

_Of course,_ she groaned to herself, holding her ribs along the way, _one of those assholes probably took it._

She dragged her feet to the bathroom. She made her way to the toilet and vomited up blood.

“Fuck,” she whispered to herself, realizing the severity of her wounds. She pushed herself back up, all stamina and strength gone, and slid herself to the sinks. She stared at herself in the mirror, her face bloody, cut, and bruised. Korra dropped her eyes to the floor, a multitude of feelings swarming her. She took a deep breath only to have it sting from her ribs.

She held her side and grunted.

_I need help._

Korra forced herself out of the bathroom and made her way to the infirmary, posture tall once more.

But her eyes told it all; Korra was in terrible pain both physically and emotionally.

She approached the infirmary door and twisted the handle, only to find it locked.

_Are you fucking kidding me?_

She jingled the knob violently, and if she had more strength in her, she would have kicked the door down.

The light inside got her attention. She stood on her toes and peered in the window.

Gankona sat on a bed, a zoned look in his eyes. The male medic was looking over his shoulder at Korra, alerted from the door handle shaking.

The medic scowled at her and pulled the curtain around so that she couldn’t see him or Gankona, as if they weren’t in the fucking room at all.

Though this wasn’t before Korra noticed the fear in Gankona’s eyes, a tremor that she attributed to just her presence alone.

_Good,_ she noted, feeling less remorse for her actions than before. _Good_.

She put a hand to her side and limped her way back to her room, unaware that her leg had gotten injured in the first place.

_Fuck, I wish she hadn’t gotten shot,_ Korra thought to herself, frustrated over the fact that the only female medic in the squadron was killed not too long ago. _She would have treated my injuries_ , she added, her exhaustion and burning pain taking over.

“ _Fuck_ him,” she whispered, knowing in all reality that there was nothing she could physically do to fix the situation.

Korra pushed the door of her room open, and there were Kitsune and Tuzi, quiet and distant on her bed.

They glanced up at her, a mixture of emotions in their eyes. She could pick out a few of them, though she wasn’t entirely sure of herself with her spinning head. She thought she saw gratitude or perhaps a hint of pride.

But the majority of what she saw was _fear_.

Fear for or of who, she wasn’t sure. But it was enough to make her look away in shame.

She shut the door with her back in a gentle click.

Once the latch locked, she slid to the floor, unable to keep herself standing anymore. Korra closed her eyes and rested the back of her head against the door, unsure for the first time since her fight whether or not she would live to the next morning.

Just when she thought she had found a safe haven, somewhere she could rest without worrying about being shot at or blown into smithereens by Kuvira’s soldiers…

Korra sighed, the noise coming out as a loud wheeze. It ached her to breathe, but it was something she had to do if she wanted to survive.

She winced for a moment and opened her lids to a cloth moving against her cheek.

Kitsune was crouched across from her, a soft expression on her face and appreciation in her eyes.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to get your cut. I’ll be more gentle.”

“You’re fine,” she croaked out, gratefulness in her eyes. She gave her a calm smile, urging her to continue. _Someone_ needed to stop her bleeding, and Korra knew sure as hell that it wouldn’t be _her_ in this condition.

So she let herself be vulnerable, if only to survive.

Kitsune wiped away as much blood as she could from Korra’s face before the small cloth was soaked. She moved to her bag at the bunk across from Korra’s and grabbed another.

“Here, Korra,” Tuzi murmured, his demeanor nearly sober from watching everything unfold. He held a small canister up to her lips. “Drink,” he insisted, a half smile on his face.

“Fuck you,” Korra chuckled, ripping the flask from him and forcing a swallow from her sore throat.

He grinned back and sat beside her, his presence alone keeping her company. He put a hand on her shoulder and rubbed it.

Kitsune poured a small amount of water from another container onto a cloth to wet it. She went back to Korra’s face and wiped the rest of the blood away. Luckily, most of her wounds had clotted in her resting time on the floor. She put a palm to Korra’s cheek when Korra started to drift into unconsciousness.

“Stay with me for a little while longer, okay?”

Korra snapped herself out of it and nodded.

“I’m going to lift your shirt, okay?”

She rested the back of her head against the door and nodded, closing her eyes in the process.

Kitsune pulled up the hem of Korra’s shirt and stifled off a blush; now was not the time for such things. She frowned and whispered to Tuzi. “This isn’t good.”

He leaned over and looked at Korra’s abdomen.

“Fucking hell.”

It was bruised and dark in some spots towards her ribs, where Gankona had kicked her.

“We have to get her to the infirmary,” Tuzi shot up to his feet, his face in a mild panic.

Korra simply shook her head. “Tried. Wouldn’t – let me – in.”

“What about the Lieutenant Colonel?”

“Pfft,” the noise came out of Korra in a painful, yet sarcastic, flinch. “He – fucking – _hates_ me. He wants – wants me dead. I’m surprised he didn’t – didn’t shoot me when – when he had – the – the chance – in his – his – office. I heard it. I – I heard the click back of the slide. The safety – the safety was off. He could have – could have – shot – me. Probably, probably figured I’d – I would – I’d die from my injuries.” She took a breath. “I guess it’s – less – less messy than shoo – shooting – me.”

Kitsune moved closer to her, worry on her face. “Korra, Korra, _look_ at me. Korra,” She held both sides of Korra’s face, beckoning her attention.

When Korra wouldn’t open her eyes on her own, Kitsune forced her lids apart with her thumbs.

Korra’s eyes were crossing and rolling back rapidly.

“Korra? Korra!” Kitsune almost shook her, tears in her eyes.

Tuzi froze in his spot and stared at Korra, horror in his expression.

Korra snapped from her daze, though it wasn’t by much. She mumbled incoherently and shook her head. “I – I need to lie down.”

She crawled to her knees, a pair of supporting hands on each of her shoulders.

“Let us help you, Korra.” Kitsune urged.

Korra surrendered and allowed them to take her to her bed. She noticed the wrinkled paper and the pen where she once sat, her letter to Asami unfinished.

It was at that moment that she was unsure of whether or not she would get the chance to finish that letter, or even _see_ it again.

“Happy Anniversary,” she mumbled, slipping into delirium as they laid her in the bed. “I’m sorry, Asami,” she added with a sob, pulling the paper closer and clutching it to her chest. “I’m so sorry,” she continued, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Shhhh,” Kitsune whispered, laying a blanket over Korra and stroking her hair. “We’re going to help you somehow. And it’s - it’s going to be okay, Korra,” she muttered, her owns tears streaming from her eyes. “It’s going to be okay.”

But it was a lie. A lie she was telling Korra. A lie that Tuzi overheard. A lie she was telling herself.

Because Kitsune was sure that Korra wasn’t going to make it through the night, and once Korra’s lids touched and she drifted into sleep, there was nothing she could do to keep her awake.

She gritted her teeth, her heart sinking in her chest.

There was nothing she could do to save the person who had tried to save the _both_ of them and had paid the price for it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Korra is in her bunk in a base that the United Forces has won back in the slums of Ba Sing Se. She fishes a wrinkled piece of paper and a pen from her jacket that she had found on the ground during their journey through the slums. Once she can get the pen to work, she starts to write a letter to Asami. She mentions how she hasn't heard from Asami in months, since the winter time or before then [the days are slipping past her], and that she hopes Asami is okay. She gives her details about the war and their plan of infiltrating the palace in Ba Sing Se based on intel that Kuvira might be there, and how she's just a day shy of being in the war for a year (i.e., this takes place a year after "Unexpected"). She wishes Asami a 'Happy Anniversary', though she notes that it doesn't feel much like an anniversary since they've been apart and quiet for so long. She mentions that she hopes Asami got her previous few letters from the winter and the spring time, and she talks about how much she misses her and wishes she could be back in Republic City to be with her again. Loud noises from down the hall interrupt her writing. She leaves the pen and paper behind and heads to the main hall, where she hears people chanting. When she enters, she sees a bunch of male soldiers forcing Tuzi to drink. He ends up throwing up. Korra tends to him and tells the other antagonizing soldiers to back off. One of them throws a bottle at the back of her head. Tuzi stops her from retaliating. Korra helps him up. Gankona yells a slur at her and throws an empty bottle at her feet. Korra brushes it off and helps Tuzi to the bathroom to help him sober up again. Korra questions his motives about drinking with Gankona. Tuzi reveals that he was drinking to forget about the horrors of war and to fit in in Ganokona's group, since he's been feeling pressure from Gankona ever since he was forced to bunk with him and he was sick of feeling like an outcast. He talks about wanting to go home. Korra sympathizes with him and rallies him to continue on, telling him that the only way he was going to be able to get home alive was to win the war and survive. She takes him to his room and when she opens the door, she finds Kitsune crying on Gankona's bed, disheveled. Korra tends to her and learns that Gankona had assaulted her sexually. She flashes back to when this happened to Asami and sees red. Korra immediately goes to the main hall, ignoring Kitsune and Tuzi behind her, and strikes Gankona. They get into a bloody fight, resulting in Korra getting cut across the face and her ribs and hand getting broken, and Gankona getting punched multiple times in the face. Gankona finds the picture of Korra and Asami in her jacket as he attempts to take it off of her. He rips the photo in half and makes threats to sexually assault Asami once the war is over. Korra loses it and puts a knife to his throat after assaulting him further. The lieutenant colonel storms in and rips Korra off of him. He takes her to his office, hits her with a blunt object, and scolds her for assaulting Gankona. When Korra reveals Gankona's crimes, he brushes it off and essentially okays the sexual assault, claiming that "men win wars" and that only "satisfied" men win wars. Korra is appalled and threatens the lieutenant, saying that she isn't going to just stand by and let this happen, and that if he is going to kill her, it better be with a gun to the back of her head, because that's the only way he'll be able to stop her. He dismisses her from his office and she leaves, boldly turning her back to him. She leaves the office without getting shot, but she did hear him draw his gun and point it at her before she left. Korra goes back to the main hall to find the ripped picture and finds it to be missing. She attributes it to one of Gankona's friends taking it. She heads to the bathroom to assess her injuries and realizes she's in much worse shape than she originally thought. She goes to the infirmary to get treated but the door is locked. Inside, a male medic is tending to a fearful Gankona. He pulls the curtain closed around them and ignores her. Korra returns to her bedroom and find Kitsune and Tuzi there, distant and fearful. She shuts the door and somewhat-collapses against it, the pain of her injuries catching up to her. Kitsune and Tuzi tend to her. Korra reveals what happened in the lieutenant's office and at the infirmary as she slips into delirium. They try to keep her awake but find it to be a losing battle. They help her to her bed and Korra sees the letter she was writing Asami. She realizes that she might not get to finish that letter after tonight or even see it again, fearful that she is going to die. She holds the letter to her chest and cries, wishing a "Happy Anniversary" once more and apologizing to Asami. Kitsune urges Korra to rest with false promises that 'everything was going to be okay'. Well, that was a long summary lol. *hides*


	13. Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry this is so incredibly late; I've been super busy with school and exams these past few days/weeks. But I'm off on break now so I'm going to try and write as much as I can and catch up before the month ends! So, without further ado, here is Rain.
> 
> Also, I would like to place a warning here for brief depictions of war violence. If you would like a summary, please see the end notes.

Asami, are you coming? We’re waiting for you.

                I’ll be there in just a few minutes. I had to take Naga out before I left.

Awww you should have brought her with you! It’s been a while since we’ve seen her.

                Yeah, I know, but I doubt the tea shop would let her in. Not after last time.

That’s true. She really did a number on that table.

Asami smiled and shook her head to the memory of that mid-summer evening when her, Opal, Bolin, Mako, and Naga had been at the very tea shop that her and Korra first went to when they became friends. Naga had been especially rambunctious that day, and despite Asami’s warnings, ended up chewing right through one of the legs of their table while they unknowingly conversed. If Mako hadn’t known the owner, Asami was sure they would have gotten banned from ever returning again.

                I suppose puppies will be puppies.

She replied with a smirk.

_Naga is one giant puppy, then._

Asami chuckled and slid her phone into her pocket. It was getting darker by the minute. She stopped at the corner to wait for the lights to change and bundled the collar of her red and black jacket up to her chin. Summer was ending, and the chilling winds of autumn threatened to take her warmth away once again. She bustled across the street and continued down the sidewalk, watching the street lights flick on before her. A mixture of smells hit her nose as she entered the strip of restaurants on the outskirts of downtown Republic City. She smiled in relief when she saw Bolin and Opal through the glass, but nearly stopped in her tracks when she noticed Mako sitting down beside his brother.

She wasn’t expecting Mako to be there.

Asami took a breath and pushed the door of the tea shop open.

The barista greeted her with a half-glare, half-smile; while Asami Sato was one of her more regular customers and _always_ a good tipper, she was still displeased about her table getting destroyed by Asami’s oversized white dog.

She looked away quickly and hustled over to the table.

“Hey, everyone. Sorry I’m late.” Asami mumbled as she plopped down at the only seat available next to Opal and Mako. She fumbled for her phone and shot Opal a quick text.

                You didn’t tell me Mako was going to be here.

Bolin didn’t tell me he was coming until he already walked in the door. He got here just a few seconds before you did.

While it wasn’t a _bad_ thing, it was just something she wasn’t expecting. They had been hanging out more often the past few months since they met in the spring, mostly through events with Bolin and Opal. They found themselves talking about things like the weather and work when they were alone, the awkwardness heavy between them. This had soon passed, though, as they slowly found things they had in common to share. The conversation, though, was few and far between.

Regardless, Asami had been grateful. Prior to getting pulled over by Mako for speeding, she had hardly spent time with _anyone_ other than her work desk, her laptop, and Naga. It was nice to have social interaction again.

Especially since…

“I’m so glad you’re here, Asami,” Bolin grabbed her attention. He sipped on his tea and set it down. “It’s been really nice seeing you these past few months. Opal and I were getting worried that you were never going to talk to us or leave your house or do _anything_ after Korra was sent away.”

This made Mako halt for a moment, mug still on his lips. He raised a brow at Asami and set his mug down. He looked away, hoping his actions were more subtle than they actually were.

Asami frowned and dropped her sight to her twiddling thumbs. “Yeah… I miss her.”

“I miss her, too.” Bolin swirled the tea around in his cup. “I kinda wish they would have sent me out to combat so that I could have maybe seen her.”

Opal shot him a worried look, both for Korra but more for him.

“Why _didn’t_ the sergeant send you out, Bolin?” Asami questioned with a hint of frustrated skepticism.

_He finished his training, but he didn’t get forcibly sent to war._

“The sergeant said I wouldn’t be good all that great for combat. The United Forces agreed. They said I would be better for the recovery efforts after the war.”

“ _If_ the war ever ends,” Mako added in a hushed tone before taking a sip of his tea.

Asami looked at him with apprehension in her peridots. Her heart sunk just a bit.

“The war will end,” Opal jumped in with stern emphasis, noticing Asami’s distress. “And Korra will be alright.”

She glanced at Opal and smiled briefly before dropping her eyes back to her hands. She had been hoping _not_ to talk about Korra today. While it was very true that she did miss her girlfriend and loved her very much, things had been getting… _rough_.

“It doesn’t seem like it’s going to end any time soon,” Mako replied, setting his cup down as he did so. “I’ve been watching the news. They’ve made it all the way to the center of Ba Sing Se and still can’t seem to find Kuvira. They’ve covered almost half the Earth Kingdom already. Meanwhile, Kuvira keeps trying to advance on the United Republic with her army. Wouldn’t it make more sense for them to be _here_ , preparing for an attack instead of trying to track Kuvira down throughout the whole Earth Kingdom and getting slaughtered along the way?”

Asami twiddled her thumbs again, wishing she had a cup of tea to fiddle with instead. She had been following the news, too, watching more often than not for any mention of the war being over, of lost soldiers, of Squadron 727, of _Korra_.

And Mako had been right; things _were_ looking bleak and bad for the United Forces. It had taken them months to get through to the Palace in Ba Sing Se, from what she had heard and read, but it seemed like Kuvira was too elusive. Maintaining peace in the giant city proved to be even more difficult with half the population split in loyalty between Kuvira and the former Earth Queen.

“Jasmine tea for Miss Sato,” a waitress spoke as she set the steaming mug in front of her.

“Thank-you,” Asami smiled, though her tone showed no such joy. She wrapped her fingers around the cup, grateful for its warmth. She sloshed it around, avoiding the eyes of her friends as they continued on.

“Since when are you so interested in the war, Mako?”

He folded his arms over his chest and addressed his brother. “I’ve always been interested. _Especially_ knowing that you were in ROTC.”

Bolin pouted and swirled the tea in his cup. “You were never interested before,” he grumbled before gulping the rest of it down.

“I guess that was before I knew that people could get shipped out without completing their training.” He glanced at Asami. “When _was_ the last time you heard from Korra?”

Asami tightened her grip on the mug, using the almost-burning hold to keep herself together. “It’s been almost a year,” she muttered, her heart twisting in her chest. Korra had been on her mind more and more lately. She found herself zoning in the middle of class, her stomach turning to a bad feeling about Korra. Her thoughts would play through the reports she had heard on the news. Ambushes. Gunfire. Death tolls. Retreat. Advancement. More violence, more death, more lives that were just becoming a body count.

She had started calling the sergeant in the ROTC program at the college for information. Just a piece. _Anything_.

_‘Have you heard anything about Korra?’_

_‘Have you heard anything from her?’_

_‘Do you think this war will ever end?’_

_‘Do you think she’s okay?’_

She was always met with apologies and similar feelings of remorse.

The sergeant didn’t want to see any of his untrained soldiers go off into war, especially Korra. When he learned that Korra was being sent to the frontlines…

“You haven’t heard from her in a year?” Bolin asked, wide-eyed.

“ _Almost_ a year,” Asami corrected, as if that would help the situation. She could see the letter on her dresser top in her bedroom. Beside it were the small rose plants she had grown from the seeds Korra had sent her. They hadn’t bloomed yet, and Asami couldn’t tell if it was from young age or lack of pollination or just a lack of season, but she tended to them the best she could on her good days.

But there were some days where she didn’t want to get out of bed. Days where she felt incredibly lonely. Desolate. She would stare at the picture of her and Korra beside her bed on her nightstand. At first, she cried. She would cry almost all night, until she was too dehydrated to produce tears anymore. As the weeks passed, the tears stopped and emptiness settled in. Coldness. The winter months hadn’t helped in those times.

Then she got pulled over by Mako and things had… _changed_. The sun warmed her skin in a way that it hadn’t before the winds of winter set in. She caught herself smiling more often amidst her sad moments and nights thinking of the woman she missed so much.

The emptier her bed and her heart felt each night, the more she knew she had to change.

So she started spending time with Opal, which in extension brought in Bolin and Mako. She started laughing again. Her nightmares lessened in severity. The circles under her eyes lightened.

She had _missed_ this. Missed having contact. Missed talking to people that didn’t just ask her questions at work or expect anything of her in class or simply barked back because they were a _dog_.

She had missed _Korra_ , and there were nights where she had convinced herself that she was trying to replace the aching with a sense of community. Trying to replace Korra with other people.

Of course, she would immediately shoot this down. _No one_ could replace Korra.

But that didn’t make her bed feel any less empty, even during the nights when Naga would hop up onto the covers with her or the dawns where Asami would wake, curled up on the floor beside Korra’s dog. She thought of the times she would read Korra’s letter over in her sleepless nights, hoping to the Spirits that Korra was alive and well.

“I haven’t gotten a letter from her in almost a year,” Asami added, staring at the steam as it billowed from her mug.

“Have you written her?” Mako asked after another sip of tea.

“Of _course_ I have. I’ve sent her letters every month.” She furrowed her brow, staring at the rim of her mug instead of the steam. There was frustration and pain in her eyes. “I just haven’t gotten one back.”

“I’m sure she’s just busy, Asami.” Opal reassured her. She clasped Asami’s forearm. “I can’t imagine being on the frontlines in this war has been an easy thing to deal with.”

“Plus, I’m sure the letters take a while to get here. You said the last one you got went all the way to the Fire Nation before it came to you, right? Maybe they’re all stuck there or the postal workers are on strike or something.” Bolin attempted to comfort her with a smile and a joke.

This almost worked until Mako opened his mouth. “Or maybe she forgot.”

This got Asami’s attention. She glanced at him. “What do you mean?”

Mako raised the mug to his lips. “Maybe she forgot to write you back. Or maybe she didn’t care.”

“Woah, Mako, take a step back.” Bolin set his tea down. “Korra would _never_ forget about Asami. I’ve seen them together. Worse, I’ve heard Korra _blabber_ about Asami more than I’ve heard myself think. Korra _loves_ Asami. She would do whatever she could to write her back and make her feel special and loved.”

“Then why hasn’t she gotten anything in almost a year?” Mako set his cup down.

“What are you trying to say?”

He brought his attention to Opal. “I just think it’s strange that Korra hasn’t sent a single letter in a whole year –”

“ _Almost_ a year,” Bolin corrected this time.

“ _Almost_ a year,” Mako repeated with condescension. “Look, all I’m saying is that something doesn’t seem right about this. How could she read all of Asami’s letters and not send one back?”

“Maybe she doesn’t have any paper?” Bolin reasoned.

“Or maybe she’s too busy trying not to die in the _war_ ,” Opal replied with a bit of darkness in her tone, noting the distress in Asami once more. “I’m sure Korra will write soon, if she hasn’t already.”

“ _If_ she can.” Mako took another sip of his tea.

“What is _that_ supposed to mean?” Bolin interjected.

“What is the probability that a low-level trained soldier would survive on the front lines with _this_ kind of war and battling happening?”

“Mako, _stop_.” Opal replied. “You’re making Asami upset.”

“He’s not wrong,” she spoke weakly.

This brought shock to Bolin and Opal’s faces.

“What do you mean, Asami?” Opal asked with concern in her tone.

“Korra hasn’t written me in almost a year. Our anniversary passed and I didn’t hear a single thing or read a single letter from her.” Asami continued staring at her mug, releasing the emotions she had been feeling in the wee hours of her late nights. “What if she _is_ dead?”

“She’s _not_ dead, Asami.” Bolin reassured her. “We would have heard something if she was.”

“If they were able to find the body.”

Bolin furrowed his brow. “Can you turn your ‘cop’ off for _two fucking seconds_ , Mako?”

He lifted his hands up to his chest in a display of defense. “I’m just being realistic here. If Korra was to be killed, it would be hard to get that information back to us.”

“Korra’s _not_ dead, Mako.” Opal growled back. She faced Asami and squeezed her forearm. “Korra is going to be fine, Asami.”

“Then why hasn’t she written back,” she retorted, though her voice got caught in her throat. She was _not_ prepared to talk about this when she had gotten the invitation for a simple night of tea together. And she had been doing what she was fighting to prevent since she got Korra’s last letter; she was holding things inside and using distractions to stave off her thoughts. Last fall, it was working until she was sick and broke down in the Gardens. In the winter, everything had caught back up to her. The spring brought about time spent with the lot before her.

And now, it was catching up to her once more.

“I _miss_ Korra.” She sat back, pulling her arm out of Opal’s grip as she did so. “I miss her,” she choked, fighting the onset of tears. “I don’t know if she’s dead or alive or hurt or safe or _what_ she’s doing. I just wish – I just hope she’s okay. Why can’t she…” Asami looked away, fighting to hold herself together. “Why can’t she write back?” She mumbled just before she felt a vibration in her pocket.

At that point, the tea shop grew quiet with confusion; everyone’s phones had gone off at once.

They all looked at their screens with curiosity.

Asami fished her phone out of her pocket, thankful for the distraction.

Until she read the notice.

ALERT: THE EARTH EMPIRE HAS ATTACKED THE BORDER OF THE HUASHI DISTRICT WITH THREATS OF HEADING TO REPUBLIC CITY. IT IS ADVISED TO STAY ON HIGH ALERT. STAY AWAY FROM PUBLIC BUILDINGS. STAY IN YOUR HOMES. REMAIN VIGILANT. MAKE YOURSELF AWARE OF EVACUATION ROUTES OUT OF THE CITY.

The alert repeated once more on her phone, the message flashing with an orange background. She just barely heard Bolin mutter over the ringing in her ears.

“Fucking hell.”

She glanced up at his worried face. Opal’s expression was full of shock and concern. Mako’s brow was furrowed as he stared at his screen.

Soon, the news on the TV grew louder as one of the patrons turned it up, the image displaying the same alert at the bottom as a news reporter broadcasted live.

Guns could be heard in the background from the given security clips. The videos were short. There was shouting. Screaming. Explosions.

The whole tea shop was silent as they watched, tea abandoned before them.

Asami didn’t want to look; she had heard enough reports and read enough information on the internet, but it had been months since she had seen any sort of live footage.

She didn’t _want_ to see it. She didn’t _want_ to hear it.

But she found that she couldn’t look away.

The images on the TV reflected back in her watery peridots. There were bodies everywhere. Blood. Sirens. Shouting. Grey uniformed women and green uniformed men lay scattered, lifeless, as Earth Empire soldiers just ran over the corpses of both their enemies and their comrades. When that video cut out, another one cut it, showing a shaking few seconds of the scene before a grenade went off and blew the feed to smithereens. They shot to another short frame of a United Forces soldier gunning down an Earth Empire soldier.

Asami couldn’t hear the reporter talking. She just kept staring at the images. They played faster and faster in her head. Her hands started shaking. The tears that had threatened to breach her lids finally fell.

It was too raw. Too real.

Korra could be dead. She could have been shot just as easily as the people on the screen. Korra could be dead. Her body could be getting run over and trampled into the mud as the war waged on. Korra could be dead. Her limbs could have been blown to pieces.

Korra could be dead. And Asami wouldn’t know.

Korra could be dead. And Asami _couldn’t_ know.

Korra could be dead.

She couldn’t handle it.

Korra could be dead.

She abandoned her tea, abandoned her friends, abandoned her table and the hushed tea shop and shoved the door to the eatery open.

Korra could be dead.

Asami stepped out into the darkness, the street illuminated by the orange lights above her and the occasional flash of lightning in the sky. The rain was pounding down. She hadn’t noticed the thunder in the deafening silence of the shop. She stared up at the sky, the videos passing through her head without her command.

She couldn’t help but replace the faces of those who had died with Korra’s.

“Hey.” The statement was followed by a firm squeeze of her shoulder to garner her attention.

Asami turned to see Mako standing across from her, the faint blues and greys of his uniform bringing back the thoughts of Korra’s grey one that she wore before she left in the airport.

Though hers were muddled with blood and bullet wounds in her mind.

Korra could be dead.

Asami collapsed into him, unable to stand on her own.

Mako caught her and pulled her close. He wrapped his arms around her and supported her as the heavy rain trickled through their clothes.

Asami was grateful for the rain; it made it easier to hide her tears.

But Mako knew. He could feel her sob against his chest. He tightened his hold.

“Everything is going to be okay. We’ll get through this.”

Asami didn’t acknowledge him. She simply cried. Bawled her eyes out. Released everything that she had mistakenly held inside for so long. _Too_ long.

She had been doing so well. But she had let herself slip away in her speculation, in her grief, in the _reality_ of the situation.

_“Just please take care of yourself. Try to do some things that make you happy. And try not to worry about me too much, okay?”_

She thought of Korra’s roses, of her breakdown in the Gardens, of the seeds Korra had sent her.

Of her hope.

She felt another person wrap their arms around her. They were a gentle, soft pair.

Those were followed up by a set of burly ones that pulled them all closer.

Asami took fistfuls of Mako’s jacket in her hands and sobbed. She wanted Korra back. She wanted this all to be over.

She wanted the warmth and comfort that Korra provided.

She wanted to hear her laugh and smell her skin. To feel her lips and her fingers interlocking with hers. She wanted to hear her slurp noodles and growl at Naga as they played.

She wanted to be held. She wanted to be loved. She didn’t want to be alone anymore.

“Let’s get out of this rain.” Mako tried to urge her.

Asami just shook her head. “I don’t – I don’t want to go back into the tea shop. I want to go home.”

“We’ll take you home, then.”

Asami crumbled further. She knew the home they referred to was just her apartment, and it would never be the home that she was thinking of:

The home of Korra’s arms around her.

She felt Bolin and Opal leave and grip each of her shoulders.

Mako kept her arms around her and rubbed her back.

“Did you drive here, Asami?” Opal asked in a soft tone.

She shook her head.

Opal and Bolin shared a look. It was very rare for Asami to not drive somewhere; she was always itching to get into her Satomobile.

“Well, your apartment isn’t too far from here, right, Asami? So it makes sense,” Bolin countered Opal’s worried expression.

“Let’s just walk her home,” Mako advised. He released her and took his jacket off, despite Asami’s grip on it. He pulled it from her hands and wrapped her in it to keep her warm, leaving himself with just a white tank.

Bolin stared at him, his eyes full of warning.

Mako ignored him and pulled the crying Asami closer. He put his arm around her back and held her shoulder to comfort her. He bent down slightly in an attempt to look into her eyes. “Ready to go, or do you want to wait a few more minutes?”

Asami wiped the tears from her cheeks with the backs of her hands. She kept her eyes closed and took a breath. She felt the rain on her skin. A pound of thunder roared up into her bones. The wind whipped her hair.

She exhaled. She felt tired. She wished she had the warmth of the jasmine tea that she never got to drink in her hands.

But she didn’t dare step back into that tea shop. Not now, at least.

The videos came back into her head. She shook it away and nodded in reply to Mako’s question.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

Mako led Asami down the sidewalk, his arm still around her.

Bolin and Opal watched from behind, a mixture of feelings whirring up into their chests.

It didn’t take long to get to Asami’s apartment. They could hear Naga bark as they climbed the steps.

“Do you want us to stay?”

“No,” Asami replied with a hoarse voice to Mako’s question. She dug in her pockets for her keys. “I’ll be okay.”

It was a lie, of course. She would _not_ be okay. She would be just as sad and torn apart as she felt right now, but at least she wouldn’t have to be sad and torn apart in front of other people.

This was enough to convince her that this was the right decision. As lonely as she felt and as much as she wanted company, she just… she needed to be alone, to get through these tears in the comfort of her own home.

Or her _apartment_ , for that matter.

“Thank-you,” she muttered, turning the key in the lock. She kept her back to them and lowered her head. Rain dripped down her face, colder than it was before. She watched it fall to the ground and splatter into a small puddle on her doorstep. “I appreciate it,” she choked out before pushing the door open.

Asami slipped inside and clicked the latch before anyone could protest – Naga included. She locked the door and remained still in the darkness of her apartment. She leaned against the door until she heard their footsteps travel down her stairs several minutes after the fact.

Then she slid until she was sitting on the ground and cried, her face buried in her knees.

Naga walked over to her cautiously, sniffing as she did so. When she caught Mako’s scent, she growled.

This got Asami’s attention. She glanced up in confusion. “Wh – what Naga? Do you have to go out?”

When Naga snapped at her, she knew it was something else.

That was when she noticed the jacket that was still around her shoulders.

“Shit, I forgot to give this back to Mako.” She pushed herself to her feet and pulled the door open. She didn’t even remember when he put it on her, to be honest; everything was a blur since she got to that tea shop. Asami hurried down her steps and glanced down either side of the street.

The three of them were nowhere to be found.

She lowered her head, the jacket in her hands, and let the rain fall on her again. She had pushed them away once more.

And now, she was alone again.

Asami climbed back up the steps and shut the door with a gentle click. The locked it and slid back down to the floor, her back against the door. She stared at Mako’s jacket until Naga growled again.

Soon, it was out of her hands.

“Naga, no! That’s not a toy! Naga!” Asami chased the dog around her apartment. “Come on, Naga, this isn’t a game!” Asami slipped on her hardwood, parts of it dripping wet from her clothes. She crashed into the floor with a loud thud and a painful ‘oomph’. She was sure she’d have a nice bruise on her leg. She crawled back up to her feet and went after Naga once more.

When Naga was backed into a corner, she growled and bared her teeth at Asami, a deep darkness in her eyes.

Asami’s confidence and desire to win this battle fell away at the power in Naga’s glare. She stepped back, fear in her heart. “O – okay, Naga. You can have it. I’ll – buy Mako a new one or something.”

Naga barked, the sound bouncing off the walls and snapping in Asami’s ears. She continued to rumble.

Asami frowned and looked away. She held her elbows and turned her back on Naga. Her limbs started shaking from the cold of her soaked clothes. “I’m – I’ll just go take a shower, Naga. I’ll be back in a little bit.”

The only reply she got was the snarl that wouldn’t cease.

Asami made her way to the bathroom and locked the door. She shed her wet clothes and let them flop onto the floor. She traced over the darkening bruise on her thigh as the water heated up. Once the steam surrounded her, she crawled into the shower. She sat in the corner, letting the hot water move down her skin. It didn’t feel as alive as the rain did, but it brought her much more comfort. She closed her eyes and curled into herself. Her thoughts wandered back to everything that had happened that night. She saw the video clips and felt her heart tug.

In just a few weeks, it will have been a whole year since she had heard from Korra. A whole _year_. She had written her countless letters since then, over a dozen.

_Why hasn’t she written back?_

The sight of a United Forces soldier riddled with bullets filled her mind. When the body fell, the helmet bounced off, and she saw the brown hair and tan skin that she missed so much.

Asami heaved and pulled her legs closer to her chest.

“Korra’s okay. Korra’s okay. Korra’s okay.” She repeated to herself until she could no longer speak.

_Keep yourself together, Asami. You can do this. If you survived mom dying, you can survive this. I know you can. You’re better than this. You’re stronger than this._

She took a deep breath to steady herself. And another. And another. Because she _could_ do this, and she was going to have to.

(-)

It wasn’t until the water was too cold to tolerate did Asami leave the tub. She wrapped a towel around herself and stepped into the living room.

Mako’s jacket laid in a shredded mess all over the floor by the door, little pieces scattered throughout.

“Naga?” Asami called to her.

There was no response.

Asami crept into the bedroom.

Naga was on the mattress, her nose a few inches from the picture of Korra on Asami’s nightstand.

Asami’s expression softened. She closed the door and sat beside Naga. “I miss her, too,” she whispered, running a clean hand through Naga’s fur.

Naga whimpered and adjusted her paws on the bed, as if doing so would bring her any closer to Korra.

Asami continued stroking Naga’s fur and glanced up at the roses on her dresser. There were four of them, the only ones to have survived out of all the seeds Korra had sent her. Three of them looked full of life, but one of them seemed to be stunted, its stature much shorter and bent, while the leaves looked dry and withered. She rose with determination and grabbed the small bottle next to her dresser on her desk. She watered the fourth until the bottle was empty.

She returned it to her desk and pulled her top drawer open. Asami slid into her pajamas and crawled back onto the mattress. She curled up next to Naga and rested her head near Naga’s warm belly.

Naga stood and glanced at Asami before jumping off the bed. She scratched at the door until Asami got up and opened it. Naga made her way to her bed in the living room and circled it. She plopped down into it, her back to Asami.

Asami frowned and sighed. She turned from Naga and almost clicked the door shut, stopping short with the hope that maybe Naga would join her later in the night. She crawled up into her empty bed and listened to the rain smack the side of her window. She felt cold. She felt alone. She felt too many things to decipher in her weariness. Sleep would not come to her. She was convinced it never would.

So she just stared out the pane and watched the water drip down the glass until the morning came.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asami meets up with Opal, Bolin, and Mako at a tea shop. It's the end of summer/beginning of autumn. They talk about the war and how the United Forces have gotten to the palace in Ba Sing Se but haven't been able to find Kuvira. The Earth Empire is putting pressure on the United Republic of Nations. Asami mentions how it's been almost a year since she's heard from Korra (back in "Autumn"), and that she's sent numerous letters to Korra with no response. Opal and Bolin assure her that Korra is probably just busy with the war, while Mako speculates that something might have happened to her - going so far as to say that Korra might be dead. Asami agrees with this idea, unsure of whether Korra is alive or not and why she hasn't been writing back. Every person from the coffee shop then gets a message on their phone. It's an alert saying that the Earth Empire has attacked the border of a nearby district, threatening to attack Republic City. A TV report then plays showing clips of the attack and soldiers dying. 
> 
> Asami loses it. She leaves the tea shop and starts crying in the rain. Mako meets her outside to comfort her and Asami collapses into him. She had been holding her emotions in for too long, despite her initial efforts almost a year ago to get better. She had been spending more and more time with Opal, Bolin, and Mako since Mako pulled her over in the spring ("Warmth"), but it wasn't helping as much as she'd hoped. She missed Korra and feared for her death. Opal and Bolin join in the comfort hug. They agree to walk Asami home. Mako takes off his jacket and wraps it around Asami, much to Bolin's discomfort. They reach Asami's apartment and she leaves them at the doorstep. She goes inside and locks the door, wanting to be alone. Once she hears them leave, she slides down to the floor and cries. 
> 
> Naga approaches her and starts growling at her. It's then that she realizes she still has Mako's jacket. She goes outside to give it back but finds that her friends are long gone. Sad, she returns to the apartment and sits on the floor again. Naga rips the jacket from her. Asami chases Naga around, trying to get it back. Naga barks and snaps at her, forcing Asami to relent. She heads to the shower and tries to find strength. When she returns, Mako's jacket is torn to shreds on the floor. She finds Naga in her bedroom, whimpering over a picture of Korra. Asami tries to share in the comfort. She notices one of the roses she was growing from Korra's seeds wilting, so she waters it. She puts her pajamas on and lays next to Naga, who rises and leaves her. Asami keeps the door partly open in case Naga changes her mind and lays on her bed. She can't sleep. She spends the night staring out the window, watching the rain drip down the pane in quiet loneliness.


	14. Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I just wanted to drop a quick trigger warning here for depictions of depression, suicidal thoughts, and wartime violence. I'll include a summary at the end notes if you would like.

Korra tightened her grip on her rifle. Despite her conditioning to the cold from living in the Southern Water Tribe most of her life, her hands still felt frozen in the howling winds of winter. She made her way through the camp, her feet crunching in the light layer of snow on the ground. She paused at the edge to look over the side of the mountaintop on which they were stationed. The view was impeccable, and she wished she had been seeing this on better terms.

When she wasn’t in a war. Rather, when she was with _Asami_.

_She would love it up here._

Korra hesitated, her heart turning in her chest. It had been almost a year since she had heard from Asami. No letters. No messages. Nothing. And with the attacks that had happened on the border of the United Republic of Nations several months ago in the fall, she was more than worried; she was _terrified_.

_Maybe she’s just been busy. She’s got a job and she’s getting her advanced degree, you know. _

Korra sighed and adjusted the hold on her rifle. She dropped her sight to the ground.

_Yeah, maybe._

She wasn’t convinced. In fact, she was the opposite; she was doubtful. She was afraid. Afraid that Asami had forgotten about her. Afraid that Asami had moved on.

Afraid that something happened that took her away.

Korra tightened her jaw and blinked her sight back up to the horizon. She couldn’t see much other than landscape in the Fennu Mountains, but she knew where she was heading: Zaofu. They had received intel that Kuvira was stationed there, and this time, it was _accurate_. Kuvira wasn’t spotted during the attacks on the Huashi District, based on the information passed to them by Squadron 656.

But they were struggling to keep the Earth Empire at bay. And this is what worried Korra.

They hadn’t heard of the attack until several weeks after it had begun. For all that they knew, Republic City could have fallen to Kuvira by now.

And Korra wished she was there to protect Asami with every ounce of her being.

Her breath floated into her sight. She lowered her eyes once more.

_That wouldn’t explain the months she hadn’t written beforehand, though._

That, too, was true. And Korra had spent many nights thinking about this as they made their way from Ba Sing Se to the mountains. And in those nights, she would go back and forth between her thoughts and speculations, eventually convincing herself that the letters were just taking a while to get to her. She was in the middle of nowhere, after all.

But this was merely a ploy, a trick her mind was trying to play on her to get her body the rest that it so desperately needed.

Her subconscious, though… her subconscious knew.

Korra was losing hope.

She put her hand to her chest, still unable to break the habit of reaching for the picture that was no longer there. It had been gone for months, and the hole that it left in her tore her apart just as Gankona had ripped the picture down the center to split them.

Korra lowered her rifle until her wrist was at her waist. She glanced over the mountain range once more. The ledge was right there. Just a hundred feet or so away. Maybe more. But it was close. It called to her, just as the howls of the elevated winds whispered songs and phrases of all sorts.

The little voice in her head kicked in. It murmured to her.

_It would be easy,_ it hushed. _It would be quick. You wouldn’t have to be in this war anymore. And Asami wouldn’t have to worry about you coming back. She could move on, if she hasn’t already. She could – no would – find someone better, someone who was there with her, someone who wasn’t so far away. And all of your pain would disappear._

The sensation grew stronger. It felt as though a cold hand was on her shoulder, squeezing it. A heaviness fell upon her chest. The shadow wrapped itself around her insides.

_Just a few steps. A few steps away and ‘poof’. This all ends, right here, right now._

It wouldn’t be the first time that she felt the cold of this side of her. And she was convinced it wouldn’t be the last. Ever since her incident with Gankona, things had gotten worse. She wasn’t even sure how she survived that night, with her broken ribs and bruised body.

But this was a lie. She knew _exactly_ how she survived.

“Asami,” she whispered, tears threatening to breach her lids.

Kitsune and Tuzi had broken into the infirmary the night that Korra had nearly killed Gankona. They stole as many supplies as they could to take care of her. She awoke in a daze with gauze on her wounds and pain meds coursing through her veins via an IV. It was blurry, those first few hours.

Then she remembered the screaming. The Lieutenant Colonel had found out.

He had worked them hard ever since, forcing Korra to march with her wounds as they traveled through Ba Sing Se. She could hardly even stand, but she refused to surrender.

All because of one person.

But the days passed. The silence grew more painful. So did her injuries. She was put in the front lines again and again, forced to watch her comrades get gunned down by the Earth Empire in the pits. A man named Wenhe who had a wife and child at home. A woman, Sakana, who had taken her mother’s place in the war due to her cancer. A kid who was probably no older than her shot in the head for standing just an inch too high.

And she was covered in their blood, all of which continued to stain her jacket as hers did from the fight with Gankona.

Korra glanced down at her uniform. It was dirty and riddled with rips. Mud was caked on some parts. Blood on the others. She used to care, used to try and scrub it out.

But she was running out of strength. Running out of will. Running out of _herself_.

She stared at the edge of the mountain once more. The voice filled her head.

_It’s not far. Just a little walk away. No one would notice. No one would care._

Part of her disputed this. Kitsune would care. So would Tuzi. They still did what they could to stay by her side, despite their hard riding from the Lieutenant Colonel as well.

_But would Asami?_

_Listen to yourself, Korra,_ her own voice finally broke through. _What are you saying? Of course Asami would care. She loves you._

She lowered her eyes.

_Then why hasn’t she written?_

Korra’s stomach growled for the umpteenth time that day. She ignored it. She knew she wouldn’t be getting food any time soon. And even if she did, she doubted she would want to eat it.

She hadn’t eaten in three days, after all.

_You have to get yourself together. You can’t die out here. Not like this._

_Why? It wouldn’t matter._

_Of course it would. There are plenty of people who would miss you, Korra, Asami included. _

One of her tears breached her lids and rolled down her dirty cheek. It fell onto her worn boot.

_I’ve written her at least once a month, as often as I could. Maybe the letters never got to her._

_Or maybe it wasn’t enough._

Korra closed her eyes to this and clenched her fist. What if the dark voice was right? What if it _wasn’t_ enough?

They had been apart longer than they had been together. One semester when Asami was away in the Fire Nation studying abroad, and over a year and a half since Korra had been sent off to war, all out of the three-ish years since Korra first found the courage to talk to Asami Sato outside of the library on their college campus. Two and a quarter years. They had been apart for two and a quarter years.

Maybe it was too much. Maybe Asami couldn’t handle it.

Maybe she didn’t want to.

Korra had no time to think over the conversation that she had been having with herself for weeks. Before she knew it, she was moving.

But not towards the edge of the mountain. No. She was sprinting towards the camp, towards the explosion that had just penetrated her ears.

Korra ran as fast as she could. Echoing gunfire meandered to her. She ran even faster. It ached to do so. She rounded the corner and halted upon the sight of the burning convoys and tents before her.

Several United Forces members were along the frays, gunning down the Earth Empire soldiers that had ambushed them. Others were screaming in pain from the fresh burns and shrapnel injuries they suffered.

Some remained completely still, no longer with this world.

Korra sprang into action. She moved to the giant tents first. Most were empty – much to her relief – until she reached one of the women’s tents in particular.

_Kitsune’s._

Korra cut the fabric open with her knife. Kitsune lay in a disoriented mess, bag blown open and head bleeding.

“Kitsune,” Korra called to her, her forearm protecting her from the flames. She motioned to grab her when she was tackled to the ground.

Before she could register what was happening, her hands were up to stop a knife from stabbing her in the throat. She struggled against the Earth Empire soldier, both of their eyes spewing fire at the other. They wrestled, the blade inching closer and closer to Korra’s skin.

The man leaned towards her, his teeth gritted in determination.

Korra used this to her advantage and headbutted the soldier as hard as she could. She took no time to recover from the recoil. Instead, she pushed the man off of her and crawled onto him, grabbing her rifle while he was stunned. She swung it once at his head and hit him square in the skull.

The force was enough to knock him out but not kill him.

Korra took this as a victory and moved on, realizing her time was running out. The giant tent was burning around her and the oxygen was getting thin. She slid her rifle to her back, thankful in that moment for the makeshift strap she had tied to it, and rushed over to Kitsune, shielding her face as she did so.

“Kitsune? Kitsune, can you hear me?”

There was no response.

Korra felt her neck for a pulse.

That’s when she noticed Kitsune’s jacket was open.

_She must have been changing when the explosives went off._

Normally, Korra wouldn’t think anything of this. But one thing in particular made her halt in her tracks, despite the fire and toxic fumes and screams and gunfire raging behind her.

An envelope stuck out of the pocket of Kitsune’s jacket. And not just _any_ envelope.

An envelope in familiar handwriting, addressed not to Kitsune, but to _Korra_.

Her head spun. Her ears rang. Her hand trembled to the parcel. Her fingers caressed the edges.

It wasn’t until an explosion several feet from her went off that she snapped out of it, partially due to her being blown a few yards away.

Korra sat up and groaned, her core aching and her shoulder strained. She was sure she would have new bruises and cuts on her, but she didn’t waste time thinking of them. She crawled over to Kitsune but stopped. She hesitated for another moment.

Then, she grabbed her.

Korra flung Kitsune over her shoulder. She staggered to her feet and snatched Kitsune’s bag as well. She forced herself out of the torn tent fabric, ash and dust and smoke floating around her.

“Korra!”

She heard Tuzi call and ran in his direction.

A bullet whizzed by her ear.

Another grazed her thigh, forcing her into a minor limp.

She kept running until she reached the sheltered convoy. She struggled up into the armored truck and scrambled inside while the last of the Earth Empire soldiers closed in on them. Korra crawled to the back of the vehicle and leaned Kitsune against the wall. She plopped her bag beside her and rushed over to Tuzi, who was flat against the side of the truck as bullets riddled where he once stood.

“How the hell did they find us?”

“I don’t know, Korra. But this is bad. We have to get out of here.”

She nodded to Tuzi and lifted her rifle. She crept to a window nearby. Just as she was about to peek out, the gunfire stopped.

An eerie silence fell among them.

Neither of them knew what to do. No one really did. They all waited in anticipation of another attack. The seconds seemed like minutes.

When they heard the voice of the Lieutenant Colonel, they all moved at once. The trucks started. Soldiers soon filled them. They had no time to collect the dead; they had to get out of there before more of the living joined them.

Korra helped an injured soldier climb into the truck before slamming the tall door shut. She fastened the latch and leaned against the wall. The back of her head slammed against it and she sighed. She had no idea when her hands started shaking.

The jolt of movement made her unsteady, the jerk enough to slam her into the door. She bounced onto the floor of the truck with a painful groan.

“Korra, are you alright?” Tuzi crawled to her in a similar state.

“I’m fine,” she brushed it off and pushed herself to her hands and knees. “You check on Ringu and make sure he’s okay. I’ll check on Kitsune.” There was a bit of darkness in her tone at the last sentence.

It went undetected by Tuzi. He simply nodded and scuttled over to the injured soldier.

Korra approached Kitsune with a set jaw. She knelt down and steadied herself against the walls to the bumps of the moving truck. She felt for another pulse in Kitsune’s neck.

Her fingers registered the beat of her heart.

She inspected her head wound. The bleeding had stopped.

Finally, she checked her breathing.

The puff of air against her fingers was evidence enough for her; Kitsune would live.

Korra almost sighed in relief.

_Almost_.

The sight of the letter in Kitsune’s jacket stopped her. She pulled the envelope from Kitsune’s pocket and inspected it in the low light.

_‘United Forces Outpost_  
1500 Ember Ave  
Sea Coast County, Fire Nation  
Squadron 727  
Lieutenant Colonel Xinku  
Attn: Korra’

Her fingers trembled around the edges. She flipped it over to the back

_‘Asami Sato_  
151 10 th Street  
University District, Republic City’

Korra was pretty sure she wasn’t breathing. It was a letter. A letter to her. A letter to her from Asami.

_From Asami_.

She turned the envelope back over and glanced at the top right corner. The post mark was from several months ago.

_But why does Kitsune have this?_

Korra glanced to Kitsune’s bag beside her with suspicion. She set the letter down and ripped the hole in Kitsune’s bag open even more. Several envelopes spilled out, amongst other things like medical supplies, weapons, food, and a blanket. She tossed the half-full bag to the side and shoved the goods away until the parcels were uncovered. She scooped them up and flipped through them.

They all had the same address, the same Squadron, the same Lieutenant Colonel and the same attention: _her_.

But the dates were different. Some of them dated back just a few months. The oldest ones were all the way back to the spring, before their assault on Ba Sing Se.

Korra had no idea what to do. All she could do was shake. Asami had written her. She had written her _many_ times. Over and over. And Korra never got them.

She had been losing hope. She had been slipping into darkness and insanity. She almost… she almost…

She couldn’t even bring herself to think of it. She was giving up on Asami and thinking all these things that weren’t even _close_ to true.

_Because of her_.

She glared down at Kitsune, fire in her eyes. She almost saw red, almost wanted to kill Kitsune where she lay. She became very aware of the gun on her back, of the knife in its sheath in her boot, of the power of her own two hands that gripped the letters so tightly.

_Her_ letters. _Hers_.

_Why the hell does she have these? Why – why did she keep them from me?_

Korra glanced over her shoulder at Tuzi. He was oblivious to her, too focused on tending to the injured soldier to notice her in the dark corner. Korra stared at Kitsune once more. Her eyes narrowed.

But she stopped herself.

Instead, she put the letters in her jacket pocket, the hole that had been sucking and tugging away at her where the picture of her and Asami once was somewhat full now. Balanced. She tossed everything back into Kitsune’s bag and placed it beside her.

Then, Korra sat in the corner a few feet away from Kitsune. She rested her forearms on her knees and stared straight ahead, ignoring the blood coming out of her bullet wound. The shaking and bouncing of the truck wasn’t going to faze her, either. _Nothing_ was.

She sat. She gazed at the wall. She let her thoughts narrow down to an empty, anger-filled buzz.

And she waited.

(-)

Kitsune opened her eyes to a bright white light. She shielded them and groaned from the slight pain at the sight of it. She turned her head to one side until her pupils adjusted. When she turned her head to the other, she was met by a pair of oceans.

A smile crossed her face. “Korra? You’re here.” The grin grew for a moment as relief washed over her.

But it faded when she saw the severity in Korra’s expression.

“Is – is everything okay?”

“No.”

Kitsune forced herself into a sitting position and leaned against the back of the medical bed. She put a hand to her head and winced, her lids shut in the process.

“Did someone get hurt? Did something bad happen? All I – all I remember is getting ready for a nap when the explosion went off. I think I hit my head on the ground or something.”

When she opened her eyes back up, she stared at the scenery around her.

“Where are we, Korra?”

“A United Forces outpost about half a day west of where we were. Squadron 412 liberated it. Their medics patched you up.”

“Wow, I was out for that long?”

“Yeah.”

The darkness in Korra’s voice made her heart drop. She met Korra’s fire-filled blues with concern.

“Korra, what’s wrong?”

“What’s _wrong_? You have the nerve to ask me what’s _wrong_?”

She recoiled a bit. “I – I don’t think I understand.”

“Do you understand _this_?” Korra reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out the most recent letter from Asami. It remained unopened. She tossed it onto the bed.

It fell at Kitsune’s feet.

“Wha – what’s this?”

“Don’t _fucking play dumb with me_.” Korra growled. “You know _exactly_ what that fucking is.”

Kitsune wouldn’t touch it, because she knew Korra was _right_.

“Korra, I can explain. I’ve been meaning to give that to you, but with the Lieutenant Colonel riding our asses and keeping us apart and constantly having eyes on us, and all of the battling – I guess I just forgot.”

“Oh, you forgot? You _forgot_? You just happened to have a letter from Asami _knowing how much I missed her_ , and you just _forgot_ to give it to me?”

“I’m sorry, Korra. I know I should have given it to you sooner, but I just got it a few days ago.”

“A few days ago,” Korra mocked. She rose to her feet and dug into her jacket pocket. She cleared the gap between them in a single stride and waved the envelopes. “Then what about _these_ , huh? Did you get _these_ a few days ago, too?” She slammed them down onto the first letter at Kitsune’s feet. Then, her hands were lifting Kitsune by the collar. “ _Answer me.”_

Tears poured from her eyes. She withered under Korra’s might and the fear in her heart. “I – I’m sorry, Korra. I’m so sorry.”

“Why did you do this? Why did you keep this from me? You saw me crumble and falter, and you _still_ kept this from me. Why, Kitsune, _why_?”

“Because I _love_ you!”

Korra was taken aback, though her tone continued to hold its snarl. “You _love_ me?”

She nodded and closed her eyes. “I love you, Korra.” She lowered her head, hoping to find comfort from the woman in front of her.

Instead, Korra shoved her away.

Kitsune watched as Korra paced from one end of the bed and back. “Why would you think keeping letters from me would be a good thing?” She stopped and glared at her after her question. “Why would you horde them? What the fuck did you think would happen when I found out?”

“I – I didn’t think you would find out. I didn’t want to leave them behind in case someone found them or saw me with them because people were always watching, so I kept them in my bag –”

“But _why_?” Korra snapped at her. “Why keep them at all? Why keep them from _me_?”

“Because I wanted you to love _me_ , not _Asami_!” Her sobbing worsened. “I love you, Korra. And I wanted you to love me, too. With Asami out of the picture, I thought that – that maybe you would fall in love with me instead. I don’t know why I didn’t just get rid of the letters. I didn’t have a means to burn them, but I could have buried them or ripped them up or something. But I was always afraid that someone would see. And I just – I just wanted you to love me the way that I loved you.”

Korra couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her ears started to ring. She sat in the chair across from Kitsune and held her head in her hands. Memories played before her, from the day she met Kitsune until now.

The signs were all there. Had she been so blind to see them?

That’s when she remembered the bag in the truck, remembered that it was still half-full when she tossed it aside.

“Did you fucking keep my letters from Asami, too?”

All Kitsune could do was whisper “I’m sorry” amongst her sobs.

Korra closed her eyes, tears welling into them. Her heart was erratic in her chest as it dropped into the earth.

“Ever since you defended me from Gankona,” Kitsune continued, hoping her words would ease the situation, “I – I thought that maybe you felt the same for me, too. So I started taking the letters from the post. I’m sorry, Korra. I’m so sorry.”

“I – I _trusted_ you,” she growled, her fists full of her own hands. “I _trusted_ you,” she repeated with more darkness, her leaking eyes now burning holes into Kitsune’s wet ones. “I trusted you and you did _this_ to me?” She rose to her feet, anger taking over. Her fingers were now balled at her waist. “I defended you, protected you time and time again, and _this_ is how you repay me?” She took a step forward. “You saw me _crumble_ and I – I came to you for – for comfort…”

Korra paused, the blood draining from her face at the realization.

“That’s what you wanted. That’s what you wanted all along!” Korra snarled and shoved a glass off the side table near Kitsune.

It smashed onto the floor, spilling its contents on the concrete.

“That’s what you _fucking_ wanted all along,” she yelled, ferocity in her being as she recalled all the words, all the tones that Kitsune had used. “You _wanted_ me to think that Asami had forgotten about me.” She paced to the wall, burying her fingers in her hair in frustration. “You _wanted_ me to cry, you _wanted_ me to fucking starve, you _wanted_ me to lose my mind and lose my hope. You fucking _wanted_ me to come crawling to you support and I fucking _did_ , I believed every fucking word that came out of your fucking mouth.”

Korra rested her forehead on the wall, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“I fucking believed you. I _trusted_ you.”

“I – I’m sorry, Korra. I – you can’t control who you fall in love with.”

“No, you _can’t_.” Korra turned to her, darkness in her being. “And I will _never ever_ be in love with you. **_Ever_**.”

Kitsune shattered even more. “Korra –”

“ _No_. No, you don’t get to _fucking_ _talk_ right now. Not after what you’ve done.”

“If I had told you from the start, it wouldn’t have mattered. You would _always_ love Asami and you’d never return my love for you. What other choice did I have?”

“You could have acted like a fucking adult instead of a child. You could have just gotten over it instead of – instead of _fucking_ –” Korra couldn’t conjure words. Instead, she turned to the chair she had been sitting in for several hours, motionlessly glaring at Kitsune while she rested, and grabbed it. She threw it against the wall so hard that it smashed into pieces.

“Korra, I –”

“What did I _fucking_ say!?” She turned back to Kitsune, flames and tears in her eyes. She pointed a furious finger at Kitsune. “You don’t get to fucking talk.” She took a step towards her. “And you know what, you’re right. You _can’t_ control who you fall in love with. And I’m in love with _Asami_ , _not_ you. I will _always_ be in love with Asami. And you – you can go _fuck_ yourself for thinking otherwise.”

Kitsune watched in fear and pain as Korra gathered the letters at her feet.

Once they were in Korra’s jacket, she seized Kitsune by the collar and put her knife to Kitsune’s throat in one swift motion.

They stared into each other’s eyes, pain radiating from each pair.

“ ** _Fuck you_** , Kitsune.”

Korra shoved her back into the wall and stepped away from the bed. She kept her back to her, her knife still in hand.

“The only reason I’m not fucking killing you where you sit is because you saved my ass back in Ba Sing Se. But just know this,” she faced her again, the same amount of rage and hurt and darkness pouring from her oceans, “if I ever save your ass again on the battlefield, it will be because you’re a fellow soldier, _not_ because you’re my friend.”

Korra turned from her, feeling no remorse in her words or her tone. She made her way to the door to find Tuzi rushing in.

“Korra, I heard a crash are you al –”

She didn’t wait for him to finish his sentence; she simply shoved him out of the way and continued down the corridor to her bunk.

He watched her until she was out of sight. When he heard the door slam shut, he winced. Then he turned to the sobbing behind him.

Tuzi had _never_ seen Korra like that. It wasn’t the same rage that he witnessed when Korra and Gankona fought. No, there was more pain in her, almost like brokenness stemmed from…

_Betrayal._

He approached Kitsune’s bed with a furrowed brow. “What the _hell_ did you do?”

Kitsune simply sat with her head buried in her knees and sobbed.

(-)

Korra sat in the corner of her bed, curled up with her knees to her chest. Her head was against the wall. She didn’t mind the cold against her cheek. Asami’s letters were surrounding her, torn from their envelopes and stretched to their lengths. They grew shorter and shorter as time had gone on, shifting from topics of her day-to-day to how worried she was.

How sad.

How lonely.

A tear rolled down her cheek as she read the most recent one, her free hand buried in her hair.

_‘Dear Korra,_

_I hope everything is going well out in the Earth Empire. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much. I’ve been worried about it. It keeps me up at night. I wish I had heard from you._

_I’ve called the sergeant a few times since my last letter to you. He’s heard nothing either._

_I’m not sure what could be going on. Are the letter carriers just not making it to you? Do you not have the supplies to write? Are you hurt? Are you –_

_I don’t even want to think about it._

_Republic City has been on high alert since the Earth Empire attacked the Huashi District. I’ve heard on the news that they’ve been getting closer to Republic City. It worries me. I’ve been thinking of leaving the City, but something always keeps me here. I just hope my instinct doesn’t get me –_

_Anyway, I’ve been trying to spend some time with Bolin and Opal lately. I’ve noticed it’s been good for me. Well, at least until the night we met up at the tea shop. That’s when the first attack hit. They were showing clips of it that they had gotten from the military base. I saw the soldiers get shot and blown up and I couldn’t help but think –_

_I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound so daunting and needy. It’s just been so long since I’ve heard from you. It’s been over a year. I’ve written you so much, I –_

_I hope you’re okay. I hope you’re alive. Please, please be okay. Please write to me if you can. I’ve slipped some paper and a pen in this one, hopefully it gets through the post and they don’t take it away. I know you said it’s not always easy to find supplies._

_I hope this letter gets to you and that you’re alive and okay. I hope I get to see you again someday and not in a body – I hope you’re alive, Korra._

_Please be okay._

_Love,_

_Asami’_

Korra couldn’t help the heaves that came from her chest. She brought the letter closer to her and buried her face in her knees.

“I’m so sorry, Asami,” she whispered between breaths. “I never should have lost hope. I never should have given up. I’m sorry.”

Determination set into her after the sobbing ceased. She straightened and wiped her tears away with the backs of her hands. When her lids separated, there was fire in her eyes.

She was going to survive, dammit, and _nothing_ was going to stop her now.

Not Kitsune.

Not Gankona.

Not the Lieutenant Colonel.

Not even Kuvira.

Korra pushed herself to her feet. She gathered her letters and put them in her jacket pocket for safe keeping – in the same pocket where the picture of her and Asami once was. She took the pen and blank paper Asami had sent her in the other, not daring to chance _someone_ taking it from her. She swung her door open with gusto and made her way to the women’s latrine.

She glanced at herself in the mirror, dirt covering the faint scars on her face. Korra twisted the tap on and washed all the dirt and blood away. She scrubbed her uniform the best she could. Some of the stains came out. Others would remain for life.

She ran a comb through her hair and tied it back into her wolf tail for the first time in what felt like months. She thought of her parents then and faltered a bit; she hadn’t written them at _all_. In fact, she didn’t even tell them that she was going to the frontlines, just that communication was going to be limited while she was on tour. For all she knew, they thought she was patrolling around the Fire Nation, safe and sound.

Korra contemplated writing them. She had an extra sheet from Asami and she managed to find some envelopes lying around the outpost before joining Kitsune in the infirmary.

But she decided against it.

_It’s better if they don’t know_ , she concluded. _They would just worry about me and feel shitty that they couldn’t help me, that I was in this mess._

She glanced in the mirror once more.

_But what am I going to tell them when I go home?_

_If you go home. You have a ways to go before you can start thinking about that._

Korra lowered her sight to the sink and stared at the water that flowed from the spout. It was then that she knew what she had to do.

She straightened her uniform and adjusted her rifle. From there, she barreled out of the bathroom to get some fucking food and write some fucking letters.

(------)

Korra was lacing her worn boots when there was a knock on her door.

“Come in,” she murmured, bringing her attention to the other leg.

The door creaked open just enough for someone to slide inside. The latch clicked shut, gathering Korra’s attention.

She glanced up at her guest and wished it had been someone else, almost _anyone_ else. She returned to lacing her boot. “What do you want,” she grumbled.

“I – I know it’s been a few months since we’ve talked,” she started, timid in her voice and stature, “and we’re about to enter a big battle. We’re taking on Zaofu, and I don’t know if we’ll live or die.”

Korra pulled her knife from its sheath and started sharpening it with her hand stone. “And?”

“And, well, I wanted to give you something.”

She stopped sharpening and glanced up at Kitsune.

There was a wrinkled piece of paper outstretched in her fingers.

Korra took it. “What is –”

She couldn’t get the question out from the lump that formed in her throat. Her expression morphed from anger to absolute shock.

There, in her fingers, was the picture she thought she had lost almost a year ago when Gankona had ripped it down the center.

But it was no longer torn apart. Her and Asami were no longer separated. They were together again, albeit by a very thin amount of tape. But there they were, there _she_ was, and Korra couldn’t help but gawk at Asami’s beauty. It had been too long since she’d seen her face, and it wasn’t that she had forgotten about the red of her ruby lips or the purple shade that made her peridots pop. No, she could never forget about that.

To see the picture, the beauty of Asami Sato, the memories that this image invoked before her again… it overwhelmed her.

“Why – why are you giving me this? I thought you hated me.” She met Kitsune’s eyes.

“I don’t hate you, Korra.” She joined her on the edge of Korra’s bed and glanced down at her hands. “I don’t think I ever could.”

Korra looked away and stared at the picture in her grip.

“I know it’s not the best tape job, but it took me months to find tape to fix it.”

“But why fix it at all?”

“Because you were right. About everything. We can’t help who we fall in love with. You love Asami. You always will. And I was an immature asshole about it. I threw away the letters you wanted to send Asami in a fit of rage after I healed in the infirmary, but I held onto this picture. I don’t know why. Maybe it fueled my motives, of splitting you two up. But – but then I realized… that’s fucked up. It’s _so_ fucked up. _I_ fucked up. And I knew I had to make it right.”

She paused to take a breath, struggling to control her tears for the umpteenth time since this incident occurred several months ago.

“I’m sorry, Korra. I’m sorry about everything. I hope someday you can forgive me, but if you don’t, then I understand. I just – I just wanted to give this to you while I still had a chance. I don’t know how this battle is going to end and I know you’re – you’re going to be in the thick of it all more than most. I thought it was really brave of you to volunteer to lead the assault and I wish I had your courage.” She paused a moment to gather herself. “We’ve chased Kuvira down to this point, but we’re outnumbered, outgunned, out _everything_. And I don’t know if we’ll live or not. I thought that, maybe – maybe this would help.”

Kitsune rose to her feet and made her way to the door, wiping her eyes as she did so.

“Kitsune,” Korra called.

She halted and faced her.

“Thank-you.”

Kitsune smiled. “Good luck out there.”

She nodded. “You, too.”

Kitsune turned to leave but stopped at the doorframe. “Korra?”

Korra looked up from the picture.

“You two are cute together.” Kitsune blushed just a bit. “Make sure you live. For _her_.”

She bobbed her head with determination and fire in her eyes. “I plan on it.”

“Good.” Kitsune grinned and left, a heavy weight off of her chest. She knew Korra would never forgive her for what she had done. What she had done was shitty and selfish and terrible. And Korra didn’t deserve that. She deserved someone better.

_Someone like Asami_.

She glanced back over her shoulder. She could see Korra staring at the picture through the crack of the door.

Korra traced over Asami’s face.

“Just one more battle, Asami, and this could all be over,” she whispered. “If we capture Kuvira, it’s all over. I just have to live through this. Then I can come back to you. Come back _home_. We can be safe again. We can be together. We can be happy.”

Kitsune’s expression softened.

_Be good to her, Asami. She deserves it._

Kitsune left Korra to ruminate so that she could prepare for the battle to come; it would be their biggest yet, and it would determine the fate of the entire war.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Korra is staring out over the landscape of the Fennu Mountains on the edge of their camp. Their unit is on their way to Zaofu with accurate intel that Kuvria is stationed there. Korra thinks about the past few months and how Kitsune and Tuzi saved her back in Ba Sing Se after her fight with Gankona. She thinks about Asami and worries about her; she knows that the Earth Empire is advancing on the United Republic of Nations and she doesn't know how far they've gotten to Republic City. Plus, she hasn't heard from Asami in months. No letters, no messages, nothing. She's worried that this is taking too much of a toll on Asami; they've been apart longer than they've been together since they became friends. Korra's sadness starts to overwhelm her. She's been declining for weeks, especially after the hard riding she's been getting from her Lieutenant Colonel. Worse, she's been losing hope. Her darker thoughts kick in and try to convince her to leave, but an explosion nearby in the camp steals her attention away. She rushes to the area to find many of the tents on fire and United Forces soldiers repelling the Earth Empire ambush. Korra starts rushing into the tents to find survivors. She finds Kitsune blacked out from a head injury in her tent, her jacket open as Kitsune was in the middle of changing. She goes to rescue her when an Earth Empire soldier tackles her to the ground. They struggle in a rolling skirmish but Korra fends him off. She knocks him out and rushes over to Kitsune. That's when she notices a letter in Kitsune's jacket, a letter that was /not/ addressed to Kitsune at all. It was a letter for /Korra/. Korra is caught off guard. Another explosion goes off and blows her to the ground. She recovers and crawls over to Kitsune. After come contemplation, she grabs Kitsune and Kitsune's bag and heads to safety. Tuzi calls her over to an armored truck and she finds shelter there. The United Forces fend off the Earth Empire attack and the convoy leaves as soon as possible. Korra checks on Kitsune's wounds while Tuzi is on the opposite side of the truck, tending to another injured soldier. Korra removes the letter from Kitsune's jacket and finds that it was, indeed, a letter to her from Asami. She rips the hole in Kitsune's bag open and several other letters spill out, all to her from Asami. She sits in the corner next to Kitsune and simply waits for her to wake up in her anger. Kitsune awakens in an infirmary about half a day's way west of where they were when she was last awake. Korra is sitting beside her in a bout of silent rage. When she asks what's wrong, Korra reveals that she knows about Kitsune taking the letters from her and slams them onto the bed. She wants answers. Kitsune breaks down and tells her that she's been hording the letters since Korra defended her from Gankona. She reveals that she's in love with Korra and hoped that, if she made it look like Asami didn't care about her, that Korra would fall in love with her instead. Korra explodes. She wants to know if Kitsune was keeping her letters from Asami, too, and why she kept them in the first place. Kitsune just says that she's sorry and explains that she didn't destroy them because she didn't want anyone to see her with them. She blames her actions on 'you can't control who you fall in love with' and Korra makes it very well known that she will /never/ be in love with Kitsune. She almost threatens to kill her, but stops herself, claiming that the only reason she isn't doing so is because Kitsune saved her in Ba Sing Se. She ends the friendship and storms off, leaving Tuzi, who had just joined them after hearing a smash (from Korra's rage), to wonder what it was that Kitsune did. Korra reads over the letters from Asami and cries as they shift from day-to-day talk to short letters about how worried Asami was about her after not hearing from her for so long. After her crying calms, Korra is more determined than ever to make it out of the war. She cleans herself up and, in the process, thinks of her parents and how they don't even know she's there. She considers writing to them and storms off to get food for the first time in days. Time fast-forwards several months. They are about to storm Zaofu with Korra volunteering to lead the assault (after no one else wanted to). Kitsune asks to see her after not speaking with her for months. She gives Korra the picture of her and Asami, which she managed to tape back together. She admits that she threw Korra's letters out in a fit of rage but kept the picture to fuel her motives until she realized how horrible she had been in the first place. She gives the picture to Korra and remarks on her bravery, hoping to better the situation between them. She apologizes to Korra and states that she isn't sure if they'll make it out of the battle, so she wanted to give this to Korra while she had the chance. Korra thanks her and glances at the picture, determined to survive.


	15. Costume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. This chapter has some triggers for wartime violence, depression, and alcohol use. I've added a summary to the end of the body of the fic because it's too long for the end notes. I apologize in advance for this one.

Hey Asami! You’re coming tonight, right?

Asami glanced at her phone with a mixed expression.

                I don’t know, Bolin.

Oh come on, pleeeeease Asami? Opal has been looking forward to seeing you. She hasn’t seen you in so long and she’s been so worried about her family in Zaofu. I think spending some time with her would really help.

Asami frowned. She was no stranger to the emotional pain that came with losing a loved one – especially a parent – and with Kuvira occupying Zaofu and the United Forces heading there for battle, from what she’s heard from the sergeant, it was no wonder Opal was so worried. Her entire _family_ was there while she was finishing her degree in Republic City. And in the sparse times that she _did_ share company with Bolin, Opal, and Mako after the six months between the attacks on the Huashi District in the beginning of fall until now, it was almost all Opal had thought about. She had gotten a message from her mother, though, before Kuvira cut them off, telling her to stay in Republic City and stay _safe_.

And so she did, because she knew she wasn’t a soldier and there was no _way_ she would be able to take on the Earth Empire on her own.

So her hope, too, was now on the dwindling United Forces coming through in the end of the war, whenever the hell that may be.

Reports were limited, of course, due to lack of information flow and outright secrecy; the United Forces wanted as much of an upper hand as possible. So in return for the information, Asami pledged to the sergeant to keep it a secret, though this didn’t stop her from assuring Opal in private about the situation – that the United Forces would win the battle and free her family.

But in her heart, she had her doubts. She was a numbers person, being the engineer that she was, and the odds were _not_ in the United Forces’ favor.

_Though they never seemed to be,_ she added.

_Yet, they still managed to get this far._

Asami sighed, her heart turning in her chest.

                Do you really think a costume party is going to help, Bolin?

Maybe. Maybe it won’t. I don’t know. But I’ve got to try something. I love her, Asami. It hurts to see her this upset every day.

She flinched to what she read. She understood the feeling too well. Memories flowed back to her of the _last_ party she went to. It had been with Korra and it ended with her unconscious and Korra bloodied from a fight that she wasn’t even aware of. She remembered waking up and seeing Korra at the foot of the bed, bruised and crusty and distant. Korra was in pain, but it wasn’t just physical. Asami knew in that moment that she wanted to comfort the love of her life with all of her heart. She, too, didn’t want to see Korra so upset.

Then Korra had broken the news to her and she understood; Asami had been drugged and Korra had fucked the guy up who dared to do it.

                I don’t know, Bolin. I don’t really do parties anymore. Not after last time.

I can understand that. But this one is different, Asami. It’s all people I know and I know that they would never, ever do that to someone. Plus, we’ll be keeping an eye on things, I promise.

Asami hesitated. There was an odd feeling in her gut that she wanted with all of her heart to trust.

But of all people, Opal had been there for her the most in her time of need to comfort her, when she was heartbroken and wrecked over Korra being away, over Korra being silent, over Korra potentially being _dead_.

Not that anything had changed. She hadn’t heard a single word from Korra since the fall after her breakdown in the tea shop. And as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she… she was losing hope. She didn’t want to, by all means, but the dark side of her was taking over, the voice that kept whispering to her as she tossed in her bed. It told stories about Korra’s corpse decaying in a puddle of mud somewhere in the Earth Kingdom.

                Fine, I’ll come. But only to support Opal.

It was the least she could do. She didn’t want to see Opal slip the way _she_ was, to fall into her sadness, into a depression and loneliness that she couldn’t seem to control.

The fact of the matter was that things were getting worse for Asami, and she had reverted back to burying and ignoring the situation to protect herself. As bad as the habit was, and as often as she tried to go against it, she was losing willpower and strength. She was losing this fight with her demons, her doubts, with the emptiness she felt during the cold nights of winter when even Naga would ignore her for such thoughts.

Her dreams were becoming darker, but not in the sense of content. Instead, she would simply dream of blackness, of emptiness, and awake feeling like she hadn’t slept a single minute. She would fall asleep in an empty bed and wake up in just as empty of one, if not moreso.

What concerned her the most, though, was not the darkening circles under her eyes or her weakening appetite.

It was the roses, the roses she had struggled to care for. They seemed to be wilting, despite how much she watered them, fertilized them, kept them warm, and tended to them with all of the tricks and tips that her mother had taught her when they gardened together in her youth.

None but one remained in good health, and this one, for reasons that absolutely baffled her, was alive and strong – twice the size of the others.

Awesome! Thank-you so much, Asami. I really hope this puts a smile on her face. I know seeing you there will. And don’t forget, you have to wear a costume!

Asami frowned. Where the hell was she supposed to find a costume in March?

                Am I allowed to come as an engineer?

-_-

Asami frowned again.

                Fine, fine, I’ll find something else.

Great, I’ll see you in a few hours! Bring your appetite.

_Easier said than done,_ Asami thought as she tossed her phone on her couch.

She moseyed over to her bedroom and searched her closet for something that could be passed as a costume. The box in the back corner caught her eye. Asami kneeled down and caressed the cardboard. She knew exactly what was inside; it was Korra’s clothes that she was forced to leave behind when she was shipped away. Asami had gathered all of her belongings and stored them in the closed crevices of her apartment, considering Korra was effectively kicked out of hers by the landlord after going to war.

Asami almost considered opening it. She wondered if the clothes still smelled like Korra. But she decided against it; she knew if she opened that box now, she would be opening everything she had been holding inside these past few months and she would _never_ make it to Opal’s party.

She pushed herself to her feet and ran her hands over the hangers in her closet. She stumbled upon the red dress she wore when she first hosted Korra for dinner after she returned from her semester abroad in the Fire Nation. Asami held it up and examined it in the light. It was pretty, but it wasn’t quite a costume.

She tossed it on her bed anyway and continued rifling. She stumbled across her helmet and goggles and a thought came to her mind.

She could be a racecar driver.

But even this made her think of Korra, for the only reason she had this in her apartment in the first place and not at her father’s estate was from her trip to the racetrack with Korra during one of their first dates.

And of course, that box popped up in the corner of her eye again, for she knew Korra’s helmet was inside, too.

Asami sighed and let her helmet and goggles fall to the floor. Soon, she joined them, and buried her head in her knees.

_Why does it hurt so much?_

_Because you miss Korra. Because you love her._

_Sometimes I wish I didn’t._

The thought sent chills down her spine. How could she possibly think such a thing? Korra was the first friend she had made in college after years of quiet loneliness hidden by overbooked semesters to hide the pain she felt from the loss of her mother.

But now, Korra was taken away from her, and it had been a year and a half since she heard anything from her. Not a single word or report about her whereabouts and whether she was alive or dead or safe or in danger.

As much as she tried to rid herself of the horrid thoughts, she couldn’t help but believe that Korra was, indeed, _dead_.

_“What is the probability that a low-level trained soldier would survive on the front lines with this kind of war and battling happening?”_

The notion continued to pop up in her head ever since Mako had spoken the words in that tea shop.

Unfortunately for her, Asami was a numbers person, and she knew that this probability was decreasing with each report she heard on the news or from the sergeant, when he _actually_ had information.

This and the silence, the lack of response from her letters, made it harder and harder for her to hold on.

She wrapped her arms around herself and held her elbows, wishing someone was there to hold her instead.

To help her stay together.

To give her strength.

She thought of her breakdown in the rain outside of the tea shop, of Mako’s arms keeping her close.

And it felt _good_ , as much as she didn’t want to say it. She felt less alone then. Less distant. Less cold.

She felt loved and comforted.

She felt _safe_.

Asami leaned against the back wall of her closet, letting herself get enveloped by the surrounding clothes. It was a poor replicate for the comfort she felt with Mako or with Korra or with Bolin or Opal.

It was then that she knew she _had_ to go to the party. She couldn’t keep cutting herself off from everyone. It wasn’t _helping_. It was only making things worse.

She needed her friends. She needed their support. She needed to risk being vulnerable, just a bit, just as she had with Korra when they first met and went to the Gardens.

And her friends needed _her_.

Or, at least, Opal did.

Asami rubbed her arms and got herself together. She could do this. She could be strong. She had been strong for so long, even when she felt desolate and weak.

Her and Opal could lean on each other, with hugs from Mako and Bolin to keep them together.

She smiled to this. It would be nice to be with them, to see them laughing and grinning at what was likely to be a bad joke from Bolin.

Maybe she would laugh, too.

Asami clung to this little ray of hope for a piece of happiness in the dullness that she felt for her situation. Even if this didn’t improve things overall, it would at least be a distraction for her to feel temporarily at ease.

And at this point, temporary was more than enough for her.

She pushed herself up with a new wave of energy that washed over her. She glanced at the red dress once more and decided to wear it. While it wasn’t quite a costume, it was the best thing she had, and dammit, it had been too long since she wore a dress to something that wasn’t work related. By the Spirits, she was going to wear one tonight.

Asami stripped her clothes and caught herself in the mirror. She played with her hair, unsure of just when or how it had started to get so long and wavy. She adjusted her bra and pulled on her cheeks, noting the circles under her eyes. Perhaps this party would tire herself out enough for her to get a good night’s sleep.

But how could she possibly dance when Korra could be dead?

The thought forced her to halt and stare at herself in the mirror. She inched closer, noting the brokenness that even _she_ could see in her peridots.

_Maybe you should move on._

Asami almost punched the mirror to the dark thought that crossed her head.

_Who the fuck do you think you are?_ Her internal voice was screaming. _I love Korra. And until I know for sure what happened to her, I will never give up on her. _

_You haven’t heard from her in over a year._

_That doesn’t mean she’s dead._

_That’s true. But it could mean that she’s moved on. What if she met someone else?_

_Korra – Korra would never do that. I just know she wouldn’t._

_Just as much as you know that she’s alive?_

“Fuck you,” she snarled. “Fuck you!” She shoved her mirror off of her wall. It shattered into pieces beside her. “Fuck. You.”

Naga came barreling in with curiosity and concern in her eyes. She walked over to Asami, sniffing.

Asami knelt down and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Hey, girl. I’m – I’m sorry if I scared you.” She sat on the floor and rubbed her eyes. “I just… things have been hard.”

Naga joined her side and whimpered.

Asami glanced at her. Her expression softened. “I guess you would understand too, huh, girl?”

Naga mewled and lowered herself to the ground.

“You miss Korra, too.”

She barked, as if that weren’t an obvious thing to know about her.

Asami lifted her eyes back to the box in her closet.

_Of course_.

“Come here, Naga. I’ve got something for you.”

Asami pushed herself to her feet and walked over to the closet.

Naga followed, her tail wagging in excitement. Once she caught a sniff of the box, she started barking excitedly.

Asami smiled and kneeled down. “I can’t believe I never thought to give you something of Korra’s to snuggle with. I guess keeping my door shut all the time made me –”

She almost said ‘forget about Korra’ but she stopped herself. She had forgotten about the box, she concluded, not the person.

Or perhaps _convinced_ was the word she was looking for.

Asami shook her head and pried the cardboard open.

There sat most of Korra’s wardrobe, folded neatly just as Asami had left it. She felt her heart tug and her stomach turn.

Would this be the last she would ever have of Korra?

Asami didn’t want to think about it. She fought the tears that welled into her eyes and grabbed the article of clothing on the top. She handed the shirt to Naga. “Does this smell like her?”

Naga barked and ripped it from Asami’s grip. She pranced around with it in excitement, covering the ache in her heart of having just the cloth and not the person.

Asami was in much of the same state, though she couldn’t help the smile on her face as she watched Naga run around. It had been the first time she had seen Naga so energetic in months.

And for the first time in what felt like forever, she giggled.

“It’s all yours, Naga. Don’t tear this one up, though, like you did with Mako’s jacket.”

Naga halted at the name and growled. When she realized she had Korra’s shirt in her mouth, she forgot her anger and frolicked around once more.

Asami smiled and pulled one of the articles from the box as well. It was a small pelt that Korra would sometimes wear around her waist when it was cold out and lend to Asami as they walked, knowing that her girlfriend was _always_ colder than she was. Asami smirked and held it to her nose. It really _did_ smell like Korra. She glanced up at the roses at that moment and she could have sworn the last rose to remain looked greener than before, and the ones that were wilted almost perked up beside it.

_I must really be getting delusional from all this lack of sleep._

She yawned and held the fur to her chest. She sealed the box up as Naga plopped in the corner near the nightstand that held the picture of Korra and Asami. Asami crawled to her feet and laid the pelt on her bed. She glanced down at Naga, who was nose deep in the shirt, and scratched her ear.

“The shirt is for you, the pelt is for me. Deal?”

Naga barked and continued sniffing the fabric.

Asami’s expression softened. The broken mirror on her floor caught her attention. She sighed and picked the glass pieces up, careful not to cut herself.

_You’re getting Korra’s temper, aren’t you?_

Her heartstring pulled. She took a breath to gather her strength.

_Get it together, Asami._

She nodded and grabbed the dress from her bed. She slipped into it and zipped it up, the piece fitting around her with ease.

“How do I look, Naga?”

Naga looked up at her with an ear raised.

Asami rotated once or twice. Something didn’t feel right about her wearing this dress, despite Naga’s barking affirmation.

_What is missing?_

_You know what’s missing._

She sighed and smoothed her palms over the fabric. It was true. She knew exactly what was missing: Korra, in a blue suit, bringing her flowers and drinking wine with her, sharing a meal with her and fucking her in this very dress.

_Maybe I shouldn’t wear it_ , she thought to herself, the memory of Korra’s touch on her skin and her neck and between her legs making her flush. It had been too long since she’d felt such pleasure, by Korra’s hand or her own. She ran her fingers through her hair and took another breath.

_It’s going to be okay. Besides, this is for Opal. You’re doing this for Opal._

Asami nodded in determination. She grabbed her phone and keys and shooed Naga out of her bedroom.

“I’ll be back in a little while, Naga. You be good, okay?”

Naga barked and continued sniffing Korra’s shirt after settling on her bed in the living room.

She slipped on a pair of heels, tidied her makeup and hair, and dashed out the door, her nose in her cell phone to tell Bolin that she was on her way.

(-)

“Asami! I’m so glad you came!” Bolin wrapped his almost-bare arms around Asami. “Wait, what are you supposed to be?”

“I should ask you the same thing,” Asami poked at him. She had no clue who Bolin was trying to impersonate with his open fur vest, short blue trousers, and blue boots and forearm covers that, for some reason, reminded her of Korra.

She hid the pang in her heart at the thought.

“I’m Nuktuk, of course!” He exclaimed, his arms wide open as if to show himself off.

Asami raised a brow. “Nuktuk?”

“Yeah! You know, from that new movie that came out. ‘The Adventures of Nuktuk: Hero of the South’.” He flexed as he broadcasted the name of the movie.

Asami chuckled. “I haven’t seen that movie yet.”

“Then you won’t understand my costume, either.”

Opal attracted their attention as she joined the pair by the door. She also wore blue forearm bands and a fur lined blue top and bottom, though her top was tied closed instead of open like Bolin’s. Her hair is what stood out the most, as it was red instead of her normal black color.

“I’m Ginger, Nuktuk’s girlfriend.”

Asami smiled behind her hand. “How did you get your hair that color?”

“Spray paint!” Bolin cheered.

“Sorry I’m late,” a voice behind her interrupted.

Though it was more the hand on her bare shoulder that got her attention.

Asami turned around to find a smiling Mako.

“Hey, Asami. It’s good to see you. You, uh – look nice.”

Asami looked away with a smile on her face. “Oh, thank-you. It’s just something I picked up when I studied abroad in the Fire Nation.” She paused a moment, realizing that Mako was simply in his blue-gray police uniform. “Wait a minute,” she pouted, narrowing her eyes at Mako, “how come you got to be a cop but I couldn’t be an engineer?”

“It was the only way we could get him to come,” Bolin replied. “Besides, you never told me what _you_ are, Asami.” Bolin grabbed her attention once more, giving his brother a look before Asami turned to him.

She shrugged. “I don’t know, a princess? It was the most costume-y thing I had in my closet.”

“Works for me!” Bolin grabbed her hand. “Come on, let’s go join the party.”

Before she could protest, she was being pulled to the dance floor. Opal joined them while Mako watched from the sidelines, as dancing just wasn’t really his thing.

Asami could feel the thrum of the music in her chest, but something just wasn’t right. Part of her _wanted_ to dance, but she found that the part that _couldn’t_ prevented her from doing so. The happiness faded from her face. She caught up to Bolin and Opal, who were dancing around each other, and called to them.

“I think I’m going to use the restroom.”

Bolin nodded and went back to his routine with Opal.

Asami meandered out of the small crowd and slipped into the bathroom. She shut the door and leaned against it, unsure of what was ailing her.

But she knew. She knew exactly what was wrong.

She folded her arms across her chest and sighed.

_Korra would love something like this._

Asami drew a breath. She wasn’t about to break down. Not here. Not now. She pushed herself off of the door and glanced at herself in the mirror.

_Come on, you can do this._

She put on her best face and returned to the party, though _this_ time, she went to the sidelines instead of on the dance floor. Asami couldn’t help but smile as she watched Opal laugh with Bolin. The party had been working just as Bolin planned, even if it _was_ just temporary.

If only it would work for her.

“Hey, I brought you a drink.” Mako approached her and held out a cup. “You looked thirsty.”

Asami hesitated as she stared at the silver cup. It wasn’t that she thought Mako would ever drug her; she knew he was a better person than that. He was a law abiding cop through and through and too noble to ever play such a dirty game. If anything, it was the memory of the _last_ time something like this had happened that forced her to halt.

Mako frowned. “Is everything okay?”

Asami nodded. She took it cautiously. “What’s in it?”

He shrugged. “’A bunch of juice’ is what Bolin told me.”

Asami sniffed it, not caring how weird she looked while doing so. She swirled it around to see if there was anything on the bottom.

“Do you not like juice?”

“No, no, I do. I just…” Asami _really_ didn’t want to get into what happened the last time she went to a party. She pushed the memory away and swallowed her carefulness. “Cheers?” She held her cup up, hoping her ploy would work.

Mako smiled and held his cup up to hers. “Cheers.”

Asami took a sip and found the ‘bunch of juice’ to be quite delicious.

It wasn’t until she finished her third that she realized there was alcohol in it. _Strong_ alcohol.

“Are you okay, Asami?” Mako wobbled closer and bent over, trying to look into Asami’s eyes.

“I need to sit down.”

Mako nodded and guided her to the couch nearby. He helped her sit the best he could, his own head a bit swirly from the concoction. He, too, had no idea that Bolin had put alcohol in the punch.

Neither did Opal from the looks of it as she plopped right down next to Asami.

“I’m getting too tired to dance, and it seems like the party is dying down.” She glanced around and realized it was only the three of them in the room. The music was cut off, and Bolin was singing some mashed mangle of words in the kitchen down the hall. Opal turned back to Asami. “Even though you didn’t really dance, I’m glad you’re here, Asami.” She grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “It means a lot to me that you showed up. I’ve missed seeing you and talking to you. How have you been lately?”

Asami blinked several times and dropped her sight to the floor, the alcohol in her head breaking down her inhibition and amplifying her emotions. It had been two years since she had consumed _any_ sort of alcoholic drink, ever since the last party she had been to with Korra. Even at the galas her father hosted or the holiday gatherings for her work, she had refused the wines and settled on water. Her tolerance was shot, and she could feel it.

Thoughts of Korra crawled into her mind. The emptiness returned, and it gripped her like never before.

“I miss Korra,” she murmured, fighting the sensation to cry. She had to be strong, for Opal.

“I miss her, too. I know I don’t know her as well, but she seemed pretty cool.”

Asami smiled and nodded, the statement ringing true.

They all jumped when they heard a crash from the kitchen.

Opal shot up with a worried face. “Bolin?” She called to him and sprinted away when she heard him groan.

Asami almost wanted to follow her, but just the flinch on the couch made her head swirl. She had no idea what Bolin put in that juice but it was hitting her hard. She rubbed her eyes and took a breath, knowing firsthand that standing in this instance probably wasn’t the best idea.

“Are you okay, Asami?”

She nodded. “I’m fine. Just tired.” She murmured back her usual excuse in an instant.

“Are you sure? Because you’re crying.”

“What?” She pulled her hands away to find them wet and stained with her makeup.

“Why are you – why are you crying, Asami?”

A finger wiped her tears away.

“I – I – I miss Korra. I miss her so much.” She began, letting everything out as she seemed to be doing time and time again after holding it in for too long. “I still haven’t heard anything from her. It’s been a year and a half and I still don’t know if she’s dead or alive or where she is or what’s happening to her. And it’s driving me insane. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. And sometimes I just wish she didn’t have such a hold on me. I haven’t seen her in almost two years and she’s still the center of my life. Why am I this broken? Why am I so – so weak? Why won’t she just write back to me?”

Asami covered her face and sobbed, all control lost.

A pair of arms wrapped around her and rubbed her back. A gentle voice whispered to her, but it wasn’t the voice she was expecting.

In fact, it was enough to make her eyes jolt open.

There she was, right in front of her swaying eyes.

Korra.

Asami blinked again but the image didn’t change.

It was simply Korra. In the flesh. A soft expression on her face. Concern and love in her eyes. Her torso covered in the grayish uniform that she remembered when Korra was shipped away.

Asami was in awe. Her heart jumped in her chest. A smile sprawled across her face. She was absolutely speechless as the tears streamed down her cheeks. She closed her eyes as Korra moved in closer knowing exactly what was about to happen.

She moaned the moment their lips touched. The sensation was to die for.

She wrapped her fingers into Korra’s hair. It was just as she remembered.

She moaned again when Korra’s hand trailed down her back while the other squeezed her shoulder.

She had missed this. Missed Korra’s touch. Missed her intoxicating scent. Missed _her_.

Asami was on her back before she knew it, the couch soft and comfortable. She wrapped her legs around Korra’s waist and moaned once more as their lips touched.

And again.

And again.

She felt loved. She felt safe. She felt warm all over. She felt whole again.

It wasn’t until a louder, much closer smash rang in her ears did she snap out of the wonderful feelings of Korra touching her body.

Her heart dropped when it was followed with a mighty yell from Bolin.

“ _What the fuck are you **doing**?!_ ”

When Asami opened her eyes – in _actuality_ this time – her heart and stomach plummeted into the earth. She saw the red smear of her lipstick on the pair of lips across from her, but it wasn’t Korra’s lips, as she was expecting.

No. It was _Mako’s_.

Bolin ripped Mako off of Asami and held him against the wall. “Mako, I fucking _told you time and time again, Asami is **off** **limits**!!_ ” He spun around from his disoriented brother to face Asami. “And Asami! You have a _girlfriend_ , a girlfriend who has spent the last two years _at **war against her will**_. Or did you _forget_ about her out there, risking her life, doing everything she can to come back home to you? _What the hell were you thinking_?”

It was then that Asami had realized what she had done.

She had kissed Mako.

Not only that, but she had _made out_ with him, let him crawl over her body, _enjoyed_ the sensations he had given her.

All because she had thought he was Korra in her drunken haze.

Her chest constricted. She couldn’t find breath.

All she could do was cry.

“What – what have I done?” She hyperventilated. “What have I done?!”

Opal wrapped her arms around her in an attempt to soothe her.

“Asami, Asami look at me. It’s going to be alright. Asami?”

That was when Opal smelled the alcohol on Asami’s breath.

“Bolin, she had the punch.”

His face was in shock. “What? I told Li not to give her _any_ drink that wasn’t water. Who gave her the punch?”

“I did,” Mako mentioned, still a bit weary over everything that was happening. “Was – was I not – supposed to?”

Bolin turned to him, anger in his face. “No. No you _weren’t_. Asami isn’t supposed to have _any_ alcohol!”

“Well how the hell was I supposed to know that?!” He barked back.

“Because I _fucking_ told you to stay the fuck away from her, _that’s_ how.” Bolin rubbed his face and gritted his teeth. “Fucking hell, this is a mess. We were supposed to be keeping an eye on everything. I just _had_ to fall off that stool with all of the plates, didn’t I?”

Asami’s sobbing interrupted them. “I – I – I want – want to – to go – home.” Asami choked out in her hysterics.

“Shh, shh, okay, Asami. We’ll get you home.”

Asami pulled away. “No.” She growled. “No, I’m going – going home on my – own.” She tried to stand but ended up falling over.

Opal caught her and lowered her to the ground.

Bolin rushed to her side.

“Did you drive, Asami?”

She nodded as she fished for her keys from her purse. Once they were in her hand, Opal ripped them away.

“There’s no way in hell I’m letting you drive home like this. You’re too drunk.”

Asami reached for them, but Bolin held her back.

Then he snatched the keys from Opal.

“If you think I’m letting you drive, Opal, you’re crazy.”

She glared at him. “Fine. _I’ll_ walk Asami home. You – you keep _him_ ,” she growled and pointed at Mako, “contained before he does any more damage.”

Bolin nodded and turned to Mako, who was motioning to come over and help Asami. He stood up and put himself between Asami and his brother. “ _Oh_ no, you better back up Mako. Just because you’re a cop and my brother, don’t think I won’t knock you the fuck out right _now_.” He shoved Mako back against the wall. “I fucking _told_ you, _Asami is off **limits**_. But do you fucking listen? No. You don’t. I can’t _believe_ –”

Opal leaned down and tried to look into Asami’s weeping eyes. “Come on,” she whispered, “I’m taking you home. You – you don’t need to see this.”

Asami buried her face into Opal’s shoulder and cried.

“What have I done?”

(-)

She stumbled up the steps to her apartment, leaning heavily on Opal for support. Asami hadn’t realized just how drunk she was. Nor did she stop crying.

“Do you have a spare key to your apartment, Asami?”

She nodded and staggered over to one of the bricks on the edge of her porch. She tugged at it until it hurled out to the ground. It smashed into pieces on the cement. Asami grabbed the key in the crevice and handed it to Opal.

Opal took it and unlocked the door to a barking Naga.

It was then that she noticed something sticking out of Asami’s mailbox.

She grabbed it on her way and helped Asami to the couch.

Naga bounced around them in excitement until she caught Mako’s scent on Asami’s dress.

Her barks turned to deep growls. She bared her teeth at Asami and snarled, crouched down to the ground as if she were ready to pounce.

This didn’t go unnoticed by Asami.

“I’m sorry, Naga. I’m so sorry. I – I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”

Naga barked loudly at her and continued grumbling. She wanted Asami gone and out of her sight. She snarled at her again and even tried to lunge at her.

“Naga, no!” Opal pushed her away before she could sink her teeth into Asami’s dress. She grabbed Naga’s collar and dragged her to the bathroom, all the while Naga bayed viciously and struggled against Opal so she could get Asami. Opal slammed the door shut and winced to Naga’s mixture of painful cries and angry barks.

“Even Naga knows. I fucked up, Opal. I fucked up so bad.” Asami curled into herself and clutched one of her couch pillows to her face. “How – how could I do that? How could I do that – to Korra?”

“You made a mistake, Asami. It’s going to be okay.”

Asami sniveled and fought for breath. “I – I thought it was her. I thought Mako was – I thought I saw Korra. I should have known. I should have fucking known. I – I hate myself. I fucking _hate_ myself for what I’ve done. Why didn’t I realize – why am I so _stupid_? She wasn’t at the party, she never _was_. She never _will_ be because she’s probably fucking – fucking – fucking –” Asami couldn’t get the word out. More tears poured from her cheeks. “Gone,” she whispered, her heart breaking to the thought.

“I wouldn’t go that far, Asami.”

“Then how do you explain the silence? She hasn’t written me in over a year. I – I can’t – it’s almost like I can’t even _feel_ her anymore.”

“Then you need to feel harder.”

A tap on her shoulder got her attention. But it wasn’t that of a finger.

It was an envelope.

Asami sat up slowly, her mouth agape at the parcel before her. “Wh – what’s this?” She reached a shaky hand out and grabbed it. She tried to read the script, but her eyes were swirling too much. “I – I can’t read it, Opal. Can you – can you read it to me?”

“Sure.” She smiled and took the envelope from Asami. “You do know what this is, don’t you?”

Asami shook her head.

“It’s a letter from Korra.”

“What? A – a letter? From – from _Korra_?” There was a mixture of emotions in her voice. “Open it, open it! What does it say?”

Opal pried the envelope open as gentle as possible. She read the contents aloud to Asami:

_‘Dear Asami,_

_I am so sorry. I am sorry for everything. All this time – I was under the impression that you hadn’t written to me in months and months. I never got your letters until now. And after reading them, it seems you never got mine. I’ve been writing to you every chance I could get and I’ve sent you at least ten letters in the last few months._

_But you never got them. And I never got yours._

_I can’t believe that I ever doubted you, that I ever thought that you would – that you wouldn’t write to me anymore. That you stopped caring. That you moved on to someone else, someone who was there for you to be with you and comfort you and make you smile. Someone who wasn’t stuck in a war. Or that you were de – I don’t know how deep the Earth Empire has gotten into the United Republic of Nations. I started losing hope. The war – it’s been wrecking me, Asami. It’s so fucked up. Everything is so fucked up._

_I’m so fu –_

_I’m sorry that I ever felt that way. I know that you love me and would never stop caring. And I’ll never stop caring about you, too._

_I miss you so much. You’re all that I think about in my spare time. I always keep my eye out for pens and paper and envelopes to send you letters while we’re marching to the next village or city. I’m glad you included some paper and a pen in one of your letters; all I had were a few envelopes that I traded my compass for._

_I miss you. So so much. I know I already said that, but I can’t say it enough. And I love you, Asami. I love you with all of my heart, every last piece of it. It’s all yours, whether I make it out of this fucking war or not._

_I’m so sorry that my letters never got to you and that I caused you so much hurt and pain because of it. One of the soldiers in my squadron was holding my letters back and hording yours as they came in the mail. She was – she wanted us to think that we forgot about each other. She wanted to tear us apart. She kept saying things to me like ‘perhaps Asami is just too busy to write to you’ or ‘maybe she just forgot’. She even went so far as to tell me – to plant these lies in my head that you had moved on to someone new. That the time apart from each other had made you forget about me. Made you move on. And I denied it at first, but in the late nights on guard when I hadn’t slept in days, it was all I could think about. _

_I started believing her. I believed every fucking word she said._

_But she was lying. She was fucking lying the entire fucking time. You had written me. And I found the letters when I rescued her from an explosion and her bag was torn open. They were all there, all in her fucking bag. She lied to me, and she hurt you in the process._

_All this time, I thought you were getting my letters and just not writing back, when you thought just the opposite. _

_She wanted me to fall in love with her. She wanted to replace you in my heart._

_But what she failed to realize is that no one can replace you, Asami. Ever. You’re my everything. You’re the love of my life. You’re the person I think about and dream about. I am so deeply in love with you, and when I realized what was happening… the only reason I spared her life was because she saved my ass in Ba Sing Se when I got really hurt after fighting another soldier who had – let’s not talk about Gankona. He’s an asshole and he got what he deserved. But we are no longer on speaking terms. I love you, Asami. That will never, ever change. _

_I’m so sorry that this all got so fucked up. People are fucked up. I don’t understand why some people are so cruel._

_I wish more people were like you. You’re so gentle and kind and loving. I miss you. I miss seeing your face and hearing your voice. I miss your jasmine scent and the feel of your skin against mine. I miss going to the Gardens with you and lounging on the couch while you read and play with my hair. When I got your letters, I was reminded of all of these things again, and I cried, Asami. I cried so much. I just miss you. I love you. And it hurts me so much knowing I cause you so much pain by being away._

_I hope you’re doing alright, but my heart tells me that you aren’t. And it’s all my fault. I’m so sorry, Asami. I wish this war was over. Hopefully, in a few months, it will be._

_It’s winter now, and we are marching on Zaofu. I hope Opal’s family is okay. I know I don’t know her that well, but I remember her mentioning her family is from there. From what I’ve heard the lieutenant colonel say, we’ll be on the front lines in that battle. Kuvira is supposed to be there, actually this time, not like the false intel we got for Ba Sing Se._

_I just – I wish I was with you in Republic City, to make you happy again and to keep you safe. I don’t know how deep the Earth Empire has gotten, but please please be safe. If they get anywhere near Republic City, please flee. Go somewhere safe. The Fire Nation or hell, even go to my parents’ house in the Southern Water Tribe. They know all about you. They’ll keep you safe and sheltered. Don’t stay in the City if it’s dangerous. _

_I’ll find you, Asami. If you have to flee, I’ll find you. I’ll search the ends of the earth for you if I have to._

_Fuck, I miss you so much. I’m sorry for the splotches on this. I can’t stop crying while I write it. Everything – the world is so fucked up, Asami. And I’m so sorry for all of the pain that I caused you. I’m so sorry._

_I hope you get this letter. We are marching to Zaofu as I write this. Well, not technically as I write it, I’m just sitting against the wall of the outpost we’re recovering in. It’s cold out here. Anyway, we’ll be heading to Zaofu soon. We should be there by March. I just want this war to end. I want to come home. I want to be with you and make you happy again and show you how much I love you in whatever way that I can. _

_But I don’t know if I’ll make it out of this battle._

_I’ll try to write to you again if I can, but we’ll be making haste after this, and the marching has really been taking a toll on me. My lieutenant colonel has been riding me hard ever since I beat the shit out of Gankona._

_But I’m going to do everything I can to survive, because of you, Asami. Because of Naga. Because of my parents. Because of all the people who care about me._

_I love you. I love you so much. If this is my last letter to you, I want you to know that I love you, with every fiber of my being, I fucking love you Asami Sato. I couldn’t imagine my life without you and I’m so glad that I found the courage to talk to you three years ago. I’m so grateful and happy that you became my friend._

_I’m so happy I fell in love with you._

_I know I haven’t been the best person in the world, and I know that I’ve hurt you. I am so sorry that I have. But I love you, Asami. If I don’t get to see you again or write to you again, I want you to know that._

_I love you._

_I love you, Asami fucking Sato._

_Please take care of yourself and be safe. If the City is in danger, run. I’ll find you._

_Love always and forever,_

_Korra.’_

Asami… Asami was at a loss for words. There were so many emotions running around her head and in her heart right now. Her stomach was turning; she felt like she was going to throw up. Her whole body was agape.

Korra had written to her. She had written to her all this time. Korra loved her. She never stopped loving her.

Tears fell down her cheeks. It was the only thing she could do.

“Asami? Are you okay?” Opal set the letter down and joined her on the couch.

A buzz in her pocket interrupted her attempt to respond. Asami pulled her phone out and saw it was a text, though she was still too drunk to see who it was from. She held her phone out to Opal with a silent plea for her to read it.

Opal took her phone and narrowed her eyes. “It’s from Bolin.”

Asami watched as Opal grabbed her TV remote and flicked it on.

“What – what did it say, Opal?”

Opal flipped through the channels, ignoring Asami.

Asami pulled the phone from her grasp and squinted to try and read the text.

_Don’t let Opal see the news._

She glanced up but it was too late.

Opal had found a broadcast, a _live_ one, near a base outpost in Zaofu.

Asami stared at the screen, her heart sinking into the earth once more.

They both gazed in shock at the scene. In the center of Zaofu was a huge cloud of smoke and bright light. They could see United Forces soldiers and Earth Empire soldiers alike, either running from the blast, cowering to it behind nearby debris, or being blown away from it.

The words of the broadcaster were faint in their ears, covered up by the intense ringing in their drums. They picked up phrases here and there.

Chemical explosives.

Half of Zaofu.

_“It’s winter now, and we are marching on Zaofu.”_

_“Kuvira is supposed to be there”_

United Forces.

_“From what I’ve heard the lieutenant colonel say, we’ll be on the front lines in that battle.”_

_“But I don’t know if I’ll make it out of this battle.”_

_“I just want this war to end.”_

Hundreds of bodies.

_“I hope Opal’s family is okay.”_

Possibly Kuvira’s.

More information to come later.

On March 31st at midnight, a deadly explosion –

_“–we’ll be heading to Zaofu soon. We should be there by March.”_

Too dangerous to investigate the scene.

Unknown survivors.

_“But I’m going to do everything I can to survive, because of you, Asami.”_

Blast radius.

Crews were waiting for the surge to die down before making rescue efforts –

_“But I don’t know if I’ll make it out of this battle.”_

_“If this is my last letter to you, I want you to know that I love you, with every fiber of my being, I fucking love you Asami Sato.”_

All the pair could do was stare at the screen and cry silent tears as their worlds fell apart.

Opal cried for her family

Asami cried for Korra.

 

 (-------)

Summary: Bolin invites Asami to a costume party to cheer Opal up; Opal's family is compromised due to Kuvira's occupation of Zaofu. Asami is hesitant because it would be the first non-work associated party she's been to since the one she went to with Korra when she was drugged. Bolin begs her to go, and after some reflection about her current feelings of despair and the way she felt when she saw Korra in such pain, she agrees, because she doesn't want Opal to be in the same state as she was; sad and losing hope. Opal had been there for her the most to comfort her, so she decided she had to return the favor. Asami rummages in her closet to find a costume and comes across the dress she wore when her and Korra first had dinner after her semester abroad. She puts it on her bed and finds her racer helmet. She reflects both times about how these items make her think of Korra. She eyes the box in her closet that has Korra's belongings in it that she had to collect when Korra was shipped to war, considering her landlord kicked her out due to this. She was tempted to open it, but she knew it would only bring up the sad feelings she had been holding inside for the past few months. Asami was slipping and reverting back to her old habits of burying everything and ignoring it, as much as she didn't want to. She had been sleeping less and eating less. Three of the four roses she had were wilting, even though she had been tending to them as much as possible. One of them was strong and double size of the others, which baffled her. Asami shook it off and got undressed. She glanced at herself in the mirror and noticed the brokenness in her eyes. She wishes that she didn't feel so broken and a voice in her head tells her she should move on from Korra because Korra is either dead or has moved on from her after not writing her for  year and a half. Asami tells the voice to 'fuck off' and smashes her mirror. Naga bolts in to see what is wrong and Asami talks to her about missing Korra. She sees how sad Naga is and gives her a piece of Korra's clothing from the box to cheer her up. She pulls out a small pelt of Korra's and puts it on her bed to remind her of the woman she missed; it still smelled like her. Asami gets dressed in the mirror but still feels like something is missing. That something, of course, is Korra. She reminisces their night together when she was in that dress, eating food with Korra and getting fucked by her. She missed her touch and the sensations she gave her. She shoos Naga out of her room and makes her way to Bolin's party with her nose in her phone. When she gets they, Bolin and Opal greet her dressed as Nuktuk and Ginger. Mako arrives as a police officer and remarks on how Asami looks. She thanks him, but not without an unnoticed look from Bolin to Mako. Bolin takes Asami to the dance floor, but she doesn't feel much like dancing. She excuses herself and takes a moment to gather herself in the bathroom. Once she's calm, she returns to the party but stays on the sidelines. Mako joins her and gives her a drink. She's hesitant to take it, considering her last was drugged, but she eventually trusts Mako. Neither of them realize there was alcohol in the 'bunch of juices' that Bolin describes to Mako that's in the punch. Asami doesn't realize how strong it is or that it's even there until she finishes her third. She hadn't had an ounce of alcohol in almost two years. Her tolerance is shot. She has Mako help her to the couch because her head feels so dizzy. The aprt is dead, Asami having spent her whole time talking to Mako. It's just Asami, Mako, Opal, and Bolin now. Opal joins them and thanks Asami for coming. She asks how Asami's been and Asami starts to break down due to the alcohol worsening her emotions. She starts to talk about Korra when there's a crash in the kitchen where Bolin is. Opal rushes away to check on him, leaving Asami and Mako on the couch. Asami starts to cry, though she claims she's fine, and when asked why, she spills her guts about Korra and the hold she has on her. She feels weak that she's been hurting so much and for so long. A finger dries her tears and holds her close. When she opens her eyes, Korra is before her. Asami is in shock and she automatically closes her eyes and leans closer when Korra motions to do the same. They kiss and she lets out a moan. Before she knows it, she's on her back on the couch, moaning and making out with Korra. Another, much closer crash, snaps her out of it, which is followed by Bolin screaming "What are you doing?". It's then that Asami realizes the horrible mistake she made; she wasn't kissing Korra, as she was made to believe in her drunken stupor. In actuality, she was kissing Mako. She freaks out and falls to the ground while Bolin holds Mako against the wall and yells at him, telling him that "Asami was always off limits". Opal tends to Asami and tells her she'll walk her home, taking her keys away because Asami is too drunk to drive. Opal walks Asami home while Bolin continues to reprimand Mako. Opal grabs a letter that is sticking out of Asami's mailbox before helping her into her apartment. When Asami gets home, Naga smells Mako on her and starts growling. Asami apologizes to Naga and Naga lunges at her, looking to strike. Opal pushes her away and locks Naga in the bathroom. She returns to the sobbing Asami and tries to comfort her. Asami hates herself for kissing Mako and talks about how she thinks Korra might be dead. She says she can't even feel Korra anymore but Opal tells her to feel harder. She pokes Asami with the envelope to get her attention. Asami, being too drunk to read the script, asks Opal to read the letter to her. Opal says its from Korra, and Asami gets excited. In Korra's letter, she talks about how sorry she is for being gone for so log, and for her letters not reaching Asami and for causing Asami so much pain. She apologizes profusely and explains the situation that has been happening with her and Kitsune, Gankona, and the lieutenant colonel briefly. She tells Asami about how Kitsune was keeping the letters from Asami and from Korra in hopes of ruining their relationship and getting Korra to fall in love with her instead. She apologizes for ever believing her lie and for doubting that Asami would ever forget to write her or move on. She remarks about how fucked up the world is and wishes more people were as kind and caring as Asami. She goes on to explain how much she misses Asami and how much she loves her, with every fiber of her being. Their unit is marching to Zafou and should be there by March, hoping to stop Kuvira based on accurate intel they received about her location there and end the war. Korra isn't sure if she'll make it out of this battle, and wants to let Asami know that, if this is the last letter she writes to her, that she loves her with all of her heart and that she was going to do everything she could to survive the war for  _her_. She signs her letter 'Love always and forever, Korra'. Asami isn't sure how to react. All she can do is cry. She gets a text but is too drunk to read it. She hands her phone to Opal, who says it's from Bolin. She immediately flips on the TV, ignoring Asami's questions. Asami takes her phone and squints at the message, seeing that it says 'Don't let Opal see the news'. By the time she looks up, it's too late; Opal found a broadcast, a broadcast from Zaofu. There's a large cloud and bright light in the center, signaling the chemical explosion that the news reporters were talking about. They say it took out half of the city and possibly Kuvira, along with United Forces and Earth Empire soldiers alike. Rescue teams were waiting for the blast to clear as it was too dangerous to investigate at the moment. Asami realizes that Korra could be there, given that they were leading the charge at Zaofu and were arriving there by March. It was the end of March during the report and the costume party. All the pair can do is watch the broadcast with tears streaming down their cheeks, Opal crying for her family and Asami crying for Korra.


	16. Sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry I'm so behind. Hopefully, I can finish the last two chapters for Korrasami month today (I was planning on writing last night but I fell asleep because I am weak). Concerning this chapter, I hope you, um, well... *apologizes*

The loud alarm sent a pounding sound into her chest, yet the noise seemed distant. She ignored it for the first ten seconds. Then, she rolled around and smashed the off button.

She didn’t want to get out of her bed.

She put her back to the clock and stared out the window. The sun was starting to rise, marking the beginning of her day with a pale blue sky.

She frowned. This wasn’t something she wanted.

Or more accurately, this wasn't something she felt she _deserved_.

Asami rolled to the clock again and pulled her covers to her nose. She stared at the red numbers as they changed one by one, from 6:00 AM all the way to seven. Still, she didn’t leave her mattress. She wanted to close her eyes and fall asleep, but sleep wouldn’t come.

Just as it hadn’t come to her all month.

Asami sighed and blinked slowly. Her eyes felt dry even though she hadn’t cried the night before like she had for the first few weeks after Bolin’s costume party.

She’d like to think those nights were worse than these, but at this point, she couldn’t even tell the difference anymore.

She felt outside of herself, like a shell or a husk. She felt distant. She felt quiet. Most of all, she felt empty and unworthy.

She had cheated on Korra. She had kissed Mako in a drunken haze. And drunk or not, she had kissed someone else while Korra was away at war.

And now, Korra might just well be dead.

The image of the chemical explosion in Zaofu filled her sight. She tried to will it away, but couldn’t find the strength. The reports since then had been mixed. They claimed the war was over and that Kuvira was dead. The Earth Empire was retreating along the borders of the United Republic of Nations and the remaining United Forces members were holding strong. This, of course, was good news to almost everyone in Republic City.

But not to Asami.

She didn’t care about the war ending. She didn’t care about Kuvira or the fucking Earth Empire.

All she wanted to know was who was in that blast – if _Korra_ was in that blast.

She had called the sergeant several days after the explosion when the cleanup and search for survivors was under way. He, of course, had nothing to give her, for even he didn’t know who survived and who died.

The days turned to weeks and the phone calls became more infrequent. It had been an entire month since the Battle of Zaofu. Soldiers had returned to the United Republic. The army was preparing to send in the next crew to help with the restoration of the Earth Kingdom into a democracy, as declared by the new heir, Prince Wu. This, unfortunately, meant that Bolin would be heading out once the villages and colonies of the former Earth Empire were stabilized by the remaining United Forces soldiers.

But none of this answered the question that she was pretty sure she knew the answer to: was Korra _alive_?

She hadn’t received any more letters from her since the last one before the explosion in Zaofu.

The roses on her dresser were fading.

Asami rolled back and stared at them. She didn’t know what else she could do. She considered just letting them die. What else could possibly help if nothing she had done was working?  But in these times, she would still water them, just a bit, with the small ray of hope that they might bounce back. That _she_ might bounce back. Even the tallest rose that had been so green and vibrant had been losing its color the past few weeks, though it seemed to have taken well to the last watering she gave it several days ago.

Still, this did not help her insides feel better.

It was ridiculous, part of her would always think, that someone could have such a hold on her. She was Asami fucking Sato. She didn’t _need_ anyone to make her happy, to keep her upright and supported.

So why did she feel so broken?

_Because I’m disappointed in myself,_ would be her retort. She had been unfaithful and succumbed to her weaknesses. She let herself slip. She did something bad.

And she was sure that she would never forgive herself.

Tears welled in her eyes. She let them fall, too tired to do otherwise.

“I’m sorry, Korra,” she whispered for the umpteenth time. “I’m sorry.”

A bark at the door interrupted her thoughts.

Asami sighed. She really did not want to leave her bed, going so far as to miss an entire week of work after the costume party. She had told her father it was just illness and she would work on the project plans at her apartment while she recovered, which she very much did. But it took her that entire week just to get into the mindset of working.

Going _back_ to the factory was even worse. There, she had to interact with people, which was something she very much did not want to do. She just wanted to curl up in silence and try to feel better, to get herself through the surmounting guilt and sadness that she felt. To break herself away from this suffocating feeling and to grow the fuck up.

She was Asami fucking Sato, after all. She was better than this.

So she went to work with a fake smile, her act enough to fool even her father.

But when she came home to a growling dog and a nearly empty pantry, that’s when the darkness would set back in.

She spent most of her time in the shower during those nights, and she wished that’s where she could be right now instead of ignoring the knock on her door in her bed. It was the only bit of warmth she had gotten, despite the onset of spring in Republic City. She hated this feeling, hated being so weak and helpless and fragile.

She wanted to be strong again. She wanted to _move on_.

It was those words that would always break her, though, and shrivel her back up into the broken, dependent person that she kept claiming to be.

_How could I possibly move on from Korra_ , she would always ask herself, and a handful of voices would respond.

_You can’t. You shouldn’t. You love her and she loves you. Wait for her._

_No, don’t wait for her. Look at what it’s doing to you. You’re not you anymore. You need to move on._

_But what about your promise to her? You said you would wait for her the last time you saw her in the airport._

_And she said she would come back. But she’s not here. She’s dead._

_You don’t know that. Did you see a body bag?_

_I don’t have to. I don’t – I can’t feel her anymore._

_Is that her fault or yours?_

“Asami?” A voice called to her from the doorway.

It was followed by a low-pitched growl in the background.

“ _Hush_ , Naga. Leave Asami alone.”  The voice shooed the dog away, but not without a rebuking bark.

_Yes, please leave me alone,_ she whispered in her head, though this was a mixed sentiment. As much as she wanted to be in solitude in her bedroom, she was also desperate for comfort.

“Asami,” the voice asked again

She heard the door click and footsteps approach the bed. Then her eyes caught sight of Opal’s.

“What are you doing here,” she whispered, her voice dry from her sleepless night.

“I was worried. I called you four times since yesterday but you never answered. I was afraid that you –” She cut her sentence short and adjusted her squat into a more comfortable kneel. “How are you?”

“What does it _look_ like?”

Opal winced and looked away.

Asami sighed. “I’m sorry, Opal. I – I didn’t mean to snap at you.” Asami pushed herself up into a sitting position, but kept herself covered in her blanket. She hunched her back and stared at the floor. “Things have been… rough.”

Opal sympathized with her. “I understand.”

“Have you heard anything else out about your family? Your parents and siblings are okay, right?”

Her eyes mixed with sadness and rage. “Yeah, except for one. My brother, Baatar. He… was working with Kuvira.”

Asami raised her brow in shock. “What? How?”

“He – he helped make the bomb that was set off, from what my mom told me after they regained control of Zaofu.”

Asami frowned. She slid out of her bed – keeping her blanket around her – and sat beside Opal. She put a hand over hers. “I’m so sorry, Opal.”

She shook her head. “Don’t be. He – he’s an idiot. How could he? How could he work for _Kuvira_? I mean, I know my mom took her in when she was young and she grew up with us, but that just… he said he loved her. But did he love her enough to destroy part of the world??”

“Apparently,” Asami said dryly. She released Opal’s hand and pulled her knees up to her chin. “And Korra, too.”

Opal frowned. “You don’t know that, Asami.”

She glanced at Opal. “Have they found any more bodies?”

“A few. But they _weren’t_ Korra.”

Asami looked away.

It was Opal’s turn to grab Asami’s hand. “I know things are hard right now, but Korra will be okay. More importantly, _you_ will be okay. You’re strong, Asami.”

“If I’m so strong, why do you have to come check on me every few days to make sure I’m alive?”

A potent silence fell between them.

Asami could hear Opal swallow the knot in her throat away.

“Asami, I care about you. That’s why I check on you. And – and it helps.”

Their eyes met.

“Helps who?”

“Both of us, I’d like to think.” Opal averted her gaze to the floor. “I suppose I can’t say if it helps you or not, but it helps me, because I know that you care about me, too. Or else you wouldn’t be asking about my family or even letting me in.”

Asami remained quiet.

“Bolin has been worried about you, too. He really wants to see you and know how you’re doing. You haven’t spoken to him since his party.” She looked up at Asami.

Asami remained quiet.

“I’ve been telling him that you’re okay, but he doesn’t buy it. Frankly, neither do I.” She lifted Asami’s chin and analyzed her features.

Asami remained quiet. She kept her eyes away from Opal’s.

“When was the last time you ate?”

Asami remained quiet.

Opal frowned and released her. “I’ll go make you some tea.” She pushed herself to her feet and turned to leave, but not before she caught sight of the roses on Asami’s dresser. A leaf fell off of one of the dying plants. She glanced at Asami with sadness in her eyes and rushed to prepare tea.

Asami stared at the ground while Opal was away. The cold was taking her over. She tried to fight it. Her dark thoughts kicked in again. Korra was most likely dead. And in the meantime, she had kissed Mako. She had kissed someone else while Korra was marching to Zaofu to end the war and come back to _her_.

Part of her wanted Korra to be dead; she couldn’t imagine trying to tell Korra about what she had done.

Another tear rolled down her cheek. At the same time, she didn’t want to think about Korra being dead, either.

Gone. Forever.

_Get yourself together, Asami. It’s just Korra. You haven’t even known her that long. Just move the fuck on before you destroy yourself._

“Hey,” Opal waved her hand in front of Asami’s sight to get her attention.

Asami remained quiet.

“Here,” she handed her a steaming mug of tea. Once it was in Asami’s hands, she sat beside her with a cup of her own.

This had become more routine than Asami wanted to admit. They had both seen the blast in Zaofu at the same time and both felt the personal impact of it. That and with the army preparing to send Bolin out within the next year, they had developed a bond of support. They would go back and forth, one person leaning onto the shoulder of the other until they were just barely strong enough for the reverse. And although Asami had never gone to Opal’s to check on her, Opal understood, so she would show up at Asami’s with her spare key instead.

It was more frequent in the beginning, when Asami was missing work and spending most of her time crying. Opal would check on her in the morning and sometimes skip her classes to cry _with_ her as the fate of her family was still hanging in the balance. Opal had grown stronger when she learned her mother was alive, along with most of the rest of her family, and Asami would occasionally draw from this strength.

But they both had their bad dreams, and would both sometimes talk about them.

Asami tended to have the same recurring dream. The images of her kissing Mako would haunt her, and the more she dreamed about it, the more she should have realized in her drunken, delusional state that she was not kissing Korra at all. They were completely different kisses and feelings. His lips were not soft like Korra’s. The stubble on his face had scratched her without her realizing it. His hands were firmer against her body instead of the delicate, empowering touch of Korra’s fingers. Even the weight on her should have been a giveaway. But she had been too drunk to realize these vital differences, and it was only in her haunting, sober dreams did she feel the full impact of what she had done.

From there, the sight would pan to Korra being pulled out of rubble or muck, her body stiff and frozen, her eyes still open and blood dried to her skull. She saw her in a body bag, a folded version of the United Forces flag over her corpse.

Asami shook her head to force the image away. She didn’t want to think about Korra being dead, though part of her _told_ her to think about it.

So she could recover. So she could move on with her life.

“You look tired, Asami. Did you sleep at all last night?”

She stared at her tea and shook her head.

“Did you dream about him again?”

She nodded.

“You haven’t spoken to him, have you?”

“No.” She spoke with a dark dryness in her voice. “Not since the party. And never again.”

This was true. Asami had blocked his number, deleted all of his texts and messages, and even changed _her_ number after the incident. The only people she had given her new number to were her father and Opal. And if she was able to give it to Korra, she would have. She had tried calling Korra’s phone and texting her in the past, just to leave her something to come back to, but the line had been long disconnected after Korra was sent to war. She thought about writing Korra a letter with the new number in it, and with everything that had happened.

But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Korra could be dead for all she knew, and there was no way in hell that Mako was going to fill that spot in her heart.

Not if she had anything to say about it.

“Him and Bolin aren’t on speaking terms right now, either. Bolin is still pissed at him.” Opal glanced at her tea in response to Asami’s silence. “I’m sorry about what happened. We were supposed to be keeping an eye on you and we didn’t.”

“I’m not a child. I can handle myself.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Asami winced, though she kept a firm expression on her face.

“Sorry. That was a little… harsh. We just – we told Mako to back off of you, and he got too buzzed to listen. I shouldn’t have left you two alone.”

“Opal, _stop_.”  She looked into her eyes. “ _Please_.”

She averted her gaze.

“It’s just,” Asami brought her focus back to the mug in her hands, “it’s not helping. _You_ weren’t the one who kissed Mako because you thought he was Korra. _You_ weren’t the one who fucked up. _I_ was. And I spend enough time thinking about it and hating myself over it without you trying to take the blame for my own fucked up actions.”

Opal peered at Asami, worry in her eyes. She brought her attention back to her mug. “You’re not the only one to blame, you know. Mako shouldn’t have taken advantage of you.”

Asami grew quiet once more. She closed her eyes and took a breath to force her memories away.

A silence fell between them that lasted minutes.

Opal took a sip of her tea.

“Opal?”

She raised a brow and lowered her cup.

Their eyes met.

“Do – do you think Korra will ever forgive me?”

“Will _you_ ever forgive _yourself_?”

Asami frowned and stared at her mug again.

Opal sighed and pushed herself to her feet. “Are you going to work today?”

Asami shook her head. “I’m taking a day off today to work on my thesis.”

Opal nodded. “Alright. I’ll come by and check on you later, okay?”

“Sure.”

Opal stared at Asami with sad eyes, wishing there was more she could do for her friend. She hesitated in the doorway before slipping out into the kitchen to return her mug. She rinsed it out and peeked in Asami’s cabinets. They were nearly void of food.

_I’ll stop by the market and get her something to eat,_ Opal thought to herself, knowing full well that if she didn’t, Asami wouldn’t either, and she’d have nothing to eat for the day. _She needs to get her strength._

Opal looked over her shoulder from the front door at the hallway leading to Asami’s bedroom.

With a pain in her heart, she left.

(-)

Asami was nose deep in a book when the rain started. It pounded against her windows, providing her with a symphony of noise while she worked. She had started her research after her tea grew cold. She took a shower beforehand to warm herself up, along with _wake_ herself up. She put some food in Naga’s bowl, though Naga simply ignored her as she had since the costume party. Asami was surprised the dog hadn’t bitten her by now, to be honest; she could still remember Opal stopping her from attacking when she came home drunk that night.

Asami underlined something in her book and typed it into her laptop. Who would have thought it would be so hard to find out information about microorganisms for the reactor she was using in her experimentation. It hadn’t been quite her ideal project, as she was hoping to get her degree in something more mechanical for the engineering field, but it was interesting, relevant, and therefore, it would do.

She was scratching her head with a pen when Naga started barking to a knock on her door. She heard her scamper across the hardwood to the front entrance and yelp excitedly.

_Opal must be here_ , Asami noted as she reached for her mug of reheated tea. _She always knocks before she comes in._

After several minutes of loud howling and scratching at the door, Asami grew concerned.

_Why doesn’t she just use the spare key to get in?_

She sighed.

_Fine. I’ll get up and get the door._

Asami set her mug down and pushed herself to her feet. She stretched her back and tied her hair behind her head. She approached the entrance with a yawn and closed eyes, ignoring the jumping Naga at her feet.

When she pulled the door open and her lids separated, her heart plummeted into the ground.

Her hands flew up to her mouth. Her jaw was dropped. She couldn’t believe her now-watery sight.

“K – Korra?”

Korra stood before her, right arm in a sling, a small crutch under her left. Her hair was loose. It cascaded down her grey uniform. There was a bag on her back, the same one that she had taken with her when she went away to war.

There was a gentle smile on her face and a bouquet of roses in her hand.

Tears streamed down her cheeks. Asami was in complete shock. She couldn’t even find her vocal chords to make words. All she could do was gasp and cry and wonder if this was all a sick dream that she would wake up from, hunched over onto her work desk from an exhausted snooze.

But this wasn’t a dream. It couldn’t be. Not with how irritated Naga was behind her, as Asami blocked the small doorway in its entirety. Not with how real the rain felt as it dripped off the roof onto the ground.

Not with Korra in front of her, _alive_ in front of her.

Korra moved the flowers out of the way before Asami could crush them.

Asami collapsed into her and wrapped her arms around Korra’s torso.

Korra winced but took the pain. It didn’t matter right now.

She was happy.

She was _home_.

She wrapped her good arm around Asami and rubbed her back with the flowers in hand. Tears fell down her rain-laced cheeks.

They remained like this for several minutes with Naga angrily pawing at Asami’s back.

Asami ignored it. She felt warmth inside of her again.

Warmth and horrible guilt.

“I missed you so much, Asami,” Korra whispered, not wanting to let go of her girlfriend despite the rain that seeped down her neck. “I missed you so much.”

Asami muttered back to her. “I missed you, too.” She departed and framed Korra’s jaw with her hands. “You’re getting wet. Come inside.”

Korra simply smiled and followed her.

The moment Naga had an opening, she went for it and nearly tackled Korra to the ground.

Asami helped keep her steady, still in a bit of shock herself.

“Ahhh – easy, Naga. Easy, girl.” Korra struggled to her knees and wrapped her arm around her dog. “I missed you, too, girl.”

Naga barked and licked her cheek.

Asami was sure her tail was going to fall off with how much it was wagging. All she could do was grin; it had been too long since she had seen Naga this happy.

Almost two years, to be precise.

Asami meandered to the door and shut it while Korra and Naga continued to hug. She knelt down next to Korra and put a hand on her shoulder.

She was met with a deep growl and a loud bark.

“Hey, hey, easy, Naga. Be nice.” Korra reprimanded. “Be nice to Asami. I know you missed me, but she missed me, too. You both can share.”

Naga was not satisfied with this answer. She snapped at Asami.

“ _Hey!_ ” Korra retorted. “ _No,_ Naga. _No_.”

She whimpered and glared at Asami.

Asami’s expression weakened. She knew why Naga was acting so defensive, and it wasn’t because she had to ‘share’.

Asami had betrayed Korra, and Naga knew all about it.

“You be nice to Asami.” She gritted her teeth with her stern words and struggled back to her feet. “She took care of you while I was gone, so you be nice to her.”

Naga huffed and pouted to her bed.

Korra frowned. “I haven’t seen her like this in a long time.” She turned to Asami. “I think she’s just excited to see me.” She smiled and offered Asami the Kormarters. “I got these for you.”

“They’re beautiful, Korra.” She took them in her hands and inhaled their scent. It had been ages since she went to the Gardens. “How did you get these?”

She had a sheepish look on her face. “The same greenhouse I got your flowers from before down near Kyoshi. The army gave me a small stipend to get home once I woke up, so I used some of it to get you those.”

Asami scurried to the cabinet nearby to grab a vase. She plopped the roses in but froze to Korra’s reply. “Wait, what do you mean ‘woke up’?” She placed the Kormarters on the coffee table before approaching Korra.

Korra looked away. “I, uh, just woke up a few days ago.”

Asami’s hands found Korra’s shoulders. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve –” She tried to glance into Asami’s eyes but couldn’t. “I’ve been in a coma the past few weeks from the explosion.”

Asami gasped. Her hands flew up to her chest in disbelief. “So – so you _were_ in the blast I saw on TV?”

Korra raised her brow and met Asami’s peridots. “You saw that?”

She nodded. “It was all over the news and – Korra, you’re shaking.” Asami placed her palms on her shoulders and ushered her to the couch. “Come on, sit down. You’re hurt. And let me take your bag.”

Korra lowered herself onto the couch slowly with several winces as she did so. She slid her bag off with her free hand and allowed Asami to set it on the floor. “I’m sorry for just popping up. I told Tuzi to call you if anything happened to me during the battle, but he said he kept getting a disconnected line whenever he called.”

“Korra, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. You’re – you’re here. You’re actually here. It’s not a dream. You’re not dead.” She wrapped her arms around Korra’s torso again and cried. “You’re not dead.”

Korra held her with her free arm and closed her eyes. “I’m not dead. I’m here,” she whispered. “I’m here.”

“What happened,” Asami asked when they departed. She held Korra’s shoulders and looked into her eyes.

Korra wiped her tears away with her left thumb. “I was in the battle, Asami. I was there when the bomb went off.” She averted her eyes to the floor but kept her hand on Asami’s cheek. “The blast sent me right through the building, through at least two walls. Knocked me out for weeks. When I woke up, the medics weren’t even sure how I was alive. They didn’t find me right away. They said I lost a lot of blood, and a few of my ribs were broken. My hip was injured, and so was my shoulder. They said the rest was good for me because they were able to set everything, but they also said my body got weak, hence why I’ve got _these_ stupid things,” she lifted her arms to showcase her crutch and sling. “They said I should wear them for a while, but they never said for how long. I’m supposed to see a physical therapist or something.” She rubbed her right shoulder after a painful twinge hit it from the movement prior. “They told me I should stay with them in the bay to heal, but once I woke up, I told them I wanted to go home, to see you.” She met her peridots with a smile on her face. Korra brushed Asami’s cheek with her thumb. “I took the first flight I could once they cleared me for travel. And now I’m here. With you.”

Korra inched closer as she slid her hand into Asami’s hair. She closed her eyes and whispered. “I’m finally home.”

Before their lips could touch, Asami pulled away. She put her back to Korra and held her elbows.

She frowned. “Asami, what’s wrong?”

“I – I can’t – I have to tell you something, Korra.” She lowered her head, hating herself for what she was about to do.

But the guilt was melting her inside. Korra had struggled and fought, had come out of a coma and come all the way back to her, just as she had promised.

Asami had _not_ kept her promise, though, and she couldn’t bear not telling Korra the truth; after almost two years at war, she deserved that much.

Korra’s heart raced in her chest. “What do you have to tell me?”

Asami faced her but avoided her oceans. “You know that I love you, right? I love you with all of my heart?”

“Of course I do. And I love you, too.” She inched closer and wrapped the fingers of her right hand around Asami’s instead of her left.

Asami glanced down at the skin on Korra’s hand, noting the new scars on her knuckles. She stared at their fingers as she replied. “I made a mistake. I made a terrible, horrible mistake.”

Korra’s stomach turned. Her heart plummeted. Some of the color left her face. “Wha – what do you mean?”

Asami could not hold back her tears. They streamed down her cheeks in what felt like rivers.

“Asami?” Korra reached for her but Asami rejected it.

“I don’t deserve it, Korra. I don’t deserve you.”

“Asami, don’t say that –”

“It’s true. It’s fucking true.” She pulled her hands away and covered her face.

She reached out for her. “Asami –”

“Korra, I cheated on you.”

Her hand froze in midair. Shock filled her entire body. It felt like a knife had just dove into her heart. “Wh – wh – what do you mean?”

“I’m an idiot, Korra. I’m a fucking idiot. I was missing you so much and I felt so empty and I went to a party that Bolin was throwing and I got drunk even though I never meant to and I – I – I made out with someone.”

Korra couldn’t move. Her insides twisted.

She had survived her classes and her training.

She had survived assaulting that douchebag that tried to rape Asami.

She had survived getting sent to war.

She had survived dealing with assholes like Gankona.

She had survived Kitsune’s treachery.

She had survived a fucking chemical explosion.

And none of these had broken her the way this had.

This. _This_. This fucking shattered every piece of her. Every last stitched together, glued and taped up piece of her.

Asami had cheated on her.

The woman she was madly in love with.

The woman she constantly thought about.

The woman that got her through the war.

While she was risking her life and getting shot and nearly killed, Asami was here, kissing someone else. Giving someone else her love.

_Korra’s_ love.

The heartbreak was evident on her contorted face, in her shaking hands, in the tears that poured from her eyes, in her inability to find words.

“Korra, I’m so _so_ sorry. I never meant to kiss someone else. I was so drunk and lonely and I – I thought it was you. I’m so sorry, Korra.” Asami reached out for her.

Korra jerked away and off the couch, knocking over the vase in the process.

It shattered into pieces on the floor and spilled the roses onto the hardwood.

“Y – Y – You – you _cheated_ on me?” Korra was shaking as she staggered to her feet. Her crutch was too far away to support her. She backed up towards the front door in a limp. “You – you kissed someone _else_?”

“It was an accident, Korra. I’m so sorry. I was drunk and –”

“You kissed someone else.” It was more of a statement this time around. She was gathering control of her vocal chords.

She was also starting to see red.

“Korra, I –”

“You kissed someone else. You _kissed_ someone else. While I was gone, at war, against my will, you fucking _kissed someone else?_ ”

Asami glanced up at Korra with watery eyes, fear in her heart. “Korra –”

“ _Who?_ Who fucking was it?!”

“It – it was Mako. Bolin’s brother.”

“Mako?? Fucking _Mako_? You kissed motherfucking _Mako_?” Korra ran both of her hands through her hair, wincing as she did so from the pain in her right shoulder. “Fucking _Mako_!” She lowered her arms from the pain. Everything hurt inside. “I – I have been putting my fucking ass on the line for you! For fucking _everyone!_ ” Her hands balled into fists. “I have been getting shot at and – and almost _killed_   and I got the shit beaten out of me and I’ve – I’ve seen people _die, right in front of my eyes_, and I was almost _blown up to death_ and you’re here, k – kissing someone _else_? Kissing fucking _Mako_!?”

Korra couldn’t stop shaking. She took another step back as her heart continued to shatter.

“Korra –”

“ _No_ , no, you don’t – you – I – I can’t _believe_ you.” Her tears worsened. “You – you fucking kissed Mako. You made _out_ with him.” She almost collapsed from her own weight and sadness.

Asami rushed to her side to help her stand up.

“Don’t fucking _touch_ me,” Korra pulled herself away, but not without a wince from doing so. She held her damaged ribs and limped closer to the door. “You – you fucking _cheated_ on me. After everything I’ve been through? After everything _we’ve_ been through? How – how could you _do_ this?”

“I’m so sorry, Korra. It was an accident, a mistake.” She sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”

There was a loud ringing in Korra’s ears. Her whole world felt like it was toppling over. “You – you were my strength, Asami. My hope. My _life._ You were my fucking _everything_!” She hollered at the top of her lungs, forcing Asami to flinch. “You – you were – my – love –” She couldn’t stand to be there anymore. She felt like she was going to be sick. Her heart was no longer in her body. Her stomach was tumultuous. The tears wouldn’t stop.

Korra rushed for the door and ripped it open. She tried to run down the stairs but her body couldn’t take it. She tumbled down and landed right on her damaged hip. Her sling ripped apart and fell to the wet cement. Korra let out a scream of pain.

Asami rushed after her but stopped at her doorstep when Naga sprinted by her.

“Korra –”

“Don’t _touch_ me! Don’t you fucking _touch_ me!” She growled, much like her dog beside her.

Before she knew it, she was on her feet and running far, far away from the place she had been looking forward to returning to the past almost two years, from the person who she was madly in love with, who she missed so much, who had kept her together throughout her darkest times in the war.

The person who had cheated on her, who had smashed her heart to pieces.

“Korra!” Asami called to her and ran down to the sidewalk.

Korra continued to sprint away, fast even with her damaged body.

Naga followed Korra, barking as she did so.

Asami watched on – unable to take another step – until she couldn’t see Korra in the dark rain anymore. Her knees weakened. She collapsed and sobbed, her heart shattering into a thousand pieces – even moreso than it was before. She hunched into a heap as she wept.

“I’m so sorry, Korra. I’m so sorry.”

(-)

 

 

 

 

 

 


	17. Storms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I apologize for being non-existent in this story for the past weeks. Life has been incredibly busy and I haven't had time to write new material (I've only had time to update History: Part II, my other fic, since it's already written). Anyway, here is the latest update for Korrasami Month. I still have one prompt to go that I'll hopefully get done in the next few days, and then this fic will be on hold for a while until the next Korrasami week or month. 
> 
> I would like to thank all of you for taking the time to read my story. I'm glad I ended up writing this. It has been a blast. Hearts to all of you, because you are my inspiration to continue writing. 
> 
> Without further ado...

Korra sat inside of the public restroom with her head in her hands. She wasn’t even sure where she was or how she got there or most of what had happened, for that matter. All she remembered was the rain. The rain and running. Naga was somewhere outside, guarding the door. Lucky for her, it was much too late in the evening for the bathroom to be busy.

She hadn’t stopped crying since she fled, though her tears were masked by the rain. Thunder made the ground shake, signaling the storms to come.

Korra’s fingers were in her hair, cradling her skull. Her elbows rested on her knees. Everything flashed in front of her when she closed her eyes.

The last kiss she shared with Asami.

The death and destruction of the war.

The drop of her heart from the news upon her return.

She whimpered as she sat on the toilet, clothed and dripping from the rain.

It was then that the shaking became too much. She couldn’t sit still anymore; she had to move. She had to _keep_ moving.

Korra shoved the door to the stall open, grateful that the others were empty. She walked across the room, having been in the stall at the very end, and caught herself in the mirror.

She froze in her spot and peered at her reflection.

Korra inched closer to the mirror, entranced by the look in her eyes. Her face was tired, the circles lining the underside of her sockets, making them dark. She looked thinner than before, after having been on an IV for a month in a coma. She still had a bit of tone to her muscles, but nothing near what she had in Zaofu.

Not that she could even see them all that well with this damn United Forces uniform on.

She felt just as sick in it as she did after the party her and Asami went to that resulted in her nearly killing a man for the first time.

Korra glanced at herself, wondering if there would ever be a last time.

She flinched at the thought and lowered her eyes to the ground. She could almost feel the cold of the floor seep up to her through her booted feet.

Even the sight of her army footwear made her angry. She brought her focus back to her reflection. Her loose hair cascaded over her back and down her front, as wet and dripping as her uniform was. She stared at the ribbons she earned while in ROTC, all of which were still pinned to her coat.

Korra leaned against the counter, her arms shaking on the granite. Her shoulder ached from the pressure.

She didn’t care.

She just kept staring at those ribbons, anger leaving red marks in the corners of her eyes.

_You ruined everything. You fucking ruined everything._

Korra growled and latched onto one of the pins. She ripped it off and threw it to the ground.

Nothing was going to stop her now.

Every cord, every ribbon, every sort of honor and distinction she had earned in that pee-wee bullshit training during her schooling fell to the floor in her rage.

Some smashed against the wall.

Others landed right in the trash.

Korra paced, her palms covering her face in agony and frustration. Her limp was heavy and her hip was in great pain.

As was her heart.

“You fucking ruined everything,” she whispered with gritted teeth.

She walked from the start of the stalls to the opposite wall near the door.

“You fucking ruined _everything_!” She hollered, stopping in front of a metal paper towel holder.

Soon, her right fist smashed into the alloy.

Three times.

And she just kept going.

She latched onto it with her left. Korra punched it until there was a bloody dent in its front and she could no longer do anymore damage to it.

She tried to rip it off the wall in her ire but only fell to the ground in a painful crash.

Korra groaned and curled into a ball on the bathroom floor. She held her bloody, possibly broken knuckles to her chest, not caring if her blood stained her uniform.

She had already shed enough blood for those fuckers.

Her gasping morphed into deep sobs. She tucked her knees to her chest and cried.

“I fucking ruined everything,” she whimpered to herself.

(-)

Korra wandered the streets in the rain. It was dark and empty, just as she felt.

Naga walked beside her, her head and ears hung low to match the pain in Korra’s heart.

She had stopped crying about an hour ago and pulled herself together into a false display of stability when her growling dog alerted her of someone approaching the bathroom. Once she was out of sight, bloodied hand hidden in her coat pocket, she meandered around Republic City. The lights reflected in the puddles in the roads, their orange rays tracing the ripples of the rain drops.

Korra caught herself staring at them in a trance. A roll of thunder would always shake her out of it, and she would continue on in emptiness.

She found a small alleyway and collapsed in it, unable to carry on with the pain in her hip. She shouldn’t be walking on it at all, let alone running and falling on it. The injuries to her ribs and shoulder weren’t getting any better any time soon, either.

Naga whimpered beside her and rubbed Korra’s face with her own.

Korra responded by pushing herself to her hands and knees, only to collapse again.

She was too weak. She needed to recover. She was hungry and cold and wet and broken.

This brought tears to her eyes.

Naga nudged her again and licked her cheek.

“I’m trying, Naga,” she whispered.

Korra glanced up into the alleyway from the ground. She army crawled to the back corner and propped herself up against the brick of the buildings – though not without several attempts.

Once Korra was stable, Naga joined her side. She plopped her head into Korra’s lap and wrapped her body around as much of her as she could.

Korra smiled in quiet appreciation and put a dirty hand on her scruff.

 _Man’s best friend,_ she muttered in her head.

_I guess it’s a woman’s best friend, too._

She sighed at the ache in her heart. All she could picture was Asami and Mako kissing, of them making out, of Mako’s hands trailing up and down Asami’s body, of the moans that might have ensued.

 _Mako_ , she thought, _fucking Mako, of all people._

Korra huffed in frustration and curled into herself. She started shivering from the rain, but she had no means of escaping the storms. Even if she had some shelter nearby, she didn’t have the strength to get there. She was just too hurt.

Her fire faded away into a dark emptiness.

She stared at the water bouncing off the street. The rain intensified. It washed away some of the stagnant puddles with its runoff streams.

Korra pulled Naga closer, knowing full well that this was going to be a long, sleepless night.

(-)

There was a soft knock on the door.

“Coming, coming,” Bolin called in response.

The pounding didn’t cease.

“O _kay_ , o _kay_ , I hear you, I’m right –” He pulled the door open and lost all of his ability to speak from the shock. “Fucking hell. _Korra_?”

She stood before him, shaking in a torn up uniform that was covered in dirt. Her eyes were dry and red. Her face was tired. “Hey Bo,” she smiled weakly, “can I come in?” She ended her question with a violent cough. She had been out in the storm for too long, and even her arctic-hardened body couldn’t fight off the cold _and_ the rain.

“Of course, get in here.” He pulled her into his apartment and guided her to the couch.

Naga followed after shaking her fur at the doorway. She hopped up on the couch next to Korra, though her nose wrinkled to the scent in the plastic-leather sofa material.

“Here, let me get you a blanket and some tea.” He rushed to the entrance and shut the door. He flicked the deadbolt to lock it and scurried into the kitchen to put tea on the stove.

Korra curled into herself, her shaking now violent tremors. Her teeth were clattering.

Thunder roared outside. It didn’t look like it was going to stop anytime soon, its darkness making the day seem almost like night.

“Here, here’s a blanket. Get yourself warmed up. I’ll crank the heat, too.” He wrapped the thick fleece around Korra and twisted the knob on the thermostat.

Korra pulled the blanket around her and stared at the floor.

He joined her side on the couch and put a hand on her shoulder. “What the hell happened? How did you get back? I – I thought you might have been.... _When_ did you get back?”

Korra just gazed at the ground, lost in a shivering trance once more.

Memories flashed in front of her eyes and she snapped out of it with a visible shake of her head.

“Korra?” Bolin squeezed her shoulder.

“I’ve been – wandering around – the City – since yesterday,” she choked, coughing between some of her words and chattering after others.

“Why were you out in these storms? You could have come here sooner! I would have taken care of you.”

“I – I was too – tired. Too – weak.” She hacked and held her ribs from the pain. “I got – hurt – in that – explosion.”

“Shit, you were actually _there_? Like, when it went off?”

She nodded. “I was – in the room with – Kuvira,” she whispered, the words starting to flow a bit better now that she was warming up.

“Fuck. What happened? Does Asami know you’re here? Does she know that you’re alive?”

Just as she opened her mouth to speak, a twisting key in the lock caught her attention. She tensed, unsure of who was entering.

Bolin turned to the door as Opal stepped inside.

“Sorry I’m late, Bolin, I went to check on Asami and –” She froze in her spot once her eyes fell upon Korra.

Her face morphed into a scowl.

“What are _you_ doing here, Korra,” she attacked with darkness in her voice.

“Woah, woah, easy there, Opal. Korra’s been out in the storm since yesterday.”

“That’s her _own_ damn fault.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Her. Korra. It’s _her_ fault that she was in the storm.”

Bolin furrowed his brow. “How is it _her_ fault?”

“Because she ran away from Asami,” Opal clenched her fists, frustrated with the shaking soldier on the couch.

Bolin turned to Korra in confusion. “Why would you run away, Korra? Aren’t you happy to see Asami again?”

Korra lowered her eyes to the floor and took a breath, preparing to reply, when Opal did it for her.

“Because Asami told her about the party.”

“Ohhhhh.” Bolin looked away for a moment and then back at Korra. “She told you about that, huh?”

Korra nodded.

“Of course Asami did,” Opal interjected. “That’s just the type of person she is. This whole thing has been eating away at her for _weeks_. She hasn’t slept. She hasn’t eaten. She didn’t even go to work the first week after it happened. She’s been tearing herself apart over this, absolutely broken over the mistake she made.”

“Well, she _should_ be upset over it,” Bolin scrunched his brow and faced Opal, folding his arms over his chest as he did so. “Just a little bit.”

“ _Just a little bit? _What, you think Asami deserves all of the sadness she felt over this?”

“Not _all_ of it. But she _did_ cheat on Korra with Mako.” Bolin retorted. “She made out with him on this very couch!” He threw his hands up in the air and pointed to the seat beside him. “She should feel at least a little bad for what she did.”

“And you think she deserved to get yelled at and _abandoned_ over it, like how Korra screamed at her and ran away?!”

“I think Korra has every right to be upset over this,” Bolin hollered in response to Opal’s volume. “Korra was away at war, _forcibly_ , and she goes through all this shit. She was there when the bomb went off, Opal. She was _right_ _there_ with Kuvira, and we all know how _that_ ended for the ‘Great Uniter’,” he mocked her title, his frustration growing. “I would be pissed too if I came back after being at war for two years and found out that my girlfriend had made out with someone else.”

“Oh, so if I get drunk and _accidentally_ kiss someone because I’ve been missing you and slipping into depression and tearing my _heart out_ over whether or not you were alive after not hearing from you for _over a year_ , and you came back and I told you honestly about it, you would storm off too?”

“I might. I don’t know... But I _do_ know that I wouldn’t be happy about it.” He rose to his feet to match Opal’s glare. “Korra has been risking her life to stop Kuvira, and to come back and learn that Asami made out with Mako? Korra _loves_ Asami. You didn't see her when she was gushing over Asami almost twenty-four seven every day. Nearly talked my ear off about her. She would do _anything_ for Asami.”

“Oh, and I guess Asami _doesn't_ love Korra, so much so that she was _broken_ while Korra was gone?”

“I'm not saying Asami doesn't love Korra. I'm saying that Korra didn't deserve what happened to her.”

“But it didn't _happen_ to Korra. It happened to _Asami._ ”

“That doesn't mean Korra isn't affected in all of this! If I died in combat, wouldn't _you_ be affected by it?!”

“Of course I would. And that's exactly how Asami felt this entire time.”

“And that's why Mako made a move on her.”

Opal’s face was in shock. “You can't _possibly_ be blaming Asami for this and defending Mako.”

“No, I'm not defending Mako at all. He was a fucking asshole who didn't listen when I told him to back off. If anything, I'm saying Korra isn't wrong in feeling upset about this. I _would_ be pissed over what Mako did, and I still _am_ pissed, hence why I haven’t talked to Mako since this all happened.”

“Well neither has _she_. She cut off contact the night it happened, Bolin.” She took a step forward and pointed a finger at him. “And you and I _both_ know Asami did _not_ go to that party with the intent of getting drunk or making out with _anyone_ for that matter.”

“But she still did it! Just because she didn’t _mean_ to, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen and it doesn't mean there weren't consequences. I didn’t _mean_ to fall off that stool when I was putting the dishes away, but it still happened.”

“And if you _hadn’t_ fallen off that stool, _none_ of this would have happened.”

“Oh, so it’s _my fault_ that Asami and Mako made out with each other and were sucking face and grabbing each other on the couch when I _wasn't even in the room_?”

“You were supposed to be keeping an eye on them!”

“So were _you_ , but I don’t hear _you_ blaming yourself over this.”

“Oh, like I _haven’t_ been? I feel just as bad about this happening as _you_ do. But you haven’t even _seen_ Asami to know how much she’s been hurting. She has nightmares about it, about what happened and about Korra being dead. Then Korra comes back and completely blasts her for her _one_ mistake.”

“Well do you blame her? Korra’s been to hell’s hell and back again. You _wouldn’t_ be upset over something like this?”

“I wouldn’t scream at her and storm out, that’s for sure!”

“Oh, like how you are _right now_?”

Opal glared at him. “What is _that_ supposed to mean?”

“You’re not even trying to see this from Korra’s side!”

“Well you’re not trying to see it from Asami’s. And _neither_ is Korra. All she did was think about herself!”

“She was at _war_. She almost _died_. Tell her Kor –”

It was then that they realized they were just inches away from each other’s faces, red and huffed from the screaming.

It was also then, as they both turned to face the couch, that they realized Korra was gone.

“Korra?” Bolin asked the empty space with concern.

As angry as Opal was, she couldn’t help but feel the same drop in her chest.

(-)

Asami stared at the phone in her shaking hands with dry eyes, hoping for a notification to pop up. But not from her email or her social media apps.

Rather, from _Korra_.

She knew this was an impossibility. Korra didn’t even have a phone, from what she could tell. And if she did, Korra certainly didn’t have her new number. The only people who knew it were her father and Opal.

And Asami knew sure as hell that she wasn’t going to text the former.

She swiped the screen and clicked on the messaging icon as fast as she could, hoping to avoid the pain in her heart upon the sight of her background picture with Korra.

Thunder pounded outside. It had been raining for over a day now.

And it had been over a day since she heard anything from Korra after she ran away with Naga.

She found Opal’s number and sent her a message.

Hey Opal. Have you heard from Korra at all? Or seen her? I’m really worried about her.

There was a long pause that felt like hours.

Her heart jumped when she saw the typing icon.

Actually, I did. She was just here not too long ago.

Asami’s face was in shock.

                What? She was there? When?

A while ago. She came to see Bolin.

                Is she okay?

I don’t really know. I didn’t get a good glimpse of her before she left.

                When did she leave?

I’m not entirely sure. I was distracted.

Asami raised her brow.

                Distracted? By what?

Bolin. We were fighting.

Asami frowned.

                I hope not over me.

There was no reply.

                How long ago was your fight? Maybe I can still find her if she’s nearby.

About an hour or two ago.

Why do you even want to find her? She acted like a complete asshole to you.

                Because I'm worried about her. I've never seen her so upset

                I don’t think upset is the right word

                What if she hurts herself because of me? I've already hurt her so much. I don't think I could live with myself if something happened and she

She couldn't even finish the thought, let alone the text. She didn't want to. Nor did she realize she pressed send. She cringed and continued.

                She’s not stable. I want to look for her, Opal. I want to make sure she's okay and make things right if I can.

I don’t understand why. You’ve been waiting for her for so long. She had no idea what you’ve been through and then she blows up on you when you were being honest and vulnerable and hurting and just trying to make yourself less broken.

Asami paused and took a breath.

                That doesn’t mean I didn’t break her in the process.

She stared at the screen until the typing icon popped up.

That doesn’t make what she did to you okay.

                I know, Opal. I know.

                But that doesn’t make what I did okay either. I just want to make things right. I just want her to forgive me.

But why, Asami? Why bother?

                Because I love her.

Tears streamed down her cheeks.

I still love her, even after how much we hurt each other. She’s in a bad place right now.

And honestly, so am I.

Her hands shook.

I need her just as much as she needs me right now.

And I want to get better. I want to forgive myself for what I did.

I want to help Korra.

I want to help myself and put this all behind us.

I still love her, Opal

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to not love her

And I’m so worried about her.

Can you just tell me if you know where she was heading?

There was a very long pause that lasted minutes.

Eventually, the typing icon popped up.

No. If she said anything, I didn't hear it. I was too busy arguing with Bolin.

I didn't even notice her leave, to be honest.

Neither did Bolin.

But it wasn't too long ago that we noticed she was gone, so she might still be nearby.

Asami nodded at her phone, determination in her eyes. She rose from her spot on her mattress, still in her clothes from the day before, and grabbed her keys with gusto. She wiped her tears away and texted Opal while she moved through her barren apartment.

                I’m heading over to find her.

She paused at the doorway and added another text.

                Please don’t argue over me. Or Korra. Go blow off some steam and talk things over with Bolin, alright?

There was no reply.

Asami sighed and put her phone in her back pocket. She crawled into her Satomobile and brought the engine to life.

Before she knew it, she was speeding off to Bolin’s apartment to try and find Korra.

(-)

Asami dashed through the wet streets of Republic City like the true expert driver that she was. She managed to make every light with her maneuvering. She was just a few blocks away from Bolin’s apartment when she saw the flashing lights behind her.

It was the last thing she wanted to see.

Her heart skipped a beat in its fast pace. She cursed under her breath and pulled over. Asami scowled out of her windshield as the wipers pushed the pouring rain away. Her eyes wandered up to her rearview mirror. She watched with intent as the officer got out of their car.

Her stomach wrenched.

_No, not him, anyone but –_

A tap on her window interrupted her thoughts. She sighed and rolled it down, realizing there was nothing she could do but obey.

“What do you want, Mako?”

He glared at her. “Is that how you address someone in uniform?”

She rolled her eyes. _Uniform_ , she mocked. _That’s not a fucking uniform_.

Her thoughts wandered to what she considered a _real_ uniform in her rage.

And, of course, Korra came into her sight.

“What do you want?” She repeated, more with annoyance than venom this time. “My license and registration?”

“Considering you were going sixty-five in a thirty, yeah.”

Asami exhaled and dug her registration out of her glove compartment. She looked around for her wallet and flipped her bag upside-down to find it.

_Fucking hell._

Mako sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You forgot your license again, didn’t you?”

Asami scowled over her shoulder and continued searching. Her patience was wearing thin.

Mako crossed his arms and furrowed his brow. “Just like how you forgot to answer your phone, apparently.”

She stopped dead in her frantic movements and turned to him. “ _What_ did you just say to me?”

_Asami, don’t be stupid now._

“I called you and texted you and messaged over a dozen times to talk, and you _never_ answered.” There was ire in his tone and his eyes.

“Why do you think _that_ is?” She growled back.

_Deep breaths, Asami. In and out._

“I don’t know because you won’t fucking _tell_ me!” He threw his arms up in the air. “I’m not a fucking mind reader, Asami.”

The anger boiled up inside of her.

_Asami, don’t –_

“Then maybe you can read _this_ ,” she replied as she flipped him off.

“Get out of the car,” he commanded.

“I don’t have to do _shit_ ,” Asami grumbled, gripping the steering wheel as she did so. She resisted the urge to just take off and leave him in her dust.

“Actually, you _do_. You see this,” he reached into his coat and pulled his badge out. “I’m a fucking _cop_ , remember? Now when I say get out of the car, I mean _get out of the car._ ”

Asami pounded her hand on the unlock button and ripped her door open. She tore her seatbelt off and emerged from her Satomobile. She slammed the door shut and faced him. “Fine, I’m out of the car. What do you fucking want?”

He waved his badge again. “Cop, remember?”

Asami bit back her tongue, though the corners of her eyes lit red.

“Now, where is your license?”

“I already _told_ you, I don’t have it.”

“Actually, you didn’t tell me _anything_ , just like you haven’t been telling me anything since we kissed at Bolin’s party.”

“What is your fucking _problem_?”

“My _problem_ ,” he stepped up to her, frustration and hurt in his eyes, “is that you led me on and left me to hang after you kissed me.”

Asami scoffed. She almost laughed. She couldn’t believe the words she was hearing. “I led you on? How could I have _possibly_ have led you on, Mako, when I spent most of our time together talking about Korra?”

“We talked about other things, Asami.”

“Oh, you mean the weather?”

“We talked about more than that!” Mako turned from her and walked away towards the building she was pulled near. He took a breath to calm himself.

It was then that Asami realized it; Kitsune was not the only one involved in all of this. “You fell in love with me, didn’t you?” Before he could respond, everything started clicking into place. “You did this on purpose,” she took a step forward, vexation in her voice. “You – you planted all those thoughts about Korra being dead in my head so that – so that I would come crawling to you for comfort.” She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists. “You _lied_ to me.”

“I didn’t _lie_ , Asami,” he snarled and faced her. “I was being realistic. While Bolin and Opal were in happy hopeful optimistic land about ‘everything being okay’,” he mocked them, “I was considering _reality_ , just as I always did when I raised Bolin on my _own_. Korra hadn’t written to you in _months_. It was logical that she could have been dead.”

“And what would have happened if she was, huh? You would have swooped in to rescue me?” She moved closer and stared into his eyes with fire in hers. “Well you can go _fuck_ yourself because you will _never_ replace Korra. You – you’re a fucking _asshole_.” Her heart raced. Adrenaline pumped through her veins. She felt an odd sort of tingling as realization washed over her. “Bolin _told_ you to stay away from me, but you made a move on me anyway.”

“I was just trying to be a good friend!”

“A good friend?” She snarled. “Do good friends _make out_ with each other when they’re _drunk_?”

“I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to have alcohol!” He advanced on her, his own frustration boiling over. “All I wanted was for you to have a good time and to forget about things for a while.”

“Forget about _things_ or forget about _Korra_?” She snapped in response.

“Fine, I wanted you to forget about Korra, but _not_ so that I could make out with you.”

“Then for _what_ reason, Mako. What justification could you possibly have for kissing me when I was drunk?”

“Because I _loved_ you!” He hollered over the roll of thunder behind him. “And I _still_ do. I care about you, and seeing you so fucked up was painful.”

“So you thought you could cure that by fucking me?”

He balled his hands into fists. “We didn’t _fuck_ and I never meant to make out with you! Yes, I love you, and you can’t help who you fall in love with, but you weren’t the only one drunk that night.”

“Being drunk doesn’t justify your actions.”

“Oh, and it justifies _yours_?” He moved closer to her, forcing her to take a step back. “It takes _two_ people to make out, you know.”

“You were well aware of my situation, Mako. But you still went after me.”

“You led me on and made me think that you liked me, that you cared about me and wanted me closer to you! Or did you forget all the nights we talked and texted until three in the morning because you couldn't sleep? Or the times you cried on my shoulder? Or all the times we met up for tea when Bolin and Opal weren't there? Or even when they were. I wasn’t trying to go _after_ you; I was trying to _look_ after you. And besides, y _ou_ kissed _me_.”

She scoffed. “That’s a fucking lie and you _know_ it! _Korra_ kissed _me_.”

“Korra wasn’t even there!” He threw his arms up into the air in frustration once more. “The only person who’s been _there_ for you was _me_ , and all this time, I’ve been trying to contact you to talk things over about what happened and move on from this and you just completely fucking _ignore_ me. Do you realize how much that hurts? How _worried_ I’ve been about you? I've been tearing my hair out wondering if you were okay!”

“I don’t fucking _care_ how ‘worried’ you’ve been,” she mocked, her fists shaking in anger. “As a matter of fact, I don’t fucking care about _you_. The only person I care about is _Korra_. You want to know why I stopped returning your messages? Why I changed my number and blocked you everywhere I could? Because I want nothing more to _do_ with you, Mako. I never have and I never will!” Tears welled up in her eyes. She couldn’t stop herself from falling over the edge. Everything – her emotions, her exhaustion, her entire situation – consumed her. “You fucking ruined _everything_. Everything I had is _gone_ because of you.” Her voice weakened into an angry, painful sob. The tears streaming down her cheeks were hidden by the pouring rain. This fueled the storm inside of her. She took a breath and growled, part of her composure regained. “Our ‘ _kiss’_ was not because I loved you. We might have been good friends, I _never_ loved you. I kissed you because I was so _drunk_ that I thought you were Korra because I love _Korra_ and I will never, ever, with a single ounce of fiber in my being, love you. Our make out session? It meant _nothing_.” She pointed her finger in his face with rage. “ _You_ mean nothing. Now give me my fucking ticket so I can get on my fucking way!”

“I am an officer of the law. Get your finger out of my face,” he commanded, reaching up to push it away.

A firm hand on his right shoulder stopped him.

Before Mako knew it, he was being spun around with a hard tug from the same hand.

The first sight he saw was a pair of blue eyes that were filled with a deathly rage ten times worse than the peridots behind him.

He didn’t notice the hand that clenched the front of his coat.

A split second later, before he could even register anything but the eyes, a bruised fist struck him square in the nose.

Mako flew back and stumbled onto the ground, cradling his broken, bleeding nose with gritted teeth. The pain was immense. He looked up and saw an almost-shadow standing over him – its outline somewhat fuzzy from the downpour – while Asami stood in complete shock where he had left her.

Then, it stepped into the street light and bent over. Their faces were inches apart. He could see every little detail of her face, every scar, every ounce of pain and destruction engrained in her from the war, the blood splotched, tattered grey jacket of her uniform hitting his peripherals.

If looks could kill, even his future grandchildren would be dead right now.

“Stay. Away. From. Asami.” Korra growled, more menacing now than she had ever been in her life.

Naga was beside her, snarling and bearing her teeth with just as much ferocity.

Mako was frozen. All he could do was hold his nose and watch on with an ever-growing fire raging inside of him. He was an officer of the law, dammit, and Korra had just struck him. This called for an immediate arrest, and he knew she wasn’t going to go without coercion. He scrambled to his feet as Korra turned her back on him.

Naga barked and dug her toes into the cement.

This alerted her. It was then that Korra noticed from the corner of her eye that Mako’s hand was going towards his gun.

She acted with the split-second timing that they had trained her for in her years with the army. Korra lunged at him and caught his wrist as he pulled the glock from the holster. She twisted his arm away from them and smashed the back of his hand with hers, forcing the weapon from his grip. She took hold of it and released him.

Part of her told her to aim, begged her to, _demanded_ her to.

She resisted.

Instead, she released the clip and let it fall to the ground. She slid in the same motion and pulled the slide back, emptying the round in the chamber. Korra flipped her hold to the barrel of the gun and smashed the heavy end into Mako’s skull behind his left eye before he could even react to her speed.

Within several seconds of him getting up and reaching for his gun, he was on the ground again.

And this time, he wasn’t going to get back up.

Korra stared at his unconscious body on the sidewalk, the gun still in hand. Her arms shook. Blood trickled from Mako’s wound and mixed with the rainwater, the force of her blow enough to knock him out cold.

A voice told her to keep going. Give him what he deserves. Get out all of your frustration. Beat him to a bloody pulp for kissing Asami.

It was then that she realized where she was and what she had done. She had been seeing red for too long, and the moment she got close enough to act on the argument between the two of them was right when Mako’s arm went up to Asami, and her entire sight was taken over by red, searing rage.

The images played back in her mind. She had punched a cop. She disarmed him, emptied his gun, and struck him with it.

And this was not a good thing, justified or not.

It was then that she became very aware of the weapon in her right, bruised hand, of the rain falling on her and the street light illuminating her morphed, previously almost-animalistic face.

It was then that she became aware of what she had done, of _everything_ she had done. Of what she had let herself become after the war.

Of the person standing just a few feet away from her, terrified.

Korra dropped the gun and lowered her head in shame. She watched the rain from the storm drip off of her nose and hit the ground.

Silence was between them.

She turned to Asami and stared into her green eyes as the storm raged on. 

(----)

 

 


	18. Hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!!! I know that this chapter is incredibly late, and I apologize for your extreme patience. Final exams, thesis work, and the holidays have just gotten in the way of me being able to write. But here it is, the latest chapter of my Korrasami month fic based on the Korrasami Month prompts. It's been a hell of a ride and I want to thank you all for taking the time to read my story and support it. It will continue when the next Korrasami week does! Until then, have a wonderful new year.

Korra felt sick inside. She was surprised she was even able to maintain eye contact with Asami for as long as she did. The rain poured between them, the pattering sound filling the silence and the falling droplets blurring their lines of sight.

Her heart twisted in her chest. Korra couldn’t look at her anymore.

She lowered her eyes to the ground and stared at the drops hitting the cement. Mako was in her peripherals, as was the gun she had used to strike him with. Naga was panting nearby.

Images – memories – flashed inside as the lightning lit the sky over her head. They overtook her. She couldn’t hold back her tears anymore.

A sob erupted from her chest, its intensity like a roll of thunder in the quietness that kept them apart. Korra reached up with the back of her bruised, bloody hand to wipe her tears away. She brushed her scarred cheeks but it made no difference; the rain just replaced any moisture that the tears might have left on her dirty skin. Her body convulsed and she heaved at the memories that played in her head.

Of the war and the monster it made of her.

Of her actions and the consequences that were sure to come.

Of the love of her life and how she had destroyed what they had worked so hard to build.

“I’m sorry, Asami,” she wept, “I’m so sorry.” A deep cough forced its way up her throat and shook her to the core. She couldn’t stop quivering from the cold as she let it out. Korra staggered but kept to her feet. She held her hand up to Asami until she stabilized; she was going to get through this and say everything she wanted to say – even if it killed her.

Asami watched on with pain in her expression. Rain slid down her cheeks and into the exposed seams of her clothes.

“I’m sorry, Asami,” Korra continued once she got a handle on her coughing.

_Keep going. You owe it to her, and you owe it to yourself._

“I’m sorry for being away for so long,” she held her elbows to hold herself together, “and I’m sorry –” Korra pushed another cough out. Her brow wrinkled in frustration, but the countenance faded quickly as the words and emotions poured out of her. “And I’m sorry for hurting you in the process. I’m – I’m sorry that things got out of hand,” she hacked again and almost fell over from the force of it.

_Come on, stay on your feet. You can do this. You need to._

Determination swelled in her eyes. She wiped her mouth with the back of her left hand and straightened. She glanced into Asami’s peridots but looked away, the ache growing in her heart. “I’m sorry that things got out of hand and that I wasn’t –” Another cough. “– able to stay in contact with you, that I didn’t write to you more often, and that – that all the letters that I _tried_ to send to you never got through.”

Korra lowered her head and sighed to this, a bit of anger coursing through her. She pushed it away and continued.

“I’m sorry for the sleepless nights that I caused you while I was gone,” she stopped for another cough. This one was short. She cleared her throat and choked back her tears. “And I’m sorry for the things I said to you, for getting angry at you and spiting you and being so _awful_ to you when you were just trying to explain what happened. I’m so – so _frustrated_ ,” Korra growled and wrinkled her brow, “but it’s not at you. It’s at _him_ ,” she twisted and pointed to the unconscious Mako on the ground.

But she knew this wasn’t entirely the truth. Yes, she _was_ furious with Mako, especially after learning the details that she had ignored or hadn’t even _known_ before her initial outburst towards Asami.

That was the thing, though – her outburst towards Asami. It wasn’t Asami’s or Mako’s or the war’s. It was her own. The anger she felt… it ran much deeper than this, than Mako, and she couldn’t deny it.

Korra crumbled. The weight of everything she had done came crashing down on her.

And she could no longer keep it on her shoulders.

She lifted her head and looked to the skies as the tears fell down her face. She kept her back to Asami as she stammered, her hands in painful fists.

“I’m – I’m not just angry at him. I’m – I’m – I’m angry at _myself_. I… I –” Korra lowered her head into her palms and sobbed. “I ruined everything. I fucked everything up, Asami. All of this – _all_ of it,” she swung a hand out to motion at Mako on the ground, “this is _all_ my fault. I – I’m –” She threw her head back in exasperation. Korra lowered it to the ground and let her arms fall to her sides. “I’m a monster,” she whimpered between exasperated breaths.

There were a thousand more things that she wanted to say, but they wouldn’t come out. All she could do was let the rain pour down on her. She closed her eyes and spoke before Asami could move forward to rebuke her claim.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for treating you the way that I did. I was an asshole. And I threw it all away – everything we had – for a fucking kiss? A drunk make out session that was never meant to happen? I didn’t even let you explain. I never even – I never even listened to you. I heard ‘made out’ and ‘Mako’ and saw red. You – you’ve been waiting for me. You _love_ me. I know this now – and I should have known it then. I was too – everything just –”

Korra couldn’t find a justification that wasn’t ‘I’m a fucking idiot’.

And that’s exactly what she said.

“I’m a fucking idiot, Asami. How could I – how could I ever think that you didn’t –” She wiped her eyes and coughed again, her chest convulsing from her weeping.

Korra gritted her teeth and took a breath.

“I’m sorry, Asami. I’m sorry for _everything_. You’ve been waiting for me, just like you said you would. And you love me. And things weren’t easy on you because of it.”

She glanced over her shoulder and peeked at the peridots staring at her. Korra faced her but looked at the ground when she rotated.

It was then that Asami got a good look at her. There was blood on Korra’s uniform. It was torn and tattered and ripped apart. Her hair was disheveled. Mud and dirt clung to her wet clothing in spots. Her arms were shaking. Her hands were balled into fists, her right bloodied and bruised from what she could see in the lowlight. There was pain and exhaustion on Korra’s face that made Asami’s heart wretch.

Most powerful of all, though, in the short glimpses she got of Korra’s eyes, was regret. Regret and hurt and pain and hatred and – what made her stomach ache the most – self-loathing, a frustration and ire so powerful that Asami was lost for words.

“I still have the letters you wrote me,” Korra reached into her coat pocket and pulled them out. She lowered them to her waist and stared at the envelopes in her trembling hands. “I’ve read them so many times that I can almost recite them word for word. Especially the last one.” She frowned, knowing _exactly_ what that letter contained. “And I heard what Opal said about you when she argued with Bolin. About how upset you’ve been. About how –” Korra struggled to get the words out of her mouth. She heaved. “How _broken_ you’ve been. Not just about me being gone, but about what happened between you and Mako.”

Asami’s emotions fluttered in her chest. Her heart was racing.

And Korra could feel it. She could feel every ounce of it.

“You made a mistake,” she continued, letting her hands fall to her side, the letters still in hand. “You made a mistake and I threw it in your face.”

Their eyes met, the anger in those oceans piercing right through to Asami’s core before the connection was broken again.

And it wasn’t hard for Asami to see the authenticity in Korra’s eyes. She could feel every ounce of emotion that Korra was pouring out just as she could feel the rain pouring onto her skin.

“I’m sorry, Asami,” Korra muttered again, her voice hoarse from talking and coughing too much. Just the thought of it made her throat tickle. She stifled the urge to hack and swallowed painfully instead. “And the reason –” She began, the roughness being replaced by a knot. “The reason –” Korra looked up to the sky, her eyes watering as she tried to get the words out. “The reason that – that I’m – that I’m saying sorry is – is –”

Korra’s hands were shaking again. She couldn’t withhold her tears anymore. She let them fall, let it all go.

“The reason that I’m saying sorry is because – because I _love_ you, Asami. I love you so much. And I will always love you – I don’t think I’ll be able not to, even if I tried. I – I love you, Asami Sato, and if there was one thing that Kitsune was right about, it was that.”

Korra faced her completely and looked up into her eyes with soft, crying oceans.

“I love you,” she murmured, “I love you with all of my heart, Asami. And I’m sorry – I’m sorry for _everything_ …”

Korra looked away and wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hands.

Asami stepped forward and placed a gentle palm on Korra’s shoulder.

Even after all of this – after all their time apart and all of the anguish they’ve been through, all of the pain and torment – after all of this, she could still feel Korra ease under her touch.

“I love you, too, Korra,” Asami choked out, struggling to keep her own tears from falling. “And _I’m_ sorry, too, for everything I’ve done to you.”

Korra glanced up at Asami and watched with an aching heart as Asami released her.

She put her back to Korra and held her elbows as she stared at the ground. “You’re not entirely to blame here, you know. I – I got drunk and made a mistake – a _huge_ mistake – and it’s something that I’ll regret for the rest of my life.” Asami lowered her head and tightened her hold on herself as she continued. “But most of all, I’m sorry I lost even an _ounce_ of hope in you. As the days turned into months without word from you, I – I started to really believe that you were –” She took a breath.

Her tears fell.

Asami heaved and wiped them away. They, too, were replaced by the rain.

“I thought that you were dead, Korra, that you weren’t going to come back. I started losing hope and I never should have.” She, too, looked to the sky as Korra had, the frustration at herself apparent. She shook her head and lowered it back to the ground. “I should have known better. You told me you would come back and you _did_.”

Asami turned to Korra and met her eyes with watery ones. A small smile pursed her lips.

“You’re here, standing in front of me. You’re alive. This isn’t some drunken hallucination. This isn’t like the fleeting dreams I’ve been having for months. You’re here, you’re really here. And after everything, I – I couldn’t be more grateful that you’re speaking to me right now.” Asami looked away. Her tears continued. “I’m sorry, Korra. I’m sorry for everything.”

Korra’s face softened in its sadness. She put the letters back into her jacket and reached her bruised hand out.

“Asami…”

Asami glanced up at her.

Korra wiped some of Asami’s tears away with her thumb. She stepped back and let her arms fall to her sides. She took Asami in within the low light before looking away.

“I love you, Asami.” Her hands folded together at her waist. Her fingers tousled with each other, as painful as the action was with her injured knuckles. She stared at her fidgeting hands as she spoke. “I know that – that things will never be the same after everything that has happened. But – but I want to get better. I want to move on from this, from the war, from the pain – from _all_ of this. And I want to move on with _you_. You – you mean so much to me. I couldn’t imagine not having you in my life. I love you and I would do _anything_ for you. If you want me to leave, I’ll leave. If you want me to stay, I’ll stay. Whatever you want, Asami.”

Korra outstretched her hands at waist level and offered her palms to Asami.

“What do you say?”

Their eyes met again, hope returning to both the oceans _and_ the peridots.

Asami couldn’t help but smile, though it was a small one. She stepped forward and took Korra’s hands in hers. She closed in on Korra and kept a lock on her pupils until they were too close to see.

Their lips met, the kiss gentle and soothing.

Slowly, their hands slid away and wrapped around the other’s back.

They melted into an embrace.

“I love you, Korra,” Asami whispered through her tears.

Korra tightened her hold. “I love you, too, Asami.” She cried as well.

They stood like this for several minutes, appreciating the warmth of the other for the first time in a _long_ time.

“Will you ever forgive me,” Asami asked when their hug ended, though their hands still lingered on the body of their lover, “for what I’ve done?”

Korra buried her fingers into Asami’s hair and stared deep into her eyes, sincerity in both her tone and her expression.

Sincerity and _love_.

“Of course I will.” She kissed Asami’s forehead, even if it _did_ force her to stand on her toes. “Will you,” she questioned when the peck was over.

Asami nodded and pulled away. She peered at the rain that hit the ground. “I think we both just need some time to forgive each other – and to forgive _ourselves_.”

Korra bobbed her head and offered her left hand to Asami. “Want to go home, then? We can shut the world away and just work on _us_.”

Asami smiled and met Korra’s eyes. “I would like that.” She laced her fingers with Korra’s and stood by her side.

A barking Naga got their attention.

They both turned to her and watched as Naga woofed at the unconscious Mako on the ground.

Korra scowled at the officer, though Asami’s expression was mixed. She almost motioned to leave when Asami tightened her hold on Korra’s hand.

“Wait.”

She stared at Asami with confusion.

“We can’t just leave him here, Korra.”

Korra glanced back at him. She lowered her head and sighed. “You’re right. As much as I might _want_ to…” She shook her head. “No. No, that’s not right. I’m already on thin ice with this. Besides,” she glanced up at Mako, though she wanted to look away, “Bo would probably kill me, even if he _is_ mad at Mako right now.”

She released Asami’s hand and walked up to him. Korra called to her over her shoulder. “Come on; let’s get him into his car. He’ll at least be dry there.” She crouched down to get a hold on him and nearly fell over.

Asami rushed to her side. “Here, let me help you,” she responded frantically. She stood on Korra’s left to substitute for her injured hip.

They lifted Mako from the ground by his torso and dragged him to his police car.

Asami held him in place as Korra opened the door.

They slid him into the back seat and laid him down, knowing full well he wouldn’t be able to keep himself upright in the driver’s spot.

Korra put his keys on his lap and motioned to shut the door when Asami stopped her.

She whispered in her ear. “Korra, what about his gun?”

Her expression grew worried. She peered over her shoulder at the empty weapon several feet away. Korra’s brow furrowed.

“Leave it. He doesn’t deserve a gun.”

Korra locked and shut the door before Asami could protest. She turned her back to her and stared off into the rainy distance. Fear crept into her heart at the consequences that might arise when Mako wakes up.

_If he wakes up_.

She gulped and peeked at the window of the cop car.

That’s when Asami’s outstretched hand caught her attention.

Korra traced it up to Asami’s face, which held a soft grin.

“I think we can go home now. What do you say?”

She couldn’t help but mirror the smile. Korra took Asami’s hand and laced their fingers together, more than ready to get away from this all – from Mako, from the storm, from the cold… She pulled Asami closer and called over her shoulder.

“Come on, Naga. We’re –” Korra choked on her words as tears filled her sight once more. She blinked them away. “We’re going _home_.”

Naga barked and stayed by Korra’s side – the one _furthest_ away from Asami – and occasionally rubbed herself against Korra’s limping leg.

Asami ignored this; just as her relationship with Korra would take time to repair, her relationship with Naga would be just the same. They _all_ needed time to heal. And after another violent cough from Korra when they reached Asami’s Satomobile, they all needed to get out of this damn storm.

“Here, let me help you inside,” she spoke with a gentle tone.

Korra nodded in appreciation, her body weakening now that the adrenaline was fading away. She hacked again as Asami assisted her into the front passenger seat.

Asami motioned to strap Korra in, but Korra waved her off.

“I can do it,” she muttered, regretting the decision when she tried to move her bruised right hand. She hid this from Asami and buckled her seatbelt.

Asami shut the door and opened the rear for Naga.

Naga jumped inside and shook her fur out all over Asami’s seat.

Asami frowned and sighed, knowing that the action was intentional. She closed the door and slid into the driver’s seat. With a twist of the key, the engine purred to life.

Korra startled from the sound and sat up, darting her tired eyes around her.

Asami couldn’t tell if this was something that she would have to get used to or if it was just because Korra was so exhausted. Regardless, she reached over and grabbed Korra’s left hand.

Their pupils met. Korra’s frantic ones calmed from the reassuring look Asami shot her.

Korra relaxed and laced their fingers over the stick shift.

Asami smiled and switched gears. She gripped the steering wheel and pressed on the gas.

It wasn’t long until Korra was asleep against the window as they made their way back to Asami’s apartment, hands locked for the entirety of the ride.

(-)

“Korra,” she muttered. “Korra, wake up.”

A soft nudge startled her.

Korra lurched forward and searched around her in a frantic state. Her grip on Asami’s hand tightened as she scanned the darkness, looking for danger.

“Hey, hey,” Asami responded, shaking Korra’s hand while she did so.

Korra flinched away from the loudness of Asami’s voice and turned to her.

Asami could see the fear in her eyes and the panting in her chest.

“Hey,” she whispered much softer than before, “you’re not in any danger. You’re safe here.”

She squinted up at Asami. After another breath, she began to calm down.

Asami squeezed Korra’s hand. “Are you okay?”

Korra nodded and looked away. “I’m – I’m okay. Just, uh – I’m fine.” She stared out the window and watched the rain fall on the glass.

Asami gave her a sympathetic look. She pulled Korra’s hand to her lips and kissed it.

This got her attention. She met Asami’s eyes once more.

“We’re here.”

Korra leaned forward and peered out the windshield.

“Oh, right,” she muttered to herself.

“Come on,” Asami smiled. She released Korra’s hand and crawled out of the Satomobile.

Korra glanced around her once more. When she was comfortable, she pushed the door open with a groan and climbed out of the Satomobile.

Asami caught her before she could fall.

“I’ve got you, don’t worry.” Asami took a firm hold on Korra’s torso, which forced a wince onto Korra’s face.

The cold hit Korra’s lungs like a freight train. It made a violent cough erupt from her chest. She staggered and leaned against the Satomobile until the hack was over.

Asami frowned. “Maybe I should take you to a hospital.”

Korra shook her head in an immediate response. “No, no hospitals. Not right now. I just – I just need to get out of the cold.”

Asami nodded and adjusted her hold on Korra. She pulled the handle of the back door open and Naga bolted out.

Naga spun around and growled at Asami.

“Naga, stop,” Korra spoke in a commanding tone.

Naga backed away in an instant.

Korra frowned and crouched down out of Asami’s grip. “Hey,” she called to her pet.

Asami closed the doors to her Satomobile and watched the interaction from a safe distance.

Naga approached Korra with a lowered head.

Korra buried her hands into Naga’s scruff and pet her. “I know you’re just looking out for me, but Asami isn’t hurting me. She’s a friend, okay?”

Naga huffed and walked away, leading them to the front door.

Korra struggled to her feet and sighed. “It might take a while before she starts to behave again. She’s stubborn like that.”

“Like _you_ ,” Asami chuckled as she wrapped her arm around Korra. “Come on; let’s get inside and out of this freaking storm.”

She nodded in appreciation. Once she was in the living room and the warmth, she started to feel better. Korra spotted her bag in the corner where she had left it. The broken vase was still in pieces on the floor, as were the roses.

This made her wince. She looked away in shame before another coughing spell hit her.

Asami helped her stay on her feet. “Why don’t you sit down? I’ll make you tea.”

Korra shook her head. “I had something else in mind.”

She turned her palm over and offered it to Asami.

Asami glanced between Korra’s hand and her oceans. She took her hand in hesitation.

Korra smiled and guided Asami through the living room with much-needed assistance from the wall.

Naga watched on from her bed and huffed.

Korra ignored her and continued on. She brought Asami to the bathroom and flicked the light on.

It was Asami’s turn to smile; she knew _exactly_ what Korra was thinking.

She slid her hand from Korra’s grip and shut the door behind them. Asami twisted the lock while Korra started the shower. She began unlacing her boots when she heard disgruntled noises behind her. Asami faced Korra with concern, though her expression melted into sympathy.

Korra was leaning against the wall, struggling to get _any_ piece of clothing off; her shoulder ached too much for her to remove her coat, her throbbing rib prevented her from bending to her feet, and her damaged hip limited her to standing on just one leg.

“Can I help you,” Asami asked in a gentle voice, a hand now on Korra’s forearm.

Their eyes met.

Korra looked away and nodded in a silent response.

Asami smiled in relief. She directed Korra onto the toilet seat cover. “Here, sit. It will be easier.”

Korra groaned her way onto the lid. While she didn’t admit it aloud, she was relieved to be off her feet.

Asami started at Korra’s boots. Her face grew concerned when a knife in a sheath clanged out of one of Korra’s shoes. She glanced up at Korra only to see her look away in embarrassment. Asami put a hand on her thigh and squeezed before continuing on. Once her boots were off, she made her way to Korra’s tattered jacket. She slid that off with care. Asami couldn’t help but notice the edge of the picture she had given Korra when she left for war sticking out of the inner coat pocket.

_She still has it, after all this time. _

Her heart melted for a moment. Asami put the jacket aside and turned back to Korra.

Then she paused, unsure of what to do next.

“It’s okay, Asami,” Korra muttered with a rough voice, coughing after making the statement. “I can do this part,” she mumbled when she recovered. She fidgeted with her belt, failing to pull it apart. Her throbbing hand made it difficult to open the clasp.

Her shaking from the cold didn’t make it any easier.

“Here, let me help,” she insisted, unable to watch Korra struggle for a second more. She removed Korra’s belt and unbuttoned her pants.

Korra forced her rear off the toilet with a push of her legs so she could slide her pants down. She winced at the action, her hip aching. She released the breath she was holding once the waistband was to her knees and she could sit again.

Asami frowned and pulled Korra’s pants the rest of the way. “You really got hurt, didn’t you?”

Korra nodded and took a moment to gather herself. She fidgeted with her shirt afterwards without much success.

Their eyes met and Asami accepted Korra’s quiet plea in silence.

Asami slid her hands to the hem at the bottom of Korra’s plain white tee and lifted it.

Korra grunted when the shirt passed her head, her shoulder aching from the movement.

“I’m sorry,” Asami whispered, feeling genuine distress for worsening Korra’s injury.

She shook her head. “No, you’re fine. Thank-you for your help.” Korra used her feet to remove her socks before glancing up at Asami. “I really appreciate it.”

Peridots locked onto oceans. A gentle smile crossed their lips.

“You’re welcome,” Asami replied. She leaned over and kissed Korra’s forehead. “How about you get in first? I still need to undress.”

Korra nodded and staggered into the tub in her bra and underwear. She gritted her teeth as she lowered herself in. She leaned against the end opposite the handles so that the hot water was pelting her chest. She rested the back of her head against the wall and closed her eyes in content. The steam filled her lungs, helping her core warm and her coughing soothe.

Asami stripped down to her delicates as well. She slid into the shower and glanced down at Korra with concern.

There were several deep bruises on Korra’s injured hip from when she fell. Random scrapes were on her arms. Scars of different sizes and severities marked her skin, each with their own story. Asami wondered what those tales were, and pondered whether Korra even knew all of their origins.

It wasn’t until Korra spoke to her that she snapped out of the trance that she was in.

“Is everything okay, Asami?”

Asami didn’t respond. She simply kneeled down and pulled herself closer to Korra. She planted a gentle kiss on her lips before curling into Korra’s torso.

Korra stared down at her, the feeling all too familiar to her; this was just like the times they spent together in the shower after Asami was drugged at the party.

It felt like so long ago.

Yet, the shower still seemed to bring them comfort, though Korra couldn’t tell if it was the hot water streaming onto them or just the fact that they were in each other’s arms, vulnerable only to each other and locked away from the world. Maybe it was a combination. Or maybe it was something else.

Either way, Korra pulled Asami closer on instinct. They were together. They were _safe_ again, even if the moment was brief in the chaos that was their lives.

They sat like this for quite some time, the minutes dragging out slower and slower between them. It didn’t matter, though. The only thing that mattered to them was _them_.

Asami readjusted her position after her leg started to fall asleep. She stretched out and sat so that Korra’s legs were framing hers. Her back was to Korra’s front. She leaned into Korra until their heads were in line. Her hands found Korra’s arms and trailed down the muscles until their palms touched. She brought them around her waist to her abdomen and interlaced their fingers.

It was then that she got a good look at Korra’s injured hand.

“Korra,” she spoke for the first time in what felt like hours. She lifted Korra’s hand up to her eyes to better inspect it.

There were bruises and cuts all over Korra’s hand. Her knuckles were swollen, two of which were ripped open. Korra’s finger occasionally twitched under Asami’s inspection.

Her jaw dropped. “What – what happened? This couldn’t have _all_ been from punching Mako.”

Korra’s face and tone grew sheepish. She sighed, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to escape the truth.

“You’re right. It’s not.” She squirmed behind Asami but didn’t pull away. “I kinda – punched a paper towel dispenser in a bathroom.”

Asami turned around to meet Korra’s eyes, Korra’s hand still in hers. “Why?”

Korra looked away and mumbled. “I was angry and stupid.”

She frowned and looked at Korra’s knuckles. “We should really get you to a hospital.”

Korra shook her head again to the idea. “No. I don’t want to spend my last hours with you in a hospital.”

Asami’s head shot up to Korra in an instant. Her heart dropped. “What – what do you _mean_ your last hours?”

Korra sighed and straightened, this time pulling her hand from Asami. “You do realize what I did, right? I punched Mako, an official Republic City Police Officer, in the _face_ , took his _gun_ from him, emptied it, and rendered him _unconscious_ with it.” Korra held her elbows and looked away. “With everything that’s been happening, I don’t doubt that he won’t try to do _something_ about it once he wakes up.”

Asami frowned. “Do you think he’ll arrest you?”

Korra nodded. “Probably. And I don’t know when. But I’m expecting it.” She looked into Asami’s eyes. “I fucked up, Asami. If I have any chance of not getting arrested, I need to lay low.”

Asami struggled for a moment to gather words. “Korra, you _need_ medical attention. You’re hurt, and not just in your hand.”

She averted her gaze. “I know, Asami, I know. But right now – right now, I just want to spend time with you.” She locked onto the peridots before her. “I just want to relax with you and feel you next to me and close my eyes and hope that – hope that everything will be okay.” She glanced at her bruised hand and sighed. “I know it’s trivial, but I just want to _be_ with you. It’s – it’s been so long. And we have so much to work on. I want to start healing and getting better – and I don’t mean my hand,” she lifted it up and met Asami’s eyes before letting it drop. “I mean with _you_.”

Asami’s expression softened. She brought Korra’s hand up to her lips and kissed it before placing the palm against her chest, just above her breasts. She covered the back of it with each of her own.

Korra smiled and ushered her to return with her eyes alone.

Asami accepted. She settled into her position against Korra’s front but slid down until the back of her head was lying on Korra’s chest instead. She held Korra’s hands in hers.

“We’ll spend the night together. But tomorrow morning, I’m taking you to the hospital.”

It was Korra’s turn to agree. She did so with a quiet nod.

Asami smiled and closed her eyes. She had missed this: sitting in the shower with someone behind her – with the _love of her life_ behind her – holding her close. It made her feel loved. It made her feel safe. It had given her that feeling of security and hope and mere acceptance that she had desired all these months. It brought her a much needed peace. She released a soft sigh of content.

Korra shut her lids as well. She took in the warmth of the steam and the lingering scent of Asami’s skin with each inhale. It was nearly life restoring. She felt herself calm down. The memories started to fade into the moment, right here, right now, in the shower with the love of her life, locked away from the world around her. She didn’t feel on edge. She didn’t feel afraid. She felt loved and safe, a sentiment she had been yearning for since she left for the war. It was finally here. She could breathe again. A sense of peace – even if it was only temporary – was finally within her grasp.

And grasp it she did.

She tightened her hold on Asami.

“I missed you,” Asami muttered, relaxing into Korra even more.

“I missed you, too,” Korra replied in just as soft of a tone.

“I’m so glad that you’re alive, Korra.” Asami took a sharp breath, her thoughts forcing her tranquility away. “And I’m sorry for everything that happened.”

“Hey,” she squeezed Asami’s hands to get her attention.

Asami sat up and craned her head to Korra.

Their sleepy eyes met.

“I’m sorry, too. But let’s stop thinking about the past.”

Asami raised a brow. “What do you mean?”

“The past,” Korra started, straightening a bit before continuing, “the past is important. It’s meant to teach us and, when it comes to good memories, make us happy. But we can’t waste time _living_ in it. The more we keep apologizing to each other for it, the more we, in turn, keep thinking about it, and the more it’ll consume us. Right now, we’ll both feel bad for what we did. It’ll cross our minds every day and we’ll feel the need to say sorry, even in the most random circumstances. But that’s just going to keep opening the wound. It’s okay while it’s fresh – it’ll happen without us realizing it is. All this – all this is still raw. We’re still getting used to it, adjusting to it, getting _over_ it. We’re _going_ to apologize to each other for a while, but if we _keep_ apologizing for it and bringing it up every day for months and months, then that wound? That wound is going to _stay_ raw, and it’s never going to heal. It’ll sting forever and it will always be something that keeps us apart. Once we get past the next few days or weeks – however long it’ll take for this guilt to start to fade away… we need to learn to move on, just as we did before I went out to war after that party. We need to learn to forgive each other and to forgive _ourselves_. It’ll take time, but we’ll get there.”

“And if we never forgive ourselves?”

Korra’s face softened. She buried her hands into Asami’s hair. “It’ll be okay. We’ll get there, and we’ll learn how to forgive ourselves, _together_.”

Asami smiled and slid into a gentle embrace.

Korra pulled her close and nuzzled Asami’s neck.

“Are we going to be okay,” Asami whispered.

Korra nodded. “We’ll be okay. It’ll take time, but we’ll be okay, as long as we love and support each other. We can do this, Asami.”

“You and me,” she asked as she departed from the hug, staring deep into Korra’s eyes with watery ones.

“You and me,” Korra confirmed. “I want to get better and to get through this. And I want _you_ to get better, too. I want _us_ to get better.”

“And we will,” Asami replied, a new determination sparking in her. “I’m here for you, if you ever want to talk or anything. Whatever you need from me.”

Korra smiled. “And whatever you need from me.”

Asami bent down and locked her lips with Korra’s in a tender kiss. “And we’ll be okay,” she asked when she departed, tears streaming down her face.

Korra nodded. “We’ll be okay.”

Asami grinned and kissed Korra once more. She brushed Korra’s hair behind her ear when the kiss ended and stared into her oceans.

“Want to stay here for a while,” Korra offered.

She nodded and melted back into Korra.

They smiled and scooched into each other. They both let out an audible sigh and relaxed, the hot water and steam lulling them into sleep. Hell, just the comfort the other provided was enough to do this; the shower was a bonus. They were together again, _finally_ together again. And while they were a bit battered and bruised, they would no longer be broken, so long as they had each other. Their last thoughts before drifting into slumber were of each other, of the strength of their love, of the hope for recovery and growth that was rooting within them, and of how they were going to persevere through everything that was to come, no matter how long it would take.

For they had each other, and in this moment, it was all that they needed.

 

 


End file.
